


Where do Babies Come From

by Arahiro_kun



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Fluff, GinHiji - Freeform, M/M, Mpreg, Parasites, Plot Twists, Slow Burn, Timeline Shenanigans, okikagu hints
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-05-01 01:43:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 151,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14509746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arahiro_kun/pseuds/Arahiro_kun
Summary: "That looks like mine.""'tis not! How would it look like yours?! It doesn't have a strand of perm!""Oi oi! You can't be sure about that! I'm pretty sure if I strip that down It's not as silky shiny straight as you V bangs!""You bastard! Why are we even talking about me?!""Eh? I'm talking about your Hijikata jun— I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! IT'S A JOKE! I MEANT THE BABY! I'm talking about the baby Hijikata-kun!"In a universe where you can blame the anomalies and absurdity to the amanto, you can also blame them how you accidentally got an unborn kid with the worst person possible.





	1. Urgent Flash Reports are Somehow Late Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, this is my first fanfic ever, please forgive me. English is not my mothertongue so there would be expected errors everywhere. Anyway, enjoy.

"SOUGO YOU BASTARD!!! WHERE ARE YOU, YAMAZAKIIII??!"

The familiar yell of the shinsengumi's vice-comander followed by another familiar explosion took everyone's attention in the barracks. It's a notification that Hijikata woke up late again and Yamazaki failed to wake him up. That's twice in a row for that week. It has been almost a week since he started failing to wake up on his usual early morning routine. Upon realizing that his body clock kept on betraying him for three consecutive days already, he resorted to leave it to Yamazaki and ask him to wake his sleepyhead before Sougo's bombs will. Apparently, it doesn't look very effective.

"Fukuchou! I'm so sorry! I did try to wake you, but you didn't budge and—"

"It's seppuku for you!" Hijikata yelled and the poor soul hurriedly tried to escape.

"But fukuchou!" Yamazaki begged for mercy in hopes of being spared while running for his life.

This day, even Kondo found it odd already. True, Hijikata has been having all-nighters and that's not news, but having a consecutive oversleeping like that never happened before. This made him worry so he forced his vice-commander to have the day off, albeit forcefully. 

.  
.  
.  
.

"The grumpy Hijikata has been grumpier than usual, per see," Sougo said while enjoying his dango with his fellow sadist. Just like the usual day where he slacks off in the dango stand with the silver perm escaping from work. 

"Give him a break Okita-kun. That's just how oldies are when it's about time for their menopausal stage,"

"Ah naruhudo," Sougo said as if everything did make sense with that statement. "That explains a lot, Danna. Does that mean you're about to cross the line as well?"

"Oi oi, don't lump me in with that stuck in the mud mayora. Gin-san is forever a child at heart. I'll never get there."

"Your hair says it all, Danna. You can't hide your age."

"It has always been like that!" Gintoki said exasperatedly. He didn't have a great morning too after drinking with Hasegawa last night. He just woke up with a hangover in the entrance, and the next thing he remembered is being dragged by the yorozuya kids to work despite his awful hangover. 

He scratched his forearm again and he realized how ugly it's starting to look. He remembered being awoken in the middle of the night a before with an insect bite. He doesn't even know if it's an insect. He just knew that he didn't catch the fucker to kill it. After a few days, he's been having an allergic reaction to the spot he's been bitten and today, he's starting to notice a somewhat mark and it's getting bigger and darker. It pisses him off really because it's getting itchy as hell. 

"Gin-san! Stop lazying around and help us finish that roof!" Shinpachi came stomping with protest. 

"You're a big boy now, Patusan. You can handle it," Gintoki brushed him off too lightly. 

"That's no good Danna. You shouldn't let your kids make a living for you."

"You don't understand, Souichiro-kun. That's how hierarchy in an organization works. I'm the boss and that's how the employer is to his employees."

"That would be acceptable if we receive an actual pay!" Shinpachi complained and dragged Gintoki back to work. "Now let's get back to work! We won't last a day after you spent all the money in the pachinko last night!"

.  
.  
.  
.

The next week hasn't been any better for Hijikata. It got worse that he almost gave up on morning assemblies if only he's not trying to stay alive for the day. A tiny voice in his head is thanking Sougo for that. He kept himself occupied for the next few days and the following week for the stakeout. 

After the stakeout, things started to adjust and he got better in handling his new body clock. Just when he thought that things are getting better, everything fell apart since breakfast. It's just his usual breakfast in the barracks until he tried eating it with his universal condiment. 

He immediately ran to the toilet and puke out his one spoonful breakfast and his empty stomach. 

"Toshi? Are you okay?" Kondo went and followed him to the toilet while the others regarded it as one of Sougo's usual antics.

"Okita taichou, the explosion in the vice-commander's room should be enough for at least this morning, right?" Yamazaki asked worry and pity in his tone though he sounds more nervous about the question. 

"That's a strong accusation right there, Yamazaki. I was just about to buy a laxative for his dinner. I didn't touch that guy's breakfast," Sougo replied with innocence. It's not all that convincing to Yamazaki though. 

"I would say you're innocent if I don't know you enough, taichou," Yamazaki replied with a straight face, annoying Sougo. 

"It's just about time he got sick of that dog food, cherry boy," Sougo spat and Yamazaki's replies were turned inted deaf ears by the first division captain. His gaze followed Hijikata and even to him, this is all starting to get really weird. The world must be ending or better yet, the manga might actually be ending with this tragedy. Hijikata puking his guts out because of mayo hasn't been one of his schemes. He may have given him a few trips to the toilet before, but it was never because he wanted to vomit. 

"Toshi, what's going on with you?" Kondo asked with a worried tone. "Are you okay?"

"Don't worry Kondo-san. It's just Sougo with his usual pranks. He must've mixed something in my mayonnaise," Hijikata said, thinking that it's the most rational cause to begin with. 

"Really? Don't worry Toshi. I'll talk to him. Get back and finish your breakfast okay? You're about to do the morning rounds, right? Be sure not to go out with an empty stomach!" His commander reminded with enthusiasm. He gave a curt nod while still facing the toilet and Kondo left him after being given the assurance that Hijikata is going to be fine. 

Hijikata forced himself to get up and went over tp the sink to wash his hands and face properly. He hopes it's also enough to wash away the nauseous feeling. He doesn't have time for this. Hijikata heard footsteps coming closer and much to his dismay, Sougo's reflection was reflected in the mirror. 

"Sougo," Hijikata growled.

"Ne ne Hijikata-san. What is this sudden change of food preference? It's kinda too late to cleanse your disgusting character."

"Shut up! Go and commit seppuku! Before I slice you up myself!"

"That's very mean of you, Hijikata-san," Sougo pouted as if he's sulking. "Die first Hijikata-san. It looks like you're at it right now. Whatever you're doing, keep on doing that and die slowly."

Hijikata glared as the first division's captain left. He has no idea of what is going on with him, and he hates to admit it, but it doesn't look like sougo this time. He assumes that he bought an expired mayonnaise this time and simply decided to but a whole new supply later. 

He wiped his face and assured himself that he's gonna be fine. Of course he will... Or so he thought. 

.  
.  
.

The same thing happened during lunch for the same reason and it pissed him off more than it should. Both his hands are on the toilet lid to support his torso's weight. His nausea still didn't wear off and for the second time that day he lost his appetite. His head is swirling and it's so much worse than the feeling everytime he wakes up in the morning. His second face to face with the toilet that day was too disturbing. He decided that as soon as his head would clear up, he's going to go back to work. He stared at the toilet for a while to recover his senses until he noticed a mark on his wrist that looks like a bruise. He examined it and wondered where he got it, but disregarded it later upon realizing that his head is clear enough. 

He stood up and went back to his office. After another couple of hours working on his paperwork, he remembered that it's almost time for his favorite drama. 

_"I cannot accept this!"_  
_"Please, you can't leave me..."_  
_"Silence!"_  
_"You can't! Please listen! I have to tell you something!"_  
_"I don't want to hear it!"_  
_"You have to hear this! I'm —"_  
  
——————*  
  
**"We have to interrupt this program to announce this urgent news from Yamada-sensei."**

_____ _

 

"What??! Hey, what was Yui about to say?! Why do they have to cut that important part?!" Gintoki protested after his drama was interrupted by the sudden flash report. They just finished the job and hurriedly went home to catch up with that drama, only to have it interrupted in the good part. 

"Maa maa, Gin-san. I'm sure this won't be long. It must be that urgent if they had to immediately tell the public ratger than wait for the commercial break," Shinpachi tried to neutralize Gintoki's little breakdown. 

"Shut up, stupid glasses! Who cares about what they have to say! He only talks about recent result about parasites!" Kagura threw her fist flying again. 

"That hurt! Why did you have to hit me?!"

"Because you're stupid!"

"That's very i—"

"SHUT UP! I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING NOW!" Gintoki's voice overruled and it didn't stop the fight though it did stop the yelling. 

 

**"—yes, the parasitic amanto collects a DNA from a man with a painful sting. It will leave a DNA mark that would be more visible in a few weeks. After carrying a DNA from the first host, it will find another host to merge in the DNAs from the first and second host, thus creating a new life form inside the second host. The parasite is able to create changes and discharge hormones in the body of the second host, so that it would be able to bear the child. The parasite can only be removed with abortion or during the child's birth."  
** **"That's very shocking, Yamada-sensei. What if the second host turns out to be a guy?"**  


**"The parasitic amanto will make the body ready to conceive the child, so that works to," the doctor replied.**

**"The second host will experience the same symptoms of a pregnant woman regardless of gender. They will experience the expected morning sickness, nausea, and mood swings. In this condition, it would be harder for men to adjust. Their body will have to go a lot of adjustments after all."**

****

**"But what are we supposed to do in that situation, sensei?"**

**"Don't panic. If you find the strange mark after feeling a stinging sensation, you will have to look for the second host. They should match the same DNA mark with you. Once you do, you will have to talk and decide what to do from that point. After all, you are about to have an unexpected child from a random stranger. If you need help, just reach me in my office."  
"Thank you very much, Yamada-sensei. That's all about the update of the parasitic amanto. We will now continue the program."**

————

The room was filled with silence and the silver head samurai broke into a cold sweat. 

"Gin-chan? Don't tell me you feel like a pregnant woman now?" Kagura asked off-handedly.

"Whaaat?? Iyayaya. Have anyone of you see me having morning sickness or anything of that crap?" Gintoki vehemently denied with a cold sweat. 

Kagura and Shinpachi exchanged glances and confirmed to each other that their boss is indeed just being his usual self, so they dropped it and put their attention back to the continuation of the drama. Gintoki thought that it is a good distraction too, so he decided to go and watch the drama again.

_"That can't be mine!"_  
_"Of course it's yours! Why would I lie?!"_  
_"I refuse to accept this."  
_"You can't just go and do that! Take responsibility! Face it! I'm pregnant!"__

_____ _

_____ _

 

As much as the day could get any worse on Gintoki's end, another TV was sliced in half inside the Shinsengumi barracks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you. Well, I wasn't supposed to write anything to contribute to this fandom until Gintama is finished, but... I did it anyway. I started this instead of working on my thesis, so I gotta go and do that for a while. A shutout to my senpai, LeMayora for being my beacon of inspiration! Check her stuff! She's awesome!


	2. Abort Mission?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He just ate a radioactive squid," 
> 
> a voice came in and suddenly, all the blood from Hijikata's face evacuated somewhere else in his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the love of my life, Hijikata-kun  
> (๑ơ ₃ ơ)♥ Happy Birthday!!!

This can't be happening to him. 

Him? Pregnant? REALLY??! With a child? Stupid amanto parasite! Can't they just go and choose others who would want one?! He doesn't want to admit it, but Hijikata Toshirou's guts is positively aware that he's shit scared. Is he even cut out to be a father? Wait, should he even be called that? He's having the child in his body thanks to the parasite. Would that make him a mother now? NO! Wait! That can't be right! Everything is so wrong in so many levels!"

He doesn't even have a clue who the first host is. A child with a random stranger, really? How would he deal with that? Yamada-sensei said he should find the other one involved, but he's at a loss to actually make a move. What if the first host is a married woman? Wait, what? A woman and the stupid parasite chose him to bear the child?! Thinking about it only makes him more furious. 

Why him? He's not a parent material. He's not good with kids. He never thought of having one. He never even considered marrying and having his own family. 

His train of thought went to Mitsuba again and suddenly, he felt weak and limp. He gave a defeated sigh and though he told himself not to got there, his brain started to question again about the what could have beens in his life if he did end up with Mitsuba. What would the children look like.. What would have happened to them... He stopped himself and shook his head. He shouldn't be thinking about that now. 

Despite all the evidence in favor of the possibility that he is indeed pregnant, he still chose to go and ask for a second opinion. Thus, he went out and asked for a professional help. He made an appointment with Yamada-sensei first thing the next morning and he was glad that the doctor was happy to comply with his request of doing things with confidentiality. He went through tests and after a few hours, his results were out. 

"Hijikata-san, yes?" the doctor asked and the man in question responded with a nod. "We have your results. Yes, it's positively confirmed that your body was chosen as a host of the new parasitic amanto. According to your results, it has developed a uterus in your body, and a hormonal development. The baby is six weeks old as it seems. Judging from the fact that you came here alone, you haven't met your pair, have you?"

"I'm not sure if that's necessary," Hijikata replied. 

"Of course it is, Hijikata-san. You should include the other party involved in deciding of what to do next while it's still in its early stage."

"Early stage?"

"Yes, that means it's safer for your health to choose abortion. It would be a easier for a woman to conceive a baby, but a man will have to risk 40:60 chance of survival if you decided to keep the baby. But of course, you shouldn't decide on that matter on your own. Half of the DNA is the first host's, and there's a probability that they might want to keep the baby."

"Sensei, how many are the recorded cases of this?" Hijikata suddenly asked.

"Here in Edo, we have 6, as of the moment including you, Hijikata-san," he politely replied. 

"Can I ask how many of the involved individuals are married?"

The doctor was quite baffled by the question, yet he answered anyway, "Three, sir. Another one is engaged and they are at a loss of what to do."

"I see," Hijikata sighed, expecting something like that. He's already expecting that most decided to abort the baby. "You see, Yamada-sensei, I don't know what I should do too. This is not the life a man of a sword like me is expected to have, but I don't want to ruin the other person's life as well. That person may already have a family or is already in love with someone else. I never considered being a home wrecker,"

"Hijikata-san, I'm sure we can come into peaceful terms with the—"

"It's my body, anyway. I'll decide of what to do about it," Hijikata stood up and gave a courtesy bow. "Thank you for your time, Yamada-sensei."

"The pleasure is mine, Hijikata-san. Please get in touch when you reach for a decision. The sooner the better."

He walked inside the elevator to head down the ground floor. He should figure things out soon or else it will be a lot messier. The elevator door opened and he was surprised to see the silver head samurai with his usual dead fish eyes. 

"Ah Ougushi-kun, it must be fun using our taxes and chasing nurse skirts," Gintoki said, pricking his nose with his pinky again. 

Just a perfect timing for the perm to show up. He gritted his teeth and glared at the samurai. "Unlike you, I have a job with official matters to attend! How about you? What kind of a mess are you into again?"

"Oi, oi, I do have official matters to attend as well! Just like right now, I'm trying not to be late on my appointment with my official doctor because today is the official date when I scheduled my official sugar check! But look who's keeping me!"

"Shut up! I don't have time for this!" Hijikata lost it and made his way outside. 

He suddenly felt nauseous and the perm is being annoying again. He needs to cool his mind a little. He knows he's a bit more cranky than usual and it could be the hormones again. He cursed the perm and hoped he won't get a wind of this anytime soon. 

As soon as he was out the hospital, he felt the urgency to have a smoke. To his dismay, he didn't have a single stick left, so he begrudgingly walked to the nearest vending machine to get his favorite pack of Mayoboro. 

In his every step, he began to consider his options. What is he going to do? There are only two options for his situation it's just whether he keeps the baby or abort it. 

If he will decide to keep the kid, he can die with 60% probability. He won't choose to live by the sword if he's afraid of dying. That's not an issue if he's determined enough to keep it. What about his job then? What will he tell Kondo and the entire Shinsengumi? Can he even raise a child properly? What will happen to the kid if he suddenly dies in a stakeout or an assassination? That's right, he's got a lot of enemies. The kid's life will be put into danger as well. No matter how he sees it, the kid will not grow up safe and healthy considering the environment and he himself. 

His thoughts proceeded to the thought of abortion. Killing is not news to him either, but deciding to end a life of an innocent fetus, let alone his own flesh and blood inside him, doesn't settle right. Yes, he never thought of having one, and he doesn't need one, but that's because he thought he can't have one. Giving it a chance to live will have an equivalent so many responsibilities that he's not sure he can handle. 

If he will abort the baby now, no one will know. No one will be harmed. The problem will be solved and he can proceed with his life as planned... But that can't be right either. There is no way he can go off the hook easily after that. He will never be able to forgive himself for killing his own kid. After all, he's also an unexpected child. A bastard to be exact. 

Oh, that too. The possibility of the first host being married or anything of the sort. That would make the kid a bastard just like him. Growing up will sure be depressing. Maybe he should just end it before the kid can live the life he had.

What if the first host wants the kid? Uh... That would change everything. Hijikata groaned. Yamada-sensei is right. He had to at least know who the other person is. 

He gave a heavy sigh as he finally found a vending machine. He stopped by at the vending machine to get his favorite brand of cancer sticks when he suddenly received a call from Yamada-sensei. 

"Hijikata-san, I'm glad you picked up. I know you've expressed your interests, but I do feel obliged to inform you so you can decide with a better judgement," the doctor said. 

"Okay, I'm listening," Hijikata replied as he inserted a coin to get a pack of cigarettes. 

"There is someone who came to see me just now. It's about the parasitic amanto as well. Upon examining his DNA mark on his forearm, I thought I've already seen the same mark before, so I checked other records. I found your records and I have confirmed that you have matching DNA marks," 

He didn't expect it to go this smoothly in finding out who the other was. Wait, "just now"? Someone came to see Yamada-sensei after he left? Did he say, "his forearm"? So it's a guy then. 

"What's his name?" Hijikata asked. It will be easier once he knows the name. He'll just have to ask Yamazaki to investigate the person, and whatever he finds out will be the basis for his next actions. 

"Sakata Gintoki, sir. He came right after you left, so you must've seen him—"

"Wait, what?" His brain went into a sudden stasis hearing that name. There must be some mistake right? It can't be that bastard again! He should really go and get his ears checked. He's hearing things again. The next thing he knows he might be having a new persona besides Toshi. Oh wait, is this another cursed sword saga? He sure hoped it is. 

"Uh, Sakata Ginto—" okay, he's not going crazy or getting deaf. The damn world is. 

"Did you tell him about me?" Hijikata asked with urgency. Why of all people, it is the damn perm head?!

"Of course not, Hijikata-san. I have been informed of the situation. It appears that you're acquainted with Sakata-san already. This should be easier. Please inform me about your decision as soon as possible," the doctor said.

"Yes... Thank you, Yamada-sensei," Hijikata replied before ending the call. 

That stupid perm head! Official doctor, official date, official sugar check his ass! Now what?! Is he supposed to tell Gintoki?! Hell no! That bastard is going to make this even more difficult for both of them. Does he want to keep it? Apparently, he likes kids, but... With Hijikata as the one carrying it? If the perm wants to keep it then—wait, he and the perm?! He'd rather commit seppuku!

He needs that smoke. He took a strick and placed it in between his lips to light ut up with his mayonnaise shaped lighter. 

"You shouldn't be smoking, Hijikata-sama," a familiar voice made him pause. He looked over and saw Tama carrying some groceries. "It's bad for the baby."

Hijikata froze. How did she know?! 

"Uh ahaha what baby?" Hijikata faked a laugh, which is too obvious for his own liking. She's a robot, so she shouldn't realize it's that pathetic, right? 

"My scanner has detected a new life inside your body, Hijikata-sama. According to my data, it is what humans call pregnancy. I'm quite confused, because my data says that pregnancy occurs to women," Tama replied and Hijikata has no idea how to explain this to a cyborg. 

"He just ate a radioactive squid," a voice came in and suddenly, all the blood from Hijikata's face evacuated somewhere else in his body. 

Sougo grinned at him with his sadistic smile and Hijikata knew that it's going to be the end for him. 

"I see. I'll store it into my database. Please refrain from eating radioactive squid, Hijikata-sama. It will ruin your health. I'll go on my way now," Tama said before leaving Hijikata with the sadist. 

"I knew that something is off about you. You've been an inconvenience to Kondo-san. Everything makes sense now. Are you going to tell me who the father is, or I'm going to find out myself?"

"This is none of your business," Hijikata sighed, trying to light up the cigarette again until Sougo cut it into half with his sword. 

"Haven't you heard what she just said?" the sadistic samurai said innocently. "It's bad for the baby. Bad mommy."

"Why you little —"

"So now, what are you gonna do?"

Hijikata stared at him and sighed before giving his reply. "What do you want, Sougo? Why cover up for me?"

"So I'll be the only one who holds the ultimate blackmail for you,"

"That sounds just like you alright," Hijikata chuckled. 

"Are you going to keep it?" Sougo asked lightheartedly. 

"Why? You want me to?"

"Yeah. The news says there's a higher risk for males to pursue pregnancy, so that means you'll most probably die. I'd be happy to raise your child on your stead. He'll grow up into a great assassin number14."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! As if I'd leave my child on your hands!"

"Oh," Sougo drawled with a smug look on his face. "So you're gonna keep it?"

Hijikata paused and the thought came down on that again. He started to walk away since the talk with Sougo is getting harder to bend. 

"You're keeping assassin number 14, right?" Sougo followed him and kept up with his pace. 

"Don't give it a name!" Hijikata spat, "It's weird!"

"Oh come on. Don't be like that that now, Hijikata-san. You have to be nice to me if you expect me to keep your little secret," Sougo grinned mischievously and Hijikata can only count on more bad lucks to follow. 

 

 

 

 

That night, Gintoki got home late. As he was told, he came looking for the one with his matching DNA mark. The world is just not being easy for him. The doctor said that there are only 6 recorded cases in Edo. How on earth would he find the person with a matching mark?! If he's not lucky enough, that person didn't tell anyone yet and remained hidden. 

He doesn't even know how much more messed up this is going to turn out. He is not even sure if it's not an old hag or a happily married gramps owning an oden shop. His best shot is at least a married woman here. If he can push his luck, he prayed that it's his Ketsuno Ana. 

Gintoki needs a break. He already had an infant strife arc once with a baby left on his doorstep. This time he will have to find the unborn child before mommy will decide to abort the child. 

He did notice something off about the doctor though. He looked kind of surprised when he saw his DNA mark. He must've been hiding something, or else Gintoki will think that Yamada is staring at his DNA mark like that because it is actually a birthmark indicating that he's the chosen one who will save the world from it's demise. 

"Gin-san! Where have you been?! Otose-san came asking about —" Shinpachi held his tongue after seeing Gintoki's face. "Gin-san? Is something wrong?"

"Ah, Patsuan. You see, being an adult really is a pain. If you can't even pay your rent properly or buy parfait everyday, you should use condoms, or better yet buy an amanto parasite repellent," Gintoki said while removing his boots in the entrance. 

"Huh?" Shinpachi asked, his gaze followed Gintoki as he passed by him to get inside. "What are you talking about, Gin-san?"

"Where is Kagura?" Gintoki asked as he walked in. 

"Did you buy me something, Gin-chan?" Kagura asked. She's sitting on the couch while watching TV. 

Gintoki sat on the opposite couch and Shinpachi sat beside Kagura. He will have to tell the kids if he wants to find the other person faster. The kids will find out eventually either way. 

"Okay, I will have to say this to the two of you, so don't ask too many questions," Gintoki started. "Remember that news about the parasitic amanto that makes babies by stealing DNA's?" 

Kagura and Shinpachi exchanged glances. Somehow they think they knew where this is going. It's either they have another job request, or that...

"I knew it! Why didn't you tell us sooner?! We will still accept the homo you are gin-chan! You don't have to lie and use that amanto news an excuse for your homo ass!"

"I'm not gay! What on earth are you two thinking?!"

"Well, you're obviously not pregnant. Why would we even use that news as a poor excuse, you homo," Kagura grimaced. "You think we didn't notice?! You kept on looking at that Mayora with disgusting eyes in the victory party!" Karuga pointed her finger at Gintoki accusingly.

Gintoki begrudgingly remembered that victory party where he had another drinking contest with the vice-commander of the Shinsengumi. That ended with feet kicking under the table until it turned into playing gay chicken. He didn't even remember how it ended up like that. His only luck is that Hijikata was too piss drunk that he didn't remember anything after losing the drinking contest. Not that Hijikata actually admitted defeat.

"That's right, gin-san," Shinpachi replied as he fixed his glasses, as if he just solved a murder case. "You were very suspicious back then,"

"I told you, I was drunk! There's no way in hell that I like that Mayora!" 

The yorozuya kids gave him a bored face, saying that they don't believe a single word about his explanation. He sighed and scrached his head in annoyance. Why is he explaining himself all over again and again?! 

"I'm going to be a dad," Gintoki said. "That is, if the mother of my child won't decide to abort the baby before I can find them."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the typos  
> This story is an idea way back last year because I haven't read enough ginhiji mpreg, so I decided to write one. I just didn't have the guts to actually do it. 
> 
> I'm really overwhelmed by the feedback and all the kudos. I actually didn't expect anything from this story because I'm just a no name writer. Thank you!!! Reading all your comments inspired me. I kinda ditched my thesis and all the papers that I need to check and record for my internship for a while.  
> ヽ（´∀｀）ノ  
> Don't worry, I've got it. I'll graduate *nervous laughter*


	3. Strawberry Milk is Good for Babies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What?! Why does everything have to do with this?!"
> 
> "Bad mommy," Sougo drawled. "I wonder what Danna will say if he knew you're still trying to smoke during your pregnancy,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the typos

"So... Uh, that's how it is," Hijikata said, concluding his explanation about his situation. 

He's talking with Kondo in the Shinsengumi commander's office with Sougo looming around the corner of the room. Hijikata decided to tell Kondo before Sougo can or else the news will spread like forest fire and the next thing he knows, everyone in Edo is congratulating him for the news. 

No, he cannot afford that kind of situation. That's why he's trying to get things in order, since he somehow decided of what to do for now. 

"I see," Kondo replied with a serious note as he closed his eyes and slightly lolled his head forward. 

Hijikata suddenly felt nervous about it. He gulped with a cold sweat as he tried inquiring if Kondo actually understood what he's been saying, "Ahno, Kondo-san?"

"I'M GOING TO BE AN UNCLE, TOSHI!" kondo suddenly bursted into tears and gave a gorilla grip of a hug to Hijikata's waist. 

"Shut your mouth, Kondo-san! The entire barracks will hear you! What the hell! Get off!" Hijikata tried pushing his commander away, yet the gorilla grip is too tight. 

"Hello?? Are you okay in there?? I'm uncle Kondo!" Kondo didn't budge and placed his ears against Hijikata's belly. 

"Stop it Kondo-san. It can't hear you," Hijikata said, though trying to get a grip of himself. Kondo stinks of sweat and a really unpleasant Kondo smell that he didn't use to mind before. It really makes him feel nauseous. 

"Assassin number 14 is going to get hurt if you keep of hugging him like that, Kondo-san," Sougo finally spoke with his usual monotonous tone. 

Kondo finally let go and wiped his tears. "Sorry, Toshi. I was really just carried away,"

"Uh, it's okay, Kondo-san," Hijikata suddenly felt awkward seeing kondo sobbing so ungracefully. He knows that Kondo can be overly dramatic at times, but he didn't expect that he'd react like this towards the news.

"It's just that—" Kondo said in between his sobs. "I'm really happy for you, Toshi!"

"I'm — I uh," crap, Hijikata has no idea of what to say. 

"You should really be more careful from now on, okay? Effective on this day, you're all in paperwork,"

"WHAT?!" 

"This is for your own good, Toshi. We can't afford you walking around in that condition. It must be taking a toll in your body, isn't it? What if you'll get ambushed by joi rebels? You're not in your usual mind and body. Defending yourself won't be as easy. We can't risk that."

"I can see that, but Kondo-san, I'm still fine. Besides, I didn't say that I'm keeping it."

"You're not?" Kondo asked with a confused face then he bursted out laughing the next second. "Come on Toshi. You won't say that to me if you actually planned abortion."

Hijikata froze and he realized that he did decide about keeping it somewhere along the lines. He glanced at Sougo who gave him his sadistic smile and he can only sigh in defeat. 

"Fine, I just want to ask one thing, Kondo-san," Hijikata said. 

"What is it, Toshi?"

"I would like this to remain as a secret between us. At least for the time being," Hijikata asked. 

Before Kondo can even voice out his full approval, he was cut out when Sougo spoke as he walked towards the door. 

"I think it's too late for that, Hijikata-san," Sougo said as he pulled the door open. All the shinsengumi troops fell on the floor face down. It was quite a stampede and the sight clicked a fuse inside Hijikata Toshirou's system. 

"IT'S SEPPUKU FOR ALL OF YOU!!!!"

 

.

.

.

 

Days have passed and Gintoki is out of luck. He did went back to the doctor and he still won't talk. Hijikata has been out of sight too. Gintoki haven't seen him since that encounter at the hospital. He did seem suspicious, but he doesn't want to give Kagura and Shinpachi more reason to think that he's gay for Hijikata. That's the last thing he needs right now. 

Hijikata looked like he knew something though. No one from the hospital staff wanted to talk about the nature of Hijikata's visit and it only made Gintoki's suspicions worse. Their bickering didn't even last long that day in the hospital. He looked pale and sick too, so Gintoki let him slide off with the last word. What's wrong with that bastard? 

He scratched his head with a click in the tongue. Where is that guy when you look for him?! He pops around everytime Gintoki doesn't want to see him and now he's nowhere to be seen? 

"No luck?" Otose asked the sulking perm early in the morning in her snack bar. "Get that depressing face out of here. Your miserable life could be contagious."

"The hell, old hag! You're supposed to comfort me! Make me feel better, damn it!"

"If you're gonna stay that miserable, your unborn child should be lucky enough not being born to meet you as a parent," Otose spat. 

"Hey, that's beyond a joke right there! Don't take it too personal!" Gintoki complained. 

"Then don't take it personal too, you useless bum. Go out there and try looking for a stable job and maybe you can face your kid with some pride," Otose said. 

Gintoki grumbled something unintillegible and stumped off to the streets. He knows that Otose means well. He's just disappointed about how everything is not going anywhere. Maybe he's really the problem. 

He tried asking almost everyone he knows, which is almost the entire Edo, yet there is still no luck. Well, almost everyone except the people in the Shinsengumi. They've been hard to get in touch these days. He did find some of them, but not one of the usual bunch with the big names. Not even Yamazaki has been in sight. 

"Looks like you're so stressed, Danna," he heard the familiar monotonous tone and sure enough, it was Sougo. 

The fellow sadist is unusually not slacking off today. Looks like he's actually having his rounds, making Gintoki notice something more suspicious. 

"Oh, Souichirou-kun," Gintoki walked towards him. "Where is the Mayora? I haven't seen him around. Did you finally finish the job?"

"I wish, Danna. But you see, Hijikata-san is useful as of the moment. It's more fun watching him suffer."

"That's new," Gintoki said, because it IS new. Sougo never says anything positive about Hijikata. "How is he useful to you now?"

"As a freak show," 

"I didn't know being a freak show will appear like you went into hiding. Where have you guys been?" 

"I didn't notice you being blind, Danna. I was under the impression that you can see me doing my rounds right now," Sougo gave another sarcastic reply. 

"And the Mayora? Isn't he supposed to be with you?" Gintoki pressed the question, noticing that Sougo is dodging around the bullets. 

"You see Danna, Hijikata-san is busy about Assassin number 14 as of the moment, so he really won't be around much,"

"Assassin number 14?" Gintoki wondered. Has there been a new tsujigiri around? He haven't heard anything like that. 

"That's right, Danna. It took everyone's attention even without being seen. At least not yet,"

"Well, you better do your job properly, tax robbers. Speaking about doing your job properly, help a citizen in need here, won't you, officer-kun?"

"I wish I have the time, Danna, but you see, everyone is really busy because of Assassin number 14. I should really head back to do my part in the case. Good luck with whatever you are busy about."

"Oh come on! Don't give me that could shoulder now, Okita-kun. Gin-san is really in a pinch, you see?"

"I can't promise you anything really, Danna. The Shinsengumi's top priority today is Assassin number —"

"Have you seen anyone with this mark?" Gintoki is losing his patience and pressed the picture to Sougo's face while carefully observing the fellow sadist's reaction. 

Sougo gave another blank stare at the photo, but didn't give away any reaction. The only suspicious detail is that he stared at it longer than the usual.  
"Don't tell me you're one of those stupid people who got their DNA stolen, Danna. That's very careless of you. What a shame."

"Shut up! It's not like— so you DO have an idea?!"

"Ah, I wonder about that. Oh just look at the time. I should really go, Danna." Sougo said with an overly dramatic voice as he turned around to walk away. 

"Okita-kun, Okita-kun? Tell Gin-san about it, ne?" Gintoki said in a hushed tone, trying to keep Sougo from leaving. 

"I may look like a guy with a lot of free time, but being a captain of the first division is reeeaaallly a lot of work. Don't make it, so hard on yourself, Danna. I know you'd never understand, being jobless and all," Sougo said with an overly dramatic tone.

"Oi! That hurts, you jerk! I do have a job!" Gintoki spat back, but the young captain of the shinsengumi was already out of sight. "Oi! Okita-kuuun??"

That does it. Sougo obviously knows something, or he likes to make Gintoki think that the does know something. Either way, it's even more suspicious. That sadist really knows his stuff. 

It really isn't his year. He then decided to comfort himself with a parfait. It did somehow lift his mood. He was eating peacefully until he noticed the new customer who entered, and his grin grew wide. His parfait was really doing wonders. His luck was totally changing. If Sougo won't talk, this guy would. 

"Yo, Jimmy-kun," he walked towards Yamazaki, who just received the strawberry cake that he ordered for a takeout. 

"Danna, I didn't expect to see you here," Yamazaki said, genuinely surprised to see Gintoki as he was about to make it out of the cafe. 

"Neither did I," Gintoki replied, eyeing his grocery bags. "That looks heavy. Let me help you."

"You don't have to, Danna—" Before Yamazaki can stop him, he already examined the contents of the grocery bag. "Danna! Put those back!"

"I didn't know you're into strawberry cake and strawberry milk instead of anpan now, Jimmy," Gintoki said with suspicion (accusation) painted all over his features. 

"I-it's not mine, of course, Danna. I just had to get this for someone, that's all," Yamazaki smiled, trying not to get affected by Gintoki's intimidating aura. 

"Ah, I see I see," Gintoki said, proceeding to walk with Yamazaki. 

Yamazaki sighed in relief, thinking its over, only to hear Gintoki talk again. "So, where is your vice-commander?"

"Ah, fukuchou has been busy with a lot of things, Danna," Yamazaki replied, hoping Gintoki would spare him with the questions. 

Hijikata will kill him the moment the word goes out of his mouth. Everyone has been keeping a low profile since Hijikata literally attempted to disembowel everyone caught eavesdropping. If anyone finds out about Hijikata's condition, they're all as good as dead. 

"Yes, I heard he's been busy with Assassin number 14,"

"Eh?!" Yamazaki asked, completely baffled. "How did you know about number 14, Danna?"

"Of course, who do you think I am?" Gintoki replied, confident that he got Yamazaki in the palm of his hands. 

"As expected of you, Danna. The barracks has never been the same since we found out about number 14," Yamazaki vented out, finally feeling safe around Gintoki, thinking that he already knows after all. 

"Eh? Why?" Gintoki wondered. Is that case that stressful to handle? No wonder Hijikata never showed up lately. 

"Fukuchou has been really cranky all the time and really sensitive about the smell. He even pukes with the smell if his favorite mayonnaise," Yamazaki said. 

"Eh?" Gintoki's mind is trying to catch up while Yamazaki continued his rants. 

"Can you believe that, Danna? It's mayonnaise! I swear I caught him crying when he puked his breakfast when he attempted to eat it. He's so stubborn and still wants to eat it. Thanks to that, he emptied his stomach again. It's been like this. It's hard to find something he can keep down,"

"That sure is very dramatic," Gintoki gave a side comment, yet kept it small, not wanting to stop Yamazaki from spilling more information.

"This too," Yamazaki continued complaining as they walk to the barracks. "He keeps on asking to buy these things. I have to stock a lot of these strawberry milks because one time, he beat me up for forgetting to buy one. It was four in the morning! He was just so mad that he found the fridge empty! He even makes me run in the middle of the night just get his this strawberry shortcake."

Everything was starting to click in Gintoki's head and he suddenly fell silent with his dead eyes set in front of him, staring at nothing in particular as they continued to walk. 

"I may be complaining a lot right now, but I'm actually happy doing this and buying things he wants to eat. It's satisfying to see a different side of fukuchou when he happily eats the food we got for him," Yamazaki's tone started to change, and Gintoki didn't have to look at his face to confirm that he's troubled. "Everyone has been worried. The doctor said that his body is adjusting to the changes that the parasite is causing him. If he will still pursue number 14, the doctor said that there is a 60% chance of him dying."

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Hijikata woke up with another headache and nausea kicked in. Not long enough, that earned him a trip to greet the usual good morning to toilet-san. 

What time is it again? Did he wake up before Sougo's surprise bomb? After washing up his face, he looked for anything unusual in his room. There are no traces of bombs, but he felt that something has been missing. He looked over his working table and confirmed his speculation. 

With a click of his tongue, he began searching for it in his room without a sheer luck. 

"Hijikata-san, Kondo-san told me to confiscate your cigarettes, so don't bother looking for them," Sougo's annoying voice came inside his room, and Hijikata knew why there wasn't a good morning bomb today. The bastard found another way to piss him off. 

"What?! Why does everything have to do with this?!"

"Bad mommy," Sougo drawled. "I wonder what Danna will say if he knew you're still trying to smoke during your pregnancy,"

Hijikata froze with a cold sweat trickling down his face. Of course the bastard will eventually know. 

"Did you threaten the doctor?" Hijikata gave it up and slumped on his chair. 

"Oh. So is it IS Danna," Sougo gave an astonished drawl. 

"You bastard! I THOUGHT YOU ALREADY FOUND OUT!"

"Relax, mommy. Assassin number 14 will get stressed too. I was just pushing my luck since Danna asked me help to find someone with the same DNA mark. I tried checking yours when you're asleep, but I haven't seen it. Looks like it's on your wrist huh. You were using it as a pillow. Oh well, you admitted it already, so that's better," Sougo said with a monotonous tone. 

"Why you little prick!"

"Rise and shine, Toshi!" Kondo came storming inside his room. 

"Ah, Kondo-san?"

"It's noon. Harada tried to cook something for you, hoping that you can keep that down," Kondo said with a bright smile. 

He knows that they have been worried whenever he makes an appointment with toilet-san. The other day, he wasn't able to keep anything down because he kept on attempting to put mayonnaise on his food until his appetite was gone. 

Good thing the cravings are saving his empty stomach in the middle of the evening. Insert a beat up Yamazaki, tired of the late night errands he was demanded to go in the double. 

"Okay, I'll go in a sec, Kondo-san."

He did keep the food down, somehow since he was forced not to use mayonnaise anymore. Even just the smell makes him puke, so Sougo purged the shinsengumi barracks to be mayonnaise free the same day. 

People may almost think that he's doing it for Hijikata's sake until they see Sougo's face while watching Hijikata's horrified features. Sougo sure did enjoy the view of Hijikata watching his mayonnaise being exorcised. 

Hijikata may not have noticed, but he's been keeping Sougo around more than usual. Whenever the sadist is out of his sight, Hijikata will immediately ask about the brat's whereabouts. Sougo is not complaining too. He stays with Hijikata in most of his free time and even when he's slacking off from work. He takes it as an opportunity to harass Hijikata more, though not physically. His bomb threats were far over.

 

.

 

.

 

Hijikata woke up in the sound of rowdy noises. He didn't realize he fell asleep while doing his paperwork. He feels too exhausted even without doing anything. He called out for Sougo and when he didn't receive a response, he phoned Yamazaki. His head hurts, so he decided not to yell. 

Seeing his phone screen, he's surprised that he slept all the way until sundown. He feels alienated with his own body at some point. He doesn't even know if he still knows this body anymore. Everything is almost out of place. 

"Fukuchou?" Yamazaki called out behind his closed door. "You called?"

"Where is Sougo?" Hijikata said with a raspy voice and stood up to head out of his room. 

"In the canteen— ah! You can't go there yet!" Yamazaki suddenly said, surprised to see Hijikata open his door to head out. 

"Why? What is that bastard doing again? Burning more of my holy mayonnaise?" That made Hijikata more determined to go there now. 

"But, fukuchou! It's messy! Really! You don't want to be stressed out, right?" Yamazaki tried to convince the vice-commander. 

"What about dinner?" Hijikata inquired. 

"Oh, that. We have eaten already and—"

"Oh you're up, Toshi!" here comes the ever enthusiastic Kondo again. He took Hijikata's shoulders and gently ushered him to the canteen. "Come! You must be starving!" 

Hijikata saw a glimpse of Yamazaki's horrified face before he saw the commotion in the kitchen as he made his spot in the canteen. 

There making a ruckus in the kitchen is Gintoki and Sougo. Hijikata suddenly wanted to bolt out and run, but then Kondo sat beside him and wrapped his arm around Hijikata's shoulders. 

"Gin-san! Toshi is here!" Kondo called out, and Hijikata just wanted to turn into another entity right there. Being a yokai sounds very interesting right now. 

Gintoki glanced at them and so did Sougo. The perm head is wearing a pink apron, making Hijikata confused of what he's trying to do there. 

He was thankful that Kondo didn't press about who the other parent is, trusting that Hijikata will tell them in his own terms in the near future, but that near future wasn't meant to be this very moment. 

"What is that asshole doing here?!" Hijikata demanded an explanation from his commander. 

"Gin-san prepared you dinner, Toshi!" Kondo replied with pure bliss. "Isn't that so nice of him?"

"Ha?" Hijikata suddenly wondered. Why? 

"Come on, Toshi. Don't be like that. Gin-san was really kind he cooked a delicious dinner just for you!"

Whatever Hijikata was trying to retaliate against Kondo, it died in his throat when he saw Gintoki walking over and placed the said dinner on Hijikata's table. Everything looked mouth watering from the side dishes to the main dish, that he almost forgot that he should be alarmed by the proximity by now. After all, Sakata Gintoki is standing right at him on the opposite side of the table, staring holes at him. 

 

"Yo, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki greets with his same dead fish eyes. The said eyes stared at Hijikata's belly, and Hijikata has never felt so nervous and overly conscious before. "Konbanwa, number 15. This handsome guy right here is daddy,"

 

Hijikata swore he heard a rumble of footsteps more than the feet of the the people present in the canteen. He didn't bother about it much when his heart is pounding louder than a drum roll in announcing the winner during coronation in beauty pageants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, he said 15. It's not a typo. You'll know why soon. Drop your thoughts in the comment section! Feedback and kudos are highly appreciated!   
>  I'll see you in the next chapter!


	4. Dads Get to Name Their Kids.. probably?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> "GET— THE— FUCK— OUT!" 
> 
>  
> 
>  _"Okay, wrong words. Nice job, Mouth,"_ Gintoki thought and mentally slapped his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was reluctant in posting this because I'm not very satisfied with this chapter and my friend kinda caught me in my account here. I hope you'd enjoy anyway

Hijikata Toshirou wants to die, right fucking now, and turn into a literal demon, then haunt everyone in this room.

Still completely at a loss and baffled, his nausea is a great excuse to leave right now. He'd rather face toilet-san all day than deal with this. 

"What are you staring at? You like what you see?" Gintoki smirked and that's Hijikata's cue to turn his frown into a glare. 

"What are you trying to do here?" Hijikata asked, accusingly. 

"Feeding number 15," Gintoki replied. "I heard you can barely keep anything down. Number 15 sure is a picky eater. That's not good."

"Who—"

"I told you, Danna. It's Assassin number 14," Sougo cut in. 

"Don't give my kid names. It's daddy's job okay, Okita-kun? Daddy Gin-san will handle the naming."

"That's unfair, Danna." Sougo complained with a murderous aura. "Hijikata-san agreed that I'll raise Assassin number 14 when he dies."

"I didn't agree about anything," Hijikata said, though he's completely ignored. 

"If you wanna name one so badly, go knock someone up. Oh, that's right. Little Sou-kun is too young for that. I'll get you puppies, 'kay? You're free to name them Assassin number 14 until 50. I don't care."

"Oho? So that's how you got Hijikata-san pregnant? How shameless, Danna. Are you that unpopular with women that you had to knock up a guy instead?"

 

"SHUT UP!" Hijikata yelled, effectively shutting them up. "I can't believe this! Yorozuya, we have to talk. Privately," he added the last word with a glare to the eavesdroppers who immediately dispersed in a flash. 

"As much as I would like to say 'fucking finally!', we can do that later. Eat your dinner. It will get cold," Gintoki said. 

"Ah.. That's right! Eat up, Toshi!" Kondo said, breaking the tension of the staring/glaring contest. 

Hijikata gave it up and listened to his superior . He began to eat, and found the food undeniably delicious. It tasted better than it looked. He continued eating, oblivious of the soft smile even Gintoki is unaware he's giving. 

Sougo caught a glimpse of it, not expecting the yorozuya boss to give off that kind of expression either. His amused face was suddenly replaced with a menacing look and stealthily took a picture. 

"So it's Gin-san, huh? I've been wondering when you're going to tell me about you guys, Toshi!"

"What?" Hijikata wondered, looking at Kondo. 

"Come on! I've had a feeling about you two since your sweet time during the victory party," Kondo replied. 

"Victory party?" Hijikata's brows furrowed tighter.

"Remember? That victory party, right Gin-san?" Kondo glanced at Gintoki and the silver head samurai does not like where this is going. "That time when you're trying to ki—"

"OOOH Oogushi-kun is done eating! We should talk privately now, right?" Gintoki sprang off from his seat and hurriedly took Hijikata with him. 

"What the hell, damn perm head?!" Hijikata complained and freed himself from Gintoki as soon as they were away. 

"Yeah, so about number 15," Gintoki started and Hijikata started walking to his room. 

"Get in. I didn't mean talking in the hallway when I said privately, stupid perm."

"Hey stop insulting Gin-san's perm! It's not doing anything against you!" Gintoki protested while following Hijikata inside his room. "And you should stop that foul language right there. Number 15 is going to get bad habits from you!"

 

"Can you shut up for a second?!" Hijikata exclaimed. He sighed and took a seat. Gintoki did the same right in front of him and Hijikata spoke again. "So, let's get down on business. Why are you here?" Hijikata asked, fighting the urge to have a smoke. 

"Because you told me to get in," Gintoki replied with his annoying dead fish eyes again. 

"What the hell, damn perm head?! Answer the question properly!" Hijikata snapped for the nth time.

"Okay, chill Mayora. I should be the one angry right now."

"Angry?" Hijikata asked, and Gintoki didn't reply. Hijikata followed his gaze and found out that the perm head is doing it again. Staring at his stomach. "What are you staring at? You want me to dig your eyes out?"

Gintoki didn't budge and not a single response came out of his mouth for the next few seconds, irking Hijikata more by each passing second. 

"That looks like mine," he finally spoke. 

Hijikata flinched. His breath hitched and he immediately avoided eye contact. The wall looks pretty interesting as of the moment. "'tis not! How would it look like yours?! It doesn't have a strand of perm!"

"Oi oi! You can't be sure about that! I'm pretty sure if I strip that down It's not as silky shiny straight as you V bangs!"

"You bastard! Why are we talking about me?!" Hijikata glanced at him with a flushed face. Gintoki would like to believe that it's out of embarrassment and not anger. It looks too adorable to be one of his temper outbursts. 

"Eh? I'm talking about your Hijikata jun—" Hijikata stood up and unsheathed his katana. It almost looked hot if only he's not wearing murder on his face. 

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! IT'S A JOKE! I MEANT THE BABY! I'm talking about the baby Hijikata-kun!" Gintoki pleaded for his life. Normally, he wouldn't do that and immediately fight Hijikata back, but he can't exactly brawl with a pregnant.. man, can he? Plus, he's carrying his child. 

"C-calm down Hijikata-kun. Here, have a strawberry milk," Gintoki offered the strawberry milk he slipped into his kimono. He might've stolen one while helping Yamazaki, yet it seemed like a great idea, considering how Hijikata immediately forgot about attempting to murder him. Mood swings can be handy from time to time. 

Hijikata glared and took the box of strawberry milk like it's the most normal thing to do and drank it in one go. Gintoki didn't know how to feel about seeing Hijikata like this. Should he be relieved that his life was spared, be worried about his strawberry supply, or be happy that Hijikata can at least appreciate his food preference this time? All of the above seemed present in his state of mind. 

"So... About the kid," Gintoki slowly began, seeing as Hijikata seems clam this time. 

"It's not yours. The other parent died committing seppuku because it's the best thing to do, " Hijikata immediately answered with a voice too pathetically obvious to be called out as a lie. 

 

"Seriously, you think you can deny that it's mine after chugaluging all that strawberry milk?"

"Strawberry milk has nothing to do with this. I just heard it's good for the baby," another pathetic lie. 

"You knew it was me all along, didn't you?" Gintoki sighed. "Why not tell me? What's wrong with you? That's my kid too."

"I can take care of it. I'm keeping it, whether you like it or not," Hijikata finally dropped the act, seeing as it is not working. 

"Whether I like it or not? I would want to say that I'm glad you decided to keep it, but did you just imply that I don't have a say in this?"

"I would've told you about it before if you have."

Of course, Hijikata have thought it all over. He knows that Gintoki is just willing to put up with it because it is his child. He's going to take responsibility because it is his kid. Hijikata knows Gintoki hates his guts, so he's just dealing with it because he doesn't have a choice. Hijikata is the one carrying his child. 

After all that, then what? Gintoki takes the kid, and he's left with what? Gintoki knows how to take care of kids. He's a more of a family guy than Hijikata will ever be. 

"Oh yeah? And why is that?" Gintoki protested angrily. "Because you have a stable income, which I don't have, so I won't be necessary in having something to do with my own kid?!"

"You will have to walk over my dead body before you can have your kid. Don't worry, it's just a matter of months before that can happen," Hijikata said. "Scratch that. Sougo won't go down without a fight."

"Why are you being so difficult about this?!"

"I'm doing you a favor. I'll take care of the kid while it's in me. You don't have to feel obligated with me."

"Look, as much as we're both concerned, WE are BOTH obliged to take responsibility here. I'm doing my best here even with empty pockets, because I'm pretty sure you've got the money covered, since you're scrubbing that fact hard against my face."

"And after that, what?" Hijikata growled. "After playing the taking responsibility part with me, then what?"

"Are you actually afraid of me taking the kid away?" Gintoki said, starting to calm down. 

Hijikata didn't bother answering and stood up, attempting to leave. Gintoki immediately grabbed his arm, effectively stopping him from doing so. 

"I'm not going anywhere. If you want the kid to stay with you, then fine. That's only fair since you will be the one enduring all the changes in your body. All I'm asking is the right with my kid too. Please."

For a moment, Hijikata just stood there motionless and not even giving Gintoki a glance. Gintoki grew more anxious, yet still planning to be stubbornly persistent if Hijikata is still going to be difficult about it. 

"I'm not going to take a no as an answer. I'll stalk you everyday. I'll watch your every move to ensure that my child is doing fine. I'll watch you eat, watch you in your sleep, watch you take a piss, take a dump, take a—"

"SHUT UP! That's far too creepy!" Hijikata growled at him and Gintoki tightened his grip on Hijikata's arm on instinct, thinking that Hijikata might either hit him or storm out. He wouldn't want that. Plus, he's pretty much enjoying the view of Hijikata's flushed face. 

"My point is, I'm going to be here whether you like it or not. Number 15 is half my DNA. I'm daddy here." Gintoki said, on a serious tone and determined eyes, earning the chance of meeting Hijikata's gaze. Hijikata's frown started to soften and he avoided Gintoki's gaze again. Another moment of silence and Gintoki grew impatient with anxiousness. 

"Hijikata-kun?"

 

"I'm pretty sure he's been called 14."

 

Eh? 

 

"Not you too! I'm the Daddy, am I not? He's 15! Fifteen!" Gintoki complained. 

"If you plan on sticking around, I was expecting you're going to give a better name," Hijikata sighed, pulling his arm back before leaving the room. 

"Are you saying yes?" Gintoki immediately got up on his feet and went after Hijikata who fled back to his room. "I can stick around?"

"It's late. I'm tired. Go home!" Hijikata said, slamming the door shut at Gintoki's face, "... You can just come back tomorrow."

Gintoki's face immediately lit up. He took that as his first victory in this another version of baby strife. He stepped back to head out but then he saw Sougo's menacing face, so he painted the usual dead fish eyes look on his face in retaliation. 

"Looks like we'll be seeing each other a lot, Okita-kun," Gintoki said with a pinky in his nose. 

"Ah, I see. I hope you won't expect things to go smoothly, Danna."

"Sougo?" they heard Hijikata say inside his room and Sougo gave a smug look, as if declaring a victory the moment he imposed a challenge. 

"Yeah it's me, Hijikata-san," Sougo called out. "Oh, you should be going, Danna. I'm just gonna help Hijikata-san to bed, 'coz you know, it looks like I'm Assassin number 14's favorite person."

 

 

.

.

 

"Can you believe that?! They've been calling my kid with that stupid name thanks to him!" Gintoki ranted out the same lines for the nth time since he got home. 

"You're frustrated about Okita-san sticking around too much around 14-kun. We get it! Stop saying the same thing all over again! It's like watching the same stupid add for the last 60 minutes!" Shinpachi finally snapped. He's had enough of his employer's repeated complaints. 

"You don't get it, Patsuan! You should've seen it when he's making it look like— What the hell is his problem?! He's declaring war against a war veteran! It's number 15! FIFTEEN!"

"I don't see how 15 is better than 14. Both sounds ... Why do you want to call your baby that again?"

"Do your Maths, Patsuan! 15 is obviously greater than 14!" Gintoki argued back in frustration.

"That's right aru! Baka megane! Glasses characters are supposed to be the smart ones!" Kagura butted in. 

"If you're going at that, why not choose 1 million, you idiot!" Shinpachi

"That's right, Gin-chan! It's really your perm's fault that you're that dumb! We can't leave the naming to you after all! Poor baby Nine Hundred Ninety-nine Million, Nine Hundred ninety-nine Thousand, Nine Hundred Ninety-nine (999,999,999)!!!" Kagura turned to the other side. 

"You traitor! Weren't you supposed to be on my side?! And don't give that stupid name! That's too long and repetitive!" Gintoki yelled back.

"Stop it, you two!" Shinpachi is the one trying to settle things again. "Why would you give a name like that in the first place, Gin-san?"

"That's right! Nine Hundred Ninety-nine Million, Nine Hundred ninety-nine Thousand, Nine Hundred Ninety-nine isn't that bad aru!"

"I told you, it's stupid, repetitive, and long!"

"Then give your baby something that sounds more like a name! Not a secret agent's alias!"

 

_"If you plan on sticking around, I was expecting you're going to give a better name,"_

 

Gintoki's features softened and it made Shinpachi wonder what he's about to say again this time to retaliate. To his surprise, at some point, Gintoki relented and said, "I get it, I'll think of something better, but for now, I refuse to let my unborn child get called by a name I didn't give," 

"Gin-chan! Mother wants a granddaughter! And a granddaughter it should be!" Kagura demanded. 

"A boy or a girl, it doesn't matter. As long as it's mine, it's mine," Gintoki said, scratching his head.

"But isn't that good Gin-san? At least it's Hijikata-san we're talking about. We shouldn't be that worried." Shinpachi said, gearing another spring in action inside Gintoki's mind. 

 

_"The doctor said that his body is adjusting to the changes that the parasite is causing him. If he will still pursue number 14, the doctor said that there is a 60% chance of him dying."_

_"You will have to walk over my dead body before you can have your kid. Don't worry, it's just a matter of months before that can happen,"_

 

Gintoki wouldn't exactly say he shouldn't be worried after hearing Hijikata say it himself. The bastard is actually betting on the probability of dying! 

 

After that 'walk a talk' with Yamazaki, it took him sometime to think everything over. Yes, he wants them to keep the kid, but will Hijikata be okay? He will really understand if Hijikata decided to choose abortion instead, thinking things over practically, but the talk only showed how much determined Hijikata is to keep the baby. 

"Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked, noticing Gintoki spaced out somewhere in between the conversation. "Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah? What was that?"

"I was just asking about the job tomorrow," Shinpachi asked, pausing a bit before adding, "Just this once, we'll let you get things fixed with Hijikata-san. Kagura-chan and I can handle the job for tomorrow."

"Whaat?! I wanna see number 15 too aru!" Kagura protested. 

"You won't be able to see anything yet, Kagura. Hijikata is not even showing any sign of a baby bump just yet," Gintoki said pretty accurately, remembering it clearly well after giving it a good long stare. How old was the baby again? Great, he forgot to ask about that. Damn he's got a hell of questions to ask. 

"Whaat? Aren't pregnant mommies supposed to have big tummies? Is that because Mayora is a guy?" Kagura asked, being terribly confused. 

"Yeah, yeah, let's settle with that," Gintoki dismissed the case. It should do it for now. 

"Don't teach her lies like that Gin-san!" Shinpachi protested. "Anyway, it's getting late. I should be home. I'll come here tomorrow to pick you up Kagura-chan."

 

Shinpachi left and Kagura continued watching TV. Gintoki was left alone with his thoughts again. He stood up and headed to the kitchen and opened the fridge. It barely has anything and he saw a box of his strawberry milk. 

 

_"He keeps on asking to buy these things. I have to stock a lot of these strawberry milks because one time, he beat me up for forgetting to buy one."_

 

Gintoki sighed, remembering what Yamazaki said made him glance back at the clock. Hijikata should be asleep by now. Yamazaki bought a lot, so he should be fine. A sudden image of Hijikata chugging a box of strawberry milk made him smile. Yamazaki is right. It's a blissful feeling to see Hijikata eat satisfyingly something he prepared. He looked kind of adorable— What the hell? Did he just think that? It's his kid. His kid looked adorable. Hiskid is the one who likes strawberry milk, not Hijikata. 

"What are you smiling about, Gin-chan? That's really creepy, aru," Kagura threw him a disgusted look and the smile was immediately wiped out of his face. 

"You should know that joyful moment to be reassured that you still have a strawberry milk in the fridge, Kagura," Gintoki waved his hand, hoping that Kagura won't press on it longer. 

Thankfully, her attention drifted away somewhere with her drowsiness. She made her way to the closet and Gintoki went to his own room afterwards. 

He wonders what he should cook Hijikata for breakfast. He heard Hijikata has been oversleeping too much lately then say good morning to toilet-san first thing in the morning. What time should he cook then? He's not exactly an early riser himself either, but he wants Hijikata to eat something warm for breakfast. 

He halted from his thoughts and suddenly wondered why is he trying so hard. It's Hijikata he's dealing with! Ah, that's right, he has his kid. His kid should be healthy. This is all for his unborn child, and it just so happened that Hijikata was the one carrying his seed. 

 

.

.

.

 

 

Hijikata Toshirou woke up with another awful headache and nausea. He can never get used to waking up every morning feeling like he's having a hangover. 

It's surprisingly peaceful today despite his throbbing headache. He checked his calendar and realized that it's the day for the stakeout. Most of the guys are probably out. He isn't there, so he assumed that Sougo must've stepped up. 

He managed to get himself fixed and look at the time before the body clock hit his system again and he knew that it's about time to greet toilet-san a good morning. 

The nasty feeling is too hard to get used to. He continued to vomit unidentifiable liquids when he heard the door open. Maybe Sougo stayed after all and asked Kondo to go instead, canceling his usual stalking routine with Otae. 

"You look like a mess," Hijikata cursed underneath his breath. That's right, he almost forgot. This idiot already knows. 

"What are you doing here, damn perm head?" Hijikata glared at him, though it doesn't look as intimidating with his watery eyes.

"I'm sticking around, remember?" Gintoki replied and Hijikata can only grunt with disapproval. "Aren't you done yet?"

"GET— THE— FUCK— OUT!" 

 

 _"Okay, wrong words. Nice job, Mouth,"_ Gintoki thought and mentally slapped his face. 

"Come on, I'm sure puke isn't any better than shit. The toilet doesn't appreciate your daily deposit."

"I wouldn't want to be here either! Get out! I don't want to see your—" Hijikata lashed out again, stopping in the middle of his words to puke his guts out again. 

Gintoki sighed. He had no idea how to deal with this. The usual exchange of insult and bickering doesn't sound good as of the moment. He hates the sight before him too. It looks painful even just to look at. Now he understands what Yamazaki is troubled about. He was actually thinking that Hijikata will at least be distracted and feel more anger than nausea. Apparently, that didn't work. 

"I'll make something for you to drink. Let's just hope that will make you feel better, and less cranky," Gintoki said, retreating to the kitchen. 

He's lucky enough that the other sadist is not around. It's easy to convince Kondo to leave Hijikata to him, but Sougo is a different story. He insisted on staying (to mess with him most likely) in the barracks saying that they can't trust a former joi patriot to freely roam around the Shinsengumi. Thankfully, Kondo did not buy it, trusting Gintoki enough. Why wouldn't he with all the things they've been through?

"Drink this," Gintoki handed Hijikata the tea he prepared. The raven eyed it cautiously and it earned a frown on Gintoki's face. 

"What? You think I'd poison my kid?" Gintoki raised an eyebrow. 

"No thanks. I prefer coffee." Hijikata glared back. 

"No. This is better for number 15. You're already too fidgety as it is. Your system won't appreciate more caffeine," Gintoki replied, forcing Hijikata to take the cup. 

Hijikata's frown deepened and Gintoki went back to the kitchen to grab the food he cooked. Hijikata took a sip and found the tea surprisingly not bad and soothing. Gintoki stole a peek at him from the kitchen and he smirked in silent victory seeing Hijikata's pleased features. His face looked younger with lesser lines out of too much frowning, and Gintoki quite liked this sight better. 

_"Am I staring?"_ Gintoki suddenly got himself thinking. _"Why would I? It's the baby being adorable. Yup. The baby."_

Gintoki told himself and brought the breakfast he prepared to Hijikata. 

"What's that?" Hijikata eyed the breakfast with confusion.

"Is pregnancy decreasing your nerve cells? That's obviously breakfast," Gintoki frowned again. It's starting to irritate him. 

"I can see what the food is. I'm asking what are you trying to do again? Why are you here so early?"

"Can you stop questioning everything I do?" Why is Hijikata being difficult again? Can he just stay the way he was a few seconds ago? "I'm feeding my kid right since Oogushi-kun can't cook a proper meal to save his life."

"What did you just call me?!" Hijikata snapped again. "I don't have to cook! We hire people for that here!"

"You expect me to trust strangers in feeding my child?" Gintoki replied. "Daddy's gotta do what daddy's gotta do.You do your part and this will be easier for both of us."

"What do you expect me to do, family man?" Hijikata growled.

"Be a good mommy, stop smoking and eat properly. I'll cook for you since you can't feed yourself properly," Gintoki said. "Ah no, I've got a better idea. Eat with me, so I can watch you. You can't keep down much food and you lose appetite when you should be eating. 15 is such a picky eater,"

"That's creepy," Hijikata frowned. "Have you been stalking me?"

"It's not like that!" Gintoki immediately said in defense. "I've got Jimmy for that."

"Stop using Zaki! You're overstepping the boundaries of 'sticking around'. To think that I agreed because you said you'll relentlessly stalk me. This is not that different!"

"Okay, we can't do anything, but get this over with, Hijikata-kun. Number 15 is already here, and unlike you, I'm not betting on having one of you dead by the end of this," Gintoki's words caught Hijikata off guard. "Whether you like it or not, I'm going to make sure that both of you make it through even if it means stalking you 24/7."

Hijikata was out of words for a couple of seconds to give a retort to that until he managed to say,  
"And how long do I have to put up with you?"

"Once number 15 is born healthy, I'm off of your hair," Gintoki extended his hand and again, Hijikata eyed it suspiciously. "Do we have a deal?"

"Let's get this over with." Hijikata grumbled and accepted the handshake. 

Gintoki gave a victorious grin and slightly tightened his grip on Hijikata's hand. "Yoroshiku ne, mommy."

 

 

A nerve in Hijikata's temple throbbed. 

 

What

The

Fucking

Hell

Did he just sign up for? 

 

 

"OW OWW OOOWW!!! WHAT THE HELL, HIJIKATA?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GRIP MY HAND LIKE THAT ONLY WHEN YOU GIVE BIR— OOOOW!!! I GET IT! I GET IT! Seriously, let goooo I'm right handed! How would I grab a sword like this?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was intending to post this earlier if only I wasn't hiding this from my friend. Well, I'm already caught anyway since she blackmailed me. (if i won't tell, she's not gonna let me watch BSD Dead Apple) 
> 
> Anyway, I'm sorry about the usual errors. I'm sorry if the chapter isn't good enough. I'll try my best to do better the next chapter.


	5. Assassins aren't as creepy as Stalkers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know you said that you'll stalk me 24/7, but that's just creepy."
> 
> "How is it not creepy when Okita-kun does it?" Gintoki spat bitterly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda like okikagu as well, so they'll be appearing every now and then.  
> Anyway, here's chapter 5.

"Mayooora! Wakey wakey! Let me greet my grandchild aru!" 

_'What the? Why is it suddenly so loud in here?'_

"Kagura-chan! Don't disturb Hijikata-san."

 _'Huh? Who's that?'_  
Even with all his half awake senses is telling him, Hijikata refused to get up, and indulged into his slumber. 

"What did we came here for then if the mayora won't get up?!"

_'Shut uuuup'_

"Ah that's it. Both of you are never coming with me ever again here." that should be Gintoki. "I only agreed because you said you'll behave. This is not behaving."

"Eeeh??"

"but gin-chaaaan!!!"

"SHUT UUP!!!" the demon finally decided to get up. 

"Oh, ohayo, mom—" Gintoki didn't get to finish when he got hit with a pillow on his face. He can't even call it pillow when it felt like a brick. 

Hijikata Toshirou woke up with the loud noises. This time, the yorozuya kids tagged along with Gintoki, and according to the perm head, he did try to stop them, but it was to no avail. 

Hijikata had breakfast with the entire yorozuya and if his usual breakfast with Gintoki is remarkably lively (thanks to their bickering and petty brawls), it's a lot noisier with the kids. 

"Oh, China. No pets are allowed here. How did a pig like you enter?" Sougo made his entrance to the group and sat beside Hijikata, so much for Gintoki's disapproval. 

"Who are you calling pig, stupid sadist?!" Kagura barked back. "What kind of policy is that when you're keeping a gorilla here!"

"Kondo-san is a mascot, obviously," Sougo shrugged a reply and shamelessly eating Hijikata's food. 

"Hey, what the hell! Scram, you imbecile!" Hijikata pried Sougo's hand off. "Get your own food, dammit!"

"That's very stingy of you, Hijikata-san. I'm sure Assassin number 14 won't mind sharing with me," Sougo replied while chewing. "Here, I can help you feed number 14." 

Sougo attempted to feed him and Hijikata firmly declined. His menacing face is still in place though, seeing Gintoki's murderous glare. 

"No, thank you. Stop that. Why are you suddenly this annoying, dammit?"

"What are you talking about, Hijikata? I'm always annoying you. Besides, I'm establishing a bond, so everything will be easier for Number 14 when the time comes," Sougo replied, though to Gintoki it looks like the reply was meant for him. 

"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you, Okita-kun," Gintoki bit the war invitation out of irritation. "Before you try to adopt, make sure the kid is a complete orphan, or at least you're given an approval by BOTH parents."

"What are you talking about? I didn't agree either." Hijikata frowned at Gintoki and the perm just gave him an accusing stare. 

"You see, I'm just worried about what kind of life my Assassin number 14 is going to have in your roof danna," Sougo drawled and it earned an eye twitch from Gintoki hearing him say 'my'. "You already have a bottomless well to fill thanks to this pig over here," Sougo added, gesturing Kagura. 

"Who are you calling a pig again aru? I'm not a bottomless pit!" Kagura slammed her palms on the table and the plates jumped with all the food. "Gin-chan can feed all of of us just fine!"

"Oh yeah? How many cats do you have to catch just to feed you?"

"I'll make you quit looking down on us!" Kagura screamed and jumped on Sougo. The chaos erupted in the shinsengumi canteen and none dared to intervene. They just went out of the way to secure their own food while Hijikata and Gintoki salvaged what's edible left to eat. 

"You got a job today?" Hijikata asked, still continuing to eat despite the chaos in Gintoki's relief. 

"Yup, I need that so I can rub some cash on that damn sadist's face. Enough money that can wipe his foul attitude," Gintoki replied, mumbling the last sentence under his breath. 

"Don't take it personally. He's just like that. You're a sadist too, so you should know what he's trying to do."

"Yeah right."

"Bringing China where there is Sougo is a bad idea," Hijikata said, looking at the mess. 

"I beg to differ. It's a way to keep the bastard on leash or at least occupied," Gintoki replied, not regretting to bring Kagura the slightest. "You wanna eat lunch outside? We'll be working for the old hag today, so I think I won't make it here for lunch. You can just come over."

"I don't have to eat with you every single time. A single lunch won't hurt. Do your job."

"Come on, it would be nice once in a while. When did you last get out of this place?" Gintoki said. 

"That's right, Hijikata-san! You can come over!" Shinpachi seconded. Hijikata almost forgot he's there. Probably he gave up trying to put a stop of all the banging noise and the explosions Kagura and Sougo is making. 

"I'll see if I can," Hijikata said, dismissing it. 

"Kondo-san told you not to walk around in public unsupervised, Hijikata-san," Sougo cut in after choking Kagura with rice. 

"I'll kill you, damn sadist! Gwack—!" Kagura coughed, and Shinpachi gave her a glass of water which she hurriedly gulped down. 

"Why do I feel like a criminal under a house arrest here?" Hijikata complained. 

"That's right Okita-san. You should at least let Hijikata-san go out once in a while," Shinpachi added, patting Kagura's back. 

"If you wanna go out so much, you can come with me on my patrols," Sougo suggested, and Gintoki didn't like the sound of it even the slightest.

"He'll grow sick of your stupid face if he hangs around you all day, Okita-kun," Gintoki said with his usual bored face, but Sougo can clearly see the murder in his eyes. It just fueled the younger sadist more though. 

"Don't worry about that, Danna. As I've mentioned before, I'm number 14's favorite person, so it's gonna be fine," Sougo replied, adding fuel to the fire. 

"I'm not letting Gin-chan's baby catch your wickedness!!!" Kagura went on and attacked Sougo again in Gintoki's relief.  
.

.

The day went on and Hijikata ended up coming over with a chaperone. In Gintoki's irritation, it was Sougo instead of Yamazaki. The lunch was then again chaotic with Kagura and Sougo on the same room and Gintoki didn't mind. It's just what he needs. 

Hijikata was almost in his second trimester and Gintoki insisted that the doctor should come over to check on Hijikata frequently to check on his condition. It's going to save them a lot of trouble that way, so he asked his connections to pull some strings for that to happen, since Yamada-sensei wasn't every generous of his time. 

If Hijikata were to describe it, Gintoki is overly dramatic about it. He wasn't kidding about going through lengths such as stalking 24/7. He asks the doctor too many questions and Hijikata almost considered Gintoki as a good interrogator. 

 

"He's in a stable condition, Sakata-san. You don't have to worry about that. I assure you."

"Aren't pregnant people supposed to get fat? Losing weight is a normal thing? I've been trying to feed him a lot," Gintoki kept on asking.

"Weight varies in every person, Sakata-san. It's probably just because Hijikata-san haven't been using his muscles much without proper exercise and he's been eating less during the first period of his pregnancy because he's having a hard time keeping the food down. In such circumstances, his weight will most probably drop."

"Hmm." Gintoki hummed a response, thinking things over. For Hijikata, he looks like he didn't actually understand a thing though. 

"Please do contact me if you'd feel something wrong, Hijikata-san. Do not hesitate to contact me. I'll take my leave for now."

"Thank you, Yamada-sensei," Hijikata said and it was Yamazaki's cue to walk the doctor to the entrance. 

"Don't tell me you're going back on doing paperwork," Gintoki said after the doctor's visit. "You finished up even the papers for Friday."

"I have nothing better to do."

"Sleeping early is a good idea, you know," Gintoki suggested. 

"Maybe I'll do that," Hijikata said and he stood up. He suddenly got confused when Gintoki started walking to his room. "Uh, where are you going?"

"Your room, obviously," Gintoki replied as if there's nothing unusual about it. 

"Aren't you supposed to go home now?" Hijikata asked, thinking he's actually supposed to walk Gintoki to the entrance like the usual for the sake of courtesy.

"In not in a rush here. Kagura is staying the night over Shinpachi's so I'll just stay here until you fall asleep."

"I know you said that you'll stalk me 24/7, but that's just creepy."

"How is it not creepy when Okita-kun does it?" Gintoki spat bitterly. 

"Because he normally does that so he can sneak in and look for an opportunity to kill me. He even does stupid dance rituals at night outside my room. I just got used to it," Hijikata replied, oblivious and too dense to notice the bitterness in Gintoki's tone. 

"Then you just gotta get used to it then," Gintoki pouted as they made it to Hijikata's room. "You get yourself a nice bath and I'll prepare your futon."

"That's not necessary. You don't have to."

"I'm bored, and you don't have Jump around here, so I'll have to do something else to keep me occupied," Gintoki said. 

"Whatever. Just don't touch anything that you shouldn't put your hands on. I'll be back in a few minutes," Hijikata said, grabbing his stuff before heading out to shinsengumi's bathroom. 

Left on his own devices, Gintoki prepared the futon and when he was done, there's this disturbing sensation in his mind that urged him to wonder what's the scent of Hijikata's futon. 

_'What the hell? Am I a pervert?! Really now?!'_ He cringed at his own thoughts and maneuvered himself to the corner where he should be. 

_'Just a little sniff shouldn't hurt, right?'_ Gintoki thought, glancing reluctantly at the futon. _'Iyayaya. Be sensible, Gintoki. Why would you even want to do that?'_

It took him quite a while to answer his own question and we was left with the excuse that he just want to prove something. 

_"I bet it smells like his disgusting mayonnaise and smoke with drool and sweat. I just need a proof, that's right."_

He slowly went closer to it and slumped on it face down. He inhaled deeply and filled his lungs with Hijikata's scent. In the contrary of his earlier speculations, it doesn't smell like mayonnaise and at all and smells like fresh detergent instead. Probably because Hijikata is sensitive with smell and he hates the scent of mayonnaise right now. He also stopped smoking. But still, the mint like scent that Gintoki can't put a finger on still lingers. He just decided that it's a smell that only Hijikata has. 

 

"What are you doing Danna?"

The voice made Gintoki jump back on his feet. "O-Okita-kun! I was just taking a short nap."

"Oh? It looked like you were a high school girl who got excited being in her crush's room for the first time to me," Sougo replied with his menacing face again and Gintoki just had enough of having that directed right at him. 

"I was excited to sleep!"

"Why not go back to your own place then?" Sougo retorted. "It would be convincing if didn't look like a pervert smelling other people's sheets."

"Who are you calling a pervert?!"

"What are you two doing?" Hijikata said, standing in his doorway. He's drying his wet raven locks with a towel and Sougo's grin grew wide when he caught Gintoki staring.

"I caught this pervert red handed. He's even ogling at you, Hijikata-san," Sougo pointed an accusing finger at Gintoki. 

"I'm not!"

 

Hijikata frowned and noted that this is just their typical idiotic bickering. He thought it's not that big of a deal, considering that they're in good terms compared to Hijikata's terms in both of them. Well, that's what he thought until he ate breakfast with Gintoki the next day. 

 

The natural perm had been unusually quiet and was short in words whenever Hijikata initiates a conversation (which he hates doing by the way). It's just about time when he snapped. 

 

"If you have something to say, say it," Hijikata growled. Gintoki paused for a second and continued eating after a while.

"Okita-kun is hanging around you so much," Gintoki spoke after another minute of uncomfortable silence. 

"He's my subordinate. What about it?" Hijikata pressed.

"He—he uh.. Maybe you should uh.. It's dangerous for you to stick around him too much. Maybe you should distance yourself a little from him," Gintoki said, though his voice is quite shaky. 

"I've gotten used to Sougo attempting to murder me every single day. I've been through worse and I survived pretty well. Besides, he stopped his usual physical attacks. He likes the kid too much for my own convenience."

"He's psychologically torturing you as well. That didn't stop. You're too stressed thanks to that."

"I'm always stressed. That's not news."

"Why do you like him around too much?!" The reply from Gintoki came stronger than expected. 

"I don't." Hijikata's temper is starting to kick in. 

"You do! You always look for him whenever he's out of sight, ask Jimmy about him, and ask him to stay with you until you fall asleep!"

"It's normal to look for him when he's not around because he's usually slacking off instead of actually working! I ask Yamazaki about it because I can barely do much even just to get out of the barracks by myself! I ask him to stay because I can barely sleep. It's easier to get to bed while he's dissing around! Why do I have to explain all that?" Seriously, Hijikata has no idea what Gintoki is trying to prove here. 

"See? That too! You're defending him everytime." Gintoki said in frustration. 

"What are you talking about? What's your problem with Sougo?!"

Gintoki searched for a better response in his brain and decided to just say, "He's not a very good influence for number 15,"

"The baby can't be influenced by external factors yet," Hijikata grew more confused and annoyed rather than angry. 

"Fine! Okita-kun is such a great guy since you like him around too much. I get it!"

"What's your problem?!"

"I don't want Okita-kun around — around number 15 too much, okay? He's annoying, and he's trying to — ARGH! Forget it!" Gintoki scratched his head in irritation and stood up to leave. 

"Where are you going?"

"Job," Gintoki grunted a reply and left. 

Hijikata wondered about the sudden outburst. He usually gets Gintoki since they usually have the same wavelength and thinks things the same way, but now, he's at a loss with Gintoki's problem with Sougo. True, the young sadist is not that very likeable for him too, but Gintoki normally gets along with Sougo. 

He contemplated his actions and realized that Gintoki is right. He does hang around Sougo most of the time and he does look for Sougo for no apparent reason without even realizing it. 

Hijikata thought about it over and somehow, he got a picture of what Gintoki is so worked up for. It must be number 15. The kid must've liked the young sadist too much. Perhaps Gintoki is seeing Sougo as a rival for number 15's attention. Another is that Sougo is determined to have the baby once he's finally dead. Gintoki wouldn't want that. Apparently, that's it. 

 

Hijikata shrugged it off and continued eating his food. He went back to his office to do the paperwork again. Without even realizing it, noon came. He glanced at his clock and wondered why the perm is unusually late this time for lunch. A knock came to his door and to his dismay, it was not the perm head he expected to see. Instead, it was Yamazaki carrying a tray of food. 

"Where is the perm head?" Hijikata asked. 

"Ah, he said he's busy with the job, so Saito-san made you lunch instead."

"Shimaru did? He can cook?" Hijikata said, checking out the food. It doesn't look that bad and he read the note attached to the tray. 

 

_I have no confidence with my cooking skills, but I'm confident with my knife skills. Please enjoy, zeh.  
-Shimaru_

 

 

Hijikata scoffed and placed the note down. He didn't expect Shimaru to actually cook. 

"You can go, Yamazaki," he said and Yamazaki bowed before leaving. 

He took a bite and to his disappointment, it's not the taste his current sense of taste is demanding. He ate all of it though, albeit forcefully, knowing that Shimaru is silently spying him from the ceiling. 

The food didn't last that long in his stomach though. Another urgent appointment was made with toilet-san and that's when Sougo paid him a visit. 

"Hijikata-san, how is my Assassin number 14?"

"Get lost, Sougo," Hijikata replied, still facing the toilet. 

"I heard you fought with Danna during breakfast," Sougo said casually.

"That's not news. We always fight," Hijikata replied, in hopes of dismissing it entirely. 

"Oh?" Sougo drawled. "Is that why he didn't cook you lunch?"

"That bastard can do whatever he wants with his life," Hijikata said, standing up to head towards the sink to wash his hands.

"Uh huh. Thanks to that, number 14 is complaining about food because daddy is not the one who cooked it." Sougo replied and it made Hijikata pause to reevaluate things over. That's probably true. 

"It doesn't matter," Hijikata replied, washing his face. 

"You're teaching your kid to be spoiled rotten, Hijikata. Don't worry, once you're gone, I'll discipline number 14 better."

"What the hell? You should be the one getting disciplinary actions for your mouth, asshole! I'm your superior, damn it!"

 

Sougo's visit actually made Hijikata feel better, though somehow a stain of guilt was there, since his attachment with Sougo is the reason for Gintoki's outburst. He buried those thoughts deep in his short term memory and spent half of the afternoon with idle chatter and exchange of insults with the young sadist until he was called.

 

Hijikata went on with his day like the usual, dinner came and this time, Yamazaki cooked. Again, there's no Gintoki. Is he still mad? Maybe he's just working for a change. Hijikata shrugged it off and continued eating. He shouldn't be thinking about that. 

"Where is Sou—" he stopped himself without thinking. He's doing it again. 

Yamazaki looked up and answered the unfinished question anyway. "Okita taichou is patrolling the festival."

"Oh. You're not going there?"

"I was assigned to stay with you, so I'm off duty," Yamazaki answered. 

Finishing his meal, Hijikata thought of something else to do rather than stay in the barracks again. 

"You wanna enjoy the festival?"

"Eh? Oh, it would be fun, but you're our top priority right now, fukuchou," Yamazaki replied sheepishly, and Hijikata is tired of hearing that. 

"Let's go then. You're still with me, so there shouldn't be a problem," Hijikata concluded upon standing up to get himself ready to go out. 

"B-but Fukuchou! You're not supposed to go out in public in that condition! There are so many people and— what if joi rebels will ambush you and—"

"That would make me a useful bait then. You can just do your job and catch them all. That's Shinsengumi's real priority and not babysitting."

"But fukuchou!" Yamazaki kept on whining. "The commander said—"

"I can protect myself, you twit! I'm not invalid. Now go and get yourself ready or else I'll make you invalid!"

Scrambling on his feet, Yamazaki finally relented, seeing murder in Hijikata's eyes. He made himself ready and fixed his look. It's been a while since he was out, and to be honest, he'd like to be out. Being inside too much makes him feel cramped and stiff. 

Upon arriving in the festival, they were greeted by colorful lights and lively booths. It's too lively for Hijikata's own standards, but he would like to think that he can deal with it like the usual. As they went deeper into the event, Hijikata felt overwhelmed with the crowd, though it's not usually a bad thing, he suddenly felt nauseous and dizzy with all the people and the smell that mixed into one another. He hid his discomfort immediately, not wanting Yamazaki to suggest going back when he just got there. 

They immediately saw Sougo who is supposed to be patrolling around. The young sadist was leisurely eating in the dango stand as if it's what he should be doing with his uniform on. This surely irked Hijikata and immediately went to the first division captain. 

"What the hell are you doing here when you're supposed to be patrolling?!"

"Eat up Hijikata-san. You threw up your lunch, remember?" Sougo replied, pressing the dango forcefully against Hijikata's mouth which Hijikata pushed away.

"Quit it! Why are not in patrol?"

"I got hungry. Eat some too, Hijikata-san."

"I already ate," Hijikata replied while dragging Sougo off the stand and hopefully, back to work. "You've got your fill. Now get back to work."

"Oh perfect Yamazaki. You can take over my shif—" Sougo didn't get to finish it when a ball was suddenly attached on his face. 

"AHAHAHA! Look Gin-chan! I made a perfect bull's-eye!" They heard Kagura scream victoriously at a ball throwing booth. 

"Oho, great job kagura," Gintoki said with a despicable face and clapping his hands. 

_"What is he doing here? Isn't he supposed to be working?" Hijikata thought._

"Don't complement her gin-san! Kagura-chan! That's Okita-san! The targets are over here!" Here goes Shinpachi doing his job being the straight man. 

"But Gin-chan said I'll just have to think as if the target is my most hated person. He just conveniently showed up," Kagura justified. 

"Pitiful. So you have to think about stupid strategies to hit a target? Leave it to the pro, China," Sougo gave a menacing look, issuing a challenge as he went to the booth. 

"You're on, stupid chihuahua!"

"Oi, Sougo! You're supposed to go back to work!" Hijikata called out, suppressing his nausea and he's expectedly ignored. 

"Kagura-chan, that's enough. We should really be going back to our own booth!" Shinpachi persisted, not willing to accept that he's just going to be ignored as well. 

As much as Hijikata wants to enjoy the event and have fun, his nausea would say otherwise. As everyone's attention was in the ball throwing battle, Hijikata slipped off and went in the alley where he can puke out his dinner. 

He cursed underneath his breath. He should be back before Yamazaki will think that he's been kidnapped by joi rebels. He stood up and tried to regain his balance yet failed. He expected to hit the dirty and cold ground, yet he felt a solid and firm chest instead. He turned around and met Gintoki's dead fish eyes. 

"I caught puking princess," Gintoki said monotonously, earning a shove from the said puking princess. 

"What the hell?" Hijikata growled. He attempted to wipe away the excess saliva with the back of his hand when Gintoki pulled his hand away. 

"Very untidy princess," Gintoki gave a face of disapproval and handed him a face towel. "Use that."

Hijikata's frown deepened, yet accepted the towel to wipe himself anyway. "I've got to go. Yamazaki—"

"Yamazaki knows I'm with you, and not some joi rebels' hide out. Don't worry," Gintoki cut him off and took his wrist. 

"Where are we going?" Hijikata asked. "What are you doing?"

"To put something in the stomach you just emptied," Gintoki replied. 

Hijikata's face hit the lights of the festival again. And his face felt as warm as Gintoki's hand holding his wrist. He'd rather think it's because of the lights and the overwhelming crowd. He mindlessly followed Gintoki who led him to a ramen stand and he was told to have a seat. 

"Weren't you supposed to be at work?" Hijikata asked, only to find Gintoki entering the mini kitchen part of the stand. 

"I've been at work. What do you call this?" Gintoki gestured the booth. "We closed it down for a while to look around since I think we sold out pretty well thanks to Gin-san's master chef skills."

"Master chef?" Hijikata scoffed. 

"You can ask my number 15. I'm sure it would support my claims," Gintoki said. "Now just sit right there and I'll cook something for you."

Hijikata just sat there and silently observed Gintoki while cooking. Usually, this won't be any of his interest, but right now, he doesn't really mind. As if he has a choice though. Once Gintoki was done, Hijikata was surprised to see that it's all just in one big bowl. He was actually expecting that the glutton is planning to eat as well, considering that there were so much ramen he prepared. 

"Aren't you going to eat?" Hijikata inquired, not seeing any hint of Gintoki doing so. 

"You threw up your lunch too, didn't you?" Gintoki asked holding out the bowl of ramen. 

Hijikata frowned, yet not as sharp as usual before accepting the food. 

"See? What did Gin-san tell you about strangers feeding my kid? Next time, I'll make sure that I got to prepare something for you to eat beforehand."

"Whatever." Hijikata pouted, (thinking he's actually glaring) then ate his food with a blissful face. Yep, this tastes a lot better. 

Gintoki sure did enjoy the sight before him. 

 

"Miss my cooking?" Gintoki grinned, earning a glare (which is less threatening with the blush, which Gintoki would like to assume that is out of embarrassment rather than anger or heat of the ramen) from Hijikata. 

"Ask your kid. He's the picky eater," Hijikata answered and continued eating. The silver head gave an amused face at the oblivious Hijikata who just ate his heart out. 

Once Hijikata was done eating, Gintoki secured the stall again and Hijikata wondered where the others were. He was about to contact Yamazaki when Gintoki interrupted him. 

"It's almost time for the fireworks. I know a spot where you can have the best view," Gintoki suggested with the same bored face, though his gaze is never considering to meet Hijikata. 

"How about the others?"

"They're grown ups, Hijikata-kun. There's no need to worry about them. The kids know the spot, so they might be already there. If we're lucky, your favorite Sou-kun and chaperone Yamazaki might've tagged along," Gintoki said, inserting his pinky in his nose. 

It didn't pass Hijikata how he just put emphasis on the word 'favourite' though. "What's with that?" 

"Oh, we're almost there," Gintoki replied instead, and Hijikata grimaced. If he doesn't wanna talk about it, fine. Maybe they really shouldn't. They'll just fight again. 

They made their way uphill without taking the stairs to the temple since Gintoki knows that it's the way to the shrine. It is basically where they are holding the test of courage, and Gintoki was so done with that. He lead Hijikata where there is an open space beside a cherry blossom tree. It has a good view of the event and the clear night sky with no hint of anyone else around. 

"So, where are the others?" Hijikata asked, looking around. 

"They're probably on their way, or they're still busy wrecking up some booth," Gintoki replied and sat on the grass. He patted the spot next to him, gesturing Hijikata to do the same. "Make yourself comfortable. We'll just have to wait."

Hijikata did as he was told and they started making small talks that ended up into another bickering and fight which caused Gintoki to pull Hijikata's cheek in irritation and Hijikata pulling Gintoki's hair in retaliation. They can't even remember why they're fighting. It all just started about a stupid talk about ballsacks.

"Let go you stupid natural perm!"

"What was that? I don't understand ballsack language!"

"Look at the mirror and you'll see what's a ballsack in a form of a godforsaken human's face! Oh look! It matches your stupid perm!"

"Oi! Oi! Did you just imply that my perm looks like a bush of pubes?!"

"Do I have to spell that out for your stupid brain?!"

"That's it! Stop insulting Gin-san's perm! Or else I'll show you how awesome my perm pubes look unlike your v bangs pubes! Wait, is it also in a v-shape down there?" Gintoki suddenly got onto thinking and stared towards the direction of the accused v pubes. 

"What the hell?!" Hijikata punched Gintoki who unfortunately got hit without the chance to evade it. Gintoki was brought back to reality and was about to fight back when they both heard the fireworks starting. They immediately put a stop to the meaningless fight and enjoyed the fireworks instead. 

Unlike Hijikata who's got his full attention on the colorful display in the night sky, Gintoki's brain is working on something else entirely while he's starting at nothing in particular, though his gaze was fixed at the sky. Summarizing his thoughts, he called Hijikata's attention. 

 

"Hijikata"

"Hmm." Hijikata hummed a response, not tearing his eyes away from the sky. 

 

"Move in with me."

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

 

 

"What?"

Maybe he should really look at Gintoki now. Hijikata slowly glanced at the perm head though with reluctance, and to his surprise, Gintoki is already looking at him.

.

.

"Uh," Gintoki leaned closer without breaking eye contact so much for Hijikata's discomfort, thinking that Hijikata didn't hear him because of the noise of the fireworks. "I was asking you to move in with me."

 

 

 

 

 

And Hijikata Toshirou's face was painted with red. He'd rather think that it's the lights of the fireworks illuminating his face. He's definitely not blushing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you ask people to move in with you? Especially when you're not dating and you supposedly hate eachother's guts? Hmmn, leave it to Gintoki then.  
> Tell me your thoughts in the comments and I'll see yah in the next chapter!


	6. Moving in Solves Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Uh... Why is everyone wearing a formal kimono? With the obi and all that really?! Are we arranging your marriage again, Yamazaki?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IIt's kinda rushed, so expect a lot of typos and errors around. I hope you'd still enjoy it anyway

Sakata Gintoki was working his persistent feeling (that he would like to label as merely irritation) off his system. As soon as the night fell, the festival went lively and he was drained with energy. He feels too tired since this is his 3rd job of the day. That tiredness however vanished in a puff he saw Hijikata step in the festival with Yamazaki as his chaperone. He would like to stress out that word as a label for Yamazaki. 

"Kagura, Shinpachi? Let's take a break." Gintoki called out. 

"Really, Gin-chan?" Kagura's face immediately lit up. 

"Yeah. That's enough for now." Gintoki replied, closing the stall. 

"Yeeeey!!! Let's try that! Let's try that aru!" Kagura pointed out a goldfish booth opposite to the direction Hijikata and Yamazaki is taking.

"Ah ah, that throwing game over there looks better. Let's go there," Gintoki said, dragging Kagura to the ball throwing stand.

His gaze followed the v-bangs vice-commander until they went into a dango stand where the younger sadist is eating. Gintoki's dead fish eyes wanted someone else to be dead out of all the sudden. 

"Gin-chan! This sucks! I can't hit any!" Kagura complained. The ball throwing booth isn't that really interesting after all, but Gintoki can make some use of it. 

"That's no good Kagura. Here, listen to Gin-san. You just have to picture out your most hated person, and throw it like you want to hit him straight into his face. For example, your favorite Okita-kun over there." Gintoki innocently pointed Sougo out as if he didn't see him before. 

"Gin-san! That's not how it should work! Kagura-chan, don't listen to hi—"

"AHAHAHA! Look Gin-chan! I made a perfect bull's-eye!" Kagura surely did with Sougo's face. It's kinda too late for Shinpachi to try and beat some sense out of them. 

"Oho, great job kagura," Gintoki said with a despicable face and clapping his hands. Leave Sougo to Kagura, Yamazaki will be easier to handle. 

"Don't complement her Gin-san! Kagura-chan! That's Okita-san! The targets are over here!" Here goes Shinpachi doing his job being the straight man. 

"But Gin-chan said I'll just have to think as if the target is my most hated person. He just conveniently showed up," Kagura justified. 

"Pitiful. So you have to think about stupid strategies to hit a target? Leave it to the pro, China," this earned a victorious grin from Gintoki. One down, and another one to go then. 

 

His eyes has been on Hijikata when he thinks no one is looking. The damn mayora isn't feeling well, is he? He's sweating more than he should and his breathing seems disturbed. Okay, maybe he's noticing too much, but whatever. The bastard is obviously trying to act tough. How come no one is noticing it?! And there goes Hijikata, sneaking off to puke his stomach out. 

"Fukuchou?" Yamazaki was about to follow Hijikata when Gintoki stopped him. 

"I'll take care of him. Did he eat dinner?"

"He did, Danna, but if he's going to throw that up too, that makes two for today," Yamazaki sighed. "Okita taichou said he threw up his lunch too without telling us."

"That asshat really..." Gintoki grumbled underneath his breath. "He's gonna be fine, Jimmy. Have fun with that badminton booth over there." Gintoki said, pointing out a vague direction.

"Really, Danna? There's a badminton booth?!" Yamazaki's eyes should've sparkled right there. 

"Yeah sure. Just go over there and maybe you'll surely find one," Gintoki gave another vague assurance and held Yamazaki's shoulders to push him to the opposite direction. After disposing of Yamazaki, Gintoki hurriedly rushed over to Hijikata. 

He caught Hijikata emptying his stomach and somehow a strand of guilt stuck him. It's sort of his fault that Hijikata was forced to eat something that the kid doesn't want to eat, so he decided to make it up to him. He took Hijikata to their ramen stand and made a big bowl of ramen for Hijikata. 

He considered the scenario not bad at all. He can get used to some peace of mind for a change. As soon as Hijikata was done eating, he took out his phone to contact Yamazaki, but Gintoki wouldn't want that yet. He just got a hold of— of his kid for himself and now, he's leaving? 

"It's almost time for the fireworks. I know a spot where you can have the best view," Gintoki suggested with the same bored face, though he's partly worried that Hijikata will get a wind of what he's trying to do. 

"How about the others?" Hijikata asked, and it irked Gintoki more than it should. 

"They're grown ups, Hijikata-kun. There's no need to worry about them. The kids know the spot, so they might be already there. If we're lucky, your FAVORITE Sou-kun and chaperone Yamazaki might've tagged along," Gintoki said, inserting his pinky in his nose. 

"What's with that?" oops, he's gonna get mad again. 

"Oh, we're almost there," Gintoki replied instead, he wouldn't want to give Hijikata a reason to storm out.

As soon as they made it to the spot, Gintoki is actually thankful that the kids weren't there and there's no sign of a young sadist around. He killed time waiting for the fireworks with the usual bickering with Hijikata, and honestly, he preferred that than anything else as of the moment. 

As soon as the fireworks started, they immediately stopped to look up into the sky and enjoy the colors playing into the night sky. Gintoki glanced at Hijikata who got his full attention on the colorful display and he ended up glancing up as well. That's what they came here for, right? Oh, so after the fireworks is over, Hijikata will have to leave and regroup with—. No, that doesn't sound good at all. He's already with them the entire day! 

It got Gintoki thinking. He can't let this go on like this. He needs to do something about it or else Sougo will chew him out every single time. He can't win with the time. Hijikata stays in the barracks, works in the barracks, and eats there! How can he win time against that? If he wants more time than Sougo, he probably should throw Okita in a remote desert. Wait, that doesn't solve anything, does it? Hijikata's time with him will still be the same. 

That can't be helped, can it? Eventually, they will all have to go home and go on with their lives. Oh wait, go home? That's right. That's the main problem here. He doesn't have to send Sougo to the moon to solve this. He just have to make Hijikata stay with him. So that means he'll have to ask Hijikata to move in with him. That makes perfect sense. 

"Hijikata," he called out, not daring to glance at Hijikata yet. His gaze is still fixed at the fireworks display though he's just passive about it. 

"Hmmn," Hijikata hummed a response. 

"Move in with me."

.  
.  
.

_Why isn't he answering?_

Gintoki glanced at Hijikata who seems frozen on his spot. _'Did he even hear what I said?'_

"What?" Finally, Hijikata glanced at him with confusion in his face. 

'Oh, he probably didn't hear. The fireworks is distracting after all.' Gintoki thought and leaned closer without breaking eye contact and spoke up, albeit reluctant and partly embarrassed.  
"Uh, I was asking you to move in with me."

 

.

.

.

 

 

"HUH???!"

Okay, a little freaking out is normal, but why is Hijikata getting all red? The fireworks? Anger? Embarrassment? Oh, embarrassed it is. It's a bit sudden after all. Gintoki cleared his throat, in hopes of washing the jittery feeling away. 

"It's better like that, don't you think?" Gintoki added, though his nervousness is very evident in his voice. "Si-since it's a hassle to always go over to cook and eat."

"Is this about your little competition with Sougo? Why are you two trying to win the baby when it's not even born yet?"

"Win? What win? I want more time with my kid. What's wrong with that?"

"And my job?"

"It's going to be fine. Seriously, you can do paperwork even in my toilet." Gintoki reassured, confident with the information that Hijikata is stuck on paper work. 

"Why would we have to go this far? Things are fine the way it is," Hijikata sighed. 

"It's not! I wouldn't suggest this otherwise!" Gintoki insisted. 

"Why? If it's the meal and the hassle about cooking for me everytime, you can just—"

"Are you saying no?" Gintoki said with a flat tone, yet it sounded as if he's daring Hijikata according to Hijikata's senses. 

"I'm not! I'm just—"

"Then say yes," Gintoki said and crossed his arms, as if it's the most obvious thing to do. 

"I'm not sure this is a good idea." Hijikata said, weighing things. "The Shinsengumi won't survive without me there. I can't leave everything to Sougo nor to Kondo-san."

"I'm not hoarding you from the world, idiot! You can go there every now and then, and uplift your Shinsengumi code or whatever!"

 

Hijikata frowned. He doesn't really get why Gintoki suddenly wanted him to move in. He can just honestly think that it's just another showdown with Sougo. He's had enough of being pushed around along with this mess just because he is the one carrying the baby that they're fighting over. 

 

"I dunno, Yorozuya," Hijikata groaned. He didn't sign up for this. 

"So, are you moving in or what?" Gintoki stubbornly asked, though he's looking everywhere but Hijikata's face. His sheepish gesture makes Hijikata feel a second hand embarrassment. 

"Why would you want me to move in so suddenly? Did you even think this through?" Hijikata rubbed his face in frustration. 

_'A few minutes ago, yeah,'_ Gintoki thought, though he doesn't wanna say that out loud. 

"It's just that... I hate the feeling that I don't get as much time together compared to certain Shinsengumi members ... — with number 15! Together with 15."

 

The fireworks was finally over and it only added the uncomfortable silence between the two. 

 

.

 

.

 

 

"Fine." Hijikata sighed. 

"GOOD," Gintoki exclaimed and hurriedly grabbed his phone (which he rarely use) to contact someone. He may look like his usual slacker self with his dead fish eyes, but his head is bursting with a great triumph. "Yo, Jimmy. I need you to get Hijikata's things and transfer them to my house. He's moving in with me."

"WHAT?!" Hijikata choked.

["Eh? Danna? Why? Now?!"]

"Ah, it may take some time, right? Okay, just grab those that will be necessary for a sleepover. Have the rest of his stuff delivered first thing in the morning."

["What? Did Fukuchou approve of this?! He's going to kill me if I touched his stuff without his permission!"]

"I definitely will ki—" Hijikata tried voicing out his complaints, but Gintoki effectively shut him off by covering his mouth shut. 

"He did. Stop freaking out. Do it or I'm the one who's gonna kill you, 'kay? See yah," Gintoki said casually, yet Hijikata can tell that it's enough to threaten Yamazaki. 

"What do you think you're doing, ordering a police officer around?!"

"You order him around too," Gintoki justified. 

"I'm his superior!"

"I'm superior in many things too, like my superior natural hair and superior looks, so that's fine,"

"No, 'tis not! I did agree, but I wasn't expecting it to be right now!"

"What's the difference? You'll still move in, tonight or tomorrow, it's the same. Oh, right. Your favorite Okita-kun won't be there," Gintoki gave another blank stare. 

"What? Why did Sougo get into this again?!" he's starting to get annoyed. He thought this topic has been dismissed already. 

"I dunno. Maybe because someone wants him around too much," Gintoki replied with a monotonous tone, yet the accusation is too obvious for Hijikata to overlook. 

"You mean your kid?" Is he seriously sulking at his unborn child? 

"That doesn't make it any better! I'm right here and it's still Okita-kun," 

__

'oh. Apparently he is.'

"You're the one who brought him into this conversation," Hijikata furrowed his brows. 

"Oh yeah? Maybe I did!" 

"What's wrong with you? You've been acting weird. Are seriously sulking at your unborn child?"

"Wha—?" It got Gintoki thinking. Is he? Of course not! Wait what? If he's not, then what is this horrible feeling? Scratch it! Probably he is! Yeah! That's it! 

"It's about time. We should regroup now. I wonder how many stands did Sougo and China destroy this time," Hijikata said, standing up and preparing to leave. Gintoki frowned, yet stood up to follow. 

 

 

Meanwhile, the target shooting owner is starting to get scared, being the next victim of Sougo and Kagura's duo. Shinpachi still has the sense of responsibility that he decided to stay with them in case Kagura blows everything up again. They don't have enough money to cover the damages. 

"Kagura, we should look for Gin-san now, don't you think?" Shinpachi called Kagura out for the nth time for the last hour.

"I'm not going until I get that pink stuff and beat this sadist up Shinpachi!" Kagura vehemently disagreed. At least she responded this time. 

"All of this for that stuffed animal?!"

Sougo checked his phone as soon as he heard the ringtone and read the email. As it appears, he doesn't have that much time. Hijikata is looking for them now. He knew he's with Gintoki after giving the natural perm a smirk when he went after Hijikata. It's about time they go back and as for him, It's about time to go and pretend that he's been doing his job instead of loitering around. 

"Let's get this over with, China. I'm done with this," Sougo said and suddenly pulled out a bazooka in the middle of nowhere. Everyone ran away as he took his aim then blew the entire target stand. "Yay, I won," he declared, though completely monotonous. 

"You cheater! I can do a lot better! I'll win that thiiing!" Kagura lifted the bench and Shinpachi hurriedly stopped her desperately. 

"K-Kagura-chan! We can't damage another booth! We don't have money for the repairs! Let Okita-san destroy stuff! He can pay for it!"

"What?! That's not fair! Let go stupid glasses!" Kagura exclaimed and lifted the bench along with a screaming Shinpachi when Sougo came with the stuffed animal she's been wanting. Suddenly calm, she dropped the bench along with Shinpachi with a heavy bang. 

"There, you can have it," Sougo said. "It suits you anyway. A fat pig."

"HAH?! What do you mean a fat pig!" Kagura snatched the stuffed animal and checked it. Upon looking at it closely, she confirmed that indeed looked like a pig. "I changed my mind. I don't want that! Especially not from your filthy hands!"

"Take it. It perfectly matches you, pig," Sougo pushed the stuffed animal to Kagira and Kagura did the same to him af the same time. 

"What this aru? You're like a shy boy trying to impress a girl in a festival date! Gross!"

"Girl? Where's the girl? I'm being a kind hearted officer who reunited this ugly pig plush to her mother," Sougo retaliated, rubbing the plush against Kagura's face.

"I said, I DON'T WANT IT!!!" 

 

That bazooka shot was all that Hijkata needed to locate them. When they arrived in the scene, Kagura came running to Gintoki with a huge pig plush toy. His eyes scanned around and sure enough, he saw Sougo with a huge bruise on his face that matches Kagura's bruised forehead. Shinpachi is vehemently apologizing to a booth owner and Hijikata knew that he's gonna pay for the damage again. 

"Gin-chan! Look! I got a cute pony!"

"Huh? That's obviously a pi— oof!" Gintoki didn't get to finish it as Kagura gave a hard jab on his stomach. 

"What was that? Oh that's right Gin-chan! It is a cute pony!" Kagura said enthusiastically as if she didn't just do anything violent at all. 

"R-right," Gintoki said, with a drool dripping out of his mouth. The last thing he'd like right now is another painful jab. 

"So pay for this now, Hijikata-san. We have to go back soon," Sougo called out. 

Gintoki cleared his throat, interupting what Hijikata was about to reply. The natural perm stepped closer to Sougo and said rather proudly, "I'd break the news now to you, Okita-kun. The mayora is gonna stay with me from now on." 

"Oh?" Sougo drawled and looked at Hijikata. His bored face switched into a menacing one, liking where this is going too much. "As much as I want to complement your bold attempt, but Im afraid that can't happen just like that danna."

"Ah? Really? Why is that?" Gintoki asked with a ticking eyebrow. 

"We'll have to arrange a few things," Sougo smirked wickedly. 

 

.

.

.

A half an hour later... 

 

"Uh... Why is everyone wearing a formal kimono? With the obi and all that really?! Are we arranging your marriage again, Yamazaki?!" Hijikata exclaimed. He's also at a loss of what's happening. 

"You've got it all wrong Hijikata-san. This is for your funeral services," Sougo replied, not very convincing even the slightest. 

They're all in Otose's Snack Smile with the Yorozuya sitting on one side of the long rectangular table and the Shinsengumi on the opposite side. Hijikata is sitting with Sougo, Kondo, and Yamazaki while Gintoki has the Yorozuya kids and Otose. 

"Okita-kun, no matter how we look at this.., it looks like an omiai! (a meeting with a view of marriage)" Gintoki exclaimed as well. 

"Why did I get dragged into this? Am I your mother now? So you did knock someone up? I thought you're adult enough to know your stuff. Do I have to remind you to use protection?!" Otose scolded, running her blabbering mouth and giving Gintoki an earful as always. 

"What the hell, old hag?! It's not like that! You already knew about my situation damn it!" Gintoki yelled back. 

"It looks exactly like that, Sakata!" Catherine joined in uninvited. 

"You're not even invited in this conversation! Scram, you stray cat!" Kagura kicked her out, literally. 

"I can't believe this. Why are we making this into such a big deal?" Hijikata sighed, clearly tired. 

"This is a serious matter Toshi," Kondo opposed. "Gin-san here is saying he's going to take responsibility —"

"No! We're not getting married!" Hijikata exclaimed vehemently. 

"You're not?" Kondo asked, completely baffled. "Why not?"

"Why would we?!" Hijikata threw a rhetorical question. 

"Because you're carrying Gin-chan's baby?" Kagura suggested an answer. "My Mami and Papi had a shotgun wedding too you know."

"We don't have to go that far!" Hijikata complained and he suddenly felt the heavy weight of Gintoki's stare at him. He glanced at the perm thinking about what is his problem.  
_'Say something you damn natural perm! Why are you suddenly so silent?!'_

"So here's the thing," Sougo moved to settle this. It's late after all and he's sleepy. This meeting wouldn't have happened the same evening if only Gintoki didn't insist that Hijikata is staying with them in that very night. He didn't have a choice. Even though he wants Hijikata to finally bid farewell, he doesn't want to miss the fun he'll get out of it.  
"Danna is taking Hijiata-san into his household, so we have a few conditions before that can happen."

"Oii! If you're imposing a dowry, we can't afford anything! We're piss broke, I'll have you reminded!" Gintoki gave them a heads up before Sougo can name a few things. 

"Oh don't worry Danna," Sougo reassured him. "We are well informed, so we made you quite a consideration on this one. We'll even pay for your monthly rent as long as Hijikata-san is here."

 _'This feels like a rehab center.'_ Hijikata thought. 

"REALLY???" The yorozuya kids were all ears now. Even Otose is liking where this is going, except for Gintoki. He knew that the young sadist has something up in his sleeves. 

"So what's the catch?" Gintoki asked, not trusting Sougo a bit on this one. 

"You'll have to make sure that Toshi is well treated, well fed, and his oh, cravings! Don't forget about his—"

"Kondo-san," Hijikata groaned, feeling embarrassed. He felt like a two year old being left to his nanny. 

"I've got that all covered, Gorilla. Don't worry." Gintoki brushed that away. He's more interested of what Sougo has to say. 

"And of course, we'll frequently visit here, Danna. We have to check on our dear vice commander after all. One is also because we can't fully function without him, so it is possible for a lot of frequent all nighters and sleepovers." Sougo said with a smug look. 

"Ha??" Gintoki gave an annoyed huff. His brain is telling him that it's all completely unnecessary. 

"Come on, Danna. You don't expect us to just hand over our Vice commander to a penniless guy like you, right? Of course, he'll have to come with us. The only difference is that, he goes home here. Fair enough, right?"

He knew it! That bastard really is getting into his nerves these days. 

"Deal!" Shinpachi, Kagura, and Otose immediately sealed the deal without letting Gintoki have a word about it. 

.

.

 

.

 

"Where am I supposed to sleep?" Hijikata inquired, stepping inside the yorozuya household. 

"With me in my room, of course," Gintoki replied as he made his way to his room. "I'll get my spare futon ready."

"This is great, Gin-chan! We don't have to worry about the rent! Mayora! Just stay here forever!" Kagura happily clung unto Hijikata. 

"Why would I do that? Get off, China. You're heavy." Hijikata replied, trying to pry Kagura off him. 

"Kagura!" Gintoki called out from his room. "Get off the Mayora. The Shinsengumi princess is not supposed to carry heavy stuff."

"What's up with you calling me princess?! It's gross!" Hijikata finally got rid of Kagura. 

"Okay, the bed is ready. You can set up your stuff. I'll go and get the bath ready." Gintoki went out of the room. 

Honestly speaking, Hijikata is still feeling weird about staying with Gintoki. He still find it uncomfortable. The first night is bearable. They slept in separate futons with their backs facing at each other, and the moment he woke up in the morning, Gintoki is already up. 

"Hijikata-san's stay here is actually a great idea. I don't have to wake Gin-san up every morning. He's already up when I got here. He's even cooking breakfast," Hijikata heard Shipachi talking. Apparently, the kids weren't aware that he's already up.

"He has to make a healthy breakfast on time or else that stupid sadist will egg on us again!" Kagura said. As it sounds, she's eating that healthy breakfast. 

Hijikata got up and went out of the room. The kids greeted him a good morning and he greeted them back as he went his way to the toilet. Yes, he remembered what got him up. He needed to take a good long piss, and probably, any moment soon the usual morning sickness will kick in. 

He took a piss and washed his hands. He went on with his usual morning routine and took his toothbrush. His probably going to puke any moment soon, so the toothbrush should be after that. Out of all the sudden, he heard a soft click. He paused and looked around, putting his guard up, he saw a red framed glasses on the floor. He was about to pick it up when he felt a presence from behind— no, the ceiling?!

"Gin-saaan!" a woman was suddenly trying to hug him. 

"What the fuck?! Who— what are you doing?!" Hijikata wanted to hit her like how he usually hits Kondo when he's being too clingy, but he can't just hit a woman, can he? 

"Oi, where is Hijikata?" the man in question heard Gintoki step inside the house. 

"Oi, Damn perm head! Get this woman off me!" Hijikata called out. Gintoki opened the door to the bathroom and he immediately hated the sight he saw. Hijikata is lying on the floor with Sarutobi hovering over him. By the looks of it, she's trying to kiss him and Hijikata is trying to stop her by grabbing both her wrists and pushing her face away. A switch flipped inside Gintoki and he grabbed Hijikata up in a flash. 

"Get up!" Gintoki exclaimed, unaware of his tightening grip on Hijikata's arms. "What the fuck are you doing?!" 

"I didn't do anything! That woman jumped on me! Why are you yelling at me?!" Hijikata yelled back. Sarutobi just sat there on the bathroom floor, clueless of what's going on. 

"Number 15 could've gotten hurt!" Gintoki yelled back. 

"And that's my fault?!" Hijikata flinched. His nausea is kicking in again. He pushed Gintoki away, and the idiot perm is not letting go with the mentality of pursuing this pointless argument. 

"Oh Gin-san! Don't worry, I'm never going to replace you! Sa-chan will always be Gin-san's!" It didn't help when the masochistic ninja clung onto Hijikata again. 

"Oi! Let go!" Hijikata struggled to get rid of the two. "Seriously, I gotta go!" His complaints were deaf on both Gintoki and Sarutobi's ears though. 

"Who are you?! Let go of Gin-san! He's mine!" Sarutobi pulled Hijikata's head, pressing Hijikata's face against her boobs. For a certain reason, It irked Gintoki more, though for Hijikata, the suffocation worsened his nausea. 

"That's not me, woman! Get your glasses! What the fuck?! Let go of him!"

 

"Blegh!"

.  
.

.

 

aaand Hijikata threw up on Sarutobi's breasts. It's going to be a long day.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry the update got a bit late. I've been dragged into helping the school publication (though I'm not a member. My friend asked me to help out like always.)  
> so I've been writing articles and literary attempts instead.  
> Let me hear your thoughts! It's always good to hear from you guys! See yah in the next chapter!


	7. Good Mommies Knit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki's blood suddenly froze. This can't be happening now. He just finished dealing with that idiot earlier in the trouble with Sarutobi and he really chose today as the perfect timing to capture Hijikata? Oh no, wait. He realized his big mistake.

"What do you mean you're expecting a child, Gin-san? I didn't take the pregnancy test yet." Sarutobi said with a pathetic blush and sheepish gesture. 

"How am I supposed to have a child with you?" Gintoki asked while being busy pricking his nose. 

"That's easy," Kagura replied, presenting a picture diagram presentation of neo armstrong cyclone jet armstrong cannon. "You told me about that before, Gin-chan. It's when neo armstrong cyclone jet armstrong cannon shoots into a tunnel. A baby will grow inside a mami's tummy because of the impact's vibration. It creates a chemical change that forms into a new life form."

"How the hell are you educating China about sex education?" Hijikata gave Gintoki a stern glare of accusation. 

"Like how a responsible adult does, of course," Gintoki replied casually. 

"That's it, you're not hanging around the kid while growing up ," Hijikata concluded, questioning his credibility as a parent. 

"Oi! How does that have to do with anything?!"

"Everything." Hijikata justified. 

"Maa, maa, you two. We shouldn't be dealing about it like this. We should at least let Hijikata-san finish his breakfast," Shinpachi said, trying to neutralize the situation like always. 

"Shut up, stupid glasses. This is a serious matter. Mayora is saying Gin-chan can't raise the baby! How am I going to teach number 15 about the super secret technique that the yorozuya passed on from generation to generation?"

"That's right, Kagura-chan," Shinpachi replied, much to Hijikata's surprise. "Rikudou Sennin will be disappointed without an inheritor of his power for the next generation of the yorozuya."

"Who the hell is Rikudou Sennin? What generation? This yorozuya doesn't have a previous generation!" is Hijikata supposed to play the straight man now? The glasses wearing human is neglecting his role as the straight man here! 

"The next generation will be my number 15 right there of course, dear Oogushi-kun," Gintoki said, gesturing Hijikata's tummy. 

 

"What are you all talking about?" Sarutobi said, suddenly being hit with the realization. Her assassination mode starting to kick in. 

"We're talking about the thing that we've been telling you over and over again," Gintoki replied in annoyance while scratching his scalp. "I'm expecting a child from his highness, the vice-commander of the Shinsengumi himself."

"What the hell?" Hijikata just hates being referred as a damsel in distress. 

"What?" Sarutobi is not a ticking bomb. "What?! WHAAAT??!" 

"That's enough 'what' for today, Sacchan." Kagura said with her pinky in her nose as well. "We got enough of those already."

"No! That can't happen, Gin-san! How about our child?!" Sarutobi begged on Gintoki's lap with her butt scandalously swaying back and forth.

"What child?" Gintoki gave a cold reply. "I only have number 15 with my DNA. 

"That's not a problem Gin-san," Sarutobi gave an evil chuckle as she fixed her glasses. "I can easily find that amanto parasite and I'll be pregnant is no time. HAHAHAHA! Why haven't I thought about this before?" her low voice suddenly shifted into a boisterous laughter and happily ran outside. 

They shouldn't be worried about that, but Gintoki wouldn't want to bet on that stalker's sanity. She's desperate when it comes down to him. 

"Uh, Hijikata-kun? Don't you think we should tell Yamazaki to check on the secured parasites? I'm not planning on a number 16 right now."

"Oh I don't know. Maybe it's better that way. Have your number 16 and it will be a fair share—"

"OI! I'm not giving number 15 to Okita-kun just because I can have a number 16! That's not how it works! If I just want a kid that badly, I could've just had a random woman knocked up!" Gintoki strongly opposed to the idea. 

"Why am I so popular these days?" And speaking of the devil, the devil in a human flesh came into being at Gintoki's doorstep. "You better stop talking about me too frequently, Danna. You're making me blush."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Gintoki just got a lot more irritated. 

"I just overheard a great idea. It was a very great suggestion, Hijikata-san. That's why I made arrangements with a shady stupid ninja that bumped into me in the stairs," Sougo said with his antagonistic face. 

"You mean, Sacchan-san?" Shinpachi asked, getting a bit worried where this is going. 

"You didn't!" Gintoki said in desperation. 

"I certainly did," Sougo give off another smug look and that's all that Gintoki need to blast off running after Sarutobi. 

"Did you seriously do that?" Hijikata asked as Sougo made himself comfortable in the yorozuya household. 

"I wouldn't want to pass up with the opportunity to harass Danna. It's a great idea you see, Hijikata-san. I can just get those parasites and impregnate fangirls of their most prized idols."

"That shouldn't be something a man of law would say!" Hijikata scolded, though everyone knows Sougo will never listen.

"Ah, for now, let's just act even just a little civilized, okay?" Shinpachi said as he took the dishes to the sink. "I'll just wash the dishes. Kagura-chan, Okita-san is a guest you know. Be nice."

Shinpachi tidied up the dishes and Kagura was then again riled up with the presence of the young sadist. The two made another heated glaring showdown with a negative electric charge sparking in between their glares. 

"What are you doing here again, stupid sadist?" Kagura said, looking up.

"Megane just said that I'm a guest here, China," Sougo crossed his arms and looked down on Kagura with his chin up. "Now go and serve me something to drink, pig."

"Gin-chan taught me that a guest is someone who comes in with permission and brings gifts! You came here uninvited! You're an intruder! This is trespassing!" Kagura vehemently opposed to the idea. 

"I came here as a part of the deal, China. I'm paying my precious Assassin number 15 a visit," Sougo replied, bumping his forehead against the shorter yorozuya member. 

"Who are you calling yours?! Number 15 is Gin-chan's baby! That's my grandchild!" Kagura exclaimed, pushing her forehead against the young sadist. 

"Oh?" Sougo drawled. "Grandchild? You didn't even get to breastfeed your child. Oh, that reminds me. Is Danna supposed to be your child then. You mean you let Danna suck your—"

"Urrraaaaah!!!" Kagura's last straw snapped and Sougo was thrown back to the entrance door "You disgusting sadist!!!" 

"You're the one who implied it, ugly China!" Sougo yelled back as he immediately tried to get back on his feet. 

"No one is implying anything disgusting but you, stupid sadist!" Kagura and Sougo was about to exchange blows when Hijikata got in between them just on time and pulled the back of the children's clothes. 

"Enough of that," Hijikata said, as the two are still trying to reach out to one another. Kagura looked like a cat trying to scratch her claws at Sougo while Sougo looked like a hungry wolf itching to devour a prey. Hijikata didn't 't have time for that. He took out some cash and handed it to Kagura. Bribery should work for now. "Go get yourself that seaweed stuff. Let me be at peace even for just a day."

Kagura accepted the money without any hesitation. "You're the best, Mayora! This is why I'm telling you to just stay here forever. Stop hanging around some stupid sadist. It won't do you any good."

"Right, right. Just go ahead and scram." Hijikata brushed her off before Sougo can get any comeback and the yato girl went on her way without further adieu. 

"You're no fun Hijikata-san," Sougo pouted that Hijkata almost considered that the brat felt disappointed that Kagura left. 

"You came here for a fight, didn't you?" Hijikata raised an eyebrow. 

"That's not exactly true. I came here because I know you're going to be bored in this place, so I got something for you," Sougo held out a paper bag to Hijikata. Out of habbit, and maybe instinct, the vice commander eyed it suspiciously. 

"What's that?" Here goes the accusing tone. 

"I'm hurt, Hijikata-san," Sougo gave a mocked hurt expression. "For once I'm genuinely trying to be nice and you're giving my present such an accusing glare."

"Maybe if you don't have quite a record for being a nuisance despite looking all innocent, maybe I won't be giving you this kind of face."

"Just open it, stupid Hijikata," done with playing nice, Sougo tossed it to his vice-commander who had no other choice but to trust that it doesn't have any usual bomb inside. Lucky enough, his life was spared. It's really quite handy when the hitman likes your kid a lot more than necessary. 

With a gruff, Hijikata opened the bag and saw a knitting kit. He gave Sougo a confused look and when the brat gave a smug face in response, Hijikata threw the bag right at his face. 

"Why the fuck are you giving me these?!" Hijikata angrily demanded an explanation. He can't believe this! Why is he suddenly treated like a traditional woman passionately excited about having a child?

"Hijikata-san, good mommies do this stuff," Sougo picked the bag up and took led Hijikata to the red sofa in the yorozuya Office. 

"I don't want to! Get that outta here!" Hijikata demanded. The brat had the nerve to make him knit. 

"Bad mommy," Sougo gave out that phrase again. It only irked Hijikata further. "At least prepare something for Assassin number 14 so that I can give it to the child as your momento after you die in childbirth."

"What the actual fuck?!"

"Come on. It's actually fun. We just get to make something for the baby," Sougo took out some knitting needles and handed them over to Hijikata. 

"This is stupid! I'll just buy something and say to the kid that that I gave it as a momento!" Hijikata proposed an alternate idea, however, Sougo doesn't look that convinced. 

"What kind of a mommy are you? That's very impersonal of you, Hijikata. It's special because you're the one who made it. It would be more meaningful, don't you think?" Sougo said. He sounded convincing, yet at the same time, it sounds too perfect and nice for the damn sadist to actually be saying it with pure intentions. 

"Seriously?"

"Oh come on. You're just shy, aren't you Hijikata-san? Don't worry, I'll teach you. I asked someone who can help us learn this stuff."

"What?"

"Ba-san!" Sougo called out and as Hijikata expected, Otose came in with a scornful face. Hijikata wondered what Sougo did to Otose that she's making her look all that pissed. But then again, it's Sougo we're talking about. He can piss anyone off without batting an eye. 

"What do you want now?" Otose asked, annoyed is an understatement. She's really angry. Now that Hijikata looked closer, he noticed that something is missing. Otose is not smoking. That must be why. 

"You shouldn't be like that, Ba-san. Now just teach Hijikata-san how to knit like a good mother-in-law," Sougo

"How many times do I have to tell you? We're not getting married!" Hijikata is using every ounce of his self control to prevent himself from strangling Sougo. 

"Knitting huh? You're starting to look like a full fledged pregnant woman like this," Otose's mood suddenly got better. She even gave light chuckles as she made her way to Hijikata. 

.

.

.

Shinpachi can't believe this. Even him got entangled into knitting something for the baby. It was just Sougo and Hijikata when he finished washing the sheets and somehow, he got convinced of making something too. By Shinpachi's standards, Sougo is doing a great job though it looks too large to still assume that he's making something for a baby. It looks like he's making something for himself. Hijikata is completely another story. He's frustrated and even Shinpachi has no idea what he's trying to make. Otose is enjoying herself while making cute a blue sweater while giving amused glances at Hijikata. 

"What are you doing aru?" Kagura asked, munching a sukonbu. She has more boxes in her arms and Shinpachi was worried where she stole all of those. 

"Where did you get all of that?!" Shinpachi asked. 

"In the store, stupid." Kagura replied, as if that's enough to explain everything.

"Calm down, Megane," Hijikata said, still frustrated about knitting. "I gave her the money for that."

"What are you doing, Mayora?" Kagura said, scooting over Hijikata. "That looks like a.. Hmm what is that?" Kagura gave up trying to find out what it is. 

"Uh.." Honestly, even Hijikata has no idea what it turned out to be. 

"Oh, it's done," their attention was suddenly on Sougo who finished knitting a red scarf. 

"It looks great Okita-san!" Shinpachi said with amazement. He honestly didn't expect Sougo to knit so well. "That scarf matches your eyes."

"Who said that it's a scarf?" Sougo asked and everyone was suddenly confused. It looked pretty much like a scarf to everyone. "It's a pig leash." Sougo clarified as he tied the said leash around Kagura's neck tightly. Clearly, he's intentionally choking the yorozuya member and that can't go well at any point. 

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!!!" Kagura gasped huge huffs of air and chased the young sadist across the entire Kabukichou. 

Hijikata went on with his struggle in knitting something. A few more painful minutes of inner struggle, Hijikata's phone rang. 

"What now, Zaki?!" Hijikata exclaimed, pouring out all his frustration on Yamazaki like the usual. 

"Uh, fukuchou. I just wanted to report about the parasites. We secured the blackmarket selling it off. Thanks to the tip. There was indeed a strange desperate woman who tried to make a transaction with a joi middle man in the blackmarket. There's no need to worry. We've got the woman and everything is under control. Except.. The joi informant ran away."

Hijikata groaned. As much as he wants to be relieved of the news, the fact the the joi informant ran away worsened his headache. He gave another order to Yamazaki and ended the call with a curt compliment of a job well done. Otose gave him a few more minutes of their one on one knitting tutorial until his final straw of patience finally snapped. 

"That's it! I'm not doing this shit anymore!" Hijikata finally lost his temper check and threw his output hard on the floor. Otose gave a face of disapproval, yet she still can't help but find this entire thing amusing. 

 

The front door suddenly came open and a voice announced that he's home. As Hijikata expected, the sorry excuse of a samurai came back home looking beaten up and torn. Hijikata examined his features, and he can confidently conclude that he got into the trouble in relation to the incident that Yamazaki just reported. As soon as their eyes met, it goes without saying that they're both angry at each other with their own reasons. 

"What's with that look, Mayora? I know that Gin-san is very hot, but I'm not in the mood thanks to you."

"Oh yeah? Now I just got a call from Yamazaki. There was indeed a situation regarding the amanto parasites. Your stalker sure works fast. I just wonder how that joi informant escaped."

"Oi hold it right there. Are you implying that a law abiding citizen like Gin-san is helping out a rebel?" Gintoki replied in the same tone. "I've had enough of your accusations Mayora!" Gintoki stepped closer and yet paused for a while to check the soft fabric his foot just felt. He lifted his foot away from the thrown piece of unidentifiable garment and examined it.   
"Who on earth left this disturbing rag on the floor?"  
.

 

"I'm going outside." Hijikata said coldly, as he stood up. 

"Really? Now? What are you even gonna do outside?" Gintoki asked, irritating Hijikata. 

"Why? What am I even gonna do here?" he went past Gintoki and headed out. The two people left inside the yorozuya office with Gintoki is giving him a face of big disapproval. Otose sighed and finally took out her cigarette to light it. 

"You're too insensitive for your own good," Otose commented then took a drag of her cancer stick. "He's been working hard to make something for the baby. He has a long way to go but that thing you called a disturbing rag is a start."

"Oh so I'm always the bad guy," Gintoki scratched his head and went to his swivel chair, hoping he can actually relax even just a bit. 

"Aren't you going to go after him, Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked and Gintoki turned the swivel chair around to avoid seeing anyone. 

"He's a grown man, Patsuan. Let him have his walk. He used to walk around doing his stupid patrols. Maybe that's what he needs."

"But Gin-san! Kondo-san doesn't let Hijikata-san wander around the streets without anyone else with him! The shinsengumi will get mad!" Shinpachi argued and a couple of seconds passed, but there's still no reply from his boss. "GIN-SAN!"

"SHUT UP!" Gintoki stood up in irritation. He kissed his chances of relaxation goodbye and headed outside again. "It's so noisy in here, I can't take a nap! I'm going to the pachinko."

As the door slid shut, Otose chuckled with another drag of her cancer stick. Shinpachi gave her an inquiring look and Otose just said, "He usually says he'll do something serious though he's actually just going to waste money in the pachinko parlor. Hearing him openly say that he's going there makes me think otherwise."

Shinpachi smiled at this. He thanked Otose and excused himself to go out as well. He'll have to help out his boss.

.

.

.

 

Gintoki has been going around in circles. There's no luck in finding Hijikata. He considered checking in the Shinsengumi but if the Mayora isn't there, they will find out what happened. He honestly had no idea where Hijikata must've ran off to. He usually just bumps into him by chance and he's everywhere when Gintoki hates to see him around. It's like deja vu to him. Hijikata is not around anywhere wherever Gintoki is looking for him. Perhaps not immediately following the bastard is a bad idea, but he was thinking that if he followed Hijikata right away, Shinpachi and Otose will think that turned into a softie who just follows Hijikata around to spoil him rotten. His pride can't allow that. 

After another exhausting half an hour, Shinpachi suddenly came running to him with a horrified face. 

_'Quick, Gintoki. Pretend that you just came out from the pachinko parlor. Wait, the pachinko is the opposite way. Okay, I'll just say—'_ Gintoki's inner monologue was cut short when he heard Shinpachi's scream as he ran desperately to get into him. 

"GIN-SAAAAAN!"

"What now, Patsuan? I'm having my leisure stroll. Are you going to disturb my peace even at this point?"

"We don't have a time for that! Hijikata-san— Hijikata-san was captured by Katsura-san!"

Gintoki's blood suddenly froze. This can't be happening now. He just finished dealing with that idiot earlier in the trouble with Sarutobi and he really chose today as the perfect timing to capture Hijikata? Oh no, wait. He realized his big mistake. 

"How the hell was the Mayora captured?! He's armed, isn't he?!"

"Uh... Actually..."

 

.  
.

.

10 minutes earlier... 

Hijikata has been staring at a strawberry cake for almost three minutes now. He's been contemplating on what to do since he didn't bring his wallet and he gave the money he had in his kimono to Kagura. He really shouldn't have walked out just like that. He should've brought his wallet instead. Good thing he managed to grab his sword out of habit. A samurai can't get out without his sword after all. 

After quite sometime, Shinpachi found him. He was about to approach the vice-commander when suddenly, a man with a stupid pink mustache and pink apron approached him and said, "You're in luck sir. We're giving a free cake for our lucky customer!"

_'K—Katsura-san?!'_

Shinpachi was having an internal turmoil. He was thinking of yelling a warning to Hijikata that it's the joi patriot that he's been chasing down for hundreds of episodes, but he saw Elizabeth with a pink matching disguise. That's not the disturbing part though. The thing that looks very disturbing is the fact that Elizabeth is sharpening a butcher knife despite being inside a pastry store. To top that, he even raised a sign, saying, "Speak and you're dead."

Hijikata, oblivious of the exchange, was confused for a moment of what he's been told. He recollected his previous statement and the word free and cake ringed merrily in his ears. His face suddenly lit up, completely buying it. "Really?"

"Yes, sir. Right this way. You can choose the flavor and design that you like," the suspicious man led Hijikata inside the pastry store and showed Hijikata more of the cakes inside. The weird creature that awfully looks too much like Katsura's pet except for the pink mustache and pink apron, pulled out a sign saying, "Take your pick."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's really late, I know. I'm sorry about that. I've got my hands full these days with all the university stuff I gotta finish. I may not update regularly as I used to, but rest assured that I'll continue to update when I get the time.


	8. Food Bribery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How can you just say that?! Don't you have a strand of embarrassment left in your skin, stupid perm?!"
> 
> "I'M SO DAMN EMBARRASSED, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Errors along the way. I apologize

Katsura Kotarou considers himself one of Gintoki's closest friends. He expects to know everything about him, but hearing about Gintoki expecting a child in accident shocked the runaway Kotarou. He knew that all of them fooled around during their youth in brothels, but hearing it now surprised him. He honestly expected that it's just like that one time when Gintoki was suddenly carrying a baby around who looks exactly like him with his arrogant face. Though the involvement of amanto parasites is one thing that spiked his interest more than the previous scenario where a baby was suddenly left on his doorstep. Scratch that. It must've been the stairway, but that's not the point. The thing is means that the one carrying his child is still pregnant. 

Making Gintoki talk is hard enough. He wouldn't have mentioned it if he wasn't asking about the parasites. The information about who the second host is was another hurdle to take. His dumb luck actually saved him from all the trouble though. A desperate ninja that Gintoki called his stalker did the honor of spilling the fact that the brain of the shinsengumi is carrying Gintoki's child. That didn't sit well with Katsura at all. 

"So what's the plan? You're marrying him?!" Katsura can't help but exaggerate his reaction. 

"What the hell? Why would I?" Gintoki replied with a ridiculed face. It somehow relieved Katsura. 

The joi rebel leader sighed, "What about the kid's custody then?"

"I even had to fight him just so he can let me take care of him during his pregnancy. I'm not allowed to have my kid for myself," the silver head perm replied with an annoyed gruff. 

"That's not right! Come, Gintoki. Let us take back your child."

"Are you an idiot? Oh right, don't answer that. I actually know how big of an idiot you are. Don't hang around the kid or else my kid would catch your idiocy." 

"Gintoki, this is serious! We can't let the child be raised with such a wrong bushido! Your kid is the future of the joi forces, Gintoki! Just imagine how badly it would end if the shinsengumi would raise the kid into another bakufu dog?"

"You're over reacting." The perm head gave a blank stare. 

"I'm not! I don't want to end up cutting down my own niece or nephew!"

"Who the hell made you an uncle? When did we become siblings?" Gintoki seriously had to stop this idiot's dilemma before he can come up with more ideas. 

"I don't recall having your perm as well, but we're connected more than blood. We're soul brothers and you know that." Katsura argued with a dramatically serious face, just irking Gintoki further.

"Oi oi. That's too much drama right there. It's creepy."

"Don't worry, soul brother. I'll help you win the child."

 

Even after all Gintoki's rambling and firm refusal, Katsura can't help but feel like the chosen one. The chosen one to help his good friend in this mess. Who else could help Gintoki but him, yes? 

As planned, Hijikata is now in the palm of his hand. He can only laugh internally upon witnessing his plans unfold successfully. 

 

"Which cake would you like, sir?" Katsura asked. 

"I'd take this strawberry one," Hijikata answered and Elizabeth happily served him the strawberry shortcake. 

The vice-commander is unaware of the observant eyes that Katsura is casting upon his features since he's busy enjoying his strawberry shortcake. Katsura can almost say that he's too defenseless with how childlike he looks while eating his cake. Katsura noted the baby bump that one could be mistaken for a mere belly fat due to slow metabolism. Another factor is also Hijikata's Kimono. It's not really showing unless one paid careful attention. 

"Thank you for the food. The cake was delicious," Hijikata said as soon as he finished his cake, to Katsura and Elizabeth's surprise. 

"Ahem!"Katsura cleared his throat. "If you don't mind me asking, sir, are you pregnant?"

Hijikata was silent for a while his brows furrowed and he suddenly tightened his guard. 'How did they know?' Hijikata thought. Sensing that Hijikata is was finding them suspicious, Katsura proceeded to his story. 

"Ahem, uhh actually, the reason why we granted you a free cake is because we are part of the national health department," As soon as the excuse came out of his mouth, Katsura and Elizabeth immediately put on sa pair of sunglasses. It didn't ease Hijikata's suspicion even the slightest though.

"You look more like a gangster than a government health personnel," Hijikata replied. 

"This is because we are also in undercover," Katsura said, which Hijikata gave another blank stare. "We need to ensure your child's full nourishment, so we have to assist you in ensuring your proper nourishment. Come! Let's go and get you nourished!"

"What was that supposed to mean?" Hijikata asked, still suspicious. 

[It means more free food.] Elizabeth showed a sign. 

"Why are we still here? Let's get that nourishment going." Hijikata immediately stood up from his chair. 

As much as Hijikata likes the idea of free food, he didn't expect to be dragged around Edo with the prospect of stealing. Running around from fruit stall to fruit stall, Katsura presented a poorly handwritten permit to the vendor while Elizabeth hurriedly collected the fruits they find necessary. Hijikata was totally opposed to their actions all along, but he can't actually complain that much when he's dragged into the next location before he can finish his protests. 

"That was clearly stealing!" Hijikata yelled out as a crowd of angry vendors were behind them in pursuit. 

"We told you, we're in undercover. We can't tell them the entire detail of this operation. Not understanding what just happened caused this violent reaction, Hijikata." Katsura replied as he ran fast. Because of the rush, he didn't notice the pink mustache coming off. Hijikata was about to lash out, realizing who it actually is until Katsura said, "Next, we'll get some milk. You should freshen up after all this running."

Hijikata was suddenly delighted with that proposal. "Can we get strawberry milk?"

"Ha ha ha!" Katsura laughed boisterously and showed a thumbs up as he replied, "Of course." Forget about putting this bastard behind bars for now. He can do that after getting that free strawberry milk. 

It has been a long day and Hijikata has no idea how they ended up in a park doing some stretching. Katsura said that it's good for the baby, while Hijikata argued that all the running around is enough stretching for him. Hijikata wanted to call it a day, but of course, the joi rebel has a different idea. Hijikata bets that this is going to be another bribery of food, so he immediately shot the idea down. 

"I don't know what you're up to, feeding me and all this, but let's call it a day, Katsura. I won't put you behind bars as a compensation of all the food."

"Would you mind me asking you something?" Katsura called out before Hijikata can make his way out of the park. The demon vice-commander stopped on his tracks and glanced back at Katsura. Taking the gesture as a yes, Katsura continued, "Why did you decide to keep the baby?"

It took a minute of silence before the joi rebel was able to receive a response from Hijikata. "I'm also an unexpected and unwanted child, but my mother still decided to give birth to me despite all the shame and oppression. I don't see why I shouldn't do the same for my own child." came Hijikata's answer. 

"I see." Katsura accepted his answer with a dip of his head. He then glanced at the setting sun and said, "A lot of children were born and struggled to survive no matter how the world rejected them."

"Are we going to talk about our childhood?" Hijikata asked, not sure where Katsura is going on with this. 

"No, it's neither yours nor my childhood. I'm talking about Gintoki's. Do you have an idea how he's been before meeting sensei?" Katsura met his eyes and Hijikata just don't have the slightest idea of how to reply with that. He's not even sure who Katsura is referring to as sensei, so he remained silent. Sensing that Hijikata won't give a reply soon, Katsura filled the silence with a following statement.

"Hijikata, all of us especially Gintoki.. Have lost someone really dear to us. We fought hard to take back that person, but in the end, we all failed. Gintoki carried all that burden on his back and chose to carry on with his life along with that burden. He's been through a lot."

"Why are you telling me this?" Hijikata asked, trying to see how it fits Katsura's question that started this kind of conversation. 

"Because I don't want him to lose another one again. Take good care of the baby." Katsura said as he turned his back and walked away. 

Those words left Hijikata speechless, and considered for a moment how Gintoki must be taking things. Sure, Gintoki is without a doubt determined to protect the baby at all cost even if it means bearing with Hijikata for the entire duration of this madness. For once, he considered the possibility that the yorozuya boss can actually take care of the baby better that Hijikata can. Hijikata has no background in taking care of a baby, let alone raise one. In another note, his work mainly takes the course of no return, in which he might not be able to come back alive to his child. Should he just... Leave the baby in the yorozuya's care? 

Hijikata almost felt the serious ambiance of the situation until Katsura came back with a radio and his rapper outfit. 

"What are you doing? You just completely ruined the sentimental moment!"

"Taking good care of the baby means being able to sing a great lullaby. Now let's start." It's like this Katsura has no idea what just happened prior to this scenario. 

"I'm not singing!"

"This is for the baby! There's nothing to worry about. You've got the best man to teach you," Katsura played the music and Hijikata can't call this beat a lullaby at any rate.

"I thought you said it's a lullaby!" It's obviously a far cry from how Katsura implies it to be. 

"This is the new trend in music. Your taste in music is too retro. Admit it, your kid is in an entirely different generation. Kids these days get bored and sleepy with your classic lullaby." Katsura shook his head dramatically, irritating Hijikata. 

"That's the point of lullabies! Putting babies into sleep!" Hijikata continued to argue against the idea, though it looks pretty much pointless. 

"Stop complaining and start singing." Katsura went of with the beat and started to sing/rap. "Yaru nara ima shika ne~ ZURA Yaru nara ima shika ne~ ZURA *Joi ga Joy!*Joi ga Joy!" 

"What kind of lyrics was that?!"

"That's the top of the Daon chart this week. Tsk tsk tsk. I knew it. You really have no idea about what the kids these days like. They love upbeat music."  
 _'That's right. Fall into my trap. I just have to work in the shadows and subliminally influence the baby to go to our side. This is brilliant. What did I tell you Gintoki?'_  
"Now, repeat after me. *Joi ga Joy!*Joi ga Joy!"

"The hell! I'm not singing that!"

"You leave me no choice." Katsura sighed and it's Elizabeth's cue to present a slice of strawberry shortcake. 

.

.

 

Gintoki has been going from one place to another after asking the angry fruit stand owners of where Katsura have dragged Hijikata. He doesn't have an idea what Katsura is trying to do with Hijikata, knowing that he's carrying Gintoki's child. With Zura's stupidity, he can only assume the worst. He imagined a lot of scenarios in his head, but the scene that greeted him upon seeing them in the park never crossed his wildest imaginations. 

Hijikata's mouth is stuffed with strawberry shortcake while Katsura is demanding a great vocal performance using that Katsurap beat again. 

"That's not good enough! Here, you have to go with the beat." Katsura scolded. 

"But I already ran out of cake." Hijikata reasoned. Gintoki was not planning to prolong this nonsense, so he stormed his way to them. 

"Zura!" Gintoki called out. Hijikata and Katsura turned into his direction. Katsura then replied with his usual response with that nickname. 

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura!"

"Shut up!" Gintoki doesn't have time for that, so he immediately snatched Katsura away and strangled the idiot while shaking him like a baby rattle. "Are you crazy?! Why are you with Hijikata?" Katsura punched Gintoki in retaliation, effectively releasing himself. 

"I'm helping you win the baby over. Is this the thanks that I deserve after all the efforts I've exerted?"

"No one told you to help about anything. Why are you taking Hijikata from place to place?! I've been chasing after you for hours and all you've been through were screaming out food!"

"Ahem! I'm making sure that the baby is well nourished, of course. I'm telling you, Gintoki. You're not doing good enough." Katsura dramatically shook his head. "Just look at Hijikata. He doesn't look pregnant at all. Aren't pregnant people supposed to be fat? Are you even feeding him properly?"

"Listen up, pea brain. You think I didn't notice? Not all pregnant peeps get fat! I've asked the doctor about that everytime!"

"No need to worry. I've started to do my part as your soul brother to help—"

"Thank you for the food. I'm taking my Shinsengumi princess with me. I would've liked to express my gratitude for taking care of him, but I don't want to encourage this attempt again." Gintoki said and he pulled Hijikata's arm to lead him away from that place. 

Hijikata remained silent to Gintoki's surprise. Noticing that he's been holding Hijikata's wrist for quite sometime now, he finally decided that he should really let go now. The awkward silence reigned between them and it makes Gintoki think that probably he's still sort of sulky from their last exchange. He doesn't really have an idea but maybe he should just get himself a sweet and nice parfait while Hijikata can have another slice of cake or else Katsura will use it again as a bait. 

He took Hijikata into the usual place where he gets his precious parfaits and he hoped things should start getting less awkward soon. 

"Why the hell were you hanging around Zura? You knew it was him, don't you?" Gintoki started the conversation. 

"He gave me alot of free foods to eat. He won't hurt me, knowing that I'm carrying your child," Hijikata answered casually, so much to Gintoki's relief. 

"If you want to eat a lot, just tell me! Don't hang around Zura. I don't want to choose sides of who to protect," Gintoki said, adding more firewood to the conversation. At this point, he doesn't really care is that fire can spark into another fight. That sounds more comfortable than silence. 

"I don't need your protection," Hijikata gave a stern look. "Go ahead and protect your precious comrade. I'll both slice you up into pieces."

"No need to be so jealous about it. Just stay away from Zura and we won't have a problem." Gintoki concluded before they go into another loop of a fight. He ordered a parfait and he was informed that he's lucky to catch up and order up the last parfait.   
"Come on, order up."

"I forgot my wallet." Hijikata said plainly. Is he still mad? 

"I'm paying, so get on with it." Gintoki took the spoon and was about to scoop down on his delightful parfait, but then he paused, noticing Hijikata's stare. "What now? Stop staring. You'll offend my precious parfait."

"I want that." Gintoki traced down Hijikata's stare and found out that he's been staring at his parfait all along. 

"Ha?"

"It looks great." Of course it looks freaking great. Especially if it's the last one in the house. 

"Go get your own."

"Didn't the waitress say that it's the last one?"

 

.

* _Stare.._ *  
.  
.

 

"Ah, you made me lose my appetite. My perfect parfait is ruined now. You can have it." Gintoki pushed the parfait to Hijikata's direction, albeit disturbingly against his will. 

Hijikata's face immediately lit up and Gintoki's regret was gone in an instant. Maybe it isn't so bad for Hijikata to have his parfait. Hijikata happily ate the parfait while Gintoki is having more interest in the scene before him instead of the parfait itself. From the whole picture itself, Gintoki started to notice the minor details like the intensity of the hue in Hijikata's eyes to the perfect nose and the soft lips he's —. Wait, just freaking wait. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! 

Gintoki is about to have a damn internal breakdown while Hijikata is still blissfully eating his parfait. What was he thinking?! Sure, Hijikata is really attractive as fuck, but why is gintoki suddenly wanting to kiss him?! Relax, Gintoki. It's just because of Number 15. The V bangs Mayora isn't normally this adorable while eating a parfait. He's normally very disgusting when he happily eats his almighty mayonnaise. 

Gintoki scratched his head. What's wrong with him? He's not supposed to be bothered by these kind of stuff. He gave another stare at Hijikata just to confirm his theory and it took him quite sometime to formulate a conclusion. 

"Hijikata." Gintoki called out, successfully having the vice-commander's attention. Crap, he looks too adorable with that confused face (because the lines due to too much frowning are thankfully absent). Gintoki was speechless for a moment and Hijikata got irritated, causing him to glare again. 

"I thought you have something to say." In just a blink of an eye, that adorable face is gone and altogether, Gintoki snapped out of it. 

"Yeah." Gintoki cleared his throat. "I was just thinking. You're an ikemen so it would be nice if number 15 will inherit your looks."

"Ha?"

It took a red flustered Hijikata before Gintoki realized what he said just implied. Looks like a red flustered is now a contagious facial deficiency or just a trend when Gintoki can't help but mirror Hijikata's expression. He can't take Hijikata's confused stare anymore so he avoided his gaze and thought of some way out of this. 

"I—I mean, it would be troublesome if the kid will inherit my natural perm instead, and—" he glanced at Hijikata again and he just realized how big of a mistake that was. Whatever excuse he was trying to say, he totally forgot about it. 

"Uh— Did you —"

"Yeah, I just said you're so damn attractive! What's wrong with that?! I want my kid to be attractive too!" Gintoki, feeling cornered, blurted out. 

"How can you just say that?! Don't you have a strand of embarrassment left in your skin, stupid perm?!"

"I'M SO DAMN EMBARRASSED, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW!" Gintoki yelled back and he just realized how big of a disturbance they are to the other customers. He can tell that the manager is about to kick them out, so he piped down. "J—just finish your parfait, Hijikata-kun."

Hijikata numbly nodded and continued to eat. After a couple of seconds, he paused and mumbled, "Thank you."

Gintoki sunk in embarrassment. "Don't thank me, stupid."

 

 

After the long day, both of them decided to go back home. Gintoki is thinking of preparing a proper meal for the new glutton in the household after all. As they were about to get inside, Gintoki suddenly felt an eerie feeling as if there are eyes watching them. He turned around and observed the surroundings. After the quick scan, he narrowed his eyes on the dark alley a few meters away from them, making Hijikata notice that he is stalling behind. 

"What is it? Is something out there?" Hijikata inquired, checking out what's outside as well. 

"Nothing. It must be just my imagination." Gintoki said, pushing Hijikata back inside, though he somehow felt that they're still being watched. He brushed it off and thought that if there really is someone lurking around, he'll deal with it if it dares to get any closer.

Meanwhile, as the two were already inside, a figure slowly emerged from the dark alley. The unknown persona took a drag of smoke and said, "This place looks just the same. Just like you, huh?" with a scoff, the said person left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, let's get to the plot. Thank you for reading!


	9. Safe Doesn't Mean Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Which part of the 'I want you safe' is not clear to you?" Gintoki argued. 
> 
> "You don't want me safe. You want your kid safe. That's crystal clear to me,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Errors ahead

It's awfully hot in summer, that's for sure. Everyone in the yorozuya is melting in the heat and the poor establishment can't even afford a decent fan to accommodate all four of them dying in the heat. They fought over it for quite sometime and it ended up broken because of the assault.. again. 

"Why don't you guys get an air conditioner?!" Hijikata sneered in frustration. 

"It's not about the 'don't,' bakufu dog. It's actually 'can't'. We don't have money for that." Gintoki replied with a scoff. 

"Oh right. I forgot how piss broke you are." Hijikata spat. "I should've asked Yamazaki to bring the car here or I'll just go over there and visit it's not this hot in my office." Hijikata grumbled to himself. 

"You should probably change now, Hijikata-san. Your clothes are really soaked with sweat." Shinpachi suggested. Only then, the other people noticed how unusually wet Hijikata's kimono is. There were two specific wet spots which are the maliciously located on the fabric covering his pectoral muscles, and Gintoki can't help but stare and wonder why. It's not where you usually sweat too much. 

Feeling awfully sweaty and greasy all over, Hijikata stood up and conceded to the idea of taking his second bath of the day, in hopes of freshening up himself as well. He went inside 'their' room and grabbed some clothes then proceeded to his bath. 

A couple of minutes later, they suddenly heard the vice-commander calling out for Shinpachi. The trio, confused as to why would Hijikata would call out Shinpachi exchanged confused gazes. The glasses wearing human stood up and went over to hear out what Hijikata needs, and the curious perm head stood up as well in pursuit. 

"Come on, does the mayora need toilet paper? I told you to get one Patsuan," Gintoki groaned.

"What is it, Hijikata-san? Did you forget your towel?" Shinpachi called out at the closed door. 

"Uh.. Where do you keep your bandages here?" came the reply from Hijikata. 

"Eh?"

"Ah, you can just tell me where they are. I'll get them myself if—" Hijikata didn't get to finish his sentence when Gintoki suddenly butted in. 

"HOI! What do you mean bandages?!" Gintoki shouted with a series of banging against the door. "What do you need them for?! Calling out Patsuan so I won't know you're injured?!"

"I'm not fucking injured, dickhead!"

"Oh yeah? Then what do you need bandages for? To wipe your ass?"

"No, you idiot! Why would I use a bandage like that?!"

"So what do you mean with bandage? Oh, I didn't know you have that kind of kink, Hijikata-kun. You should've told Gin-san earlier. I would've gladly tied you up in the room so you won't get injured like that ever again."

"What kind of ideas are you having?!"

"If you don't want me to get more ideas, open the damn door and let me see your injury!" the loud banging resumed. 

"Shut up and just get me that damn thing!"

"Like hell I would! Let me see your injuries and I'll cover you with those bandages you're asking for!"

"I told you, I'm not injured!" Hijikata insisted. 

"Then what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I'm lactating, you fucktard!" Hijikata Finally opened the door with a red face and a towel wrapped around him to cover his lower regions. 

.  
.  
.

"Oh." Gintoki is shamelessly staring. 

"Don't oh me, perm head!" Hijikata snapped and threw the shampoo bottle to the said perm head. "Get me the damn bandages! NOW!"

"Are you sure you don't want me to buy you a bra? Your boobs are starting to look like a woman's b-cu—"

And by that, Gintoki won the jackpot worth a major black eye. 

.  
.  
.

 

Hijikata had enough of the heat. If only he can go around half naked like someone he unfortunately knows. Now, he's not just dying in the heat, he's also uncomfortable with the restrictions of the bandages. 

"That's it, I'm going to the headquarters."

"Why would you go there? We have an appointment today with the doctor."

"That's for later. For now, I need my office's ac," Hijikata said as he took his sword with him and this time, he made sure to bring his wallet with him and the mayonnaise lighter which he still won't be using. He's just bringing it out of habit. 

"I'm going with you then. I want that ac too."

"No, you're staying here and fix the plumbing problem. I've had enough seeing your ugly mug all day."

"Oh so it's like that? Are you even really after the air conditioner or you want to see someone else's ugly mug?" Gintoki sat up. He bets he just wanna see Sougo.

"A change of scenery would be nice, yes," Hijikata said as he opened the door and Gintoki bolted out of the couch. That does it. He stopped the door before Hijikata can slide it shut. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Hijikata asked with a glare as a package. 

"I'm going with you." Gintoki replied as he took his boots to wear them. 

"I told you—"

"I heard you. I ignored that the first time just fine. What makes you think I'll let you walk off alone again. Who would you follow because of food this time? Jeez you'll get number 15 food poisoned." Gintoki justified, effectively stopping more of Hijikata's complaints from coming, though he's wearing that glare again. 

Gintoki should thank Katsura for validating this excuse for him. Not letting Hijikata walk off alone is one thing. Another is that... Sougo will be there. Hijikata has been staying with him for more than a month now and the sadistic bastard never failed to annoy him every single day. It gets worse when the gorilla visits as well. Though Hijikata says Sougo is annoying him and not Gintoki, the perm head is awfully confident that the joke is on him every time. The insults are too tailor fit for him to agree with Hijikata. 

They made it into the Shinsengumi headquarters and sure enough, the young sadist was there. He didn't stay long with his excuse no longer valid and Hijikata's persistent reminder about the plumbing, so Hijikata had the time to work on something he was concerned about. Thus, the real reason of coming over to the barracks. 

Recently, Sougo's visits weren't just to do his usual antics. He slips in reports and talks about the rumored joi activity going on on the city. Hijikata is almost a hundred percent sure that Gintoki can hear them despite pretending to be asleep or else doing something to keep hin occupied while he talks with Sougo about work. It doesn't really matter anymore when he gets pretty much involved with everything that goes around Edo especially the Kabukicho. 

"You'll set out in thirty minutes, won't you?" Hijikata asked Sougo as soon as Gintoki left. 

"I bet that's why you're here. I almost thought you're not coming. Did Danna hold you down?"

"As if he actually can." Hijikata scoffed, though Sougo is pretty sure Gintoki actually can hold Hijikata down in so many ways that he'd rather not enumerate.

"If he did not let you come here, I'll just ask Yamazaki to give you updates about the stakeout." Sougo handed him the reports. "Change of plans. We're going to their laboratory."

"What do you mean laboratory? Another demonic sword manufacturing?"

"That's very unoriginal, don't you think? Oh well, that's not what Yamazaki found inside the ship. It doesn't look like they're manufacturing something. Yamazaki didn't find any product or evidences of a product being produced." Sougo said as he presented Yamazaki's report. Thankfully it is not an essay this time. 

"What else should you produce in a laboratory then?" Hijikata reviewed the papers and saw a photo of a machine inside the laboratory. It looks like an oversized washing machine.

"What's this?" Hijikata pointed at the photo. 

"Ah. That, we don't know anything else aside from the fact that it looks like a giant washing machine and they have it inside." Well isn't that very helpful?

"How is this stakeout approved with such evidence in hand?" Hijikata questioned. The approved stakeout was supposed to be the factory owned by a joi rebel sponsor. 

"That's because the lab was said to be owned by the same alias called Masako-san. Plus, it looks more suspicious. As you said the other day, the factory looks like a mere decoy to avert our attention. You told us to investigate other properties so we found this. We're just following your orders, Fukucho." Sougo drawled in the last statement, mocking Hijikata in an obvious fashion.

"You should've told me about this earlier!" Hijikata groaned. He hates being informed the last minute. 

"I'm telling you now, aren't I?" Of course, Hijikata wants to argue that it's not the same thing, but he can save the useless lecture for later. As of now, they're running out of time and the troops have to be in position as planned. Who arranged the plan anyway? It's a new location, isn't it? 

"Who is leading this operation again?" Hijikata inquired, quite worried about the answer he's afraid he already knows. 

"I am the next in command, so I was thinking it's a given, fukucho-san." Sougo gave another mocking retort again. As expected, Hijikata's absence is an opportunity for the young sadist to step up and dispose of him.   
"So are we good to go or what?"

"They're relocating in the next 45 minutes, so there's no helping it." Hijikata replied as he skimmed the reports. "There's no faster way to catch them red handed."

Expecting the approval despite all the sermon, Sougo proceeded to set out along with the troops for the said stakeout. Hijikata can only sigh and stay in his quarters as he reviewed the reports. He then inquired Yamazaki about the genius plan Sougo formulated and studied it further. He can't help but feel that there's something wrong. 

For the next thirty minutes or so, a report was then received from the stakeout unit.

 

"Fukucho!! It's an emergency! Okita-taicho called for a back up!" Yamazaki called out, surprising Hijikata. Sougo is not fond of the idea of calling a back up with Hijikata. 

"Where is the third division?" Hijikata asked. The reinforcement is supposed to be the third division's job.

"They're already in the scene sir along with the second and fourth division. It appears that they're using toxic amanto chemicals inside the laboratory that paralyzes everyone. Okita-taicho said that they can barely move right now." Yamazaki reported. 

Hijikata scrunched his face and turned to his back as he gave Yamazaki and order. "Prepare to head out, Yamazaki. We're leaving in three minutes."

"B—but Fukuchou! You can't come!"

"Kondo-san is meeting the higher ups right now. No one can do this job better than I can." Hijikata justified as he prepared himself for setting out. 

"Your baby, Fukuchou! We can't let you go out there and fight! I'm begging you, Fukuchou, everyone is going to kill me!"

"And I'M going to kill you if you don't shut up and get out of my way! Our troops are dying out there and you're still treating me like an invalid personnel!"

"Ah—aaa but—" Yamazaki was still about to say another objection and Hijikata effectively shut him up by drawing his sword. "H-hai! Right away, sir!" Yamazaki saluted and hurriedly went on his way to make reparations. 

Hijikata clicked his tongue and took off his day off kimono to change into his uniform. The pants are one thing. The did he get that fat, or is this really how it goes with his baby bump. He took a mental note to get new pants after this. He then went to check for other trousers he can adjust into his current size. He doesn't want to squish the baby after all. After remedying his pants, the next struggle was his white button up shirt. He can't believe this. The ends can't meet. Is he supposed to just wear a plain white T-shirt now? Maybe he should. Just when he's about to do something about it, his door suddenly slid open, revealing a silver head samurai.

 

"Why are you wearing your uniform?" Gintoki eyed him from head to toe. "We're going to see the doctor, aren't we?"

"I have to go with them in this operation." Came Hijiiata's reply as he rushed his movements. They don't have that much time after all. 

"Really? Oi, Jimmy! Where is your gorilla commander?" Gintoki called out as he stormed on the hallways of the headquarters. The unfortunate Yamazaki was then caught.

"Eh? Uhh, Danna. The commander is not here for—" Yamazaki's response automatically seemed worthless to Gintoki, so the silver head samurai acted as if he didn't hear anything. 

"Kondo-san! Come on gorilla. Gin-san has tasty bananas for you!" Gintoki scanned the entire place with long strides. 

"Oi! Don't go around causing a ruckus!" Hijikata went after the silver head perm. "Listen up. Kondo-san is not here and this is an urgent operation. They need me there."

"Ah so? Do you see that baby bump that your button up shirt can't cover anymore? Are you seriously bringing my kid to your operation?"

"I don't have a choice, okay? I have to be there!"

"No you fucking don't." Gintoki gave a firm refusal. 

"What makes you think I should listen to you?" Hijikata crossed his arms in a challenging gesture to Gintoki. Hijikata has no idea how much Gintoki wants to use those bandages to tie Hijikata up right now. Why can't he just listen?! 

"Can you at least put the baby first before your damn job?" Gintoki mirrored Hijikata's face with another glare. Hijikata clicked his tongue and before Hijikata can voice out more of his complaints, Gintoki grabbed the vice-commander's sword and gave a dead serious face. "You better think this through and get it inside your thick head. I swear I'll kill anyone that will put number 15 in any harm, Hijikata."

 _'That includes me huh.'_ Hijikata thought and gave a resigned posture. Though the silver head samurai is supposed to take that as a victory, it disturbed Gintoki to see Hijikata's hurt face. Hijikata can only tighten his fist and grit his teeth, deciding to walk away and get the hell away from there. 

Before he can turn around though, Gintoki caught his wrist and said, "That's why, I'm going with you."

"Ha?"

"I can't let you go around unsupervised the second time around especially when you're lactating." Gintoki turned his back and went on his way while still blabbering his mouth. "We don't even know yet how it is going to affect your body more than it already does. Ah really! We're supposed to see the doctor today. Why the hell are you so workaholic? Oh that's right. You married your work. Jimmy! Where the hell are the others? Let's go before Okita-kun kills everyone without leaving us anything useful."

"O—oi, Yorozuya!" Hijikata went after him as they got outside the building. Hijikata hurriedly fixed his jacket to cover his almost exposed belly. Forget about his inner shirt and vest. 

"What are you still gawking at right there? We have somewhere to go, right? Okita-kun needs back up so we shouldn't back down now." Gintoki called out as he strode to the car. 

They all rushed outside to get in the cars and Hijikata saw Kagura waiting in the gateway of the headquarters. She's drawing scribbles on the dirt until she noticed the commotion and stood up to approach Gintoki. 

"Gin-chan! What's going on? I thought we'll see the baby today." Kagura asked. Oh. That makes sense. It's not the usual check today. He's supposed to have an ultrasound today. He promised China to let her see the baby. 

"Mayora's dear Okita-kun is going to get killed if we can't make it in time. Stay here." Gintoki explained, drawling the word 'dear'. 

"Hah?! How about the baby??" Kagura complained. "Where is that sadist? I'll kick his weak ass for ruining my meet and greet with number 15!"

"That's the spirit, Kagura. Now let's teach that Okita-kun a lesson. Get in." Gintoki said as he opened the door of the Shinsengumi's car to invite Hijikata in the passenger seat. 

"I'm driving." Hijikata glared in disapproval. 

"I'm letting you come along with a price. Sit there or stay here." Gintoki said with a casual tone and blank stare, but everyone can tell that he's dead serious. Left with no other option, Hijikata begrudgingly complied. 

As soon as they arrived in the scene, Gintoki took the front line as expected and gave orders to the troops, catching Hijikata off guard. Still quite baffled, Hijikata went with Gintoki's arrangements. Instead of him leading the Shinsengumi, the Yorozuya boss is unusually being a responsible leader with such charisma and authority for the next few minutes. Hijikata gave a more detailed elaboration of what his men is supposed to do since he's more informed of the situation after reading the reports and Sougo's plan. It looks like Gintoki is doing the job of arresting people responsible too easily, confusing Hijikata of what happened. As soon as they got the evidence that they need and people responsible, Hijikata ordered his troops to clean up and withdraw. 

As soon as he finished his orders, he went on his own way inside the laboratory. He haven't seen Sougo, so there should be something more about what's going on. 

He then found his paralyzed men on the ground as he went deeper inside. He began to cover his nose with his sleeve as he examined the place. How did they get affected by the chemical? Is it airborne? 

He halted his steps as soon as he felt another presence around him. Hijikata unsheathed his sword and was about to attack the person behind him and abruptly stopped when he spotted the familiar silver perm. 

"Why the fuck are you in here?" Gintoki growled and pulled his arm. 

"Doing my job?" Hijikata retorted and pulled his arm back, yet failed to break free from Gintoki.

"Which part of the 'I want you safe' is not clear to you?" Gintoki argued. 

"You don't want me safe. You want your kid safe. That's crystal clear to me," Gintoki was caught off guard hearing it, but he didn't give off any obvious reaction to Hijikata and the mayora just went on with his piece. "I want the kid safe too, so I'm intending to protect them as well. You're not the only samurai with someone to protect here."

"What do you want me to do? I can't help but feel like this!" Gintoki complained anyway. 

"Just do the usual yorozuya. I can still hold my sword and use it effectively that I can slice you up right now." Hijikata said, proceeding deeper inside the building. Gintoki is not very fond of the idea, but he still went on with it...   
well, at least for a while until Hijikata tripped and almost fell. Almost because the alert perm head caught him just in time. 

"AH! I CAN'T DO THIS!" Gintoki shouted in frustration and carried Hijikata in a bridal style. He wanted to spare Hijikata some pride, but he can't carry Hijikata by slinging him on his shoulder. That position would mean that the baby might get squished or something. Bridal style is the safest route to take. To hell with this guy's pride. He feels too restless to let Hijikata walk around a place that screams danger all over. 

As expected, Hijikata's protests came as soon as he understood what Gintoki just did. 

"YOU STUPID— AAAHHH! PUT ME DOWN YOU STUPID PERM!!!" Hijikata said, punching Gintoki's head hard while squirming feverishly. "Put me down, I tell you!"

"Shut up! You can protect the baby by letting me protect you. See? That's called chain reaction, Hijikata-kun." Gintoki said while struggling to keep Hijikata steady in his arms. The ungrateful v-bangs vice commander pulled Gintoki's nostrils in retaliation. "Ow ow ow ow! That hurts Hijibaka!"

Despite the strong urge to hit Hijikata back, Gintoki fought over that feeling and carefully placed Hijikata inside the car. As expected, Hijikata didn't appreciate that effort and still tried to pry Gintoki off him. 

"Seriously! I get it! You can trust me on this one. I'll protect your precious Okita-kun and your Shinsengumi. Just stay there and be protected damn it." Gintoki sighed before locking Hijikata inside their own patrol car. He can get out if he really wants to, and Gintoki is very much aware of that, but he would like to believe that Hijikata will finally listen this time. He trusts Gintoki, doesn't he? That's all he needs for now. 

.  
.  
.  
.  
Meanwhile, Kagura found herself inside the laboratory and walked around. The reinforcement troops were instructed to take the immobilized shinsengumi back to receive treatment. Hijikata instructed them to retreat for now as soon as Gintoki got his hands on the cargo vehicles they were supposed to use to relocate. 

They got enough evidence for now and the only objective they have to carry out left is to retrieve wounded personnel. What Kagura is doing as of the moment is actually just wandering around. They have arrested 6 laboratory staff and about a dozen who were hired to deal with the heavy duty and labor. 

Everyone is pretty much just cleaning up without realizing the first division's captain is still out of sight. Still thinking of making the sadist pay for ruining their appointment, Kagura is determined to find him. 

She walked around more until she saw a figure of a being (she's not very sure if it's an amanto or a human) running then swiftly evaded a bazooka attack with an impressive agility. Kagura immediately ran to that direction, figuring out who caused the bazooka explosions.

"Don't even think of getting away alive in here!" came Sougo's voice and Kagura saw him riding a trolley and aiming the bazooka with a his non dominant hand since the dominant one looks oddly limp. As Kagura analyzed what's happening, it's too late for her to realize that the trolley is heading on her way. And with that, it all ended with a bang. 

"Oi China! WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!"

"You! What were YOU doing?! Riding a trolley? Are you a kid with her mom in the grocery store?!"

"I can't move my feet, uncivilized pig!" Sougo lashed out. "How else can I go after that mercenary?"

"Ah? What mercenary?" Kagura asked. 

"That bastard who just got away! Oh that's right. What are you doing here? I figured Danna won't let Hijikata come. Did you guys come instead?"

"Mayora is here too, but Gin-chan has been mumbling about tying him up in the car while we were beating the stupid guys up. They were all weaklings. Why were you crying for a back up?"

"We already had everything under control and arrested until that mercenary came. He blasted off a chemical gas to make us go limp in our bones. Thanks to that, the fries almost got away. I hope you got that one covered."

"I told you, Gin-chan and I took care of them." Kagura crossed her arms. 

"Where is Hijikata-san?" Sougo asked, suddenly dawned with a realization as he looked around where they are. This place looks familiar, and something is missing. 

"No, you're not going anywhere near mayora! You ruined my meet and greet with number 15!" Kagura protested. 

"This is work, China pig! Whoever that bastard is, he took that machine Hijikata-san was asking about earlier." Sougo exclaimed. Everything is too blurry and awry. How did he get that thing out alone without them realizing? What was that machine? 

.  
.  
.

Left alone in the car, Hijikata was once again rereading the reports. He didn't attempt to get out after Yamazaki reported that everything is under control though Hijikata still doubted that it's everything. Someone entered the car and sat on the driver's seat while Hijikata didn't pay it any mind, assuming that it's just Gintoki. He intends to ignore the stupid perm for a while as a depiction of protest. 

"I can't believe this. You ARE pregnant." An unfamiliar voice was heard with a scoff. 

That's a cue for Hijikata to get his guard up and check who the uninvited guest is. Of all the people he expected to see, this one came out of the blue... Well again. So much for associating with Gintoki. He gets to be involved with the most twisted events and people. 

"What's the notorious leader of the Kiheitai Takasugi Shinsuke doing inside a Shinsengimi's car with me?" Hijikata put the reports down, attempting to get his hand closer to his sword as well. Takasugi chuckled, noticing this of course. 

"You don't have to bother, oni no fukucho. Put your seat belt on. We're going somewhere."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's another late update. I apologize. It's been almost done for a few days now, but I didn't get to finish it because it's been a busy week for me. I got into writing again when I got hyped with senpai's update.  
> Comments and kudos have been greatly appreciated!


	10. Don't Miss Appointments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you supposed to be here too?" 
> 
> "Why? It's uncomfortable?" Takasugi smirked. Yup, Hijikata hates him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takasugi is kinda a challenge for me, so I apologize if I made him kinda out of character. I hope I did gave him some justice though..

"Uh, wait, what?" Hijikata asked in bafflement. 

"We're going somewhere." Takasugi repeated as he turned on the engine. Hijikata's senses spiked and again, he can't believe one of Gintoki's buddies is taking him away somewhere AGAIN. 

 

"Oi! Just wait for a second! Where do you think you're taking me?!" Hijikata tried to reach out and stop Takasugi but then the midget chose that as the perfect opportunity to hit the gas. In result, Hijikata slumped back on his seat. 

"I said put on your seatbelt. Isn't that a protocol in riding a car, vice commander-san?" Takasugi replied. 

"Give me a great reason for me not to arrest you right now." Hijikata spat. 

"Because I'm driving and if you do something stupid, someone else might seriously get hurt," Takasugi gave a straight answer while eyeing Hijikata from the rear mirror. He has a freaking point.

"This better be important." Hijikata grumbled, begrudgingly putting on his seat belt. 

"I don't go around wasting my time, unlike most people." Takasugi replied. Hijikata was pretty sure he meant either Gintoki or Katsura. Scratch that. He actually thinks it's both. 

"So you're here. How are you related to that incident?" Hijikata took the chance and asked. His presence in Edo clearly means trouble. 

"Is this an interrogation, vice commander?" The midget has the nerve to look down on him. 

"Would you prefer I put cuffs on you first?" Hijikata glared. 

Takasugi chuckled in response. "It's too early to spill things out, don't you think?" In Hijikata's opinion, he already hates the guy even more this time. What does he think this is? A mystery thriller movie? What's up with that evil voice and villain face he's putting up every time? He's not doing that in purpose, is he? 

.  
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Gintoki and his dumb luck found his way in the back of the lab when he suddenly heard a loud explosion. And here he thought it's already clear. He's suddenly relieved that he managed to force Hijikata to stay in the car. 

The yorozuya boss decided to head straight where the explosion erupted. To his surprise, a figure with a *rounin-gasa and shaggy clothes (Gintoki can't even call those clothes anymore. They look like rags). 

"Don't let him escape, Danna!" To his surprise, right behind the shaggy person is Sougo on a trolley with a bazooka and Kagura pushing the trolley in a motor speed. Gintoki didn't sign up for this. Oh wait, he actually did. So much for giving his word to a workaholic mayora. 

Not letting the rounin looking dude escape, he attacked and swung his wooden sword. To everyone's disbelief, the said rounin matched Gintoki's pace and evaded Gintoki's attack in a swift motion despite the fact that he isn't supposed to stop abruptly his momentum from running. This is why they always say never to underestimate your enemy. 

Taking things seriously this time, Gintoki gave another blow before the mercenary can land his foot and regain his balance. This forced the said mercenary to draw his sword which was wrapped with bandages just like his hands and face. The mercenary managed to defend himself and blocked the attack with the sword. In order to regain balance without slamming his back hard against the floor, he used his hand against the floor to flip himself up and land back on his feet. 

This time, Gintoki, Sougo and Kagura can see him clearly. He's about 165 cm tall if they have to consider the rounin hat. Kinda shorter than he expected. He must be a brat. At some point though, something seems off. 

Sougo blasted out another shot of his bazooka and Kagura jumped in the fight. Right after the mercenary was able to dodge it as expected, Kagura swung her umbrella. The rounin drew his sword once again and blocked Kagura's umbrella. Another series of blows were exchanged and Gintoki found an opening to land a hit on him while he's occupied with Kagura. Noticing this, the rounin kicked Kagura off his close range proximity, but he wasn't fast enough to fully dodge Gintoki's attack. In a blink of an eye, Gintoki sensed hesitation in the heat of the moment. The rounin-gasa then ripped off as a result. 

The rounin retaliated a blow that Gintoki immediately blocked and both parties exchanged a few blows. It's like dancing. Their moves looked too synchronized that Sougo can almost say that it's choreographed. Gintoki noticed this as well, so he decided to step up and resort into his unthinking swings. This time, the rounin is more prone to blocking and dodging instead. One solid attack landed on Gintoki when the rounin kicked him to the wall, revealing an air vent that leads outside. 

Gintoki immediately stood up and charged towards his enemy. To his surprise, the rounin intentionally skid on the floor and went through the gap between Gintoki's legs straight towards the the air vent hole in the wall to get out. 

"Ah! That coward! Get back here! If Hijikata finds out I let you escape, he will never listen to me again!" Gintoki chased after him and went through the same hole, though it's not as swiftly as the rounin did. The hole looks small for him. 

"Leave it to me, Danna," Sougo said as he took his aim of the bazooka. Gintoki was voicing oit his opposition towards the idea, but Sougo of course didn't listen and blasted the wall off along with Gintoki. 

The wall was totally busted and Gintoki managed to survive that blast along with some scraps from the wall. It appears that he managed to get through is a rush, but still blew off with the explosion. What did he expect? It's the classic Sougo. He got up and looked around. Man, that bastard escaped. 

Hijikata is going to kill him. He can already imagine what Hijikata would say. It's surely along the lines of "I knew it!" "See, you can't do it!" "I told you!". Yeah, something like that. It's gonna be harder to force Hijikata to stay put next time. 

Sougo still can't move his legs, but he noticed the rounin-gasa just about his reach. He took it and examined the hat. That's weird. The first division captain glanced at Gintoki and he understood that the yorozuya boss also noticed. 

"Who was that, Okita-kun?" Gintoki asked. "He could've landed a direct hit that time, but he just tried to dodge it. His grip on the sword says that he thought of slicing me off first before I can hit him." 

Gintoki recalled the very moment he sliced the rounin hat off. In the back of Gintoki's mind, he seriously considered getting sliced up right there as well. If that could've succeeded, that rounin must've had his face sliced up as well, so maybe he decided not to risk it. Landing a critical hit on Gintoki that time would've meant a scarred face for him too. That must be it.

"Yeah... I was wondering the same thing, Danna." Sougo replied. "It looks like he's someone who knows the nature of your sword too. You sure you don't know him?"

"We're not even sure if it's a guy. He's too short and his built is small. It's either he's a scrawny kid or another gorilla woman."

Well, whoever it was, Gintoki has no idea who it could be. Though at various points, Sougo is right. That brat seems familiar with his sword style. In retrospect, that rounin's sword style is too familiar for him to ignore as well. The sword may be covered with bandages in the handle, but it still looks awfully familiar as well. Is this brat someone he's supposed to know? 

 

"Hey, Okita-kun. Do me a favor and don't mention this part to Hijikata." Gintoki said. 

"Why would I do that, Danna?" Sougo asked.

"So I won't push that trolley off the cliff," Gintoki replied and walked out of there. He needs a break. He just hopes that the mayora did stay in the damn car.   
Later, he'll regret that Hijikata actually stayed. 

 

"DANNAAAA!!!" Yamazaki wailed as he ran helplessly to Gintoki. 

"What is it now, Jimmy? Why are you wailing like that? Did Edo run out supply of anpan?" Gintoki groaned.

"Danna! Please don't kill me! Fukucho— the car— the fukucho—!"

"Did that bastard escape again?" Gintoki is not that surprised actually. 

"Ah, no, danna. Actually, he.. Uh.." Yamazaki felt more lost that he previously was. 

"Oh, really? We don't have a problem then." Gintoki shrugged. 

"No no no no, Danna! Wait! Someone— someone took the car fukucho was in!" Yamazaki said with closed eyes. Not hearing the response he's expecting, he slowly opened his eyes and peeked at Gintoki's reaction. In contrast to Yamazaki's expectations, the yorozuya boss was just as bored and uninterested as he was before.   
"Ah... Danna?" Yamazaki asked, confirming if Gintoki actually understood what he just said. 

"Why are you freaking out just because of a petty crime? I'm sure Hijikata already killed that bastard right now. The car should go back anytime soon."

"Uh.. That's what we thought, Danna, so we waited for sometime, but it didn't —"

"Aaah, really. Your cars have a radio right? Use your brains dammit." Gintoki walked towards the direction outside while scratching his head. Yamazaki is not sure if he should be relieved with this kind of reaction, but it's better than a freaking out Gintoki, right? 

.  
.  
.

This is just beyond uncomfortable. Being with Katsura is ten times a lot better. How do you even talk to this guy? How do you talk to a fugitive? Well, that's not a really big deal for Hijikata. He can talk to them just fine if you count interrogation as 'talking'. He did open that interrogation mode scenario, but apparently, Takasugi blew it off. 

Hijikata doesn't even have an idea what's going inside Takasugi's mind, and what he intends to do with him. Is he even in good terms with Gintoki? At least with Katsura, Hijikata can be sure that he won't do anything too harmful to the child. Takasugi however... He will have to bet that they're not in very great terms. 

 

As he weighed things over, he's formulating his escape plan that he can normally do successfully if only he's not worried that the baby will get hurt. He can just jump out of the car, attack Takasugi while driving or whatnot. Everything he's coming up with will end up with him dealing with a casualty that would also take a toll on his baby. 

While filling the uncomfortable silence with thoughts of finding a solution to his predicament, the radio of the car suddenly gave off a message. 

**"This is the Shinsengumi! Who are you and where are you taking the vice-commander?!"**

_'Harada?'_ Hijikata can identify the voice. 

**"Answer us! If you—"**

**"Gosh, hand that over, baldie."** It's obviously Gintoki's monotonous voice. **"Oi, oi, oji-san? This is Gin-san. I left my porn magazines in that car. Please give them back. I just rented them and I haven't checked them out yet."** The perm has the freaking nerve! 

Takasugi however didn't take the joke and didn't take the straight man route either. 

"I don't care about your dirty magazines." Takasugi answered, unfazed of Gintoki's attempt at humor. 

"Don't be like that oji-san. I can lend it to you for a while, 'kay? Just let me finish reading it first and Gin-san can promise that he'll let you borrow it." Again with this annoying third person way of talking. 

"Keep your dirty magazines. I'm not desperate like you. You should've stopped reading such kinds of things. You're no longer a hormonal teenager, Gintoki."

 **"Wha— TAKASUGI! Where are you taking him?!"** Gintoki finally realized the situation. 

"Oh?" Takasugi smirked wickedly. "You're suddenly so angry right now."

"Ah here I thought you're the last person I know who'd do the same stupid thing that Zura did! Bring him back here and preserve your character! You're ruining your own image!"

"I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I'm doing this as an official business. I was asked to do this, you see."

"Asked?" this time, Hijikata spoke. Takasugi just gave him a curt glance in response and the smirk absent on his features. "Who asked you?"

"Doing this is partly to confirm their identity as well, so I can't really tell even if I'd like to."

**"Oi, midget! If you don't want me to chop down another foot of your height, bring him back here! NOW!"  
**

"Maybe I will if I finished my business with this guy."

 **"Oi! Oi! Midget! I'm serious! If something happens to my—"** before Ginroki can spit more death threats that he doesn't need, Takasugi broke the connection once and for all. 

"I didn't expect him to turn into a very doting father," Takasugi scoffed, quite amused. 

"What do you want with me?" Hijikata groaned. At least there's a bit of an assurance that the kid won't be in a big threat for now. Someone requested this? Hijiata honestly has no idea who that could be. Someone that can make Takasugi Shinsuke do this himself? Hijikata would love to meet someone like that. 

"Go to your appointment with the doctor. I had to make sure that person is telling the truth." and this mystery person again. Who would want Hijikata not miss his ultrasound and ask Takasugi to take him there? Is this fugitive shitting him? 

"And you expect me to just believe that and let this to go nice and easy?" Hijikata asked, partly amused. 

"Nice and easy isn't very interesting now, is it?" again with the wicked smirk. Never in his lifetime did Hijikata imagine to see this terrorist driving a car with him, let alone quietly (albeit Hijikata won't use the term peacefully). 

Finally, the car was put into stop and Hijikata saw this as a perfect opportunity for his escape plan. 

"We're here." Takasugi said as he unbuckled his seat belt. Before Hijikata can do anything, Takasugi is already a step ahead of him. Kawakami Bansai is outside opening his door like an insolent chauffeur. 

It didn't surprise Hijikata how arrogant (or overly confident) he is when he entered the hospital. At first, Hijikata thought it's all just because he knows he won't be in jail on his watch, but he finally understood when he noticed how empty the hallways are. 

"Get out of Shinsuke-sama's way!" Kijima Matako said, pointing the gun at anyone who dared to make a more. That blonde Takasugi fangirl huh? So the Kiheitai is here? 

"Don't get too excited, Matako. We don't want our patient stressed out," Takasugi said as he pressed the elevator button. 

Takasugi went on as if it's just another day in his own flat. Hijikata would've wanted to just run away or slice the bastard down like what he should be doing, but here's the thing, Gintoki is right. This is not just some small time joi faction. He's dealing with the Kiheitai. He can't be reckless right now. He's totally outnumbered and he's not sure of Takasugi's intentions. One wrong move and the baby will be in a dire peril. All he can do now is believe that Gintoki is on his way now. As much as he hates asking favors or relying on others, he'd have to deal with it for now. What is the Edo police doing?! The Shinsengumi is still in that laboratory, aren't they? 

"Hi—Hijikata-san. Welcome." Yamada sensei said, clearly nervous. "Uh... So Sakata-san is not with us today. Please lay down." 

Hijikata was about to comply though he suddenly felt a chill running through his spine. He glared daggers at Takasugi who just gave him a questioning stare.

"Are you supposed to be here too?" Hijikata asked Takasugi. It's weird for someone like Takasugi to see him having his ultrasound. 

"Why? It's uncomfortable?" Takasugi smirked. Yup, Hijikata hates him. 

"It's creepy," Hijijata prefers using blunt words. 

"Deal with it," Of course, why would Hijikata expect this guy to spare him some pride? "Go ahead and do your thing," Takasugi then referred to the doctor. Yamada sensei nodded in response and proceeded on his job. 

"Please lift your shirt Hijikata-san," the doctor requested. 

"You're seriously going to watch? I'd appreciate a little privacy at least," Hijikata glared. 

"That's not my problem. How am I supposed to confirm something if I won't see it for myself?" Takasugi argued with the same sinister grin. "Are you that embarrassed, vice commander?"

"You want me to widen that smirk with my sword for you?" Hijikata is itching to kill this guy. He'd love to do that now. 

"Ah, please calm down, Hijikata-san," the doctor tried to calm him down then faced Takasugi. "Sir, please refrain from stressing out the patient."

"Ah? Are you trying to tell me what to do?" more of that menacing aura spewed out of Takasugi's signature villainous look. 

"O—oh of course not, sir. Please make yourself comfortable. I'll proceed now," the poor doctor shivered and faked a laugh in fear. He then went back on his job. "Your shirt please, Hijikata-san."

He doesn't really have that much of a choice, does he? Hijikata begrudgingly lifted up his shirt and the doctor asked for permission to put the gell on his stomach. He can't really refuse now, can he? Of course, he should just do as he's told. 

_'Oh shit! That's cold!'_  
Hijikata hissed as the gell was applied on his baby bump and the bastard Takasugi has the nerve to smirk like he's looking down on him! 

"Here's your baby, Hijikata-san." Hijikata snapped out of it and his attention was now on the monitor with a vague image of a bean. Is that.. supposed to be his kid? 

The doctor's words fell deaf on Hijikata's ears. He just kept on staring at the monitor. He knew that a living thing is really inside him, but the feeling once he saw it is completely another story. He didn't even notice the sirens outside the hospital. Takasugi eyed Hijikata's features with a cold stare, though he's quite amused with his expression. 

"Shinsuke-sama! The bakufu dogs are now here!" Kijima Matako went inside the room with urgency. 

"I've seen enough." Takasugi said, taking his leave. He gave a final glance at Hijikata with a smirk before leaving the room. 'Who would've thought.'

In just a few seconds, Gintoki came dashing inside the room. 

"HIJIKATA! Do you have an idea who you went along with this time—" Gintoki immediately shut his mouth, seeing a surprised Hijikata before him. Looks like he didn't realize they're already here before Gintoki came screaming at him. That's not what really shut Gintoki up though. 

"Oh. Yorozuya, You're here." Hijikata said, kinda absentmindedly. 

"That bastard! I'm going to kill him." Gintoki grumbled, his dark aura snapped Hijikata back to his senses and grabbed his arm to stop him. 

"Wait, yorozuya. Where do you think you're—"

"What did he do to you?" Gintoki exclaimed though he doesn't need to raise his voice to convey his anger. 

"Eh?" He knows Gintoki is angry, but he's not exactly sure why. 

_'Wait, he doesn't know, does he?'_ Gintoki thought, starting to calm down. "You're crying."

"Ha? I'm not," Hijikata said and when he wiped his cheeks, he realized that he is, but the classic Hijikata he is, he denied it of course. "Oh what's this. I got dust in my eyes."

Gintoki sighed. At least he's actually fine. "Yeah sure. Wipe those dusty eyes." Gintoki mindlessly ruffled his hair to comfort him. Well, to Hijikata, it looks like he's mocking him, so he swatted Gintoki's hand with a flushed face. 

While Hijikata was busy wiping his tears Gintoki glanced at Yamada sensei, inquiring what happened with a facial gesture, and the good doctor pointed at the monitor. 

"Number 15?" Gintoki's eyes widened. "Woah, he looks just like me!"

So he's emotional over seeing their baby... Gintoki heard it's a hormonal thing for mothers to feel like that. He can feel the same warmth in his chest as well, but he didn't 't want to cry like Hijikata here. They're not watching My Neighborhood Pedoro. He prefers a blissfully happy Hijikata or the normal one over a crying one though. Wait, those were tears of joy, right? Yup, they're tears of joy. It's just that... It's kinda giving a weird tingling sensation in his chest to see him like that. 

"What the fuck are you talking about? We can't even see the face yet." and that's how you summon back Hijikata's frown. Mood swings is really quite handy. 

"See those broken lines right there?" Gintoki pointed out the lines on the figure that the doctor explained as the baby's head. "That's obviously my perm!"

"What?!"

"Sakata-san, the baby doesn't have a hair yet," Yamada sensei said. 

"See? Stop saying stupid things," Hijikata said, now back to his usual self. That's better than a crying Hijikata. 

"What's wrong with having this fantastic perm?"

"I thought you said the other day that it would be troublesome for the kid if he will inherit your natural perm!"

"Ha? I said that because—" Gintoki stopped himself. He can't exactly say that he just said that as an excuse for calling Hijikata an ikemen. Now what? The mayora is actually waiting for what he's about to say!

"Gin-chan! How dare you leave me out! Ka-chan wants to meet the baby! You promised, mayora!" Kagura came inside as well. Gintoki was then saved from trying to find another excuse to tell. 

Sougo wasn't around, but he didn't ask about him. Gintoki hates the idea of Hijikata always looking for Sougo and China is not very fond of him either. But he didn't think about it much as of the moment. He didn't expect that it would be fun seeing a doting Gintoki and a persistent China who's trying to act like a grandma. Hijikata forgot to ask about what happened in the stakeout. Well, he can ask them later. 

 

.  
.  
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A few hours later at dusk, Takasugi made it back in his ship and he saw the person covered in bandages smoking on the bow of the ship. The Rounin-gasa was then gone and the head covered with bandages is now exposed. Some stands of bandages were already loosely wrapped and were dancing on the wind. 

"So you smoke?" Takasugi asked, also pulling out his pipe. 

"I'm actually hearing that from you?" The person described as a rounin and mercenary chuckled. 

"You trust me too much, don't you? Are you who you really claim you are? I doubt you'd approach me if that's true." Takasugi said then took a drag of his pipe. 

"I have all the reasons to avoid you, but you're the only person who'll support me on this one." 

"I could've hurt him." Takasugi scoffed. 

"And you didn't," the person said and sat. "You even made an effort not to smoke around him. That only means you believed me in the first place."

"You're indeed interesting." Takasugi chuckled. He did find this person amusing as well. "Though I think I'll have to remind you. I'm not the one you know."

"Believe me, you're not that different." the so called rounin scoffed. "...not at all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here again with my usual pacing. Actually, I randomly update, so it's not really usual. Oh well, it's earlier than the last two. and I present thee the rounin character! Who was that? That's for you to find out as this story shall progress. See yah in the next chapter!


	11. Some Gets Sleepy When They're Full

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "HA?? Did you just say that Jimmy is a lot better than Gin-san here?" Gintoki protested. 
> 
> "Well at least he can give me a strawberry cake when I want one at any hour,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late, but you know what they always say. "It's better late than never!"

Hijikata Toshiro has been walking aimlessly in a place covered mostly with fog and familiar fields. His body seems light and the baby bump is gone in his abdomen. With a strange sensation, he was not alarmed with the strange absence he slowly got used to. Somehow he felt like it's not really that unusual. He had no idea how long he's been walking. He just kept on doing so until he saw a traditional house not that far. Hijikata walked towards there and to his surprise, he saw the woman he never thought he'd see there.

"Toshiro-san, okaeri," Okita Mitsuba greeted him with a warm smile. She's holding a baby with a light hair, rocking her in her arms to sleep. 

"Mitsuba..."

"She's a beautiful child, don't you think?" Mitusba said, lingering her loving eyes on the baby in her arms. Hijikata is confused. Is that her baby? Is that... his baby? What's happening?  
Mitsuba, noticing his confusion, smiled and asked, "Aren't you going to greet your child?" 

_'Your child? So it IS my kid.'_

"She really took after you, Toshiro-san. Look, you've got the same smile." Mitsuba said, and Hijikata was still at loss of words, so Mitsuba continued to speak. 

"You must be wondering why I'm here. I think you should be more concerned why ... ," the last words that came out of Mitsuba's mouth were suddenly muddled with a static noise and he all he can just observe is her mouth moving languidly as she spoke the muted message he deems important. 

Out of the thin air, the images in his mind slowly became hallow and were sucked into an abyss that he felt like falling. With a loud gasp and a couple of beads of cold sweat running down his features, Hijikata Toshiro woke up from a dream that he can't exactly call a nightmare. 

He looked around and for a moment, he was confused of where he is. Oh that's right. It's the yorozuya's room. It's been quite sometime now. He checked the justaway clock near Gintoki's head and he confirmed that it's 2:38 in the morning. He sat up and glanced at the sleeping perm head on the futon just beside his. He noted how Gintoki's futon looked suddenly too close compered on how he remembered before falling into his slumber. 

Without Hijikata's full knowledge, Gintoki usually wakes up in late hours hearing Hijikata thrashing around when is having a nightmare or just mumble unintelligibly with a pained expression. After Hijikata's first week of staying there, Gintoki learned that it stops or at least lessens when Hijikata could sense his presence. To Gintoki, perhaps anyone would actually do as long as it makes him calm down. 

With this, Gintoki usually drags his futon close to Hijikata during bad nights and Hijikata wouldn't find out, or suspect a thing since Gintoki gets up before he does. He folds his futon before Hijikata can wake up and goes ahead to prepare for breakfast. Gintoki doesn't necessarily wake up early. He's not a very morning person after all. It's just that Hijikata just wakes up pretty late. That gives Gintoki enough time to prepare. 

Suddenly waking up and finding this very discovery however made Hijikata wonder, not aware of his own sleeping tendencies. 

_'He must've watched that creepy trash add again and got scared.'_ Hijikata thought. 

Hijikata lied back down on the futon and turned his back against Gintoki. He tried to go back to sleep, yet failed to do so. It was such a weird dream. It's been a long time since he dreamt about Mitsuba and of all his dreams about her, that dream was the strangest as far as he can recall. Mostly he just sits beside her and they'll talk or he just watch her smile from a distance. Somewhere beyond his reach. That dream was quite peculiar, making him think about stuff again. What must've happened when he didn't push her away? Would they have their own family now? Would that...

Hijikata shook his head mildly. It's not like it should matter now. It was for the best. In retrospect, he is about to have his own child soon. He thought over things as he stroked his baby bump gently. It's all just a dream anyway. He should focus now on what he has in the present. At some point though, he can't help but feel like he missed something important.

Thirty minutes passed and he gave up on the plan of going back to sleep. His baby was also having a different idea anyway. He turned to face the sleeping yorozuya beside him and called him out. 

"Yorozuya,"  
There was no response from the said yorozuya. "Oi, yorozuyaaa," Hijikata stretched out his arm to reach Gintoki and poke his eyelid. Finally, Gintoki gave an annoyed expression and slowly lifted his eyelids open. 

"What is it Hijikata-kun? You wanna pee? The toilet is over there," Gintoki grumbled and gestured the direction lazily. 

"No, you idiotic perm head!" Hijikata hissed. "I want a strawberry cake."

"Ha??"

"A strawberry cake."

"Hijikata-kun, do you have an idea what time it is? You'll have cavities eating stuff like that at this hour. Sleep it off, nah?" Gintoki said nonchalantly.

"Yorozuya," Hijikata said. 

_'A warning tone,'_ Gintoki noted. 

"Okay, I'll buy you that first thing in the morning," he relented somehow. He can deal with this in the morning. 

"No,"

"What do you mean no?" Gintoki scrunched up his face. 

"I want it now," Hijikata demanded. He sounded pouty (almost whinny to Gintoki's ears) though Gintoki is pretty sure the mayora thinks he's using his vice-commander tone. This is definitely not a the _oni no fukucho_ tone, so it should be safe for Gintoki to brush it off for now. He's too beat up and tired for this. 

"Hijikata-kun, I have a job tomorrow. Let Gin-san have some sleep," Gintoki said, burying his face on his pillow. This caused a twitch in Hijikata's brow. 

"Oi, stupid perm! I said, now!" The unrelenting mayora grabbed his pillow and smacked Gintoki's head with it. 

"Aaaah leave me alone. I'm sleeping," came Gintoki's response as he took his pillow and used it to cover his head as a protection from any further violent attempt from Hijikata. However, the expected violent retaliation didn't come. Instead, the yorozuya boss heard a shuffling of cloth and soft thuds on the floor. 

"Fine, I'm getting it myself," came Hijikata's resolution, as he took the necessary clothing that a short walk at dawn would require. 

Nononono Gintoki sprang up on his feet. He'll get into another trouble again. He wouldn't want to bet another kidnapping session happening. 

"Okay, okay, I get it. I'll get you cake. Taku, you really go like this in the most inconvenient times," the silver head samurai can't do anything but mumble unintelligibly with a scratch on his permy head. He's serious about the job in the morning, but he can't exactly do anything about it now. He'd rather risk it than leaving the mayora walk around at this hour then get kidnapped by another person who would want to spend a quality time with Hijikata and their baby. 

Oh... Their baby. Gintoki didn't notice it before, but the ring of it gives an odd sensation in his chest. 

Hijikata just gave him a victorious smirk and it pissed Gintoki off. Is this guy doing this on purpose?! Whatever! He can't really do much about it. They went out and walked to a pastry shop that would be open at that hour. Of course, there would be no such luck basing on the only places they knew. 

"Aaah where do you get strawberry cakes at 3 a.m. in the morning?" Gintoki complained. 

"Here I thought you knew Edo well." Hijikata snorted. 

"Edo is freaking big, mayora. Let's settle with Kabuki chou first. I know THAT place well." 

"I should've known. Yamazaki is not as incompetent halfwit as you here."

"HA?? Did you just say that Jimmy is a lot better than Gin-san here?" Gintoki protested. 

"Well at least he can give me a strawberry cake when I want one at any hour," Hijikata huffed. He boasted out this fact without the knowledge of the struggles Yamazaki gets into just to get him one. 

"Oh wow! So you woke me up at this hour just to degrade me?!"

"I woke you up to make you get me a cake." Hijikata glared.

"Isn't that what I'm trying to do right now, you ungrateful twit?!"

Hijikata chose not to reply out loud and muttered underneath his breath while checking on his phone instead. "I should've just called Yamazaki."

 

"FINE!" Gintoki stumped angrily towards the 10th shop they checked. "There. How about this bakery?" Gintoki pointed out the Hijikata went to ask about the kind of cake he wanted. Unfortunately, there isn't one available, again. 

Hijikata sulked in disappointment upon knowing that all the places they've been to were either closed or doesn't have his precious strawberry cake. Honestly speaking, it's getting into Gintoki's nerves. But of course, the yorozuya boss is not a yorozuya boss if he's not innovative and skillful enough. He came up with a solution and took Hijikata to the grocery store where Hijikata was pretty sure there isn't a slice of strawberry cake to be found. 

 

"What are we doing here?" Hijikata asked as the natural perm started to get a grocery cart.

"Why of course, to shop, Hijikata-kun. Let's get something for breakfast while we're at it. We better spend this hour in which I'm supposed to sleep, into something productive." Gintoki replied, pushing the cart to the dairy section. 

Hijikata mindlessly followed Gintoki around and took a couple of strawberry milks with him. Before he can put them all in the cart, he passed by the section where he usually gets his mayonnaise supply. He paused for a while and glanced back and forth with the mayo and the strawberry milks in his arms. He thought how weird it is that he's shopping for those instead of his usual universal condiment. Gintoki found him and snapped him back to attention. 

Gintoki doubled the number of the strawberry milk Hijikata brought. He's not the only person fond of that of course. As soon as they finished getting all they need, they went straight back home. Hijikata, somewhat sulking, went to to the fridge and drank a strawberry milk.

Gintoki wondered if he'll go straight to bed now, but didn't. He just sat on the couch and sipped his strawberry milk with a sulky face. Gintoki sighed and put on his pink apron. He took out the ingredients he bought earlier and called out to the sulking pregnant man. 

"Hijikata-kun? You got nothing better to do?"

"Shut up," Hijikata muttered. 

"Wanna help out then?" Gintoki offered. "Let's make your strawberry cake." with that, Hijikata's head whipped his head to face Gintoki with a pair of wide eyes. Gintoki can almost see the sparkle in them. 

"Strawberry cake?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll make one, so stop sulking around," Gintoki said and Hijikata stood up from the couch. 

"I wasn't sulking," Hijikata mumbled. 

"Yeah sure, you weren't." Gintoki regarded it dismissively. 

"Bastard! You're mocking me aren't ya?!" Of course Hijikata will make a big deal out of it. 

"Pipe it down. You'll wake Kagura up. Pass me up those eggs," Gintoki said, and Hijikata complied with a pout. 

"I didn't know you bake,"

"Oh I do a lot of stuff. Gin-san is great with a lot of stuff," Gintoki boasted. "Even if I'm not good with looking for strawberry cakes at this hour, I'm great at making them at any hour."

Hijikata shot him a blank stare, knowing what he's going on about. _Is this idiot that offended?_ Hijikata thought. 

Gintoki went on with baking and Hijikata helped doing small things like passing up things and mixing. He mostly just watched Gintoki do the job, not wanting to get in the way too. He wouldn't want his strawberry cake to taste bad because of his mistake after all. 

When it's finally done, Hijikata ate it with a face full of delight. Gintoki ate with him but mostly, he just stole observant stares at Hijikata. The idiot even fell asleep while eating. His head drowsily leaned on down and Gintoki caught his head gently just in time before he can squish his cake with his face. 

"Taku, is this all it took for you to fall asleep?" Gintoki said, placing the slice of cake away from there. He was about to lift the sleepy head back to his futon when the shinsengumi vice-commander snapped back to his consciousness. 

"Wha— huh?" Hijikata asked, confused and just half awake. 

"Oh you're dreaming, Toshiro-kun. Just dreaming." Gintoki said, changing his voice into a ridiculous feminine voice. The last thing he wants right now is another wide awake Hijikata because he got cringed out (or embarrassed). And an embarrassed Hijikata is a wriggling Hijikata that pulls his nose off his face. Gintoki likes his nose, thank you very much. 

Thankfully, the idiot bought it and mumbled, "..er voice.. s weir.., ka-sa.." as he drifted back into his slumber. Wait, did he just call him... Gintoki tightened his hold on Hijikata protectively without even noticing it. He didn't expect Hijikata to let his guard down like this around him. 

.  
.

.

 

Hijikata woke up extraordinarily later than usual. Shinpachi had to wake him up to eat breakfast and when he asked about Gintoki, the yorozuya kid said he already left for a job. Lethargically, Hijikata got up and noticed one thing. This is not his futon. He looked around and wondered how he got back to the WRONG bed. Why was he sleeping on Gintoki's futon? Where is Gintoki? 

What the heck happened after he ate that strawberry cake? Did he even really eat one? Ah. Maybe he didn't. He probably went back to sleep after the failed attempt to get one. 

"Hijikata-san. Would you like to eat your left over cake?" Shinpachi asked as soon as he was about to finish his breakfast. 

"Ha?"

"Gin-san strictly said it's yours, so Kagura threw a tantrum since she wanted to eat it." Shinpachi smiled. 

_'For me, really? He actually meant his kid, right?'_ Hijikata thought. 

"Hmmph! I would've still eaten that if only it's not number 15's!" Kagura huffed with annoyance. 

_'See? I knew it.'_ Hijikata thought to himself, though at some point, he feels a pang of disappointment. 

.  
.  
.

 

"Ahh, Gin-san. You can't do anything about it now!" Gintoki said to himself as he repaired another roof. Hijikata is probably awake by now and noticed it! Why did he even— UURRGH! 

He carefully placed Hijikata down on the futon that he thinks is Hijikata's. He really did. That's until he realized he pushed his futon close to Hijikata's. Gintoki freaked out. It's not just the fact that he put Hijikata on the wrong futon, he also realized that Hijikata woke up at that hour and noticed how close the futon is! What did Hijikata think of that?! 

He really can't do anything about it now, can he? He sighed. His thoughts now drifted into thinking about various things. What now huh? Hijikata will probably visit Shinsengumi today. Yamazaki and Sougo didn't show up for almost three days now. He better find why soon. 

He managed to finish half of the job early and was allowed to take a short break for lunch. He didn't have to go back home when he managed to cook something for Hijikata in advance in the morning. He just walked to the usual dango stand where he fortunately saw Sougo.

"Yo, Okita-kun," Gintoki called out to Sougo and sat beside him in the usual dango shop. Lately he's been irritated of the brat, but he can't just hate Sougo because of something petty. He's a man in a mission, and he intends to fulfill it.

"Ah Danna. How is Hijikata-san? Managed to tie him up to avoid more kidnappings?" Sougo greeted.

"Nah, he's gonna be fine. Patsuan and Kagura are keeping him company. I gave them a strict instruction of never leaving him alone even just for a toilet break." Gintoki replied then ordered his dango to the owner. 

"Is that so?"

"By the way, you haven't been visiting for two days. It'll be three if you're not going to drop by today as well. Been busy acting vice-commander?"

"Areh, I thought you hate it when I frequently visit, Danna. You missed me?" Sougo gave a mocked flattered gesture. 

"I suppose you did tell Hijikata about that rounin hatter. Been working on that?" Gintoki chose to stay in the topic. He doesn't have much break time. 

"I had to, you see Danna. Hijikata-san mentioned something about what Takasugi told him, so of course I had to tell him so we can straighten up the path to that guy. Takasugi said that he took Hijikata to his appointment because he needed to confirm someone's identity. Apparently, rounin hatter and the one who made Takasugi take Hijikata-san to his ultrasound session is the same person."

Gintoki won't argue with that conclusion. His concern over Hijikata's appointment with the doctor and his hesitation in slicing Gintoki up is somehow related. Maybe Hijikata knows this guy too, or perhaps just one of them, though the verdict leans more on Gintoki since he clashed swords with the said person not long ago. 

"Yeah, I figured that one too, but it's just making things more confusing." Gintoki said, "Why would he steal that washing machine?"

"I interrogated the doctors we caught, but they all said that it's just a machine to wash, really. They weren't producing anything we suspect they did. Instead, they said they're just purifying and disinfecting smuggled goods that Masako-san has before he transferred them to his factory to process into another product."

"So it really was just a washing machine that big? Why would that guy steal that?" Gintoki wondered. 

"We were wondering the same thing, Danna. In fact, Hijikata-san asked me to find the guy, so he's not really expecting me to show up unless I actually find anything," Sougo explained. 

"I see," Gintoki said, enjoying his last stick of dango. "If you're a rounin hatter, Okita-kun, why would you steal a washing machine?"

"So I can sell it and use the money to get myself a better plastic surgery that won't require me to wear that much bandages," Sougo replied. 

"I think if you're that rounin, you should purify your rotten being, Okita-kun,"

"That's harsh, Danna."

 

That afternoon, Sougo paid a visit to the yorozuya and brawled with his favorite China again. He reported the information he got from the interrogation and Hijikata was not convinced that it's everything, so he suggested that they went through the stuff they have in the factory. 

Hijikata, not very fond of the idea of being guarded up 24/7 by kids, hired Kagura to assist Sougo in finding more evidence that they can use against Masako. He can actually just ask Yamazaki to do it, but then again, he's thinking of getting rid of the most annoying one first. Shinpachi is easier to handle. 

"Hijikata-san, if you care about the success of this operation, you wouldn't hire this glutton to come with me," Sougo complained in a monotonous voice. 

"I wouldn't wanna go with you either! But Mayora said he'll give me lots of sukonbu if I agreed!" China yelled. 

"Oh yeah? Well, I wouldn't want to put up with you either,"

"If you're not going, I will! Stay here then!" Kagura said and went out ahead. 

"Just go on, Sougo. We both know you're not really here to report or pay me a visit," Hijikata said, dismissing him off. 

"Hah? What are you going on about, stupid Hijikata?" Sougo said, quite irritated. 

"You know what I'm talking about. Just go and appreciate this favor," Hijikata said and Sougo thew him a disgusted look. 

"Don't go acting like a stupid matchmaker. Die Hijikata, you bastard." Sougo mumbled then went on outside. 

As soon as the door was shut close and another bickering was heard from the two, Shinpachi asked Hijikata, "Are you sure they're going to be fine, Hijikata-san?"

"Yeah," Hijikata replied. "How about you? You don't have an Otsu-chan concert to attend today? I'm gonna be fine on my own here."

"Hijikata-san." Shinpachi glanced at him and gave him a blank face. "If you're trying to get rid of me too, that's not gonna happen."

"Seriously, if you have somewhere to go, you're free to go,"

"I do have somewhere to go, Hijikata-san," Shinpachi said, fixing his glasses. "That's why, I'm bringing you with me of course! What do you say Hijikata-san? Of course, you'll come, right?"

"Ah, no, I think we should just stay ho—"

"Chome chomeeee!!!" there goes Shinpachi's heartfelt tone deaf singing. 

"Ah, Shinpachi-kun, "

"Chome chomeeeeee!!"

Okay, it's too late to stop this now. Hijikata never should've opened up the Otsu door. He never should've considered that Shinpachi is a lot easier to handle. Everyone in yorozuya is downright twisted. 

 

.  
.  
.

Meanwhile in Takasugi's ship, the machine stopped and the door opened. It released a foggy steam as the rounin emerged from inside. The said rounin is not exactly naked with enough garments to cover the parts that requires covering. Kijima Matako is not amused of the entire display though. She's not very happy of this rounin's presence there to be exact. 

"That's quite a way of taking a bath, don't you think?" Matako said, leaning on a wall as she observed the rounin collect the fresh bandages. 

"If you call that a bath. I wouldn't call it that though," the rounin replied, stepping out the chamber. 

"Do you still have to wear bandages? You already got that thing," Matako said as she walked with the said rounin, as she was required to do. 

"It's not just to quarantine this body, Matako-san. I should avoid being identified."

"Who would identify you anyway? Even Shinsuke-sama had a hard time believing who you are despite of how you looked." Mayako huffed. 

"Well, I should still be careful. I know they've been suspicious when we clashed our swords," the rounin replied. 

"That's why I said you should've chopped him down when you could. It's not like he'd die from that," Takasugi walked in with his pipe on his hand. 

"I'll try to do that next time," the rounin smiled. 

"The next time you'll see each other, I suggest you shouldn't be clashing swords again. I've made the arrangements as you requested. It will take some time, but deal with it. From then on, you'll be left in your own devices," Takasugi said, sending him a cold glance. 

"So until then, I'm under your oders?" the rounin smirked. 

"You pick things up fast. That's good," Takasugi returned the same smirk and went on his way. "Let's get things started then."

Matako sent a glare to the rounin as they followed Takasugi, thinking that the rounin is harbouring all her Shinsuke-sama's attention. She clicked her tongue, knowing that she'll just have to deal with it until such time. This shouldn't take long... Or so she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't tell us much, but that's it for now. I'm sorry it got pretty late. I've been working on my requirements to get myself a licence soon enough. For now, I present to you the chapter 11. I did say it's kinda a slow burn right? Is it taking so long? I know, it drags the plot too, but hey let's just enjoy it while it lasts. :) see yah in the next chapter


	12. Adults Run Away From Home Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ah? What pregnant man in the house? Your Shinsengumi vice-commander ran away, you idiot!"
> 
> Gintoki froze upon hearing it, the tipsy feeling suddenly evaporating out his system.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I use they*, their* or them, in first part, I'm actually referring to the ronin. I preferred using gender neutral pronouns like their and they here since in Japanese they don't really put emphasis on gender in their pronouns. Another reason is that, I didn't establish a clear indication of the ronin's gender. In other words, I'm giving you the broader scope to find out who this ronin is.

**  
The strong scent of rust filled their nose. They barely had time to rest. Cadaver after cadaver, they had to make it through. They won't make it.. But they have to.**

**##««————————————————**

**"Help me! I—I don't want to die!" the soldier screamed as slowly, an ugly purple color tainted his complexion.**

**"My child! Please! My child, save him!" a mother screamed, carrying a lifeless child with the same purple skin**

**_I have to save them... I have to— .._ **

**A shriek of agony wailed in the ronin's ears. It's a painful stab of reality and guilt. The ronin looked at their hands and it's full of blood with the scalpel and sword on their hands.**

**_Why can't I save them? Why?.. Why is this even happening?_ **

**A strong gust of wind carrying a rotten stench brushed past and suddenly, the ronin found themself back in the battle field. Looking at their hand, it's gripping the bloody sword yet again.**

**Lost and confused, the ronin just wandered on the field basked with death and soon found a pond painted with blood. They saw their reflection with dead eyes.**

**_"You are not the person you're trying to replace, you know."_ the reflection spoke. **

**_I know..._ **

**_"You killed him. You caused this."_ **

**"SHUT UP!" the rounin yelled out in frustration and attacked the reflection with their bare hands. As the whirlpool distorted the disturbing reflection, the ronin colapsed on their knees and covered their ears.  
** •  
•  
• 

**"When are you coming back over?" that voice suddenly calmed the ronin down. The ronin slowly opened their eyes and they saw the man they respect the most while lying helplessly on the bed.**

**"Eh?"**

**..**

__**#####################  
** .  
"You are not the person you're trying to replace, you know."  
°—••—«°——-###################  
.  
. 

**"I never once regret the fact that you came to my life, you know... We never did." the man on his deathbed said and a pang of sadness ang guilt crept deeply in the ronin's chest.**

**"I know.."**

**_I know_  
** .  
.  
  
The ronin gasped with a sharp inhale of thick air as they regained their consciousness. Huge beads of sweat were trickling down their features. Another nightmare, really? Good thing no tears were involved his time. 

The rounin glanced at the light illuminated by the small window and decided to stand up then head to the machine fully clothed and turned it on after getting in. 

It feels like a sauna with a variety of strong showers pointing everywhere that actually hurt with the smell of the offending disinfectants. After entire 20 minutes, the ronin finally decided to get out and grab the towel. 

 

"How many times do you have to get inside that thing to convince yourself that you're not infected?" Takasugi's voice snapped the rounin back to reality. "Do you want to run another test to confirm that over and over again?"

The rounin brushed their bangs up with their hand. 

"I wanted to clear my mind." the ronin replied. "Besides, I'm still not even sure how people get infected.

"You're asking too much of this thing. This machine can only purify physical things. Don't expect that it can purge your nightmares of the plague away. The dead won't come back."

"That's exactly why I'm here." the rounin scoffed, drying their hair. 

Takasugi eyed them and said, "We'll see about that then."

 

.  
.  
.

 

 

Sakata Gintoki was tired. He never worked this hard for years. He accepted all the jobs there is and he even had to deal with the pregnant man with his cravings and mood swings. It's about time he had enough and rest. 

That's what this day was for, his day off, finally. He slept until noon for once since the last time he can remember. He cooked Hijikata's breakfast beforehand in the evening so it should be fine. It's not just him too. Shinpachi spent his day off on an Otsu fans club meeting and Kagura... Where was she again? Gintoki vaguely remembered her trying to wake him up, and talking about this special mission she had with Sougo that was then again the mayora's brilliant idea. Wait—what? Special mission that brat! They're going on a date, aren't they?! The yorozuya boss's eyes snapped open.

"Hijikata!" Gintoki scrambled on his feet. He found Hijikata calmly reading reports that Gintoki assumed Yamazaki delivered while leaning against a sleeping Sadaharu. 

"Oh. You're finally up," Hijikata responded. 

"Where is your Okita-kun taking Kagura?!" Gintoki yelled right at Hijikata's face, quite fired up. Hijikata stared at him with wide eyes for a while before he managed a response. 

"Why are you suddenly so riled up?" Hijikata asked, definitely confused. 

"Oh don't give me that look. Shinpachi told me about that little set up you did a few days ago. Are you trying to ship our Kagura with your Souichiro-kun?"

"What 'ship' my ass are yah blabbering about??" Hijikata finally started matching the same intensity of tone. "I gave them a proper assignment. Sougo is more productive at work when he has someone to compete with. We can deal with the damages later."

"Oh? I didn't know you use job as a poor excuse to cover up your match making tendencies!"

"Ha?! What's with ya?! Just what is your problem with Sougo?!"

"See?? You're playing cupid! Not happening! Do you have an idea how that gluton's baldie of a father will react to this?! Kagura takes these things lightly like she's just taking Sadaharu into a walk! She's just a kid!"

"She's in puberty, yorozuya. Little girls grow up. Deal with it. You can't keep them forever." Hijikata sighed, lowering his tone this time. As much as possible, he's not intending to argue with Gintoki today, understanding that the perm head is definitely tired and all.

"Oh yeah?! Say that to that baldie and let's see if he'd understand!" Gintoki said and hurriedly changed his clothes. There goes his day off, worrying about Kagura's love life. "Oi, you're coming with me." Gintoki said, not intending to leave Hijikata alone. 

"Really now? You're gonna spy on them when they're spying on someone too? Are you a kid?" Hijikata complained. 

"Don't tell me how to raise and protect one! You don't even know a thing in that department. I can't believe I'm discussing this with you."

Hijikata gave him a cold glare and went back on reading reports. 

"Oi. What's this? You're ignoring me?!" Gintoki said while Hijikata slumped back his back against Sadaharu who's now wide awake because of all the yelling. Hijikata still didn't give a response nor a reaction, so Gintoki sighed in dismissal and took it as a firm refusal.

"Ah, I get it. You don't wanna go with this, so fine. I don't expect you to feel the same way. Who am I kidding? Why should I put up with you?! I'm full of your bullshit." Gintoki screamed in frustration then stormed out of the premise. "Keep an eye on him, Sadaharu! I'll be back soon." 

Sadaharu barked in response. As soon as Gintoki was out of range, Hijikata placed the reports back on the table. He turned to his side, still leaning on the amanto dog. Sadaharu whined sympathetically as Hijikata gave him as a downcast spirit. In response, Hijikata smiled weakly and patted the giant dog's head gently. 

"What's with that look? Not gonna eat my head today?" Hijikata sported a conversation and Sadaharu just continued to give him that kicked puppy look. "Come on, don't look at me like that. It's weird. Dogs are indeed more sensitive to human emotion than humans themselves, huh?" the last statement was more like a whisper to himself. 

Hijikata cuddled with the gigantic amanto dog. Maybe he should be the one to adjust. Gintoki is right after all. He really doesn't have an idea about raising kids, so he shouldn't tell Gintoki how to raise China. He sighed upon thinking that he'll have to deal with Gintoki when he gets back. Hijikata can't help but sigh again then took out his phone and dialed Yamazaki's number. 

.

.

.

"See that?" Sougo pointed out the man with a green kimono who kept on looking around while staying in the entrance of a movie theater. "That's the joi informant. He's probably meeting the one we're looking for, China."

"I know that aru! Stop telling me what to do!"

"Oh yeah? Well guess what? I don't want you getting in my way, China. This is MY job and my reputation that will be tarnished if YOU mess up."

"Ah? From how I see it, mayora actually thinks YOU'RE going to mess up that's why he hired me AGAIN to ensure the success of this mission like the last time."

"You didn't even do anything last time but stuff your stomach with the food _I_ bought."

"I was acting in character. We're pretending that we're going out on a date right? Gin-chan said dates are great opportunities for a lady to have a free food." Kagura huffed. 

"What lady? Who's a lady? I can only remember a pig was eating hog growers right at me that time," Sougo's face flattened.

"Who's a—" Kagura was not allowed to finish her retort when Sougo suddenly stabbed a burger patty stuck in her wide open mouth.

"Oh look. Someone just went to him," Sougo said, gesturing their target while Kagura can't care less when she felt like choking. 

Sougo passively observed their target, though he's not really that interested. He already found out who the leader was. It was actually the guy Kagura 'accidentally' knocked down while they fought each other before even formally starting this so called 'mission'. 

He's just dragging this day out here rather than going back in the headquarters and deal with the paper work he'll have to send to Hijikata as soon as possible (in which, by Hijikata's standards, should be this evening, but as unmotivated he is about work, Sougo prefers sending Hijikata a single sentence email rather than the actual paper work he's supposed to do).

What made this fake undercover more interesting though is the silver head samurai he just spotted inside the cafe near the glass wall with a poor effort in disguise. He can't really hide much with that hair. 

_'What is Danna doing here?'_ Sougo wondered, knowing that the yorozuya boss was supposed to rest the entire day. 

The man they've been tailing now has a woman chattering up with him and Sougo went on with his made up stories. 

"Oh, look right there, China. That must be the informat's mistress. She wears too much makeup and doesn't look like an informant's wife, so she should be his other woman."

"So that's still not their leader?" Kagura said, not that enthusiastic about someone's affair, either. 

"I think that woman is having another affair though." Sougo said, watching the exchange between the informant and the said woman. 

"I don't know why we should care," Kagura replied, busy eating again. 

"Because I think she's cheating on him with the leader. She and the leader must just be using the informant."

"Is that supposed to be helpful to us aru?" Kagura asked, not quite understanding what Sougo is going at. 

"What was I expecting? Of course, you can't keep up with a real police man's investigation skills, China," at that, Sougo earned a death glare. "Now listen up. It must be that the leader doesn't want to directly expose himself with the informant and sent this woman out instead. If we wait for them to go on their usual pace, it would take us forever before we could move. They will just spend the entire day flirting around and that's a pain. All we have to do at this point is chase the woman off so she'll report to the leader sooner than she planned."

"Ah, I see, so we're following that woman from this point?" Kagura pretended she actually understood something. She doesn't really care though. 

Sougo eyed Gintoki who held the menu up to cover his face. This made the young sadist grin and said, "Yeah, you're getting the hang of it, China."

"What 'getting a hang of it' are you taking about? I'm doing great at it!" Kagura claimed. 

"Yeah, sure. Whatever works." Sougo dismissed the claim. "Anyway, here's the plan. You go and pretend to be the informant's daughter and confront them."

"That's lame aru. Wouldn't it be more dramatic if I pretend to be the oh-san's wife? Like how house wives confront their husband's mistress?"

"Who would take a midget as a wife? Like I said, you look like a kid than a proper woman. We'll have to salvage on what we have right now." Sougo said, observing how the two went inside the movie theater.

"You're just insulting me aru! You'll pay for what you said!"

"Shut up and get yourself a pony plush or whatever. All you have to do is act like a helpless child and humiliate that woman." Sougo said and pulled Kagura to a store. As the young sadist expected, it made Gintoki abruptly stand and go after them. 

Sougo took a jumper shorts and a shirt with a kiddie design in the kids' section then tossed them to Kagura.  
"Hey! What's all of this, aru?!"

"To make you look in character, of course." Sougo said and Kagura grumpily stumped to the fiting room to change. After a few minutes, Kagura emerged from the fiting room and she really looked like how Sougo expected her to look. The young captain of the first division wasn't able to hold his laughter. 

"Oi baka sadist! You're just playing around with me aren't you aru?!" Kagura was about to tear him apart and thankfully, Sougo got a hold of his laughter. 

"Okay, okay. Come over here and let me fix your hair."

"You're not getting anywhere near my hair!" Kagura growled with mistrust while pointing the end of her umbrella at Sougo. 

"Come on, I'm not gonna do something that will ruin it. Here, let's go over that full length mirror in the fitting room so you'll see what I'm doing while I'm at it." Sougo said, and somehow that gave Kagura an assurance that she will catch Sougo if he does something stupid right away by that. 

"Fine!" Kagura huffed, so the two went inside the fitting room. 

.  
.

 

Sakata Gintoki was supposed to relax that day. How the hell would he relax like this?? First, he heard that the mayora is playing cupid, setting out a date between two destructive brats and now the sadistic bastard took Kagura inside the fitting room WITH HIM! That's it! Gintoki walked to the damn fitting room and he heard their voices right away as he came closer. 

"Ouch! That hurts aru! Can't you do it gently, incompetent sadist?" Gintoki paled. That's Kagura without a doubt! What in the bloody melons is that brat thinking of what she's doing??! 

"Shut up. You're just complaining too much. It will be better, see?" came Sougo's voice. That's it. Gintoki is ripping these curtains off. 

"Oh. Not bad. I didn't take you for a hair stylist, baka chihuahua," In the nick of time, Gintoki's hand halted. 

"I did aneue's hair a lot when I was a kid, so I know stuff." Sougo said with a shrug and by this time, Gintoki is already walking away. 

The two emerged out of the fitting room and Sougo immediately found the silver mop of a head on his way outside. Sougo gave Kagura the money needed to pay for the clothes and while Kagura was heading to the cashier, Sougo took the chance to go and talk to the yorozuya boss. 

"Danna," Sougo called out and Gintoki glanced at him with his usual dead fish eyes. 

"Yo, Okita-kun."

"What are you doing here, Danna? Aren't you supposed to stay at home today?" Sougo asked.

"I decided to stretch out a bit." Gintoki replied. 

"Oh? You left Hijikata-san on his own again to stretch out?"

"He's not alone, okay? And don't tell Gin-san to spend his day off. He rarely gets one nowadays." Gintoki said, scratching his head in annoyance. 

"Is that so? Oh well, I better get back on China now. Oh, or would you rather talk to her too?" Sougo smirked wickedly, and Gintoki immediately understood where this is going.

"Ah, no need for that, Okita-kun. Good ol' Gin-san is just passing by that's all. Just make sure you guys don't get into too much trouble." Gintoki started walking away and waved his hand lazily. 

 

Sougo might be a major jerk most of the time, but he's still a good kid to Gintoki. He's just not prepared for another scenario of Kagura getting another boyfriend. He's sure that it won't cause them another war against giants with uncivilized clothing sense, but it would cause another ruckus with Kagura's father. Once Gintoki confirmed that the two were not doing anything that he should be alarmed of, he decided to take his leave. 

Gintoki didn't want to go back home just yet. Shinpachi must be home by now and Hijikata is not on his own. Why? The thing is, he doesn't really feel like going home straight today. It's his day off with all his responsibilities anyway. He might as well go to a pachinko parlor and have some fun. 

Deciding to settle with that, he merrily went straight to the pachinko parlor and saw Madao. It's weird but suddenly, Gintoki realized he haven't seen much of this sorry excuse of a human for a while now. It reminded him that he haven't been letting loose like this guy over here. 

"Gin-san! So you lived! I thought you're dead or something now. I haven't seen you in a while!" Madao said as they walked out of the pachinko parlor. 

"I'm actually glad about that. As much as possible, I don't wanna see your face often."

"Maa, don't be like that, Gin-san. It's nice to see each other again once in awhile. Say, let's celebrate this! Let's go and drink together. We haven't done that for such a long time now, right?" Madao proposed. 

Gintoki isn't particularly broke this time unlike most of the time he exists the pachinko parlor. He actually has some money to go out and drink, so he agreed to drink out with Madao. There, he drank merrily without a care like he usually does. 

"Gin-saaaaaan. You know? That manager was really mean to me this morning. He called me idiot like four times and..." Madao said, counting with his fingers, "aaand like three times useless. It's not like the pay is that good anyway! He's being so rude and treats me lower than a dog. I'm a human too, you know?"  
Madao ranted out his frustration on the new job he got and Gintoki wasn't even pretending to listen. As long as Hasegawa can get it out of his chest, whatever works. 

Gintoki in the other hand seems conflicted in staying longer or going home early. He then decided to stay longer though he didn't stay too late. Actually, he went home early for his standards, too much to Hasegawa's dismay. 

Gintoki might wanna let loose this once, but he doesn't want to risk neglecting Hijikata's dinner. If the Mayora eats something he didn't cook, he'll probably throw up again. Hijikata actually had lesser cases of throwing up and the morning sickness was almost gone by this time. Gintoki actually considered this and suspected that it shouldn't hurt much for Hijikata to eat something Gintoki didn't cook even just once, but then again, he has a picky child inside Hijikata's bump to feed. 

Gintoki came home a bit tipsy and found the house too quite. Perhaps Hijikata took his nap, but where was Sadaharu? He slid the door open and announced "tadaima" which earned a small "okaeri" from Shinpachi. 

As soon as Gintoki stepped inside the living room, he saw Otose sitting on the couch with Tama and Shinpachi sitting right at her. He then saw Sadaharu looming around the corner. Gintoki immediately noticed the silence despite the number of people inside. He wondered what happened and they're too threateningly quite. Sadaharu suddenly barked angrily at him, startling Gintoki. 

"Oi! What's your deal, Sadaharu?" Gintoki complained, feeling a headache creeping in. 

"Where were you?!" Otose asked with a face full of resentment. She took a drag of smoke and Gintoki scrunched up his face. 

"Oi oi, old hag. I thought it has been clear that this floor is entirely non smoking area now. We have a chainsmoker pregnant man in the house and if he smells this, he might just itch to get himself a smoke." Gintoki complained. 

"Ah? What pregnant man in the house? Your Shinsengumi vice-commander ran away, you idiot!"

Gintoki froze upon hearing it, tipsy feeling suddenly evaporating out his system. He glanced at Shinpachi who refused to meet his gaze and looked down instead. That didn't look like a positive response no matter how he looks at it. Gintoki clicked his tongue and immediately went to confirm the statement. 

"Hijikata!" Gintoki called out and dashed to their room. It's empty. Too empty. He checked Hijikata's stuff and saw that it's all gone. 

"See? I told you. Your spouse went back to his parents," Otose scoffed. "I knew this was bound to happen anytime soon."

"HA??!" Went back to his parents? The Shinsengumi?? Great. Just great. Gintoki gritted his teeth. 

_'What on earth did I do this time?!'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spelled 'rounin' for the last two characters, and google said it's 'ronin' when I looked it up. Actually, it varies in some sources, so perhaps both are acceptable. Spelling has never been my forte and English is not my first language as well, so sorry if I'm making you deal with my typos and errors. This story is completely unbetaed, so thank you for your understanding.


	13. Wooden Swords Normally can't Cut Metal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why? Mayora is just back at home with us."
> 
> "No he's not," Sougo replied, not pausing on his steps nor sparing her a glance. "He's back at home with _us_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My internet is messed up and I didn't have the time to properly check for my errors and typos. I'll edit those errors next time my connection gets fixed. I had to cut this chapter 'coz it ended up a lot longer than expected.

"That should be all for today, China." Sougo said as he walked with Kagura under the night sky of the Kabuki chou. 

"What's this aru? You walking me home? Wow, I'm almost impressed with how you're acting so courteous as if we just went for a date." Kagura said with a straight face, suspicious and unimpressed. 

"Hah? Don't flatter yourself, China. If anything, it would be more like a police officer walking a lost child home. I'm just heading to Hijikata-san and report to him personally. He unfortunately stays in your place so I'll have to go there with you." Sougo reasoned. 

Kagura retorted, but Sougo did not pay it any mind when he suddenly received an email. He's pretty sure it's work related, so he immediately checked it out and he was frozen on his steps. 

"What's wrong with your feet?" Kagura asked, stopping to turn and face him when she noticed him stopping. 

"If you want to receive your payment from Hijikata-san, you might as well come with me to the Shinsengumi," Sougo said, keeping his phone inside his pocket then turned to head the other way. 

"Why? Mayora is just back at home with us."

"No he's not," Sougo replied, not pausing on his steps nor sparing her a glance. "He's back at home with _us_."

.  
.  
.

Sakata Gintoki has been fully aware that he's a useless case when it comes to his determination in fulfilling his responsibilities such as paying his rent, and providing Shinpachi and Kagura their salary. But then again, he can't understand what's in it for him this time. One usual Gin-san day and the Mayora decided to leave without a word. 

"He didn't leave without a word, Gin-san. How many times do we have to tell you that?" Shinpachi sighed. "He called Yamazaki-san here and asked him to pack things up, but he didn't leave before I got back here."

 

.  
.  
Hours earlier:

Shinpachi enthusiastically made it back to the yorozuya base despite after the energy consuming Otsu meeting he had been. He noticed the Shinsengumi car parked outside and he assumed Kondo-san paid Hijikata a visit or something came up with work. He didn't bother much about it and went on his way upstairs. He announced a greeting as he went inside, though he's keeping his voice low, not wanting to disturb Gintoki's sleep.

When he got inside though, his energy dropped when as he spotted Hijikata's things in the doorway. 

"Was that all, Fukucho?" Shinpachi heard Yamazaki.

"Yeah, I think. Just put them in the car."

"Aren't we leaving yet?"

"We still have to wait until someone —"

"Hijikata-san?" Shinpachi came into their field of vision. "Wha— why are you packing your stuff?!"

"Ah— calm down, Shinpachi-kun. Go ahead, Yamazaki and get those inside the car. I'll follow shortly." Hijikata instructed. 

"How about Gin-san? Where is Gin-san Hijikata-san?" Shinpachi asked with urgency. He's pretty sure Gintoki didn't agree with this. 

"About that, I'd like to ask you to tell him the news instead. He went out to do something, but he should be back later." Hijikata said with a composed voice. 

"What? Did you two fight?"

"That's not news. We always fight." Hijikata scoffed. 

"Did he say something?" Shinpachi assumed, thinking that it could be the only reason. Seeing Hijikata's frozen posture even for just a fraction of second confirmed his assumption.  
"Hijikata-san. I'm sure Gin-san didn't mean—"

"I know Megane-kun. It's not just that. Even if he didn't mean it to be offensive, he's right." Hijikata smirked coolly. 

"But Hijikata-san! If we just wait for Gin-san and—"

"I've been overstaying my welcome." Hijikata gave him a comforting smile and went pass him with his hand ruffling the young yorozuya's hair. "Thank you for everything, Shinpachi-kun. Just send my thanks to the others."

.

.

Shinpachi couldn't do anything but see him go. Hijikata even said his thanks to the people in the Snack Smile, thus Otose and Tama's presence in the household when Gintoki got back home. 

Otose huffed a cloud of smoke and glared at Gintoki after hearing what happened before Gintoki went out. Everyone already expressed their disapproval and disappointment towards Gintoki's words and actions. The poor yorozuya boss, now completely sobered up had his face pressed on the table, was suddenly wanting to drown in liquor again. 

"Why did he have to leave huh? Whhhhyyyyyyyyyy?" Gintoki groaned. 

"Because you're a sorry excuse of a husband, that's why." Otose gave him an answer. 

"We're not even engaged, let alone married! Why is he acting like an upset housewife like I cheated on him or battered him or something?!" Gintoki ranted out in frustration. "WHY DID HE HAVE TO LEAVE LIKE THAT?!"

"Why did you have to say that to him, Gin-san? You even left and didn't come home sooner. If you came home early, you could've stopped him." Shinpachi vented out.

"I know! I get it! That's not helping here Patsuan." Gintoki lifted his face up. "I just said that because I was not thinking straight and Kagura—"

"GIN-CHAAAAN!!!" Kagura roared as she stormed inside. 

"You! It's late! How far have you gone with Okita-kun?!" Gintoki scolded, though Kagura looked angrier than him. 

"YOU!" Kagura exclaimed as she jumped on Gintoki's shoulders and pulled his perm hard, attempting to rip it off his scalp. "Why did you let mayora go back to the sadist?!! How dare you Gin-chan!!!"

"OOOWW! OOW! LET GO! You're ripping out my hair!"

"It's ugly anyway! There's nothing to lose! Besides, you deserve it!" Kagura pulled ever harder while Gintoki took her hands, trying to pull it the opposite way. "You're just like that badlie leaving my mami in pain! You're hurting my hiji _ka-san_! Go ahead and turn bald like papi!"

"Why are you calling him like that?! He's not your mom!"

"He's like my foster mami now! He pays the bills and fills the refrigerator with all the good stuff! He even gives me money! He's a lot better guardian! Aaarrggh! Why did he have to go? I wouldn't have minded if you left instead!"

"Oi! That's going too far!" Gintoki screamed and finally managed to get Kagura off him. Soon enough, realization hit him. "Wait, how did you know?"

"Because I went to see him, of course!" Kagura glared and crossed her arms. 

"Back in the Shinsengumi?" Shinpachi asked. 

"Of course. I thought he just stayed there late and when I asked him to come with me home, he said— he —" Kagura suddenly recalled something, triggering her anger back into action. "YOU'RE UNFORGIVABLE GIN-CHAN!"

Another member of the Gintoki Haters Club, great. Just what Gintoki needs. Just when he thought his head is now free, Sadaharu decided to chomp his head. Gintoki acknowledges the legitimacy of this club alright. 

 

.  
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.

 

Sougo exited Hijikata's room after a few minutes he ensured that Hijikata was already fast asleep. Making sure that he stayed asleep is one thing and pranking him is another. It would be a great opportunity to pretend as a ghost if ever Hijikata woke up and see him in his half awake state. It would surely scare the heck out of him. Then again, Hijikata stayed asleep, so he quietly left the premise and softly shut the door close. To his surprise, Kondo and a couple of Shinsengumi members were waiting outside the door. 

"How was he, Sougo?" Kondo asked. Worry evident in his voice. 

"Tired, but he's asleep now. I stayed a little longer in case he felt uncomfortable and woke up. He's gotten used to that cramped space for sometime of course," Sougo replied. 

"I see. You guys should also go back to your own quarters now," Kondo said, facing the others. "Let's call it a day." 

The men went on their way and Sougo was now alone with their commander. 

"I wonder what the yorozuya did this time," Kondo said, staring at the closed door. 

"You're worrying too much, Kondo-san. Hijikata-san just got sick of it in that slums," Sougo said, walking to his room, "Isn't this better? Hijikata-san should stay here if they can't take good care of Assassin number 14 better than us."

.  
.  
.

It's already 2:00 in the morning and Gintoki found it hard to sleep. He twisted and spun around, only to see the empty space beside him. It gave an uncomfortable feeling in his chest and perhaps he's just not used to the feeling of having the room all to himself again. He checked the clock above his head and groaned in frustration. He should really get some sleep now. It's just like that time when Hijikata woke him up and— oh. Again with his train of thought going towards that bastard. 

It was around 3 am in the morning when he decided to walk around outside for a while. That could help him sleep soon. He did try that, but his wandering feet brought him to the place that his wandering mind was also thinking, so there he was standing outside the Shinsengumi headquarters. He can only stare blankly, not knowing what he should be doing there until he heard a voice. 

"Danna?" Gintoki turned around and saw Yamazaki holding a grocery bag. "It's too early to come here, don't you think?" the Shinsengumi spy (slash Hijikata's personal errand boy) gave him a sympathetic smile. 

"It's late in my clock though. I should've come here earlier," Gintoki replied. 

"I don't think you'd be able to get in even if you came here earlier though." Yamazaki awkwardly laughed and Gintoki gave him a questioning stare. "You see, Danna, everyone thought you hit Fukucho or hurt him pretty bad, so the men went into a rampage. It took them sometime before Fukucho managed to calm them down. That was close. I thought they will do the same thing they did when you beat Kondo-san."

Oh Gintoki remembered that one. The Shinsengumi set out to find him and beat him up. Which reminds him, that's the first time he met Hijikata with a scar as a souvenir. 

"They were that pissed, huh?" Gintoki said and Yamazaki went on his way to get inside. "Is that for Hijikata? He wanted you to buy strawberry cake?"

"Ah, did he make you do that as well?" Yamazaki laughed light heartedly this time. "Fukucho can really be stubborn, but it's fine. This is Okita taicho's request this time. He didn't want Hijikata-san to have a reason to go out because of food bribery tomorrow."

"Ha?"

"Katsura came here and attempted that when fukucho was alone in the garden. He almost succeeded until Saito-san noticed and went after him." Yamazaki replied. He then realized he's talking too much, he politely told Gintoki that he should go. 

"Wait a second, Jimmy." Gintoki called out. 

"Ah, sorry, Danna. I can't sneak you inside." Yamazaki declined the unspoken request. 

"No, I know that, idiot. I just want to ask where you get those cakes at this hour." Gintoki said with a determined face. 

 

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.

Hijikata Toshiro felt a strange sensation when he woke up inside his own room in the barracks. For once, he wasn't woken up with loud clattering and kids bickering, or else the human wearing glasses waking him up gently to eat his breakfast. 

It felt peaceful for once, though a strange sensation crept in his chest. He got up and the peace shattered when a voice wailed from the outside. 

"HIJIKATA!!! COME OUT THERE! HIJIKATA!!!"

Without a doubt, that's the yorozuya boss. Hijikata, not expecting this kind of reaction, walked towards the garden to see what's going on outside and Yamazaki immediately dashed towards him. 

"Ah fukucho! You're up! Kondo-san asked for you to come and see him!" Yamazaki said, effectively blocking the way towards the open area. 

"What's that bastard doing outside?" Hijikata said, still pushing his way through.

"Oh, that. Okita taicho is outside handling that. Uh, Fukucho!"

"They don't want him to see me, I get it. At least let me take a look of what's happening." Hijikata said so Yamazaki stepped aside. The vice commander took a peek out in the open area near the gate and there he saw Sakata Gintoki climbing a nearby post outside the fence like an albino monkey while Sougo and some Shinsengumi officers were talking to him from inside the fence. 

"Get down from there Danna. Are you trying to mimic our commander?" Sougo called out. 

"Shut up! Stop hiding Hijikata!"

"You have a creepy stalker, Danna. You should know the uncomfortable feeling."

"That's right! I turned into a stalker now! I wouldn't go this far if you just let me in!" Gintoki said, and Hijikata heard enough and turned to leave. 

"You lost, Danna. You're being a sore loser." At Sougo's reply, Hijikata paused on his steps and turned to the reluctant Yamazaki. 

"What was that about?" Hijikata sent a glare to Yamazaki, giving him no other choice but to spill the beans. 

"Uuuh, ahno, fukucho. Danna came here early and he talked with the commander. It ended up into a spar in the dojo."

"What?!" Hijikata exclaimed and hurriedly went to see his commander. As he arrived in their commander's office, he saw Kondo Isao unusually sitting still at his table and greeted him a wide smile. Kondo being here is one thing (He usually goes out and stalk the older Shimura sibling by this hour) and seeing him work is another unusual thing to witness. 

"Oh Toshi! You're up!" Kondo greeted. 

"What happened with the Yorozuya outside?"

"Oh, Gin-san came to see you as expected, so I went and had a talk with him in the dojo since you're still asleep." Kondo laughed. "We then had a match. He lost, so he's not allowed to see you. Nyahahaha!" Kondo laughed in a good natured way. 

"How did he lose?" Hijikata raised an eyebrow. 

"Like how I lost to him," Kondo answered with a wide grin. Hijikata sighed at that. Karma really is a bitch. Gintoki had a taste of his own medicine with his the same nasty trick, huh? Hijikata sighed, quite relieved. 

"Thank you Kondo-san... and sorry for the trouble."

"Aren't you really going to talk to him, Toshi?" Kondo asked. "He seems really determined and sorry now."

"At least not now, Kondo-san. I know he has a lot that he wants to say, but I don't know what I'm going to say to him." Hijikata replied. 

Kondo stared at him for a while and then said with a reassuring smile, "I see, Toshi. I'm sure you'll come into terms soon."

.  
.  
.

After Sougo aimed that bazooka right at him, Sakata Gintoki knew better than trust Sougo's innocent face and take his words as an empty threat. He didn't have a choice but to hurriedly jump off that post and retreat for now. Great. The young sadist still blasted the post down after all. Now where would he climb? If only that gorilla didn't mess the *shinai they lent him, he would've spoken to Hijikata by now. Gintoki didn't think that Kondo held grudge about that trick he did when they faced off once. Perhaps he deserved that one. 

At least the gorilla wasn't too angry with him. He just gave him quite a lecture. Well, it wasn't exactly a lecture. Probably Kondo's words just sunk deeper than he thought it would. 

 

  
_"Toshi didn't tell us exactly what happened, but I know you said something I'm sure you didn't really mean, Yorozuya," Kondo said while Gintoki was sitting on the floor beside the shinai that broke. The Shinsengumi's commander was giving off Gintoki the same heavy feeling when they drank sake before Kondo surrendered to the Mimawarigumi.  
"I'm sure Toshi knows that too, but I won't excuse your course of action and choice of words to Toshi. I'm very disappointed, Gin-san. Even Sougo knew better than rub too much salt on Toshi's open wounds."_

_"I know that, Kondo-san... That's why I came here to talk." Gintoki sighed in resignation._

_"He's not ready to talk yet." Kondo mildly shook his head with eyes closed._

_"Kondo-san—"_

_"I'm not sure if you're well informed, but our Toshi didn't experience growing up in a healthy household. Do you know the real reason why he decided to keep the baby?" Kondo cut Gintoki's complaints short, catching the yorozuya boss off guard._

_"Toshi is an illegitimate child of a rich farmer. His mother passed away when he's too young and his father's family didn't want to look after him, but his eldest half brother took good care of him. They adored each other, but unfortunately, that didn't last long. An attack happened in their household and Toshi's brother lost his eyesight while protecting him. You can guess what happened when Toshi gets enraged even in a young age. His relatives disapproved of him more after that and he ran away from home... away from his brother, also to protect him. That's his idea of protecting people he can't afford to get into trouble because of him. Pushing them away from him. That's why... I was glad he decided to keep the baby and wanted the custody. This time, he decided to keep someone he wanted to protect close and I'm sure he's still questioning that decision, probably doubting himself, so I'm asking you to please be considerate of him, Gin-san." Kondo's smile was gentle as he held out his hand to help Gintoki get back on his feet, but it didn't ease the uneasy feeling in his stomach.  
_

Gintoki already knows some bits about that, but hearing it from Kondo feels a lot different. 

_'Pushing people away to protect them, huh?'_ Gintoki thought and somehow, an image of an older Okita flashed into his mind. _'That's right. Just like Mitsuba..'_ Gintoki knew that it did make a lot of sense but then... he wonders why the sound of it makes his stomach sink. 

Stomach... He keeps on feeling weird things there. Oh that's right. He forgot to ask if Hijikata kept his food down. Gintoki decided to head back home and cook something. They should at least let him send the food, right? 

On the way though, he saw another foreboding entity creeping out, covered in another poor disguise. Gintoki grimaced upon seeing Katsura in his Mario (or *Katsurio as he called himself before) outfit again. 

"Cut the crap, Zura. What are trying to do this time?" Gintoki eyed him suspiciously. 

"Zura janai. Katsurio d—" before Katsura can finish his annoying line, Gintoki kicked him and sent his face crashing on the ground. 

"I heard the stupid thing you pulled last night, you idiot," Gintoki said as he crushed Katura's head with his foot. "Don't tell me you're pulling another one again. You're making me look even worse! They'll think I sent you or something!" Gintoki channelled all his frustration on stomping on Katsura's poor head. 

"G—Gintoki! Waa—ck! Let me explai—ack!"

"Shut up! You never learn, do you?!"

"Gintoki, I've heard from leader! You're such a terrible man at this." Katsura managed to get away by crawling backwards and shook his head disapprovingly. "I'm willing to help, as always. We can't let the Shinsengumi have the child at any cost!"

"I don't need help! Not from you and your sorry excuse of a brain! Gin-san can manage this just fine."

"Oh? How come you're still unsuccessful then?" Katsura crossed his arms, questioning Gintoki's solo flight credibility. 

"They won't even let me in! What makes you think they'll let you?!"

"Because," Katsura cleared his throat and fixed himself, "I'm going to have a fan signing event there. I'm sure Hijikata-san will approve and ask my autograph like how he requested so before." Katsura announced, quite confidently. Well, he's not half wrong in that case. 

Gintoki can perfectly recall how Hijikata was fooled by the stupid disguise and asked for an autograph saying, _"would you please sign here and write 'for Toshiro-kun'?"_ Ah, this might actually work. They're dealing with a Hijikata that can be bribed with food after all. Gintoki considered going with this plan.  
.  
.  
.

Why did he agree to this again? 

It didn't take more than three minutes that Katsura retreated in a rush with a convoy of blazing bazooka at his back.

"GINTOKI, RUUUUUUUN!!!" Katsura shouted out and seeing the explosion on every step Katsura left, Gintoki decided that it's indeed the best thing to do.

"ZURAAA! WHAT THE HELL???!!" Gintoki yelled as they both ran as fast as they could, not wanting to get hit with the unforgiving bazooka. 

"I underestimated the enemy's security, Gintoki. It seems that my plan didn't work since the vanguard wasn't very fond of Mario." he meant Sougo, didn't he? 

"OF COURSE ONLY HIJIKATA WILL FALL FOR THAT!" Gintoki screamed. That's right. The one keeping an eye on them was that sadist. He must be really enjoying this one.  
.  
.  
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Meanwhile...  
"What's that noise?" Hijikata poked his head outside.

"Oh, nothing, Hijikata-san. I was just playing Mario Bros." Sougo said with an innocent face as if he's not holding a bazooka with a smoke coming out from its mouth. 

"Play?" Hijikata wondered since he's holding the bazooka. He looked around and he saw a trail of smoke across the town. He immediately identified the perpetrator and his eyelid twitched in irritation."You _were_ playing _with_ the Mario Bros, alright."  
.  
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"How dare you come back here without my foster mami!" Kagura protested as Gintoki made it back home with a burnt perm. Damn Sougo and that bloody bazooka. 

"Shut uuuup. Gin-san is tired, you see? Mayora still won't talk to me and they're hiding him like crazy," Gintoki grumbled and took out what's left in the fridge to salvage. 

"What are you doing aru?"

"Cooking something. I'm starving,"

"Is that for my foster mami?" Kagura perked up. 

"No, I said I'm starving." 

"Really? Then I'm not helping you in giving that to him then." Kagura huffed and crossed her arms. 

"Yeah sure." Gintoki passively replied. He pretty much assures that the food will get through though. He'll just have to pass it down to Kondo-san and the gorilla will happily hand it over to Hijikata. The problem is that young sadist. He won't get through if he's— oh. OH! He can actually do that! 

"Kagura!" Gintoki called out to Kagura who was sitting on the couch while watching TV. 

"I'm not talking to you until my foster mami is back! I want sukonbu and he buys me a lot of those!"

"Then you'll have to do something so Hijikata will come back." Gintoki said, making the young Yato glance his way. "This should be easy for you."

"What is it aru? Your smile looks so shady. Are you thinking of something dirty!"

"Oh come on. You should be used to the dirty job by now." Gintoki replied, turning the stove off. "It's simple. Get rid of the sadist."

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It's almost time for his dinner, but Hijikata Toshiro decided to continue doing his paperwork instead. If anything comes up, Sougo will just say anything or else Yamazaki will give him an update of the tip they received. Oh, that's right. Yamazaki should be back by now. 

"Sougo, ask Zaki to verify this information on—" Hijikata paused upon realizing that the first division captain was not anywhere near. 

He stepped out of his room and called out again. Perhaps he went out or went to the restroom. Hijikata then stepped out and took the open path near the garden to find Yamazaki himself. He stopped dead on his tracks upon seeing a silver perm behind the bush. It's quite noticeable with the evening light illuminating it, making it stand out from the trivial darkness surrounding it. 

Hijikata was reluctant of what to do for a while then decided to pretend that he didn't see anything and went on his way. 

"That's rude, at least eat with me, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki spoke and Hijikata paused, not sparing him a glance. 

"Get out, Yorozuya. They will skin you alive if they see you in here," Hijikata replied. 

 

"I cooked dinner for you. Don't deprive my kid of daddy's cooking." Gintoki said and Hijikata gritted his teeth, sending a glare to the man behind the bush. 

Clicking his tongue and glaring all the way, Hijikata relented and walked towards Gintoki in the garden. He walked around the bush and was surprised to see a picnic was set under the night sky. The yorozuya boss was lighting up the lantern and it illuminated the picnic set up with all the foods Hijikata has been craving for. 

"Don't you even think about just grabbing the food and eat inside. I'm done if your Shinsengumi monkeys see me. Just eat with me, mommy."

"Don't call me that!" Hijikata protested, though Gintoki merely responded with a gesture for Hijikata to sit. Begrudgingly, Hijikata relented and sat. "What's with this set up? Trying to be sappy or something? You're creeping me out."

"I'm trying to eat with you without being caught, thank you very much," Gintoki retorted. 

"They will eventually look for me for dinner. If you don't want to be caught, I'll just get these and leave."

"No, you're eating with me. Let them look for you and flip the entire Edo upside down for all I care. I just need a couple of minutes. Here, eat," Gintoki said, handing Hijikata the dinner he prepared.

Hijikata's glare was unrelenting, though he accepted the food and took the disposable chopsticks that Gintoki offered. After saying the quite 'itadakimasu', Hijikata began to eat and Gintoki followed, helping himself to eat. Hijikata, not realizing how fast he's eating didn't notice Gintoki staring at him until it lasted longer than Hijikata's senses can overlook. 

"Why are you staring?" the pregnant man scowled. 

"Did you eat last night?" Gintoki asked, making Hijikata just stare at him with pure confusion as to why he would ask that. He finally answered as he continued eating to avoid looking at Gintoki. 

"Yeah, I did. You're not responsible for all my meals."

"Did you keep it down?" came the immediate follow up question. 

It took a couple of heartbeats before Hijikata gave him a response. "Some of it, yes."

 _'So he DID throw up.'_ Gintoki thought.

"And your breakfast?"

"It was better."

"Really?"

"Most of it stayed where I wanted them to," Hijikata said before Gintoki can ask again whether he kept it down or not.

"So you still puked?" Gintoki asked, rhetorically. 

"Are you here just to monitor my puking schedule? What's next? My lunch?"

"Yup. How did your lunch go?" Gintoki said, and that's it for Hijikata's patience for the hour. 

"Seriously? You don't have to bother. I'm alive, aren't I?" Hijikata growled. Irritated by now. 

"I wanted to ask so many things, but above everything else, I want to know where I messed up exactly." Gintoki replied with a serious face. "I know I said a lot of nonsense and I'm sure you know that I didn't mean any of those. If I messed up somewhere exactly, tell me and I'll work on that."

"You didn't really mess up. I just don't think I should stay longer under your roof," Hijikata said, avoiding to meet Gintoki's gaze by the excuse of eating. 

"Ha? Why would you even think that?"

"I know it's been an inconvenience to put up with me, and I don't know a lot of stuff that you apparently know better," came Hijikata's response. 

"Hijikata, I'm really sorry about that, okay? It was really my bad, and I'm really sorry, nah? I don't mean any word I said on a serious note," Gintoki said, practically pleading. 

"I know," Hijikata sighed. "Everything was true though. You've been tired and all because I was adding up the baggage there."

"How is it adding the baggage when you're the one paying my rent and buying Kagura her sukonbu?"

"It feels like that, okay?" Hijikata said, still not sure how to answer Gintoki. He's not even supposed to face him right now. 

"Then what should I do then?? I don't know anymore! The house feels weird and everyone is teaming up against me! Sadaharu eats my head like it's his personal lollipop! Kagura is always looking for her foster mami and everyone seems like member of Gintoki haters—" Gintoki caught himself rambling again, and stopped himself at once before it can be another reason for Hijikata to stay away further. 

He looked at Hijikata who mirrored his gaze and the yorozuya boss cleared his throat before sheepishly saying, "As I said, uhh.. what do you want me to do?"

"Nothing." 

"I will keep on stalking you if you kept on sticking on that, you know."

"Good luck with that. I'm sure you won't be able to keep on distracting Sougo." Hijikata huffed, partly confident he won't last long against the other. Sooner or later, he should give up, right? 

"So this is what this is about? You just want more Sou-chan time. I'm very disappointed with you, Hijikata-kun." Gintoki said with a very irritated face. "And here I thought you've been shipping him with Kagura. Was that just because of the separation issues? That's heartless, Hijikata-kun. Playing with kids' emotions like that."

"Ha? What are you even—" Hijikata stopped himself. 

"Fukucho! Where are you? Fukucho?" they both heard Yamazaki. 

"I wanted to drag you back home with me, but I don't have the marriage contract to permit that. One thing as well, I don't want to take you against your will." Gintoki said, standing up, and preparing to leave. "I hope you'd accept my apology though."

This shouldn't drag on. "Look, yorozuya, I'm aware that you didn't mean to say those stuff, but we can't deny that it's all true. I'm not even really sure if I even have to stay there. We can both do better like this."

"How long do you want me to stalk you and pester the Shinsengumi?" Gintoki asked. Apparently, he'll do that as long as Hijikata won't come with him. 

"You will have to stop that 'coz I'm not thinking of coming back. You'll need a miracle like having a silky straight hair instead of a natural perm before I consider living in that place again." Hijikata went on his way inside, feeling confident with the statement. As if he'd actually ever manage to straighten up that perm. 

"Oh? So that's what I need to do to take you back?" Gintoki said, making Hijikata stop and look back at him again. 

"Ha?"

"Okay then! It's decided! You said so yourself. The moment you see Sakata Gintoki with a straight hair, I'm taking you home, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki grinned. 

_'Oh no.'_ Hijiiata gulped. The bastard is actually in for it. Well, he doesn't want to turn back on his word now, so he crossed his arms with a nervous grin. "Yeah, let's see you try. Don't you dare show your perm around here unless it's perfectly straight."

Gintoki mirrored his grin with a confident smirk. _"Why is he so damn confident?"_

"Hijikata-san?" Sougo called out with his monotonous voice and Gintoki left in the Darkness. Hijikata then went inside and saw Sougo looking around for him. 

"I looked for you. Where on earth were you?" Hijikata said, announcing his presence at the same time. 

Sougo eyed him for a while before saying, "I know you sneaked out to see Danna while I'm gone, Hijikata-san." 

"I just told him not to show his face around here unless a miracle will straighten his natural perm," Hijikata replied. 

"Then you'll come back to him?" 

"As if he can actually do that." Hijikata huffed. 

"You're underestimating Danna's miracles, Hijikata-san. That's easy for a guy who slices metal and literally everything with a wooden sword. That wooden sword never broke nor cracked compared to your cursed sword, mind you."

"That's because that's how that Gorilla decided it to be! He even made a parody about his sword that will teach him an ultimate technique!" Hijikata protested. "His hair is another thing! That will never change!"

"Oh? Then I'll just have to shave off Danna's hair then. If he's bald, there's no chance of him winning the bet then?" Sougo's sadistic smile came up. 

"Uh, yeah..." Hijikata reluctantly agreed. Sougo has been extra creepy lately. Is making him hang around Kagura too much is a bad thing? 

"Don't worry, Hijikata-san. Leave it to me." Sougo grinned wickedly. 

_"You're enjoying this too much, aren't you?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Shinai (竹刀) is a weapon used for practice and competition in kendo representing a Japanese sword. 
> 
> *Katsurio. you guys remember this arc? Katsura went on with this remembering that Hijikata fell for that poor disguise and even asked for "Mario's" autograph. (apparently, Hijikata was a fan of Mario)
> 
> I'm sorry if there's no further clue about the ronin in this chapter. Writing the aftermath of Hijikata running away turned out longer than expected.


	14. People Look Different with a New Haircut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I apologize for the intrusion, Kondo-san, but we should be going," _straight haired Gintoki_ bowed, creeping Hijikata out. "Thank you for looking after Hijikata."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These additional infos regarding the ronin may be more confusing to some. Again, I used gender neutral pronouns for the ronin in the first part and as usual, I apologize for the errors.

The laboratory was not exactly in order and chemicals are getting more and more irritating to the nose by every second. The person who's been called a ronin was wearing the required mask for this activity, and it's not an exaggeration that it's a gas mask. Well, maybe it is, but that's not their idea. The midget behind the idea made a call and the ronin removed their surgeon gloves and went away to answer. 

"Are you done playing with cadavers?" Takasugi asked.

"Why? Do you you want me to turn another one?" they answered after removing the gas mask. 

"Not really. We won't have you do the killing when we have Banzai for that. Your job should be something only you are skilled enough with." Takasugi replied.

"Do you mean the drug?" the answer came with a sigh. 

"It's convenient to have a doctor around." Takasugi's smirk was evident in his voice. The ronin wants to argue that they actually don't have the license to certify that profession, but they knew better than disagree. Apparently, Takasugi trusts their proficiency enough. 

"I'll be there in ten minutes."  
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Maybe it's a good idea that Hijikata put up that deal to begin with. Gintoki hasn't been around his sight for almost three weeks now. Sougo didn't confirm it, but Hijikata wouldn't want to imagine that Sougo actually managed to turn him bald. 

"Mayoraaa!" Kagura called out as she dashed to his office and Sougo came in right after with Shinpachi. "How is number 15?"

"Still fine, I guess." Hijikata expected the yorozuya kids to visit every now and then instead. They came in the yorozuya boss's stead since the bet was set. He didn't ask, but the kids said that Gintoki has been busy trying to straighten his hair, but to no avail. 

"We brought something Gin-san made. Just like you mentioned the last time," Shinpachi said, handing the bento box to Hijikata. "Gin-san wanted to ask how the check up went."

"Oh, that. Tell him, it's not the food, so he should stop fretting over it," Hijikata said, knowing that Gintoki had been overreacting when Shinpachi mentioned the stomach problems to him.  
"Yamada sensei said that the twitches and random ramblings in my stomach doesn't actually mean I'm hungry or ate something funny. He said the baby is just moving."

"Really?! It's moving?!" Kagura lit up.

"Yeah, I just can't really tell since its mild and it's my first time in this sort of thing so I can't really tell," Hijikata explained. 

"Can I touch it aru?" Kagura asked, and Hijikata can't find it in him to refuse, though the embarrassment is too uncomfortable for him. 

With the nod as an approval, Kagura pressed her palm gently on the baby bump as if it's going to break if she isn't careful. "How old is number 15 again?" Kagura inquired. 

"25 weeks," Hijikata replied. He's not even sure when the doctor started counting. Perhaps from the point his body was still considered normal and without any parasite feasting over his body. 

The kids (mostly just Kagura) usually play around in the barracks whenever they visit and fill Hijikata with idle chatter. Sometimes, they talk about Gintoki's failed attempts on achieving a perfectly straight hair. 

"Hijikata-san... does Gin-san really have to straighten his hair first?" Shinpachi finally asked. "We really think it's hopeless."

 _'That's exactly why I said it's a miracle.'_ Hijikata thought. "He agreed on those terms. Actually, I'm not sure why he wants me to move back in."

"You're both hopeless," Shinpachi sighed. 

"What did you just say, you brat?"

"Well, since it's part of the deal, he can't show his face around here as well, but he's really itching to see you."

"You mean his baby." Hijikata corrected. 

"If it's really just the baby, he won't fret over taking you back home if he knows that the Shinsengumi can take care of the baby here as well," Shinpachi said. "I guess you're both too dense to notice that Gin-san has been jea—"

**"Oi pat—an? —at the — are ——u sa—-!"**

A muffled familiar voice was then heard inside Shinpachi's kimono. The glasses wearing human began to sweat as Hijikata gave him an accusing stare. 

"He's been listening this whole time?" Hijikata asked, rhetorically, immediately catching up of what's happening. "Is he doing this everytime you guys visit?"

"Well... I can't really blame him. He's been desperate," Shinpachi gave an apologetic smile as he took the phone out while it's still on and pressed the speaker button. He then held it out to Hijikata. "This doesn't break the deal, right? He's not showing his face."

Hijikata considered it for a moment and at the same time, Gintoki kept silent in the other end of the line. 

"And here I thought your stalking days were now over, yorozuya," Hijikata spoke as he crossed his arms. 

**"Oi! Patsuan is right! This is not breaking the rules! I'm not showing my perm around!"**

Hijikata flinched, not in response with Gintoki's reply, but because of a sharp sensation that everyone in the room immediately noticed on his features. 

"Hi—Hijikata-san?" Shinpachi inquired, quite alarmed with the face the Shinsengumi's vice commander is making. 

"Out of the way, Megane," Sougo hurriedly walked in from where he was fighting with Kagura. He went right next to Hijikata and pressed his palm near the area Hijikata held with his own hand. "Should I call the doctor or should I just call someone to arrange your funeral? I suggest the latter."

"Okita-san!"

"N-no. It's fine," Hijikata refused, disregarding Sougo's last statement. 

**"Oi, Shinpachi! What's happening?!"**

Hijikata flinched again and gritted his teeth tighter. Sougo gave off a surprised face with his eyes blown wide, that the yorozuya kids rarely see. 

"I don't know too, Gin-san," Shinpachi replied to Gintoki. "Okita-san, what's wrong with Hijikata-san?"

"Unfortunately, he's fine," Sougo replied, pressing his palm in another nearby spot of Hijikata's baby bump. "The baby just kicked."

"Eeehh??" 

"Wha— was it painful, Hijikata-san?" Shinpachi inquired.

"It's alright. I was just... surprised. This kid kicked a lot harder than I expected."

"Let's do that again," Sougo said, and snatched the phone from Shinpachi's hand. "Danna, you hear that? I can feel my precious Assassin number 14's powerful kick on the palm of my hand," Sougo said, clearly to annoy Gintoki then placed the phone near the bump.

**"What?! Okita-kun, we all know that it's Gin-san's baby! And that's not my kid's name!"**

Another kick, making Hijikata flinch, so much to Sougo's delight. 

"Oh. That's one strong kick right there, number 14. Keep it going." Sougo said and the Yorozuya kids excitedly joined in.

"Let me hold too!" Kagura said enthusiastically. 

"Yeah, I want to feel the baby's kick too." Shinpachi seconded. 

**"You traitors! How dare you touch around my kid without me?!"**

Another kick and everyone let out a fond look. 

"Oi! Enough already! I'm telling you, it hurts! This kid can seriously kick," Hijikata hissed. "Now, enough of this!" Hijikata complained and ended the call. 

"Bad mommy. My precious assassin number 14 wanted to hear daddy more, Hijikata-san," Sougo complained. "Don't worry, number 14. Good thing I recorded your daddy's voice."

"OI!"

That's why the people in the Shinsengumi started gathering around along with the yorozuya kids. Everyone took turns and some were especially clingy like Kondo who pressed his ear right against the bump. 

"Toshiii! I'm— I'm so glad the baby is so healthy!" And Kondo was crying hard again. "It's making me jealous! I want one for myself as well!" Kondo declared with determination and turned to Shinpachi, "Worry not, utoto. I shall give you a wonderful nephew or niece—"

"LIKE HELL I'D LET YOU!" Shinpachi vehemently disagreed. 

.  
.  
.

 

"Kagura is sleeping over with us, Gin-san." Shinpachi said, but the yorozuya boss didn't respond and lied down on the couch aimlessly turning the pages of his Jump without even reading it.  
"Stop sulking over there, Gin-san. 

"Gin-san is not sulking," Gintoki replied with an exaggerated nasal voice. "Why would Gin-san sulk because everyone felt his own baby kick while he didn't?"

"You're clearly sulking," Shinpachi deadpanned. 

"Just go. Leave Gin-san alone."

"Come on, Gin-san. Cheer up. Number 15 wouldn't have kicked until he heard your voice, you know," Shinpachi tried to cheer him up. 

"I want to be happy with that, but I wanna kick Okita-kun and the rest of the Shinsengumi so hard right now." 

"Right?? I want to do that too Gin-chan!" Kagura seconded. 

"You're being overly dramatic, Gin-san. If you want to feel it yourself, than hurry up and straighten your perm. We're going." Shinpachi said, stepping out of the house. 

"Bye bye, Gin-chan!"

Left alone in the empty house, he felt Hijikata's absence more. It has been more than two weeks now and he still can't get rid of the uncomfortable feeling whenever he looks at the empty space next to his futon. Gintoki groaned and placed his Jump on the coffee table. Maybe he should just sleep on the couch... Again. 

He tried closing his eyes, but sleep didn't come over him for the next half hour, so he decided to get up and loiter around outside. It's too early for him to sleep after all. 

.  
.  
.

 

It's one o'clock in the morning when Hijikata heard his phone ringing. He couldn't really sleep deeply like he used to since the baby started moving. Little movements stirs him awake, so he immediately woke up with just a single ring. With a grumpy mood, he answered the phone. An emergency must've come up with work. 

"Yes?"

"Where is my order?!" A drunken voice came. "It didn't come! I've waited! Uh— what kind of service are you.. Uhh who are you again?"

"Ha??"

"My oooordeer," the idiot drawled. 

Someone has the nerve to call him in a drunken state. This drunk woke him up for a stupid reason. Quite irritated, he still tried to be polite and use the last strand of patience left in his system for the hour. 

"Mister, I have no idea who you are, or why you managed to contact this number, but you had the wrong number. I'm hanging up."

"Oi! Don't you dare hang up on me! How about my order?!"

"I said, it's the wrong number!" Hijikata had enough and hung up. 

He was about to try and go back to sleep when it ringed again with the same number. He ended it immediately and decided to turn the damn thing off if it ringed again. Well, it didn't prevent it from ringing again. He can't actually turn it off. He doesn't want to be unreachable if ever something urgent may come up. 

He had enough of ignoring the bastard maybe he should just go with the flow and pretend they'll deliver whatever he ordered since lashing out obviously doesn't work. 

"Great! You finally picked up! How dare you ignore an unsatisfied costumer!"

"Yes, yes sir. We'll see about your order and see to it that we delivered it as soon as possible. We apologize for the inconvenience." Hijikata said in monotony and was about to hang up when another complaint came. 

"Hey, you didn't even ask me who I am or what I ordered! Are you stupid?! Do your job properly!" for a drunken idiot, this guy surely seemed sharp. Still not sharp enough to notice that he dialed the wrong number though. 

"Ah, that's right, sir. I apologize. What was your order again, sir?" Hijikata went on with it, emphasizing the _sir_.

"Katsura da," (Katsura means wig in Japanese.)

"Hah?!" Hijikata sprang up from his slumber. "Katsura!"

"Uh, yeah. That's right. Why are you suddenly yelling?" the man asked, confused with the sudden change of tone. (the sentence literally means, "It's wig" but of course, it sounds like the infamous line "Zura janai! Katsura da!")

"You bastard! What are you thinking calling me st this hour?! A new way to harass me?!"

"Oi! If anyone is harassing someone here, that would be you! How dare you yell at a costumer!" the _costumer_ yelled back and Hijikata hissed in pain again when he felt another kick. 

"Whatever you're up to, I'm not in the mood for it, Katsura." in the verge of hanging up, his ear caught the last statement even when he already took the phone away from his ear. 

"—..Gin-san wants his order, you idiot! Where is my damn wig?!"

"Yorozuya?" Hijikata placed the phone back against his ear. 

"Oi, don't look down on me, you bastard! I want my wig! The silver one! That silky straight one I ordered, you hear?! Oi!" 

With the realization finally dawning at him, Hijikata calmed down and said, "That's cheating, Yorozuya. You can't use a wig." Hijikata sighed. So he's been talking to this idiot. No wonder the baby has been twitching around. 

"...Hijikata-kun?" the reply suddenly came hushed. 

"You've got so much free time to drink around now?" Hijikata said and the yorozuya boss didn't respond, so Hijikata just sighed and said, "Go home and sleep, yorozuya."

"Hijikata-kun," the idiot has no idea how many times Hijikata tried to hang up only to hear him say something again in the last second.

"What?"

"Come home, please." Gintoki said quietly, catching Hijikata off guard. 

_'How drunk are you? Is your place my home now?'_ Hijikata wanted to ask, but the words died in his throat. 

"Hijikata? You still there?"

"You should give it up Yorozuya.." Hijikata said, "I'm don't wanna.."

"For the last time, you're not an inconvenience. YOU should give it up," Gintoki insisted before Hijikata can finish his piece. "If you want to talk about inconvenience, THIS is the real inconvenience. I want to be the one holding my kid, but I can't. I want to eat with you, but I can't. I want to make sure you're fine, but I can't calm the fuck down! I want to make it up to you, but I can't! I hate this!"

"You're drunk, Yorozuya." Hijikata said, considering that he must've been drunk rambling by now. 

"I'm shit scared too, you idiot!" that effectively shut Hijikata up. "You think I didn't try to push the kids away too? When Kagura's father came, I felt like it's best to let her go! When I found out you're carrying my child, I was shit scared too! Do you know how many times it dawned to me that one of you or both of you might die if I wasn't looking? If you're in my place, how would you take responsibility? I was scared Hijikata... but I felt like I can manage 'coz it wasn't just me. I'm sorry if I said those things to you. I'm here, you idiot. If you're mad at me or if I made a mistake or something, just say it right at my face like you usually do. We may be too loud and angry, but we solve things better that way. Giving me a silent treatment and leaving without a word is too much, you know."

"Yorozuya.."

"That's not my name."

With a sigh, Hijikata complied. "Gintoki, _we_ won't die. I promise that." Gintoki remained silent for a while before finally giving a response. Perhaps entertaining the idea of dying in giving birth has been disturbing Gintoki. 

"... I'm picking you up tomorrow. Get Jimmy to prepare your stuff." 

"Ha?! Oi, yorozuya! We had a deal! You can't use a wig—" the bastard had the nerve to hang up on him! "Oi Yorozuya!"

Suddenly, the sliding door in Hijikata's room opened and revealed Sougo's lethargic form with an ugly ambiance oozing out from him. 

"Oi, Hijikata-san. If you want to have phone sex with Danna, can you at least not scream his name so loud like that when you climax? I'm sleeping next door, you disgusting homo."

"Who are you calling homo?! You brat, does that sound like a phone sex to you?! Does this look like someone having a phone sex?!"

"It's too late to say that. You already corrupted my innocent soul, Hijikata-san." again with him acting all innocent. 

"Who's innocent?!"

.  
.  
.

Morning came and Hijikata didn't order Yamazaki to pack his stuff. For all he knew, the idiot must've been just drunk and forgot all about it. He made his usual morning routine and washed up. When he got back, Yamazaki has been packing his stuff. 

"What are you doing, Zaki?" Hijikata asked with a twitching eyelid. 

"Danna called, Fukucho. He said, he's coming to pick you up."

"Ha??" 

"Why do you look so surprised? Danna said, he already told you." Yamazaki replied. 

Hijikata was about to say something when Sougo came in the room and said, "Danna finally perfected the jutsu for a perfectly straight hair. He's picking you up outside." Hijikata couldn't bring himself to believe his own ears. 

When they went outside, someone was talking to Kondo. Wait, whaaaat?? He stepped closer to them with Sougo's lingering presence at his back. Kondo and the silver head noticed their presence, the two immediately stopped talking and turned their attention to the newly arrived duo. Hijikata finally had a proper look at him. And he looks... Totally different. Is it really just the hair?! Why does he look like another person?!

"Toshi! I see that you two finally made up! Gin-san is now here to pick you up," Kondo smiled brightly. 

"Uh... Yeah," Hijikata said, with reluctance. 

"Ohayo, Hijikata," _straight haired Gintoki_ said with a smile that gave Hijikata an eerie feeling. Don't get him wrong. It's not that it looks ugly. The thing is that, it looks awfully charming like how a host looks to his customers in a host club. _Straight haired Gintoki_ noticed Hijikata's reaction, and said, "I see, you're that surprised."

"Is that the wig you ordered, you idiot?! Let me guess, is it cursed or something? Because you totally look like a different person." Hijikata speculated that it could be a similar case to Toshi because of the cursed sword. It should be a cursed wig, right? 

The _straight haired Gintoki_ gave him a smile and pulled his hair, "No, this is my real hair, see?" That only confused Hijikata more. 

"Ahaha! I thought the same thing, Toshi! Gin-san really looks different now, right?" Kondo said. 

"Are you ready to go? I'm picking you up as promised," _straight haired Gintoki_ said. 

"But my—"

"Zaki will bring your things there, Toshi. No need to worry. You can go with Gin-san now." Kondo said, reassuring him. 

"I apologize for the intrusion, Kondo-san, but we should be going," _straight haired Gintoki_ bowed, creeping Hijikata out. "Thank you for looking after Hijikata." 

_'Why are you talking like that, you idiot?!'_ Hijikata thought.

"Maaa Gin-san! No need to be so formal! We're family now, okay?"

"Thank you again. We'll go now," another smile, and it's totally not a smile that the yorozuya gives away! Hijikata felt totally uncomfortable walking with this person away from the Shinsengumi headquarters. 

Though they're already out of sight, Kondo's gaze lingered at the gateway where they just passed and said to Sougo, "Gin-san really looks like another person, right?"

"That's because _he is_ another person," Sougo smiled. 

"EEEH?? What do you mean, Sougo?! Did we just hand Toshi over to a shady person pretending to be Gin-san?!" Kondo freaked out, but then Sougo just turned around and walked back inside the building with the same smile. "Oi, Sougo!"

"Don't worry about it, Kondo-san. It's still Danna who picked him up." Sougo replied. 

"Eeeh?? But— but you said—"

 _"Looks like you really are desperate, Danna."_ Sougo thought. 

.  
.  
.

Meanwhile... 

"You're not Sakata Gintoki, are you?" Hijikata asked. 

The _straight haired Gintoki_ glanced at him with that cool smile again. "Oh, you noticed?"

"That bastard is totally different. You may look alike, but you don't have the same dead fish eyes," Hijikata replied. "Who are you, his twin brother or some relative?"

"My name is Sakata Kintoki, Hijikata-san. I'm a robot modeled after Sakata Gintoki and was programmed to be a better main character."

"You'd make a better main character, alright." Hijikata commented and _straight haired Gintoki_ or should we say, Sakata Kintoki smiled upon hearing it. That's the first real smile he gave, if you ask Hijikata. 

"Really? I'm glad to hear that from you."

 _"You definitely look like it,"_ Hijikata thought. 

"Kintoki, wasn't it?" Hijikata asked and he received a nod as a response. "Why did—"

"Okay, that's enough. Shoo now, Kintoki," a familiar voice cut the conversation short. They glanced at the next corner and there was Sakata Gintoki on his scooter with same old perm hair and another annoyed face that Hijikata immediately mirrored. 

"YOU! YOU CHEATER!" Hijikata yelled and stomped on his way to Sakata Gintoki. "You big fat liar!"

"I don't care. That was just for show to the Gorilla and the rest of the Shinsengumi anyway. You already agreed to come with me last night."

"I didn't agree about anything!"

"We both know you actually did," Gintoki gave him a knowing glance. "You don't have to say it. Here, wear this." Gintoki tossed his spare helmet to Hijikata. 

Hijikata glared, but put the helmet on anyway. He was about to get on the scooter when Kintoki announced his presence once again. 

"It's nice to meet you, Hijikata-san. If we meet again, please be reminded that this is not my real hair color." Kintoki said with the same genuine smile. "It's naturally gold since I'm programmed to correct Sakata Gintoki's imperfections, but I had to dye my hair for this once because of the occasion."

"Uh... Okay." Hijikata said with a tone more prone to reluctance so it sounded more like a question. 

"See you soon, Hijikata-san."

"Y—"

"No, not happening. You did your part, you got your pay, now bye." Gintoki said before Hijikata can give a polite response and pulled Hijikata to get on with what he was about to do before Kintoki said his piece. "Hurry up and hop on, mayora." With a frown, Hijikata did as he was told. 

"That's rude, but fine. I'm sure we'll see each other around, Hijikata-san."  
Kintoki waved his hand with the same charming smile and Gintoki didn't like that even the slightest so he speed the scooter away from him. Hijikata, who was caught off guard, wrapped his arms around Gintoki's waist in an instinct so he won't fall off. 

"Do you want me to fall off, you bastard?! Say something if we're leaving!" Hijikata yelled.

"Ah, yes. Gomen." Gintoki said with a goofy grin. 

"You don't even look a bit sorry!" 

.  
.  
.  
.

 

"Another body was found," Sougo said. "The local police unit is still not turning over the case to us."

"We've got a man slayer on the lose, as it seems," Kondo said with a serious expression on his face. "Sougo, go ahead and investigate further. This should be turned over to us sooner or later. Zaki, I want you to get Toshi. We need him in the meeting. He has been studying the connections with the previous victims." It has been three days after Hijikata moved back in the Yorozuya household yet he still keeps lends a hand on the intel unit, so much to Gintoki's disapproval of more paperwork Yamazaki has been delivering. 

"Right away, commander!" Yamazaki responded and went on to carry out the order as promised. Sougo on the other hand remained in the office with Kondo. Acknowledging his intentions, Kondo spoke. 

"What is it, Sougo?"

"They haven't turned the case over because a special amanto unit was allowed to handle the case."

"What?" Kondo said in disbelief. 

"Ah, my bad. I can't even consider it unit. It's just one individual. I was already in the scene of the crime before the news can spread. I was expecting to see the local police, but instead, someone who claimed as an amanto officer was already there examining the crime scene."

"Oh? What's the matter then?" Kondo asked. He's not really against the idea, but Sougo's actions and expression says that there must be something wrong. 

"I don't trust that person the slightest, Kondo-san."

 

.  
.  
.

Hours earlier:

Sougo entered the dark alley as soon as he heard the tip. It was just another late night in Edo except for the quite street that was not filled with the usual crowd. He noticed that there wasn't a police vehicle nor a police lane, so he assumed that they're still on their way there. He stepped in and it didn't take him long to feel another presence deep inside the alley. Sougo let his eyes adjust in the darkness until he can see a silhouette of someone crouching down.

"Don't move," Sougo commanded. "Better explain who you are or else I'd assume you're the culprit."

"I wouldn't really mind if you would, but it's best not to create conflicts with the Shinsengumi." the figure replied, standing up. She slowly stepped closer until the moonlight hit her features. She's wearing a beanie that covers her hair and tainted glasses, making Sougo more suspicious of the character. "I'm Agent Namaye. This case is now under my supervision."

"Really? I've never heard of that," Sougo said, unbelieving. 

"Well, you do now. I'm the one assigned for this case. It has been said that the same culprit was behind crimes back in my own planet, so I was tasked to chase him up until here."

"Well, this is our turf. Since you already know that I'm from the Shinsengumi, that should save us from all the boring explanations why I should know what happened here."

"Oh, help yourself then. The local police is already on their way, so I suggest you not to touch anything." The woman said with crossed arms as he stepped aside. 

Sougo doesn't like being ordered around, but he'll have to get on with it anyway. He examined the body and even with the instruction of not touching it, the classic Sougo lifted it's hair to see the face. The woman gave an annoyed click of her tongue, and it's enough to satisfy Sougo's sadistic self for the time being. He had job to do. 

The body lost an entire arm with a nasty clean cut. From the looks of it, it could be a sword, but the ugly rip of the torn sleeve says that there's more to it. In another note, he took out his flashlight to confirm what he noticed. Sure enough, the skin from the ugly wound to the shoulder gave out a darker shade. It surely wasn't a tattoo. It's faint, but the discoloration is evident enough for the naked eye like it's a patterned bruise.

"The same marks were left by the victims back in our planet," Namaye spoke as police sirens wailed in the streets. 

"Namaye-san, does the name Takasugi Shinsuke ring a bell?" Sougo stood up and met her stoic eyes behind the tainted glasses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been happy that many fics updated this week and I indulged myself in reading ang rereading them instead of actually updating my own as well. I'm so glad for all the love this fandom is receiving! Silver Soul part 2 is airing and the live action is just around the corner, so I've got a lot of distractions. Thank you so much for supporting Gintama and all the fanfic authors as well. *bows*


	15. Nightmares are Weird When You're Burning with Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you expect me to keep my mouth shut, show your face. Who are you really, _Namaye_?" Sougo challenged, earning a daggers of a glare from the woman who called herself Namaye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Kyoutarou,   
> let me tell you what I'm talking about when I said I'm usually awful with puns through this chapter. Lol

"I am informed of the man, yes," Namaye replied, not really interested in the point. 

"He made an appearance in Edo a few months ago. We haven't figured out what he's been up to, but I think he's behind this." Sougo eyed her with a blank expression. 

"You're suspecting me," It wasn't a question. That much is clear to Namaye. 

Sougo didn't confirm nor disagree. Instead, he smirked and said, "Let's have a bet, Officer-san. In three days, if the case remains unsolved, this case belongs to the Shinsengumi."

The local police unit came in and set up the police lane and retrieved possible evidences before removing the body. Namaye eyed him skeptically and huffed and annoyed gruff before turning to the police officers and give them instructions. After making sure that Namaye took a serious note on that, Sougo made his leave. 

.  
.  
.  
.

 

Hijikata Toshiro couldn't move. His body was heavy and he couldn't lift his limbs. A wave of nausea went over his senses and when he did vomit, he suddenly noticed the missing bump that was supposed to still be present in his system. He panicked as he saw the ugly traces of blood on his hospital clothes instead. 

What happened? 

"Don't move. We almost lost you," Yamada-sensei said, appearing in his field of vision. Hijikata wanted to yell and ask what happened, but with a suffocating bulge in his throat, he couldn't let out a sound. Only whimpers out of desperate struggle was out. He wriggled harder when Yamada retreated into darkness.

"I'm so sorry, Hijikata-san. We did everything that we can." Yamada said, emerging from the darkness while holding a tiny lifeless newborn on his hand. 

 

No

 

Wait

 

NO

 

_"Gintoki, we won't die. I promise that."_

 

No

 

"Hijikata-san, please calm down."

 

_NO! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN?!_

 

"Hijikata-san! At this rate, if you continue to do that.. "

 

_DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T TOUCH MY KID!_

 

"Hijikata-san!"

 

"Hijikata—"

 

 

"Hijikata!"

 

"I said don't—"

 

"HIJIKATA!"

 

Hijikata's eyes snapped wide open. There were three things he was suddenly aware of. One, Yamada or his dead kid is nowhere near. Instead, his bump is thankfully present where it should be. 

_'The kid is fine. It's fine. It's fine..._ the mantra echoed in his brain. 

Two, he's catching up his breath with the lingering suffocating sensation stuck in his throat. Three, the yorozuya boss is hovering above him with his wrists pinned in both sides of his head. Oh. Actually, there's a fourth one. The yorozuya's face is too close that he can feel his breath on his face and the intensity of his gaze, replacing the usual lazy eyes. 

"Yo—" Hijikata croaked with a hoarse voice. 

"Yaaaaah," Gintoki let out a breath of relief as he rested his head on Hijikata's shoulder. The grip on his wrists also loosened at the same time Gintoki spoke. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack, oi? Give poor Gin-san a break here."

"Gin-chan! Is the mayora good now?" Kagura piped in with a bucket of water in her hands. 

_'What does she need that water for? It's dangerously aiming at my face.'_ Hijikata noted. 

"Yeah, yeah" Gintoki said, his body limp on Hijikata though he's still careful not to squish the baby. His face resting on the crook of Hijikata's neck is giving Hijikata weird sensation. It's worsening the uncomfortable knot in his throat. 

"Abunai aru. I thought he's gonna kick the bucket, so I brought one with the water you yelled at me for, Gin-chan."

"Get him a glass of water, Kagura. A glass, okay? Put that away now. He's awake." Gintoki instructed as he untangled himself from Hijikata's personal space. "You okay?" Gintoki asked as Kagura went on her way to the kitchen. 

"What—"

"I thought you're going to suffocate with a nightmare, that's what happened. In case you don't remember too, you've been burning with a high fever and I'm not sure what to make you take since you're pregnant, so I called over Yamada sensei. Just when I thought you're going to sleep it off, you started thrashing around and began hurting yourself, so I had to pin you down like that. You won't wake up no matter what I did so Kagura almost poured that bucket on you. Good thing you finally came to."

"Oh..." For a moment, Hijikata was silent until Kagura was back with the water. He drank all of it in one go even even though Gintoki told him to do it slowly, so he gave a few feats of cough. 

"Taku, I told you to to slow down," Gintoki said, wiping the water that dripped out of his mouth with his thumb. Hijikata immediately shied away from the touch and wiped it dry with the back of his hand himself.

"I'm not a kid." Hijikata complained. 

"Ah really? You stubbornly act like one," Gintoki deadpanned. 

"Shut up."

"You good now, mayora? I'm going back to sleep now aru," Kagura said, rubbing her eyes. 

"Yeah, sorry for waking you up." Hijikata apologized. 

"Uyasumi," Kagura said as she retreated to her closet and slid the door of the room shut. 

"My, my, fever and nightmares should not mix in with you. What was it about? Did Edo run out of mayo?" Gintoki asked. 

"...yeah," Hijikata can't exactly tell Gintoki. The idiot will just freak out more than necessary. He already ranted out in his drunken stupor how shit scared he was when it comes to his and the baby's life line. Sharing about how the baby died in his nightmare doesn't sound good at all. There are things that are better off left unsaid. 

That wasn't the weirdest dream he's ever had in days though. The odd scenario where Mitsuba is holding a baby has been haunting him frequently as well. They just sit and talk but it's still uncomfortable in some sense. That kind of dream is not actually something that Hijikata will call a nightmare, but it's still as disturbing as the nightmare of Kondo-san's severed head in a public execution or the most recent, his kid's death at birth. 

In the other end, Gintoki doesn't have to be told this time. He's getting used to this kind of Hijikata and it's not like he's not already aware of the guy's thrashing around tendencies at sleep. He thought it's just the usual sleeping disorder at first until Hijikata started crying and hurting himself. Gintoki then knew that his usual tactic won't do. He tried waking him up and Hijikata suddenly mumbled not to touch him and his kid with painful sobs. It flipped a switch inside Gintoki and yelled for Kagura to wake up.

Gintoki knew, but he knew better than rip the wound open again. He just stared at Hijikata as he mindlessly rubbed his baby bump. Hijikata's strong urge to smoke was evident because of the agitated nibbling of his lower lip, to distract himself from the absence of a cigarette. Gintoki was impressed of how this chainsmoker is actually holding out. 

"Go back to sleep, Hijikata-kun." Gintoki said, breaking the silence in the room. 

"Ah, no. I think —" Hijikata was about to give an excuse but Gintoki already saw that coming and made himself comfortable in Hijikata's futon. 

_'Stop trying to act tough, idiot. I know you're scared,'_ Gintoki thought as he settled himself with a baffled Hijikata. "Scoot over." Gintoki demanded. 

"Ha?? Scoot over my ass! What are you doing in my futon? Go back to yours!"

"You want me I stoop over your ass?" Gintoki grinned. 

"That's not what I said!" 

"Aw come on. Don't be shy now, Oogushi-kun. Gin-san will chase your nightmares away. Gin-san won't let Edo run out of mayonnaise. Now, sleep." Gintoki said as he forcibly pushed Hijikata back on his pillow. 

"What the hell?!" Hijikata squirmed. 

"Don't be so noisy. I wanna sleep. Go ahead and sleep too." Gintoki said as he faked a yawn. 

"How can I sleep in such a cramped space?!" Hijikata squirmed. "Besides, I still have a cold! You'll catch it!"

"Think about the positive side, Hijikata-kun. It's warmer this way." Gintoki replied, making himself comfortable. 

"You'll drool over me!" He's obviously running out of excuses. 

"You'll live." Gintoki retorted with his eyes closed.

Hijikata clicked his tongue and turned to face the wall with his back against Gintoki. This is embarrassing. Even with all the protest, Hijikata actually calmed down after a few heartbeats. Gintoki's warmth right next to him was an assurance that he can feel something to grab into reality. Sure, it didn't wash away all the worries, but it's better. He's not alone. Hijikata closed his eyes and soon enough, he went back to sleep faster than he expected. 

Sensing that Hijikata's breathing is evening out, Gintoki dropped the act of pretending to be asleep. There's no way he can easily dive back into his slumber after all of that. He's too worried to sleep. What if he didn't wake up right away to notice that Hijikata is having an awful nightmare?

Hijikata is looking the other way so Gintoki sat up and bent over to have a look on Hijikata's face. Hijikata's peaceful face soothed most of Gintoki's worries even for just the time being. Maybe he can actually get some more sleep. 

Hijikata stirred and turned to face his way. Again, his face is too close. It's not like it's uncomfortable to Gintoki, but is it actually normal to feel like this while looking at another man's sleeping face? Hmm, yeah, probably it is. It's perfectly normal. It's also perfectly normal to wrap his arm over another man and pull him close. What are you talking about? Of course it's super normal! It's skinship in brotherhood! No ulterior motives involved, no. 

_'Oh he smells nice.'_ Gintoki thought and nuzzled Hijikata's hair. He paused, questioning what he's doing again. _'wait, what? Oh, it's also normal to smell him. I have a nose after all and he's near, so it's normal to smell him.'_

Gintoki have never claimed to feel so normal until that night. 

 

.  
.  
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"Hijikata still haven't recovered from the cold." Gintoki said with all protest first thing in the morning. Sougo came with work in his hands at the yorozuya's doorstep the next day. 

The young sadist eyed him from head to toe and from the looks of it, Gintoki won't be able to stop him even if he tries. The yorozuya boss is covered in a thick futon with a cold patch on his head and a face mask. 

"Looks like you got that cold, Danna," Sougo commented. "And here I thought idiots don't catch cold."

"Shut up. This place is full of bacteria now. Go home and be back when we're all good and healthy." Gintoki tried closing the door, but the classic Sougo still went straight right in. 

"Pardon my intrusion," he announced innocently, as if he's actually polite to begin with. 

"Oi!"

"Gin-san, I told you not to get up!" Shinpachi called out and when he saw Sougo, he understood why Gintoki insisted on answering the door. 

Sougo's persistence is understandable though. Gintoki prevented Yamazaki to get Hijikata last night for the meeting because their vice commander caught a cold, and Yamazaki couldn't exactly go against Gintoki. Knowing that the spineless spy wouldn't be able to get pass Gintoki today as well, Sougo went there himself instead. 

Sougo and Hijikata occupied the desk to talk about work. Gintoki wasn't lying. Hijikata haven't fully recovered yet, but that didn't srop him to get over with the discussion as expected. Despite all Shinpachi's protest that Gintoki should stay in bed, he stubbornly stayed in the living room and lied on the couch like an oversized sea cucumber to eavesdrop what Sougo has been filling Hijikata in from the meeting last night. By this point, the Shinsengumi officers don't see any reason to keep their work's matters secret from the yorozuya. It's like an unwritten agreement that they've joined houses at this point.

"You can't find records of this Namaye?" Hijikata asked. His voice is a bit obstructed by the face mask, but it's not really a problem. 

"Not even the planet where she came from. She said the culprit caused chaos there, but we can't look into anything beyond that. She's the only key to this investigation since every personnel connected to the case is under her orders." Sougo replied. 

"I'll talk to the old man. He better have an explanation for this." Hijikata said. 

"Kondo-san already phoned Matsudaira-ko. He said he didn't have a choice. The higher ups gave the orders."

"What?" Hijikata knitted his brows tighter and dialed on his phone. "That old man can't be serious."

"Don't contact him now. You'll waste all our efforts of hiding your situation from him." Sougo said, stopping Hijikata. "He's been demanding your presence. You know how hard it's been for us to hide you whenever he pulls out his gun."

Hijikata groaned. "You're right."

"Kondo-san wanted me to consult you regarding the situation, but I made arrangements ahead, if you don't mind," Sougo said. 

"Of course I'd mind!" Hijikata exclaimed, and a groan followed in resignation. "What mess am I supposed to clean up this time?"

"She's coming to the Shinsengumi for the intel that we have on the previous victims."

"The intel that _I_ have been working on!" Hijikata reminded. 

"Well, I'm planning to corner her right there." Sougo said, standing up. He paused for a second and stared at the sword beside Hijikata before returning his gaze back to his superior. "I'll report how it went, Hijikata-san."

"Sougo," before the young captain can leave, Hijikata called him out and Sougo paused. "You're not telling me something."

"I said, I'll report everything after confirming everything. See yah, Hijikata-san," Sougo said as he walked away. "Do get well soon. You're making Kondo-san worried about the Assassin number 14."

Gintoki propped his head up and glanced over Hijikata that clearly looks bothered. Ah, and here Gintoki thought he can keep Hijikata away from more stress. He's sure the mayora is still not fine after the nightmare. Whatever that concerns the child is a sore topic. 

"Nurse me back to health, Hijikata-kun~" Gintoki called out and it earned him a ridiculed look. Ah, that's better than that dreadful face. 

"I'm sick too, idiot. You've got Shimura-kun to do that for you," 

"I told you to call me Shinpachi, Hijikata-san," Shinpachi called out, inviting himself in the conversation. The two idiots merely ignored his entry though. 

"Patsuan won't look good in a nurse outfit," Gintoki reasoned. 

"I can hear you!" Shinpachi yelled out from the kitchen. Still ignored. 

"And you think I would?" Hijikata yelled at Gintoki at the same time. His ears are pink though most of his face is covered with the mask. Gintoki just stared at him blankly and Hijikata had enough of it. "HOY! Don't tell me you're actually imagining it!"

"I can't imagine properly. We should get that nurse outfit first." Gintoki said with the same dead fish eyes but the remaining skin the mask is showing depicted an awful blush. 

"Like he'll I'd wear something like that!"

"But it would—"

"NO!"

 

.  
.  
.

 

Sougo went back to the Shinsengumi and saw Harada. He informed the first division captain that a girl has been waiting for him in the office, so he went there right away. Kondo is away today to see Matsudaira in person regarding the matter at hand. (though the old man demanded for Hijikata) Only Hijikata has been informed of this plan and if he'd consider the eavesdropping perm head on the couch, only the two of them were aware of what he's trying to do. Both are too sick to try and stop him anyway. 

He stepped in and when he slid the door open, he saw Namaye smoking a familiar brand. She paused and glanced his way. 

"I hope you don't mind me smoking here," she said. 

"We were supposed to follow the smoking ban in here, but the bastard who's responsible for creating our Shinsengumi Code is constantly breaking that, so we forgot about it," Sougo replied. "Besides, that brand's smell isn't very foreign to my nose."

Namaye lifted an eyebrow at that, but didn't push the conversation. Seeing as Sougo is not getting inside the room and remained standing in the doorway instead, Namaye stood up. It's either Sougo wouldn't make this easy (which is something she already expected) or this isn't where they're doing this. 

"Follow me," Sougo instructed 

He lead her to the Shinsegumi's indoor training ground or simply the dojo. Namaye already has a feeling of what he wants to happen, but Sougo sat on the floor and gestured Namaye to do the same. With a lingering mistrust in her system, Namaye sat down with her guard up and placed her sword on the floor beside her. Once they're both settled, Sougo pulled out a thick brown envelope from inside his kimono and placed it on the floor in between him and Namaye. Namaye eyed it suspiciously then observed Sougo's face as she took the envelope and opened it.

She quickly skimmed through the contents and it didn't take her long to discover that it's not what she needs. She placed the envelope down with an annoyed glare sent straight to Sougo's innocent mask.

"This is not what I'm looking for," Namaye said, she doesn't need to hear Sougo's reply to confirm it. "It's signed by an individual named Yamazaki Sagaru."

"He's our spy. Of course he'd be the one reporting stuff," Sougo replied. 

"All of those were just grade school essays about anpan along with high school love letters to someone called Tama-san." Namaye deadpanned. It's impressive how she knew all that just by a few skimming. "This is not the paper I'm asking for."

"Well, getting the paper you're asking for is not exactly essay." Sougo shrugged. 

"Like hell it isn't! Are you making fun of me?? You think this is funny?!" 

"No, I think it was punny." Sougo deadpanned. 

"Quit it!" Namaye crushed her cigarette hard against the wooden floor. 

"To tell you honestly, that file you're asking for is the product of our vice-commander's all nighters." Sougo said, and Namaye clicked her tongue. Of course, what was she expecting? "You'll have to get through him personally first, but good thing you have me here. I'm the only one capable of having my hands on those. Even our commander can't get his hands on it. You can't expect me to just hand it over."

"What do you want?" 

"We could arrange that," Sougo said as he eyed Namaye's sword that was neatly placed beside her. "So you use a sword. If you defeat me in a match, consider us fully under your jurisdiction as well," Sougo suggested. 

This is clearly a trap. Namaye can see that brighter than the day. She huffed, quite amused, but she shouldn't dance into this guy's trap. She already knows that the young first division captain has his full suspicion on her. There should be another way around this. They won't be able to yield for long and cooperate. She doesn't have to deal with this guy now.

"I'd see your vice commander then." Namaye crossed her arms. Sougo saw the guard up with the gesture immediately. 

"Not even our chief superintendent was able to see him. What makes you think you would?"

"I'm taking my leave for now if that's the case. I'll return shortly with the authorization and claim over all the files regarding this case," Namaye said, preparing herself to leave. 

 

"Oh you're no fun. Would you at least humor me with a spar, Namaye-san?" Sougo still tried. 

"I would rather not. If that's all of what I came here for, then I'd be leaving," Namaye turned her back and walked away. 

Without a blink of an eye, Sougo charged at her in a speed of light. He grinned in anticipation as Namaye blocked his sword in the peak of the moment with the blade of her sword that was still half unsheathed. She glared at the young first division captain, still considering to refrain from a combat. Sougo noticed this of course. Namaye's other hand holding the scabbard is a clear indication that she's not intending to draw her sword. Sougo's bloodlust won't allow that. 

Knowing that she won't attack anytime soon, Sougo went for a different angle to aim for her left hand holding her scabbard. He'd rather get rid of that hand. In a swift motion, Namaye sheathed back her sword and used the sheath to misdirect the Sougo's blade. It was followed by another unrelenting attack that Namaye managed to dodge again. Just when Sougo thought Namaye lost her balance, he used her hand to flip herself up. Not letting her escape, Sougo thrust his sword and to defend herself in midair, Namaye kicked the flat surface of the sword away. She then went back on he feet in a smooth motion. Sougo took a careful note of the previous movements of his opponent before charging again. 

"That's an amazing display of pacifism, Namaye-san," Sougo said with a smirk then swung his sword, "It almost felt nostalgic."

"I don't understand why you want to fight me that much," she replied calmly as she dodged the attacks again. "I intend to keep a friendly relationship with the citizens of Earth."

"You're being rude if you ask me. Here in Edo, if a samurai challenges you to a fight, it's only polite to accept it!" Sougo exclaimed with a bloodthirsty swing that made it impossible for Namaye to keep on evading. With the grin on Sougo's face, Namaye mirrored his eyes as she finally drew her sword and clashed it with Sougo's to push him back. 

"Ah, really, I'm not actually polite, Okita-san," 

Namaye finally swung the sword in offense to Sougo's delight. Surprisingly, Namaye fights savagely. It's completely opposite to how she's been trying to avoid attacks. Sougo wouldn't complain though. This is just the opponent he needs. With the same bloodlust kicking in both of them, they exchanged heavy blows. Intending to finish this early, Namaye made use of her agility to get away from Sougo's blade and kick him hard against the wooden floor.

Sougo was about to claim his victory by stabbing her leg that was keeping him down on the ground, he paused and didn't go any deeper than an inch as he felt the blade of a sword against his pants strangely poking his jewels. 

"That's rude, Namaye-san. Aiming for a man's jewels, really." Sougo deadpanned and put away his sword in resignation. 

"That's for ruining a woman's fine leg," Namaye replied and lifted her bleeding leg away from Sougo as well. Sougo is pretty sure she didn't value her leg because of its alluring aspect. Namaye is pretty agile and she kicks during fights very effectively. 

As Namaye retreated without minding much about her bleeding leg, Sougo got up from the floor and stared at Namaye's sword. 

"That's not your sword," Sougo said. 

"Oh?" Namaye lifted an eyebrow and eyed her sword before glancing back to Sougo. "I ought to know my own sword, Okita-san."

"Really? Must've been my mistake then. Maybe _that is_ your sword and you're keeping _the other one_. I'm not sure how you got it, but that sword awfully looks like the sword of someone I know."

"I'm utterly confused, Okita-san. This conversation is no longer making any sense. I'm taking my leave." Namaye flashed him an icy cold glare and turned her back to leave the Shinsengumi HQ. She heard his retreating footsteps as well, but just when she was about to exit the establishment, she heard him calling out.

 

"You forgot something, Namaye-san," Sougo called out, making Namaye pause and look at him over her shoulder. 

Sougo suddenly tossed the torn ronin-gasa at her, and she caught it in reflex. She eyed the hat and sent Sougo a death glare which Sougo delightfully responded with a knowing smirk. 

"If you expect me to keep my mouth shut, show your face. Who are you really, _Namaye_?" Sougo challenged, earning a daggers of a glare from the woman who called herself Namaye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't get to fix errors on this one. I freaking dropped my phone in the toilet and it was all fucked up. I've been typing everything on my phone ~~thus the errors and I have to drain the water with rice sooo yup, I'm screwed.~~


	16. AU is a Tag But Not in This Fanfic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is Namaye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Errors ahead.

**  
A familiar pattern of one's kimono flapped it's wings and sprinkled golden dust amongst the darkness as Shin-chan's words echoed in her ears.**

**_"Are you familiar with the Butterfly effect?"_ **

**She lifted her hand and touched the butterfly. Even with the a gentle contact, the butterfly vanished into golden dust and she flinched, as if she just broke an expensive vase that she wouldn't be able to pay even with her life.**

**She looked around and found her five year old self lost in the darkness until a familiar figure was suddenly there. She immediately lit up and dashed to the person while calling out, "Shin-chan!"**

**"Let's take you home," Shin-chan said.**

**.**

**.**

**"Ah, you're just like him, aren't you?" the man she respected the most said with a fond voice. In response, she smiled in delight as the man patted her hair.**

**~~"You are not the person you're trying to replace, you know."~~ **

**Her smile was suddenly wiped out of her face.**

**_~~"You are not the person you're trying to replace."~~ _ **

**_'But I'm not..'_ **

**————————≠≠**

**"I never once regret the fact that you came to my life, you know... We never did." the man on his deathbed said and a pang of sadness ang guilt crept deeply in the her chest.**

**"I know.."  
**

 

Lifting her eyelids open, she realized that she drifted into her slumber while taking a bath. She brushed her bangs up away from her forehead and prepared to leave the bathtub. How long did she sleep? She shouldn't be sleeping. She needed to clean up some mess. 

 

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Sougo woke up with a sore throat and a headache. He looked around and realized he's been cuffed to the wall. Alarmed by the new information, he tried to get up and he felt another sore muscle on his back near his shoulder. He vaguely remembered the last bits of his memory before he lost consciousness and... Wait, what happened to him again? 

Ah, that's right. Everything started when he challenged Namaye and confirmed that she was the ronin at the stakeout in the lab. 

.  
.

 

_  
"Areh? What makes you think I own this ragged hat, Okita-san?" She lifted a brow._

_"I happen to remember how my escaped prey moves," Sougo grinned sadistically. "I witnessed only a few people who fought without trying to actually hit. Fighting you and comparing it with your fight with Danna is all I need to confirm that."_

_"Is that so?" Namaye scoffed._

_"You're not denying it."_

_"Nor admitting it," She smirked with a challenging glare. "What are you going to do about it?"_

_"The sword you used when you fought with the Yorozuya's Danna," Sougo said, making Namaye turn his way again. "Why do you have the same sword as our vice commander, Hijikata Toshiro?" Sougo answered the question with another question. "The last time I checked, which was this morning, Hijikata-san never lost sight of his sword."_

_"You should know this thing called mass production," Namaye replied._

_"That was a cursed sword that turned him into a useless otaku. How did you get yours, when you claim yourself as an amanto agent?" Sougo_

_"It was from a bargain sale."_

_"Liar."_

_"You don't have to believe it, officer-san." Namaye smirked._

_That ignited another sword fight which Namaye initiated. Sougo complied with much pleasure and the fight started to get more flashy by every minute until it got everyone's attention in the HQ._

_Despite the injury in her leg, Namaye managed to kick Sougo hard, sending him outside with the broken sliding door. He didn't land too ungracefully on the ground though._

_The commotion brought other troops into full attention and hurried to assist their first division captain, but was immediately ordered to stop._

_"Okita taicho!"_

_"Don't you dare interfere!" Sougo yelled out, effectively stopping them. "This one is my prey."_

_Namaye smirked at that then turned around to run out of all the sudden._

__

 

Ah, right. They fought again and the damn woman hit his back with the hilt of her sword before he lost consciousness because of the gas. That explains the back pain. 

 

The door opened and Sougo was greeted with a glare from familiar striking blue eyes that cannot be covered by the v shaped bangs over the person's forehead. The pitch black hair is oddly long like it was back in the days, but it wasn't tied into a ponytail like he remembered. Ah, that brand of cancer sticks again. This chain smoker really doesn't know when to stop. 

 

"Ah, you turned into a woman again, Hijikata-san," the last time Hijikata turned into a woman, he was a damn pig. This chick doesn't look anything like a pig. "You look different, but this fat over here stayed," Sougo said with a blank face then squished the other person's breast, only to find it somehow odd... And disturbing. 

Why did Hijikata turn into a woman again? Yeah, he's supposed to be pregnant and all but he still have the antenna between his legs and— wait. He's supposed to be pregnant. This person doesn't look pregnant at all. She's smoking! Hijikata stopped smoking because of the baby! Also... She's a lot shorter. Oh crap. 

Before Sougo can blink, he got knocked out _again_ with a roundhouse kick. 

.  
.  
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••••••

 

Later the same day in the yorozuya household/headquarters... 

 

"Hey,"

"..."

"Hey, Hey,"

"..."

"Kotaete," _(answer me)_

"..."

"Dareka imase’n ka?" _(isn’t anyone there?)_

"..."

"Zutto sagashite mo.." _(Even though I’ve looked all this time)_

"......Kotaenai ya." _(there’s still no answer)_

"Oh~ you finally sang along, Oogushi-kun," Gintoki said with amusement.

"Who are you calling Oogushi-kun, you natural perm?! That wasn't even singing! I was just trying to tell you that the baby won't answer, so shut up, stupid!"

"Your line was still suspiciously just like the lyrics. Well, why don't we continue? Hey, hey—"

"The kid got tired of your voice. Quit it," Hijikata said, having enough of Gintoki trying to talk with their unborn child as if it's actually going to reply. 

Hijikata's fever was already gone at most, while Gintoki was forced to stay inside the room and rest. Hijikata was supposed to feel better but the stubborn perm head said he's bored out of his mind and whined for Hijikata to at least keep him company. 

"You're just jealous the baby responds to my voice, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki retorted. 

"Why would I get jealous over something like that? Seriously, don't expect the kid to move everytime you talk. You should consider that the baby gets tired too," Hijikata said. 

"Ah, so you're taking a nap, Number 15? You should've told otosan. I guess it can't be helped. Let's rest together then, number 15," Gintoki finally relented. 

"Fucking finally," Hijikata mumbled with a sigh of relief. He's been trying to put Gintoki to sleep without hitting him for hours now. 

Hijikata was about to stand to exit the room and leave Gintoki to rest when the perm head grabbed his sleeve. 

"Where are you going?" the yorozuya boss asked. 

"Just in the living room so you can rest properly." Hijikata said, trying to pull his clothing back, but the perm just tightened his grip. 

"No, I said I'll rest together with Number 15. We're having a Father and baby bonding here," Gintoki complained. 

"Are you for real??"

"Do I look like I'm kidding? Here," Gintoki made a room on his futon for Hijikata and Hijikata gave a face of disapproval.

"I just started to recover from the cold and you're passing it back to me again." Hijikata firmly refused. 

"You should be immune to it by now. It came from you in the first place. I'm just giving your bacteria back to you, asshole," Gintoki retorted.

"Who are you calling asshole?! You're the one who jumped into my futon and forced me to sleep with you!"

"Oh~, how naughty, Hijikata-kun. Don't go implying stuff like that. Patsuan will hear you, you know." Gintoki gave off a mischievous grin. 

"I didn't mean it like that, you moron!" Hijikata exclaimed defensively with a flushed face. "Ah, that's it! Stay there yourself!" Hijikata stormed off and left Gintoki inside the room. Gintoki has no idea how much Hijikata wanted to stump on his face to erase that grin. 

_'Oh, perhaps I teased him too much.'_ Gintoki thought as he stared at the closed door. A playful smirk returned on his face in a snap though. _'Who cares? That face was priceless anyway.'_ Gintoki thought, suddenly proud of himself. 

Gintoki got a few hours of rest after that and Hijikata was bored out of his wits while watching the drama rerun on the TV just to kill time. He wanted something better to do, but he actually finished all the paperwork two days ago. Yamazaki haven't brought any work after Gintoki kicked him out saying that Hijikata is sick. 

A bark came from the doorway and that was an indication that Kagura is back from the walk with Sadaharu. Ah, walking outside must've been a good idea if it wasn't too cold for Hijikata. 

"We're back!" Kagura called out from the doorway. 

"Okaeri, Kagura-chan. Get a hold of Sadaharu. I'm cooking dinner." Shinpachi called out called out from the kitchen. 

"Sadaharu has been a good boy. Neh, Sadaharu?" Kagura inquired and the giant amanto door barked happily in response. 

Gintoki stepped out of the room and went over to the kitchen after a brief greeting to Kagura and the dog. 

"Gin-san, what are you doing here? Go lie back in the room to rest," Shinpachi scolded like a mother for the nth time that day. The perm head adult just never learned to listen. 

"I feel better, Patsuan. Hijikata-kun is good at nursing me back to health," Gintoki reasoned. 

"I didn't do anything," Hijikata deadpanned. 

"Gin-san, just go back to bed and rest!" Shinpachi is running out of his patience with this grown up man. 

"No offence Patsuan, but my baby would still prefer daddy's cooking. I'll make dinner instead."

"Come on, Gin-san. Number 15 will understand,"

"How do you expect a demanding baby to understand?" Gintoki retorted as he took over the kitchen. He's got a point. If you can't make this grown man understand, how can you do the same with an unborn kid who is apparently with the same genes?

Kagura went over to check out the food excitedly and the dog went over to Hijikata. The vice commander immediately protected his head before the dog can bite it like the usual. After few dodges that turned into a little play with the amanto dog, the two ended up lying down cuddled up with each other. Hijikata always found Sadaharu's belly the best futon to lie on. 

"Ew, Sadaharu, you're getting all chummy with my foster mami. You'll catch his v-bangs aru!" Kagura exclaimed and joined in the small cuddling battle in which Hijikata was not really minding. 

"You're supposed to tell me to go away or I'll catch his fleas," Hijikata said while relaxing on the warmth of the giant creature. 

"That's Gin-chan's line. I follow my own script," Kagura replied. That's not an assumption at all. It's Gintoki's line everytime he cuddles with the dog. "Gin-chan's job is look after you and my job is look after Sadaharu, so why would I tell you to do that aru?"

"Yeah, whatever," Hijikata said, not moving an inch from his comfortable spot. Well, not until his phone rang. Hijikata begrudgingly got up to go and fetch his phone. It was an email from Yamazaki and things suddenly stirred his instincts.

 

"Yorozuya, I want to head out," Hijikata announced. It sounds more like he's asking for permission in Gintoki's ears. 

"You want to stroll around?" Gintoki asked from the kitchen. Shinpachi refused to leave him on his own, so the glasses wearing human was assisting Gintoki in the kitchen. 

"Maybe after I visit the Shinsengumi Headquarters," Hijikata replied, earning a glance from the perm head. 

"You're worried about Okita-kun," Gintoki said. It doesn't sound like a question at all. It's a declaration. 

"The idiot said he'd report to me and tell me everything. It's late." Hijikata replied. It's pointless to bicker with Gintoki if their topic is Sougo. 

"When did he pass you a report on time anyway." came Gintoki's reply. The perm has a damn point. But still... Hijikata can't help but feel like something is off. 

 

 

 

.  
.  
.

Meanwhile... 

"Ah, naruhodo," Sougo had his Eureka moment with a small fist on palm gesture and a glowing bruise on his face. "So you're Hijikata-san in an alternate universe. I watched about that stuff in a movie once. Ah, so that's it then. If you're Hijikata-san in a different universe, then you're his opposite. You're a terrorist leader instead of a Shinsengumi vice commander. That makes sense. I can kill you now." 

"Ha??" Namaye glared with a puff of smoke. 

"See? Even your irritated face is perfectly the same. So he has always been like that. How unfortunate. It's like a curse."

"Are you seriously asking for another bruise on your face?" Namaye's eyebrow twitched. 

"Okay, let me hit you just once. I've been itching to have another assassination attempt to that bastard, but he's still carrying assassin number 14 so let me hit you instead. You're also Hijikata-san after all."

"What kind of childish thinking is that?"

"Come on. Just once. You hit me pretty bad too."

"That was for groping me." Namaye deadpanned. 

"I thought you're our Hijikata-san. We're both men, so it shouldn't be a problem. I'm sure he wouldn't have minded." Sougo justified. 

"Look, I get it. We look alike, but I'm not him."

 

 ~~"You are not the person you're trying to replace, you know."~~  
...

 

"Hijikata Namaye-san~?" Sougo snapped her back into attention. 

"Don't call me that," she groaned. Wait, that's actually more convenient than she was expecting. She can actually make use of this one. Saying that she's indeed from an alternate universe would be more convenient than explaining the truth without ruining her plans. "Okay, you got me. I'm his alternate self from a parallel universe, but I'm still not him, so dare to punch me and I'll pulverize you. I'm not a terrorist nor a Shinsengumi officer. I was practicing medicine back in my alternate universe." 

"Medicine, really? I never imagined that asshole as someone with that kind of profession. How old are you?"

"I'm 20. Accelerated." which isn't a lie. Sougo whistled at that. She didn't expect him to actually believe him right off the bat. 

"Then you're a genius?"

"That's rich coming from an 18 year old first division captain of Shinsengumi," Namaye scoffed with a smirk. 

"How do you explain your way of the sword then, sensei?" Sougo eyed him suspiciously. 

"My father taught me everything I have to know in fighting and the way of the sword, but I picked stuffs from others as well."

"So you have that. You know, one big happy family. Our Hijikata-san's family rejected him." Sougo said. It received an interesting expression on Namaye's face. 

"One big happy family, huh? I wouldn't exactly call it that," came Namaye's reply. Now that's something. 

"Why are you here then, Hijikata Namaye-san?" Sougo then asked. 

"I said, don't call me that. I have to investigate. As I said in my previous narrative, there's chaos back in my planet. A plague spread out without a cure, and according to the info I received, the culprit is in this universe."

"You're sticking to that story, huh? Well, fine. Suit yourself."

"If you don't want to believe that, that's not my problem." Namaye rolled her eyes. 

"This won't grant you the intel that we have," 

"That's fine. As I said, I can have it in way or another. I just hate it when you unnecessarily tail me around." Namaye replied. 

"Fine, ronin-san. Now can you uncuff my other hand as well? I'm not gonna grope you again, don't worry."

 

.  
.  
.  
.

 

 

It was late at night when Gintoki woke up with Hijikata's phone ringing. He's been sensitive to sounds at night more than usual lately because of Hijikata's previous nightmare incident. He sluggishly peeked an eye open and saw a glimpse of Hijikata getting up to answer his phone. Settling on the thought that it's just the demonic vice commander's job again, Gintoki decided to go back to sleep. 

"Do you have an idea what time is it right now? You're supposed to report to me immediately, you brat," Hijikata said in irritation. Gintoki mentally rolled his eyes, confirming it's Sougo. 

"What do you mean you're not back yet?" That made Gintoki keep his ears awake for a while longer with his eyes remaining shut. He's been eavesdropping a lot lately for sure.  
"...You stood me up longer than necessary and you just handed over my fucking papers as bait and bribery! I demand a better explanation, asshole!"

"You're noisy Hijikata-kun. Go back to sleep already," Gintoki grumbled, finally voicing out his complaints of Hijikata's time on the phone. 

Hearing that, Hijikata felt a slight guilt of being too loud in the room to disturb his roommate so he sighed and stood up. He might as well have to continue this conversation outside so Gintoki can sleep. After all, Hijikata thinks the perm head hasn't really fully recovered from the cold yet. 

"Yeah, yeah, my bad," Hijikata said before leaving the room and continued to argue with Sougo over the phone. 

_'Oi, oi, I said go back to sleep stupid workaholic Mayora!'_ Gintoki grunted out his frustration and sat up as well to follow suit on Hijikata. It's freaking cold out there! Is that idiot even thinking what time of the year it is? Gintoki grabbed a blanket after he covered himself up then headed outside. 

Gintoki knows that Hijikata plays an important role to keep the Shinsengumi on track and he does a job where Kondo can't cover, so the situation is understandable. It still irritates Gintoki though. It would be tough if he'll have new priorities soon enough. Soon, Hijikata won't be having only the Shinsengumi and its duties to protect. Their kid will step into their lives immediately and that should involve some major shifts in priorities. There _should_ be. Gintoki would take the kid if Hijikata can't put the kid first over his damn job.  
...

 

"Tell her to meet me if she wants the papers. I'll see if you sure didn't bury your head in the gutter and started talking about alternate universe crap," Gintoki heard Hijikata say as he got closer to the front door.

The silver head samurai opened the door and sure enough, he immediately saw Hijikata leaning on the railing while talking on the phone. 

"You just recovered from your cold and you're trying to catch another one. Wrap yourself up, asshole," Gintoki said and tossed the banket right at Hijikata's face. Thankfully, Hijikata caught it on reflex and glared at the perm head while still talking to Sougo in the phone. 

"I get it. Now go get your ass back in the barracks," Hijikata said before ending the call. He then glanced at Gintoki and said, "And you, you're not fully recovered. Go back inside."

"I'm good now. My immune system is always reliable when it comes to fast recovery. Plus, I'm not like some idiot who would go out in the cold with my pajamas." Gintoki said, emphasizing that he's all covered up. 

Gintoki was just leaning on the doorway as he observed Hijikata wrapping himself up. As it looked like, Hijikata was planning to stay outside longer than necessary. It went without saying that the demon vice commander was really itching for a stick of cigarette with that agitated look and nibbling of the lips (which Gintoki was NOT paying _too much_ attention thank you very much). This gave the perm head a defeated sigh. So much for dealing with a workaholic asshole. Stress is not good for the baby dammit. 

Gintoki walked towards him while scratching his head and leaned his back on the railing. Hijikata was facing the road downstairs with his arms propping his upper region's weight on the railing. 

"Oogushi-kun, this is why I said you should take this thing called maternity leave. My Number 15 will feel the same stress too, you know?" The yorozuya boss initiated the conversation. 

"I can't help it. They need me in cases like this so—"

"Are you seriously overestimating yourself or everyone else in the Shinsengumi are all just headless chickens without you?" Gintoki spat, "There goes all the taxes the people are paying. All wasted on incompetent flock of chickens with a sword."

"Ah? Do you think you have to complain about taxes when you don't even pay taxes, you halfwit?" Hijikata glared. 

"You're using that word against the great Gin-san here again! I'm the main character here, you asshole! That obviously means I'm a million times better than any other character here!"

"Wow. No wonder they designed Kintoki to correct your imperfections starting from your natural perm," Hijikata huffed in annoyance. 

"Oi! Gin-san is the best main character that you'll never get bored of, bastard. And why are you bringing that golden boy in this conversation? I didn't know you are now in first name basis after that sweet little short talk." Gintoki spat. Really now? The bastard is bringing that golden boy up?? 

"You're just jealous he has a straight hair," Hijikata deadpanned. Gintoki has never felt so insulted that night. 

"I'll have you know, this hair is my biggest charm point! Apologize to my perfect perm!" Gintoki retaliated. 

"Why would I apologize to that bird nest you call a hair?!" Hijikata growled and that's Gintoki's cue to end this bickering at this juncture. Apparently, this pointless argument is not helping Hijikata relieve his stress. 

"I get it, I get it. Let's stop this. This isn't helping to erase those permanent lines on your face," Gintoki said while poking around the pockets of his clothing. Hijikata raised a brow on that. What is he trying to find? 

Finally, the natural perm looked like he finally found it and took it out of his pocket. He then handed it over to Hijikata. Hijikata eyed it confusingly only to realize that it's a lollipop. It doesn't take a genius for him to realize that the perm is offering sweets to at least ease his stress or just offering it for a truce. Hijikata took it albeit reluctantly, and examined it more closely. 

"It's strawberry flavored. Go on, try it," Gintoki said, and that's all that Hijikata needed to hear before immediately unwrapping it. The sight always gave Gintoki a warm sensation. A Hijikata who can easily be bribed with food is easy to handle. The lollipop did the trick and a few lines on his forehead disappeared.

"I thought you can be fine if you just handle the intelligence sector, but apparently, I can't save you from the stress." Gintoki sighed.

"You don't have to save me from anything." Hijikata glanced at him with a ridiculed face.

"I want to, stupid. Don't tell me what to do." Gintoki said, earning a look from Hijikata. 

"I'm saying you don't have to. You're not responsible of me." Hijikata insisted his point. 

"I am... At least while I can still keep you here." Gintoki said. Their gaze met and Gintoki didn't miss the surprise in Hijikata's face before he can immediately school it back into his usual stoic demeanor. 

"Don't talk like that, idiot," Hijikata grumbled a reply as he tore his gaze away from the perm head. Is the idiot actually saying he wanted Hijikata to stay? Why? Oh, that's right. The agreed that Hijikata would have the custody of the kid.

"You'd still leave even if I tell you to stay, wouldn't you?" Hijikata heard Gintoki say and Hijikata gave out a bitter chuckle. 

"You're still high on fever aren't you? You're talking funny," Hijikata deadpanned and Gintoki pulled him close to face him and bump their heads. They locked their gazes and the unusually determined red orbs met the surprised and baffled blue orbs. With Hijikata's shock, he wasn't able to react immediately. 

"See? I'm not that warm anymore. I'm perfectly fine and I'm being serious here for once, Hijikata-kun." Gintoki said and finally, Hijikata snapped out of it and pulled himself free. Gintoki let him off as he pinned his gaze to the man next to him. 

_'Oh, he's just making me check his temperature. Just making me check his temperature,'_ Hijikata reassured himself as he looked somewhere else as long as it's not Gintoki's eyes. 

"Fine, you returned to your idiotic normal self now." Hijikata said. 

"After all of these... Do you really have to leave?" Gintoki pushed the topic. 

_'You just want your kid, don't drag me along just because I want the kid's custody too.'_ Hijikata thought bitterly.

"If you're just trying to compromise, I can make arrangements for you, Yorozuya. The kid can stay here when I'm mostly busy, which is basically the entire morning. If you want sleep overs, we can arrange that. You don't have to drag me along just because I don't want to give away my kid," Hijikata spat then walked towards the door. 

"Hijikata—"

"I'm going back to sleep," Hijikata said before Gintoki can convince him to stay and prolong that string of conversation. 

As Hijikata's figure retreated into their room, Gintoki let out a defeated sigh and looked up on the ceiling. Hijikata sure got pissed on that. He didn't have to be so pissed off. If the mayora just let him finish talking...

Gintoki followed inside not long after. Maybe next time they can talk about this better... Maybe next time. For now, he should sleep.

 

.  
.  
.

 

The morning started in the routine that Hijikata have slowly gotten used to in the yorozuya household. Fixing himself up in the bathroom only to realize that the yorozuya is doing his business in the toilet while reading the morning news paper, bickering at breakfast, having Shinpachi at 8 in the morning, lazying around, forcing the yorozuya to go get himself a job, more bickering, and more. Nothing really out of the usual. Well, not until Sougo finally showed up... with company. 

"As promised, she's here, Hijikata-san." Sougo said and Hijikata glanced at the doorway in which he saw a girl.. about 165 cm with a pair of blue eyes reflecting his own. She looks mature despite the height and the young face, but that's not the interesting part. They look just alike. She has the same pitch black hair with the hint of dark green when hit by light and that unmistakable v shaped bangs. 

It's not just Hijikata who's surprised and confused. Even the entire yorozuya was confused. What's happening? Hijikata schooled his features and acted professionally. 

"Have a sit, Namaye-san." Hijikata said and Namaye sat on the red couch opposite to Hijikata's. The yorozuya kids were at the back while the two Shinsengumi personnel sat on the couch opposite to Namaye's. Gintoki chose to sit on his hammock like swivel chair at his desk like a professional, albeit arrogant boss who's just too carefree. 

"Well, what do we have here? I didn't know we have another Oogushi-kun," Gintoki broke the silence with a pinky pricking his nose. "Oi, Hijikata. Don't tell me you knocked someone up while fooling around as a kid."

"Don't lump me in with you, asshole! I never fooled around and do your Maths! She's too old to be my daughter out of being a horny teenager!" Hijikata yelled at the perm head as a reply. 

"That's why you should listen to people when they tell you something, Hijikata-san. I told you, she's your alternate self from a parallel universe. She goes by the name Hijikata Namaye—"

"Namaye is fine," She interrupted. "I believe you've been informed about the nature of my visit, Hijikata Toshiro-san."

"Yes," Hijikata replied and his eyes drifted into the sword beside Namaye. This didn't go unnoticed by the said person and initiated to offer her sword. 

"I knew you'd be curious. You can have a look," Namaye said and handed the sword over. 

Hijikata accepted it and examined it closely. He unsheathed it halfway to examine the blade and he confirmed that it was indeed his sword. Sougo wasn't wrong. He took his own sword and compared tho two only to confirm their difference. Namaye's sword surely looked a lot more used with cuts and marks that Hijikata can't recognize where it came from. Finished with having a look, he returned the sword to its owner. Perhaps this woman right here is actually his alternate self. 

 

"So you're a doctor. Why would they send a doctor out here instead of an actual agent to catch the culprit?" Hijikata asked. It's suddenly interrogation mode though Namaye expected as much.

"Woah! You're a doctor? That's amazing aru!" Kagura beamed. "That's a hundred times better than being a tax thief!"

"Eh? You're a doctor in the alternate universe, Hijikata-san?" Shinpachi asked in disbelief. "What about me?"

"Me too! What was I like in there aru??" Kagura leaned close in excitement. "Tell me! I'm a sexy lead female character right??"

"Shut up, China. Everything was different in her universe. She can't tell us much since she haven't met everyone that our Hijikata have met here. Her story is completely different," Sougo said, replacing the excitement in the kid's features with confusion.

"How about you then, Okita-san? You're with Hijikata-san before he came to Edo, right?" Shinpachi inquired. 

"Yes, she knows an Okita Sougo there. He's a top caliber vice commander of Shinsengumi who have overthrown —"

"That's not what I said," Namaye interrupted with a twitching brow. "The Okita I knew was indeed the vice commander of the Shinsengumi... But no overthrowing happened. I haven't seen him since.." A wave of unpleasant images flashed before Namaye and she forced herself to get a grip and drop it. They didn't have to know. "ah nevermind."

"That's amazing. Okita-san actually had the position he's been dreaming about in there." Shinpachi said with an impressed note. 

"So you haven't met me and the kids?" Gintoki finally spoke in the room, making Namaye's breath hitch. Now all ears are in for the answer. 

"No, I haven't," Namaye replied, not exactly meeting Gintoki's gaze. 

They all looked at Gintoki to see his reaction and after a couple of heartbeats, the perm head's dead fish eyes looked away and hummed. "Ah, is that so? Well then, my alternate self must be a lot luckier out there," 

Suddenly, the ambiance of the room fell heavy. Hijikata didn't bicker with him and Gintoki knew at some point that it's either he fucked up again or Hijikata has been thinking of something else entirely. He sure hoped it's the latter. Please let it be the latter! Sougo kept talking about things that Gintoki doesn't really care about. At that very moment, Hijikata's silence was killing him. 

_'Come on Mayora! I thought I told you not to give me that silent treatment and sulk around the corner then run away! Say something oi! How do you expect me to react to what she just said?! Admit that I'm actually upset that you met Okita-kun out there while you haven't met Gin-san because you freaking decided to become a doctor?!'_

Gintoki is at his wit's end. Hijikata still haven't spoken a word and his pride won't let him blatantly admit all that after their conversation last night! 

Shinpachi noticed the tension between the two, and he's sure he's not the only one that noticed it. Even Namaye looked sort of uncomfortable about it. The straight man got to do what a straight man gotta do. 

"If you don't mind me asking, Namaye-san, how old are you? You look quite young to be a doctor." Shinpachi asked with a polite smile. 

"That's right! You look so young aru!"

"I'm 20 years old but I've been practicing medicine because I was accelerated. I'm not exactly licensed yet though."

"Oh! Then that means you haven't met us yet," Shinpachi brightened up. "Hijikata-san met us on over his late or mid twenties. Isn't that good, Gin-san? Namaye-san will eventually meet the other you in seven years." Shinpachi said. 

_'What are you smiling about, Patsuan?! Seven years is such a freaking long time!'_ Gintoki thought. 

"Well, that is, if they'd still be alive to see that future," Sougo turned the atmosphere sour again. So much for all Shinpachi's efforts. "Namaye's universe has been at a war now while suffering an incurable disease. The perpetrator was said to be here in our universe to do the same, so she came here to investigate. Apparently, the recent victims of the case she's been handling have shown signs of the symptoms of the plague that spread in her Edo."

"I see..." Hijikata finally spoke. Probably he's been thinking hard about the case after all. "Well, I can't exactly hoard what we have regarding the case if you're in charge. I just have a condition. I want to be updated of this investigation. Whatever happened in your Earth can happen here. We'd like to avoid that at all costs." Hijikata said as he gestured Sougo to hand over the papers that she needs. This time, it's the real deal as Namaye checked them. 

"Of course. Thank you for your cooperation, Hijikata-san." Namaye stood up and bowed politely. "I should be going now."

Shinpachi accompanied her outside and Hijikata still kept on thinking. Something still feels off. 

"So you believe her, Hijikata-san?" Sougo inquired. 

"I know myself when I lie. She's been telling the truth except for one time," Hijikata said. 

Hijikata Toshiro has three faces of lies. He'd say an outright lie with a stupid excuse for petty things and he'd stutter if he's trying to cover up something stupid or embarrassing. However, he'd give an entirely different face if he would lie about a dead serious matter... And he won't be able to look at the person in the eye. Just like how he rejected Mitsuba and told her he doesn't care. 

But why? It would've been easier if it wasn't Sougo who did all the talking about the alternate universe crap. He can't exactly tell if that's even accurate. If it was Namaye, he would be able to tell if she's really from a parallel universe .. or form a distant point of the timeline. 

Even so, why would she lie about that? 

_'Why would she lie about meeting the yorozuya?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who recognized the song, raise your hand! I unconsciously sing it all the way after saying "hey" two times in a row. Lol. Did I also mention that I write with heavy dialogue? I know, I should work on that one, but I love the talks too much.  
> I bet most of you pretty much have a vague picture about it now. How did it go with your theories?


	17. Yorozuya janai, Gintoki da!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Eh?" ...what? Married? Him?! Even Sougo was surprised. Crap. What is he supposed to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna update now coz it's gonna be a busy week. As thank you, here's your almost 6k words. I got motivated from the overwhelming feedback on the last chapter.

"He... He knew I lied at some point, didn't he?" 

Namaye felt weird facing them. She had to run. If she stayed there longer, her mask would definitely break. She ran as if she's trying to burn her calories of mayonnaise intake for that day. Hijikata Toshiro's gaze was quite intense, she should say. She felt like he's piercing through her soul with that gaze. That made Namaye feel restless the whole time. Good thing Sougo talked about the alternate universe explanation or else she'd totally be busted right there. 

How can someone you never met know you so well? How can _he_ know someone _he never met_ has been telling a lie? Was it a police thing? Sougo was like that at some point, but not really... No, that was completely different. It was easy to lie at Sougo's face and get away with it, but lying at Hijikata Toshiro felt entirely different. 

"Damn it," Namaye cursed underneath her breath and hurriedly went into her small laboratory. 

The moment she closed the door of the lab, she leaned against it and inhaled deeply. She can't falter now. She can't... But she can't help but be human as well. She never felt so far even though she was close enough. No, scratch that. It wasn't close _enough._

 _"ahhh I wanted to hug him,"_ she groaned wiping a _sweat_ that trickled down her face.

 

Namaye stayed inside the lab for the next 29 hours after leaving the yorozuya household. Everything feels weird and her vision is starting to blur. She definitely needs eyeglasses. She completely forgot about eating and rest. Or... Maybe she didn't. She just chose not to. Perhaps she needs distraction and she chose a distraction that is actually productive, that's why she chose to submerge herself into work. 

She started to feel drowsy after going through the result papers for the fifth time, but she immediately shook it off her system to fight it off. She knew that she needed to rest, but perhaps, she's afraid of what kind of nightmare she's going to have again. It's nothing new by now, but she can never get used to it. It always feels like everything went back. 

Maybe her brain demands food to function. Food it is. She took out her mayonnaise and went out of her lab to grab some bread and water. With an excessive amount of mayonnaise and a piece of bread, she went back in her workplace, hoping that her brain would be fully functional this time. 

Namaye decided to go over the reports and the data she had from her own Edo. It doesn't make sense. There were faint clues that it's showing the same symptoms as the plague, but it felt off. How was it related? Why are the bodies missing their arm? What's with the arm? 

She rubbed her eyes then she felt a mosquito bite so she mindlessly slapped her arm where she felt the insect bite. She then checked her arm and sure enough, a squished mosquito stuck on her skin along with an amount of blood that the fucker managed to collect. As she stared at it longer, things started to click into place. She hurriedly went over Hijikata's papers and the results then she ran a few more tests to ensure her hypothesis. Mayonnaise sure does wonders. 

"Bingo," she said to herself then dialed on her phone. It rang a few more times before the midget finally picked up. 

**"I'm not on Earth, brat. You've got a nerve to call me during a crucial transaction. Why are you calling?"**

"I need an equipment and a complete list of active amanto operated laboratories here in Edo." Namaye said, not even a bit sorry or worried about the transition she just interrupted. 

**"Well aren't you just demanding?"** Takasugi replied, quite amused. 

"I have every right to be. You're selling the drug I formulated at this very moment," Namaye replied. She's confident Takasugi will give him everything she asks even without pointing that one out though. 

**"Indeed. Well, I told you to phone Takechi if you need anything. I thought I made it clear that I'll be the one who'll call you and not the other way around."**

"I hate talking to that lolicon," Namaye said, and before Takasugi can suggest Matako, she made it clear that her call wouldn't be as effective as Takasugi's orders himself. "And you think they'd actually listen to me? Tell them yourself."

 **"Fine. You'll have everything first thing in the morning. Go get some sleep or you're not getting what you need. You sound like shit and I need you alive to get this drug going. Don't call me again,"** that's the last thing the midget said before ending the call. 

"As if you won't answer immediately if I did call you again." she mumbled. 

Ironic, isn't it? She can formulate a drug for an amanto disease but she couldn't cure the plague in her own kind. The least thing that she could do before leaving her Edo and come here was to produce a vaccine for immunity against the plague. It wasn't enough though. Not to mention, it's already too late. A lot have died including the people she wanted to protect. There were already dying people overpopulating hospitals and there is still no cure. If only she found out about it sooner... 

Namaye slumped on her chair and emailed the specifications of the equipment she'd be needing. She definitely needed that sleep, but she would hate the nightmare that goes along with it. She's pretty sure it's going to be another one after meeting everyone. She went over the couch and lied down anyway. The midget will know if she didn't. Screw it all, she's tired. 

 

....  
...  
..  
.

**  
"Sora! Sora, please wake up! Sora!" a mother cried her eyes out while shaking her dead son awake. Her husband was there as well, holding on his son's cold hand tightly with his face down.**

**It had been like this. Death after another death. This young man over here has been a good friend and to Namaye. The idiot never listened... She told him not to go out there in the battlefield... But the idiot never listened. She told him that he'll get infected... He never listened.**

**.  
.**

**"What are you doing?" that voice took her attention from preparing the gear to go out in the battlefield.**

**"Our men need me out in the battle and not here stuck in the Haven, Okita-san,"**

**"No, we need you safe. Sora will never be back even if you go out there and fight,"**

**"You think I don't know we've been fighting a war that we can't win?! He's dead, all the people around me are dying and I have no idea if you guys would even make it back here alive and uninfected! Then you expect me to stay still and tend people to see them suffering and all I can do is prolong their agony?!"**

**"You're keeping them alive,"**

**"They live to suffer? Until when?" she scoffed with voice full of mockery.**

**"And you think I care?! They're dead. My men are dying, and _he's_ dead. We don't know what else to do. I can't find myself to care anymore." Sougo replied, taking the gear forcibly out of her grasp. **

**"Okita-san!" she protested.**

**"All I can do now, is protect what Sora has been trying to protect. So shut up and stay alive." Sougo said as he walked towards the gate another figure was waiting for Sougo at the gate and held his shoulder affectionately before they made it outside..**

**.  
.**

**The kimono pattern came to life again, spreading golden dust everywhere. She's lost... And she feels useless. The heavy weight of guilt is attached on her entire being. This is not right. She should fix this.**

**"Were we.. supposed to die?"**

**"Are you familiar with the butterfly effect?" Shin-chan asked. "The concept is simple. A flap of a butterfly's wings causes the storm of tomorrow. How would you solve that?"  
**

...  
..  
.  
.

 

The next morning, the new equipment she asked for came as promised. She woke up as tired as she went to sleep. Well, that's always the feeling after waking up from another unpleasant dream. She scanned all the records of amanto operated laboratories and phoned Sougo. She hoped that it will finally go downhill from there. 

.  
.  
.

 

The yorozuya headquarters has been quiet... strangely quiet. Even the kids kept silent. Sadaharu barked out of the blue and that's something. They went back to silence and Hijikata snapped. 

"What's your problem, Yorozuya?!" Hijikata exclaimed, completely destroying the silence. 

"Which yorozuya? There are three yorozuyas here. Make it four including Sadaharu," Gintoki replied with a pinky pricking his nose. 

"I don't call anyone else yorozuya other than you, stupid! That's China, that's Shimura-kun, and that's Sadaharu!" Hijikata said, pointing at everyone else in the room each time by enumerating their name. 

"I've been telling you to call me Shinpachi, Hijikata-san," Shinpachi said. 

"Only Sadaharu was called with his proper name. Were you that close aru?" Kagura said. Apparently, Hijikata thinks so. 

"Call me with my name too, idiot. What's this? A dog is higher than Gin-san?" the idiot perm complained. 

" _That's_ your problem? That's why you haven't been talking to me, asshole?" Hijikata asked in disbelief. How much petty can this idiot get? 

"I'm talking to you now. Are you deaf?"

"No, you haven't been talking to me! What's your problem?!"

"What's _your_ problem yelling at Gin-san like that?!" 

"Stop it, Gin-san. Just tell him already," Shinpachi said, tired of hearing two grown up men bickering childishly. 

"What am I supposed to tell this idiot then?" 

"Don't make me say it, Gin-san," Shinpachi deadpanned then stood up to leave. "Let's go Kagura-chan. Let's leave them be. You better fix this before we get back." the straight man called out from the doorway where Kagura followed suit with Sadaharu. 

"So, what's your problem?" Hijikata asked, calmer this time.

"Try calling me with my name," Gintoki replied instead. 

"Seriously? That's your problem?"

"It's not, but let's start with that," Gintoki said with a bored face. 

"You mean there's actually a lot? You've been holding a list of grudges against me and it's starting to pile up, is that it?" 

"No. Just do it, Hijikata-kun. You call me with my name a few times already, so this shouldn't be a problem, right? Go on. Try it. Say, 'Gintoki'," the yorozuya boss said. Hijikata's brow twitched. The last time he acted like this was when he's drunk and Hijikata tolerated that because a drunk guy won't listen to reason. 

"If it shouldn't be a problem and I've already called you that a few times already, then what's your deal?" Hijikata asked, knowing that this idiot is just looking for an excuse to avoid the actual problem. He might not get what's inside that perm head sometimes, but when it comes to a few things, they're generally alike. 

"Well, you call me yorozuya most of the time and that feels so distant," Gintoki justified. Is he really gonna be this difficult? 

"Distant?"

"Why? Who do you call with their first name without any honorifics attached?" This time, Gintoki's neutral face was replaced with a frown. 

It got Hijikata thinking. The perm head is right. There are only a few people he calls with their first name without honorifics. Even the gorilla Kondo Isao has been called Kondo-san all this time. There are only very few including Mitsuba and Gintoki. He's just used to the nickname yorozuya more often, but he never called the perm head with anything else aside from the nickname, and a few insults. It always started as Gintoki. Never did it start from "Sakata-san", "Gintoki-san", or the overly used "Gin-san".

But if you try to think of it, without even realizing it, he has been calling someone in a first name basis without honorifics more frequently. Scratch that. It's actually always. **Sougo**. He can't remember anyone else actually. Crap. An argument about Sougo never turns out easy with this idiot. 

"Is this about Sougo again?" Seriously, what's his deal with Sougo? Hijikata has no idea how to deal with Gintoki when he's like that. He really doesn't understand because whenever he's acting like this, it's weird and out of their usual wavelength. 

"No, forget it. It's nothing. Call me whatever you want. Who cares?" Gintoki had a sudden shift of attitude and avoided eye contact at all cost. 

Hijikata is full of this crap. "I'll call you Gintoki from now on. Is that better, _Gintoki_?"

"Hmm. That's better," Gintoki hummed in satisfaction. 

"We okay now?" Hijikata inquired. 

"We're good. It's just that.. I've been thinking..."

"Wow. That's rare. Should I be impressed now?" Hijikata mused.

"I think a lot too, bastard!" Gintoki exclaimed and the damn mayora just chuckled at that. "I'm being serious here! I was just thinking... What if we met each other sooner?"

"Does it matter?"

"Hmmm... Maybe," Gintoki hummed thoughtfully. 

"Is this about what Namaye said?" Hijikata managed to connect the dots. Gintoki returned his gaze to Hijikata and sighed.

"In a world where we didn't meet... Have you thought how it would've turned out? Probably you got married in a suitable age since you no longer have that 'I live by the sword and shall die by the sword' excuse. Probably —"

"Probably there will no longer be a Shinsengumi," Hijikata butted in. "We stayed as Shinsengumi thanks to you. I wouldn't forget. We owe you, Gintoki," 

Gintoki smiled at that. "See? It has a better ring on it. Call me by my name more often," Hijikata scoffed at that. This guy is impossible. "And you're right. I guess it doesn't matter whether we met or not in a different world. I met you here. That's all that matters,"

Hijikata was silent for a while. Probably thinking Gintoki's words over. "Actually, she lied about not meeting you."

"What? I thought when you said she lied about one thing, you meant her profession. No matter how you look at her, I can't see her as a practicing doctor when her way of the sword feels too familiar. You should've seen her fight. Okita-kun will agree with me. She's a natural using that sword,"

"Her way of the sword? It feels too familiar?" It got Hijikata's interest. Gintoki is not a typical jump hero who shouts out his technique and has a specific label of his sword style, but if Gintoki put it like that, he meant that Namaye was very much acquainted with Gintoki's way of the sword. 

It's confirmed then. "She did meet you there then. Perhaps she fought with you on a regular basis. At some point, I feel like there are a lot of things she's been hiding."

Hijikata's phone rang and sure enough, it's about work again. As it appears, Namaye works fast. They're raiding an amanto operated laboratory where the missing arms of the victims were found. Sougo said he can't explain everything on the phone, so they better get their ass over there and see for themselves. 

Of course, Gintoki went with him. Hijikata didn't wear his uniform. Besides, his belly outgrew them already, and he shouldn't be seen in public with his condition. Gintoki made him wear a traditional hat and a haori jacket. They also had to improvise more coverings so that the bump would look like a mere belly fat.

Once they're good to go, they set out and went over to the said location. There, they saw the busy crowd of people poking their head around the commotion and the Shinsengumi personnel securing the area. 

Not long, they found Namaye talking with Sougo while placing a cigarette between her lips. She then lit it up and took a drag before replying to whatever Sougo just said. 

"Yo," Gintoki called out. The two glanced their way and Namaye sure did wear a surprised face. She then dropped her cigarette and crushed it with her shoe. 

"What a waste. You just lit that," Gintoki said as he stepped closer with Hijikata beside him. 

"I can't smoke around pregnant people, can I?" Namaye replied. 

"True," Gintoki shrugged in nonchalance.

"You smoke the same brand," Hijikata said, earning another surprised face from Namaye. 

"Eh?"

"When I talked about the bastard who constantly broke the non smoking area policy in the Shinsengumi, I was talking about this guy. That's why I said the brand isn't foreign to me," Sougo informed monotonously. 

"Yeah, yeah, you can bond over your love for chain-smoking later. Let's discuss this somewhere else," Gintoki said, looking around. Apparently, they can't just spew out information out there in the open. 

"I'm already here. Let me see the situation inside first." Hijikata said. 

They all agreed and went back to the yorozuya headquarters after Hijikata examined the place then interrogated the amanto who were caught in the laboratory. They refused to talk as expected, and Gintoki had to restrain Hijikata for wanting to interrogate them the original way. Sougo then called Yamazaki to bring a patrol car over and drive them back to the yorozuya headquarters. Once settled there, they started to discuss the case. 

 

"Hijikata-san, how many were reported that were infected by the parasites?" Namaye asked. 

"When I first had myself checked, I inquired Yamada-sensei. He said that there were 6 recorded cases here in Edo. Why? Is it connected to this case?"

"Apparently, there are more than 20 hosts according to the retrieved records of this laboratory," Namaye replied. 

"What?"

"As I went further into research, it appears that the victims were all hosts by the parasitic amanto," Namaye said, making everyone in the room still. 

"Wait, you mean, Hijikata-san and Danna will end up like them?" Sougo asked. 

"Not really," Namaye explained. "The DNA injected in them were not even human's DNA. That's why the bodies rot. The victims were apparently used as lab rats without even the victims realizing it."

"So I'm lucky I got this idiot's DNA injected in me to bear a child?" Hijikata asked. 

"Yeah, apparently, it's either you received it from another human or the genetically engineered DNA these amantos used. It was no accident that the parasitic amanto was released on Edo. It was probably for this purpose."

"So this case is closed," Sougo then said. "How about your search? Was it them?" 

"It could be them, but the DNA they engineered was not yet perfect. The plague isn't like that. It isn't that less painful and fast."

"Then there's more into this." Hijikata crossed his arms. "You're staying here longer than expected then."

"I've got a lot to fix actually." Namaye said. Hijikata eyed her in wonder. By the looks of it, she's been trying to say something, but she can't say it.

"If you have something to say, say it," Hijikata said, making Namaye flinch. 

"I'd like to speak to S—Sakata-san alone, if that's fine," Namaye managed to say with a stutter, to Sougo's surprise. He never saw Namaye out of her composure. Maybe he should make her face Hijikata a lot more so that confident air around her will disappear. Apparently, Hijikata's ability to see through her makes Namaye tense in the sadist's perspective. 

"Me?" Gintoki wondered. 

"Who else is Sakata-san here?" Hijikata narrowed his eyes. Unbeknownst to them, Namaye's fist clenched. 

"Well I dunno, you? Were you secretly married to me after all?"

"As if! I'm leaving you to this idiot then, Namaye," Hijikata said as he stood up and dragged Sougo who looked as if he has no intention of leaving. 

Once alone in the room, Gintoki cleared his throat. Namaye looked less tense by now and before she can say a word, Gintoki inserted a pinky to prick his nose.

"So, you asked to talk to me with that stutter. Are you going to confess to Gin-san like a shy school girl?" the perm head said and it earned an unamused deadpan from Namaye. 

"The other individuals who became hosts and were given a normal human DNA... Do you have an idea how they've been holding out?" Namaye asked. 

"Actually, no. But I heard most of them chose abortion," Gintoki said. 

"True, those who chose abortion is safe from further complications. But two of the others who chose to keep the baby died. One had a miscarriage and according to the papers I received from the hospital, only Hijikata-san and another female host has been holding it out just fine."

"What?"

"It's important to keep an eye on him this third trimester. He's in pain more than it looks," Namaye said, standing up. "That's all. I have to go. I've got to handle the interrogation."

"Hold it right there," Gintoki said, making Namaye pause. "Sit back down. I've got more things to ask,"

"I'm afraid I can't spare more time in here," Namaye refused. If he's going to ask more about her Edo, it's going to be troublesome. 

"Really? No more time for poor Gin-san? It can't be helped. When would you be free to come over then?"

 ** ~~ _"When are you coming back over?"_~~**  
A sudden pang of guilt echoed in her chest. Her breath hitched and she made her way back on the couch and sat. 

"Fine, I can make time. The interrogation can wait," she sighed.

"See? You don't have to always put work first," Gintoki said. "So, how's your day?"

"Eh?"

"I just felt like I should ask that first. You look like shit, you know. You look like Hijikata who pulled three straight all nighters. How bad was it?" Gintoki said. 

**~~_"You look like shit. How bad did your day go?"_ ~~ **

"I— I just wanted to get things over fast so... Yeah, I pulled an all nighter. It's fine now," Namaye replied, avoiding eye contact. This felt weird. It felt so the same.. Well at some point it's normal to hear the same thing, but at the same time, it's still weird. 

"I'm actually impressed you pulled out all those information and found the right underground laboratory that fast," Gintoki said. Namaye knew that tone. "Even for just a short time of your stay here, you managed to get such connection. You do work with the midget after all, don't you?"

Namaye smirked at that. To her, it felt like she's been caught playing with a kid she was told not to play with. "You caught me in that raid. Okita-san already knew too. That's why they keep a tight eye on me."

"Do you know how dangerous that guy is? I can't believe Hijikata's alternate self works with him of all people," Gintoki said on a serious note, then suddenly, it clicked. "You trust him."

"He won't hurt me, yes,"

"So you met him back in your Edo?" Gintoki said. It's more like a statement than a question. 

"Yes," Namaye can't find anything else to reply on that. 

"You admit that you met him and you won't admit that you met me?" All the words Namaye had died in her throat. She then swallowed the stuck dead words and avoided eye contact again. She knew it. Hijikata caught her on that one.  
"What happened in your Edo?"

"You don't have to know," Namaye said with a cracking voice as she stood up to leave. Maybe she should've just left in the first place. 

"Oi!"

She made it out and she hurriedly went downstairs. She knew Hijikata and Sougo were down in the Snack Smile so she made sure that they won't notice she left. She needed that adrenaline off her system. Just like the usual exercise to get the calories of mayonnaise of her system, she ran. This habit granted her a fine pair of legs and agility after all. 

The weather just had to agree with her on this one. Rain started to pour hard when she's on her 4th round across Edo. She finally slowed down her pace and went into a stop and caught her breath. Amidst the rain, she walked aimlessly in the road. Drenched and hollow, she looked up to the ash sky. 

"Get it together," she mumbled to herself. "You can't falter now."

.  
.  
.  
.

 

"You haven't been in a job, perm head," Hijikata said. 

They're just stuck under the kotatsu. The cold season is making the lazy yorozuya boss even lazier than he already is. It's been almost two weeks since Namaye's last visit and Sougo said she was under a tight surveillance. Hijikata highly doubts that. Yamazaki lost her four times already and that just proves that the girl is actually more skilled than she looks. 

"Perm head janai, Gintoki da. And it's fine, Hijikata-kun. People tend to be very lazy by this time of the year so there probably won't be requests to—" Gintoki's excuse was immediately cut short when the telephone rang. "Patsuan, get it."

"Get it, Kagura-chan. You're closer," Shinpachi said lethargically. 

"Why would I get it aru? Gin-chan told you to get it!" Kagura refused and clutched her pink stuffed pig plush. 

"You're a lot closer to it, Kagura-chan. Come on,"Apparently, no one wants to move.

"No way I'm moving aru! Get it, Gin-chan!" 

"Oi, what's wrong with the two of you? Don't you have a hand? Go get it."

"You have hands too, Gin-san!"

"Nothing can make me move out of here! That call be damned!" the trio was too lazy and idiotic to actually receive a potential job so Hijikata sighed.

"Fine, I'll get it." Hijikata was about to get up then Gintoki pulled his sleeve down to make him stay on his spot and the lazy perm head got up instead. Gintoki didn't say a word and Hijikata was dumbfounded of what just happened. Wasn't this idiot so keen on staying under the kotatsu just a second ago? 

On the other hand, Gintoki knew that it's been harder and harder for Hijikata to move recently. Getting up was no longer as easy as it normally would. Namaye's warnings made him more sensitive and observant to Hijikata as well. Since then, he can notice the slight discomfort Hijikata is making. He's also aware that Hijikata couldn't sleep at night because of the baby. Knowing that the prideful mayora hates to rely on anyone else, he takes the initiative to do things for him without saying a word or else Hijikata might feel uncomfortable. 

"Yes, this is the yorozuya Gin-chan." Gintoki said, answering the phone. He talked in the phone for a while and sure enough, it was indeed a job. Apparently, people are indeed too lazy to go out and deliver stuff so they asked the yorozuya to do it for them instead. 

"Kagura, Patsuan, you go and deliver the stuff," Gintoki said, and as expected, the two complained. 

"It's too cold outside, Gin-san!"

"You just want to stay and warm up in cuddles with the Mayora while we freeze out there in the cold aru!" Kagura protested. 

"Ha?! I want no such thing!" Gintoki said in defense with an awful blush. "Come on, you kids know that we're not supposed to leave this idiot alone!"

"Who're you calling idiot?! I'm perfectly fine on my own," Hijikata retorted. 

"Oh yeah? Well the last time I left you with the dog, you ran away and prior to that incident, you got kidnapped twice. That's not very convincing argument, Hijikata-kun." Gintoki said, earning a glare/pout from the said Hijikata-kun. 

"Just go have fun, Danna. I'll keep Hijikata-san occupied," Sougo suddenly came in without warning. In normal circumstances, this should be called trespassing, but it happens too often for them to care. 

"Okita-san, is there a problem, or are you just paying a visit?" Shinpachi asked. 

"Nothing really. I got bored and I was thinking of annoying you guys, but since you're leaving, I think Hijikata-san will have to do," Sougo replied and kicked Kagura out of the kotatsu then replace her spot. "Ah, that's better. It was cold outside, Hijikata-san."

"Hey! Get out of my spot, stupid jerk!" Kagura protested but then, Shinpachi grabbed her. 

"That's enough for now, Kagura-chan," Shinpachi said, dragging the yato kid away. "We'll leave Hijikata-san to you, Okita-san. Please don't leave him alone until we get back."

"Iterashai~" Sougo lazily responded while eating the tangerine left on the table. 

"Sougo! That's not yours!" Hijikata scolded, but to no avail. 

"Hijikata," Gintoki called out before he can follow out to the doorway and it effectively took Hijikata's attention away from Sougo. They just stared at each other since Hijikata was wondering what the perm head wanted and suddenly, it clicked. The idiot wants him to call his name. This childish idiot. 

"Yeah, I'll be here, Gintoki." Hijikata glared and to his embarrassment, Gintoki actually looked pretty satisfied with that and flashed a smile before leaving. 

Sougo stared at the exchange and as soon as the trio was out, the sadist found that as an opportunity to press on with his despicable face. "Oh~ what was that just now, Hijikata-san? You going at it well with Danna?"

"What 'going at it well' are you talking about?" Hijikata glared. 

"Oh you know. Your developing relationshit," Sougo said in nonchalance. 

"It's shitty alright," Hijikata said and he observed as how Sougo is making himself comfortable under the kotatsu. The young sadist then found a familiar pig plush and took it. "Oi, don't do anything about that. China likes that plush." Hijikata said, though he knows that saying so would only encourage the sadistic bastard to do something mischievous. 

"Really? She likes this?" To Hijikata's surprise, Sougo just smiled and placed it underneath his head to use it as a pillow. Okay, that's something. "Don't drool on it," Hijikata still felt the need to say a warning. 

"It already smells like drool," Sougo justified. 

"Exactly. She'll know if it isn't her drool," Hijikata said. 

"A drool is a drool." 

 

Sougo was already making himself comfortable until there was a knock in the door. 

"Get it Sougo," Hijikata said. He honestly doesn't want to move right now. 

"Get it Hijikata, you dumbass," well, neither does the sadist who already felt comfortable. 

"Get it Sougo, you asshole,"

"Get it, idiot Hijikata," the knock against the door began to get louder. 

"Get it, bastard Sougo"

"Get it, idiot Sougo— oh. My bad. I meant idiot Hijikata," Sougo said, realizing his tongue slipped. 

"Haha! You lost! Now get the damn door!" Hijikata said, claiming his victory. 

"I'll count to three," a familiar gruff voice said behind the door and the two officers exchanged glances. They both knew they're screwed. Without a doubt, they recognize that voice and line anywhere. "One.." and sure enough, there was indeed the expected gunshot. 

"Where did two and three go?!" Hijikata demanded. He still said up to three after all.

The man in question made himself welcome. Matsudaira Katakuriko stepped inside and entered the household with the same signature look and tobacco on his hand. 

"Totsan!"

"Toshii, so this is why you've been hiding from me," the old man's raspy voice came. 

"No smoking allowed, totsan," Sougo said as he swiftly took the tobacco out of the old man's hand and crushed it on an ashtray that no one has an idea where he got it from. 

"It's not like I can help it," Hijikata sighed as Matsudaira Katakuriko sat on the opposite side of the kotatsu. 

"True, true. You've done a good job hiding your condition so far, but if the baby will be born and will be exposed to the public, people will wonder."

"Are you suggesting that I abandon the kid?" Hijikata's tone when as sharp as his narrowed eyes like a beast ready to attack his prey. 

"Who said such cruel thing?! Why would you have to do such awful thing, Toshi?" it's a voice of genuine anger. He has a kid too after all. Good. Hijikata won't have that.

"Why are you here then?"

"Unlike that unpopular gorilla, you're very popular among women. That's the only thing positively popular about you. People been calling you a demon, y'know. We can't have that reputation going down,"

"I don't really care about that," Hijikata said with a blank face. 

"What are you talking about? This is political reputation we're talking about to keep you on your position, Toshi. You should care."

"I've done far more embarrassing things!" true. He has done too much embarrassing things from when "Toshi" took over his body. 

"Petty embarrassing things. If people found out you had a child without a mother, people will think of things. That cannot die down with just another rumor. It will just get worse. The Shinsengumi's reputation is already bad as it is. Do you want to worsen it?"

Hijikata sighed at that. The cons of being a government official. You can't just say no. "What do you have it mind then?"

"You'll have to get married of course. We just need a woman figure of a high status to cover up for you and problem solved."

"Eh?" ...what? Married? Him?! Even Sougo was surprised. Crap. What is he supposed to do now? 

"I don't want to marry just anyone, totsan!"

"Really? Why? Are you already dating someone?" the old man raised a brow at him. 

"... No but—"

"Then it's fine. You don't have to really love her. Just treat her right and we won't have a problem. Do it for your kid and the Shinsengumi's sake, yeah?"

If he's gonna put it like that, Hijikata won't be able to say no. It's his top priorities at stake. His kid having a decent and normal family and the Shinsengumi. He can't really do anything, can he? If it's this guy, he actually don't know. He even made Kondo marry an actual gorilla. He can only hope it wouldn't be another gorilla. Please don't let it be another gorilla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking of putting the last part in the next chapter again since it exceeded my 5k words maximum mark again, but hey. You guys deserve to have it now instead.


	18. How Much is Matched to Unmatch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matchmaking gone wrong and... Too wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, but I shouldn't be sorry, though I kinda feel sorry. Uh... Yeah.

Gintoki was a man on a mission. He's determined to see it through, but this is getting more chaotic than he anticipated. It's impossible to achieve such goal if you asked for help with all the wrong people. 

"Ayane-san, I hope you like music, 'coz I prepared something for you," Madao said. 

"Really? I wanna hear it then!"

"I call this song, cardboard" Madao said as he strum his guitar. He was about to hit the first line when Katsura decided to trample him down. 

"You call that singing? That's not even a real song," it's now Katsura's turn to drop the beat with that katsurap he had.  
_"Yaru nara ima shika ne~ ZURA_  
Yaru nara ima shika ne~ ZURA  
*Joi ga Joy  
Joy ga Joi  
Hai, sore ga fukusho."

"So you like pets too?" Prince Hata asked, disregarding Katsura's performance altogether. Who invited this moron here?

"Uh... No, not really. I said I like kids though," Ayane said awkwardly. 

"Oh, so you do like pets!" Hata said, amused even. 

"Eh? Uh, kids aren't pets Hata-san."

"See? I brought one! You're going to love him. He's so cute and adorable —" He suddenly stopped talking after a giant amanto fly-like creature sucked his face with his straw like mouth. What's so cute and adorable about this one?! The woman evidently cringed at the sight and thankfully, the giant insect flew away while dragging the idiotic prince. 

"Where are the rest of the food?" that short homeless old man on his loincloth asked while munching a roasted chicken's leg. Why is that beggar here as well?! 

"Joi ga joy! Joi ga joi!" Seriously, is he not done singing yet? 

This is a disaster. Seriously, this is such a big mistake. This feels like a Deja Vu of that gukkon they organized to bring out Kyubei's feminine side. Only then, Gintoki remembered that he's indeed surrounded by losers. He really regrets arranging this damn... thing.  
Why are they in such situation again? Oh that's right. It's because of what he found under the kotatsu this morning.  
.  
.

 

_  
Earlier that morning..._

_Gintoki was tired. He came home around 10 in the morning after going out to get some groceries and sure enough, he found Hijikata asleep in the room while Sougo was making himself at home in the kotatsu while lazily scanning the channels in the TV. Why is this idiot here? He thought he left Shinpachi and Kagura at home to look after Hijikata._

_"Where are the brats and why are you here instead?" Gintoki asked, making himself comfortable in the kotatsu as well after putting the grocery away in the kitchen._

_"Hijikata-san gave them money to buy whatever they want when I came here with totsan since they shouldn't be here while we discuss something with that old man Matsuraida."_

_"Oh, so that guy was here?" Gintoki asked. He was trying to make himself comfortable but his foot somehow nudged something under the kotatsu, so he ducked his head under to check it out. "So you guys got caught. What's so important that the kids can't hear about?"_

_"We don't exactly care, but it was the old man's instructions. Anyway, he's just here to talk about—" Sougo then paused when he glanced over Gintoki after pulling something from underneath the kotatsu and held it up with a questioning stare. "...that,"_

_Gintoki gave him a questioning stare then checked it out. It's a damn omiai photo!_

_"Oh, I didn't know you're politically up for this stuff, Okita-kun."_

_"If that's for me, we wouldn't have come here, Danna," Sougo replied nonchalantly. "I'm not in Kondo-san's age to be politically obliged to marry."_

_"Well, neither is Hijikata—" Gintoki abruptly stopped as realization kicked in even without Sougo's explanation. "..."_

_"Totsan was worried about Hijikata-san's reputation once the baby is out. He wants the custody after all," Sougo explained._

_Gintoki hummed in response with the same dead fish eyes scanning the woman in the picture. She looks like she's around her mid twenties or early twenties and she looks gorgeous in that kimono. She has a calm and soothing smile with a gentle facial feature, but as they say, don't judge the book by it's cover. This just a picture anyway. It's superficial. This woman could be a witch or some evil step mother at some sort._

_"Isn't she just perfectly handpicked, Danna? She looks just as gentle as my sister." Sougo mused. "Just Hijikata-san's type then. He wouldn't back down on this one."_

_"Yeah, that lucky jerk. I want women with big breasts too." Gintoki responded._

_"I wasn't talking about her tits, Danna," Sougo said with a blank face. "Anyway, I was with them when totsan gave this, so I heard she's a daughter of a high bakufu official and their family owns various businesses."_

_"Wow, now isn't that a jackpot? Does she know about Hijikata's condition?"_

_"She doesn't, but as I've heard, she has this big crush on Hijikata-san and I don't know why. Totsan also said that you guys don't have to worry if she mistreated Assassin Number 14." Sougo added. "She's good with kids since she couldn't have one due to medical conditions so she chose to be a pediatrician to interact with them as if they're her own,"_

_"Wow," Gintoki said in a monotone. Gintoki's face was unreadable, but his silence spoke a lot for Sougo. Gintoki was thinking things over. Over thinking perhaps._

_"Don't give such depressing face, Danna. You're not out of luck, you know. They were not to meet before Hijikata-san gave birth. She was not informed that Hijikata-san was actually the mommy. All she knew is that, Hijikata-san is expecting a baby and the mother can't be exposed for publicity's sake. That girl happily agreed wholeheartedly."_

_"Well, isn't that just so kind of her? How obsessed is he with Hijikata?"_

_"Not as obsessed as Kondo-san is with that Shimura girl or your ninja stalker, but she's awfully devoted right away." Sougo said._

_Where is this devotion coming from? Just a big crush, really? What if someone else will come and she'd realize she's not really in love and cheat on Hijikata? Number 15 would be neglected! Mistreated even! They deserve better! Hijikata deserves better! He bets she'd fall head over heels over another ikemen just because of some petty stuff. That's right! Just like how Kuriko fell out love with her pants pooping boyfriend after meeting him as Mayora 13. Oh. That gives him an idea. Ohhhh_

_"Danna? Is being heartbroken that bad that you lost your sanity? You're smiling really weird right now."  
_

 

.  
.  
.

 

Oh right. That happened. That's why he ended up here in this host club with a bunch of idiots trying to seduce this Ayane Yukina. No one is actually succeeding! Well... How does he expect this bunch of idiots to at least level Hijikata's appeal. Wait— why was he even talking about Hijikata's appeal? What the heck? Let's talk about his uhh... Popularity among women. Yeah. That's better. When is Kyushiro gonna finish taking that huge dump in his life?! He's missing all the action! 

"You should visit my sweet home sometime," the homeless old man said. Well yeah, your cart you call a sweet home alright. Why were you here again? 

"Maybe some other time. It was really fun being here, guys. It's a good idea to unwind a bit. After all, I'm looking forward to my engagement soon." Ayane giggled. 

"Engagement?" Madao mused. 

"Yeah. I'm about to marry the man I've looked up to for quite sometime now." She replied, and that's when it all started. No one was then trying another lame attempt flirting anymore. It suddenly turned into a gossip. 

"Wow, congratulations, Ayane-san." Honjou Kyushiro, Kabukicho's no.1 host finally made an entrance. Talk about late! He's supposed to be the ace here! If he didn't have to take such a huge shit that long, Gintoki didn't have to contact these idiots instead! 

"Why do you even like this guy?" Gintoki had to ask. "Do you even know him that well? Well— it's you know. You never know if that guy actually has smelly feet or weird food preference like inappropriate use of sandwich spread in every food he gets inside his mouth,"

Ayane chuckled at that. "True, I've never talked to him before, but... I've been really admiring him from afar for quite a time now. I feel honored, and incredibly happy."

"Like some idol in the TV? You're gonna get engaged to an actor, Ayane-san??" Hasegawa mused, quite excited. 

"No, no, it's not like that at all," another chuckle. "Though he's really handsome just like an idol."

"Woah, I'd love to recruit someone like that in my host club," Honjou Kyushiro said. 

_"You already dragged him to work here once, idiot. That ended up with a lame imitation of Vegeta just because the costumer said she liked Vegeta! What the hell, man? You're supposed to seduce her, not get her into talking more about her crush!_

"I doubt he'd accept it. His job is already keeping him busy," Ayane smiled.

She really likes talking about him huh. Wait, what's happening right here? This group is now bonding over crushes and gossiping like high school girls in a slumber party! Gintoki wondered how they would've reacted if they knew she's just talking about Hijikata.

"A workaholic guy like that will neglect you over his work, you know. You deserve someone better than that. Someone who can put you first before his work." Gintoki advised. 

"I suppose, but I'm actually fine with that," she replied. 

_"Girl, you're being delusional and naive! You're not fine with that! No sane woman is gonna be fine with that unless— ooh. Unless she just wanted to make use of Hijikata and his body, money, power, and position in the Shinsengumi to slip in with all her anomalies and illegal shenanigans!"_ He knew it! This girl is up to no good at all. He mentally clapped his hands for himself on that. 

"Actually... It's his job that caused the two of us to meet. I'm pretty sure he doesn't remember, but... He saved my life." she smiled genuinely with nostalgia evident in her distant eyes. "He saved so many lives that day, but in the end, despite all of his efforts, he was still blamed for huge damages in private and public properties. People can really be so petty and narrow minded. They tend to badmouth him just because of his reputation. That guy... is actually a gentleman, you know."

"..........oh." Gintoki fell silent while everyone else in the booth awed like idiots watching a sweet drama series. Damn. She's actually genuine. His heart sank in the most uncomfortable way he imagined. 

The chatter grew distant in his ears as he began to question what he's even doing. He's ruining Hijikata's ticket to a normal life and a good wife. As much as he kept on denying it, this woman is actually genuine about her feelings towards Hijikata. Crap. He felt like had to leave, so he did. Maybe a fresh air and a walk back home would clear up his mind. 

"It's late. I should go," He mumbled. No one really noticed him leave since everyone was so engrossed with the gossip except for Katsura. He then stood up as unnoticed as Gintoki and followed the perm head outside. 

"Gintoki," Katsura called out. Gintoki then stopped walking and waited for him. He didn't exactly tell Zura, but the joi rebel pretty much got the big idea. "What was that about? Hijikata is going to marry that woman?"

"Wow, I take back what I said that time when we turned into cats. Your brain is actually not the smallest around here." Gintoki scoffed. 

"I may be not the brightest bulb in that room, but I get a clue when it's rubbed at my face. What do you think you're doing? Are you just going to hand over the baby like that?" Katsura argued. "We cannot let your kid grow into another lapdog, Gintoki! Uncle Katsura refuse!"

"You're not an uncle, quit it!"

"That's your kid too, idiot! You have a say in this!"

"I dunno, Zura. I don't want to give up anyone. You know that, but what if I'm keeping them away from a better future out there? Just look at me. My kid is not gonna inherit anything from me but my debts and probably this perm," Gintoki said then mumbled something to himself later. "Oh please God forbid. Not this perm. Hijikata will kill me." 

Katsura stared at him for a while as they walked in a slow pace together before he decided to speak up his mind. "Gintoki," Katsura began, and Gintoki responded with a hum. "You're starting to like Hijikata."

Gintoki stopped dead on his tracks. Wait, is he? Well... Fuck. 

"This isn't just about the kid now, is it? Hijikata is going to get married and here you are, inviting all the guys you can collect to seduce her away from Hijikata," Katsura continued. 

"Hmm... I wonder about that," Gintoki said, more like to himself, because he _does_ wonder. 

"Hijikata is a man of honor. Even without romantic feelings involved, marriage is marriage. He'd be committed until his last breath. Are you... going to be fine with that?" Katsura asked, not looking at him, so he won't feel more cornered than he already is, but it's not any easier. 

"I honestly don't think I'm gonna be cool about it," Gintoki finally said after a gap of silence. 

With all honesty, even before hearing this news, he's been worried of the day that Hijikata actually moves out after giving birth. Hijikata's absence was hard to bear the first time, and he doesn't think he can handle it better this time. He's been thinking that he'll cross the bridge when they get there, but now, he actually considered burning that damn bridge and keep Hijikata from crossing the other end instead. 

He even makes a big fuss over petty things about too much familiarity between Hijikata and Sougo that most people don't pay attention to. What more if it's actually with Hijikata's wife? Well, maybe he should just let it go. They'd make a good family and they may have a child of their own...  
..  
.  
DAMMIT!  
He can't do this! What's wrong with him? He's not like this! He's never like this towards anyone! What is Hijikata doing to his head?! He can't blame it to the baby anymore! It's far beyond what Number 15 can cover for him. What should he do? He doesn't want to be selfish but... How should he get on with it? Should he give it a try? Try? Try what? Would Hijikata even be interested? That idiot has been so pessimistic and dense as hell towards Gintoki's... subtle advances? Wait, was there even any? Did he even try to flirt with Hijikata? 

"Zura..."

"What?"

"You think Hijikata can feel the same?" Gintoki finally asked. "About me, I mean."

.  
.  
.

It was late when Gintoki got home. Most lights were out and he then found Yamazaki dozing off on the kotatsu. Hijikata was still very much awake, and that's not really new these passed few days. He's growing more and more uncomfortable, so it's hard to sleep. 

Kagura was sleeping over at the Shimuras so Yamazaki was left with Hijikata. The poor Shinsengumi personnel stirred awake as Hijikata said he's free to go, given that the perm head was finally home. With that, Yamazaki left while still a bit sluggish and sleepy. 

 

"Where on Earth were you?" Hijikata questioned. "It's late."

"Somewhere out there. My bad. I made you dinner in advance, so I thought you should be fine. Jimmy was here too after all," Gintoki said, checking the fridge for leftovers. 

"What's wrong, really?" Hijikata asked, feeling that something is really not right with Gintoki's atmosphere. 

Gintoki exhaled sharply then faced Hijikata as he pulled out the omiai photo from inside his kimono. Hijikata was shocked of course. "Were you even trying to tell me?"

"I was going to tell you." 

"When? When you're with your bride in the altar and saying, "I do"?" Gintoki spat bitterly. 

"Look, I wanted to tell you soon enough, but I didn't really know how to say it and... I knew you'd be a jerk if I break it to you the wrong way, so I waited for—"

"So now, _I'm_ the jerk?"

"What I'm saying is—"

"Do you even know what I've been thinking these past few weeks? A few more days and you'd leave. A few more days I wouldn't have an excuse to keep you here. A few more days and I won't be a able to stay by your side anymore."

Hijikata was out of words for a sec then he suddenly found his composure back. "Don't give me different ideas. Don't start talking like you actually care about me. You just want your kid and I just have to come as a package."

"Why do you always have to take it like that?!"

"You know what? Just shut up. I don't care anymore," Hijikata hissed, looking for a way out of this conversation as well with a clenched fist. 

"Ah, that's right ...You only care about the kid and your precious Shinsengumi. Where do I even put myself? Oh, I see. I'm just the annoying guy you owe so much, and unfortunately, I'm the father of that baby."

Hijikata can't let that statement stand. He turned to face Gintoki again instead. As much as he wanted to punch him back to his senses and tell him that he's so damn wrong, Hijikata can only say, "Gintoki, you know that it's not like that,"

"Really? Because it fucking feels just like that! Who am I to you, Hijikata?" there, he said it. He's not even sure if he wants to hear the answer. A part of him was actually shit scared to hear how Hijikata would answer that. 

Hijikata was taken aback by the sudden question. He was utterly speechless and at a loss of what to say. "I..."

Fuck it. Gintoki doesn't want to hear the rejection right now after all. "You know what, I get it. It's just so unfair because here I am starting to feel—" Gintoki took a sharp breath in then turned around, thinking of a way out of this situation. "I'm starting to feel shit scared by just the thought of you ending up with— UUUGH, SHIT."

Why is he this angry? Okay, Hijikata actually thinks he gets it all. "I know you feel mad about the possibility that you might be stripped off your rights on the kid. That's why I thought of—"

"Why does everything always have to do with the kid?!" Gintoki raised his voice now. As much as possible, he didn't want to, but frustration is a bitch. He knew he's been using Number 15 as an excuse to how he's being all weird around Hijikata, but he gets it now. He freaking gets it. It's not the baby! 

"Because it fucking does, you jerk! You wouldn't say stuff like that about me if I didn't carry your kid. Why? If someone else had your child, would you still talk like that about me?" Hijikata asked.

Gintoki was baffled for a couple of heartbeats and it was Hijikata's cue to get the hell out of that situation with a bitter scoff. "I thought so," he said while turning to get in the room. Expected or not, it still hurt.

"Hijikata," 

"Shut the fuck up," Hijikata said then slammed the door shut. 

 

Great. He's sleeping under the kotatsu then. 

..  
.  
.

It's already late. Gintoki couldn't sleep. He really couldn't. Isn't Hijikata cold? Did he manage to sleep by now? Wait, they're supposed to be fighting. Ignore ignore ignore. He groaned and tried another position. He has the kotatsu all for himself after all. 

"Ghh..."

What was that? Gintoki listened closely for a while but heard nothing, so he decided to go back to trying to sleep, but then, there it was again, but this time, he heard a loud bang of a fallen object from the room. 

 

"Gintoki..." Hijikata panted. Gintoki didn't immediately recognize it, but when it registered, he completely forgot that they're supposed to be fighting. He bumped his head against the table, but he didn't put it any mind. Something is wrong. So damn wrong. 

"Oi!" Gintoki dashed to the room and he found Hijikata barely on his feet and relying on the support of the drawers. 

He hurriedly went over to Hijikata and never did he see Hijikata with such a pained expression. His bangs were wet with sweat and his eyes were squeezed shut. He gritted his teeth tight and he can barely keep his balance. 

"Hijikata?!" Gintoki took him in his arms to help him sit up. "Oi!"

"It—" Hijikata took a sharp breath in. "it fucking hurts," a stream of blood was then seen dripping down Hijikata's leg once it reached below what his kimono can cover. 

Damn it. 

Gintoki took his white kimono off and covered Hijikata before taking him downstairs. 

"Old hag! Tama!" Gintoki called out in the snack smile. 

"What happened?" Otose came with a scrunched up face hearing panic in Gintoki's voice. 

"I'm taking Hijikata to the hospital. He's— he's in so much pain I—"

"Calm the fuck down. Tama, get Hijikata. You get a ride, Gintoki," Otose commanded, still composed despite her worry. 

Gintoki knew his scooter is not a very ideal ride to the Hospital so he dashed to the road and forcibly stopped the first car that came to pass. He was so damn lucky there was one at this hour. Looks like they were just heading to the hotel district. Well, that explains a lot. Tough luck for them, they chose to take this road. 

"Hey! What do you think you're—" the driver complained, bit he immediately shut his mouth upon seeing Gintoki's face. 

"I'll say this just once," Gintoki said, with murder written on his face. "Get. Out," 

Feeling a threatening chill on his spine, the driver sat there frozen, so Gintoki forcibly tore him out his car and threw him somewhere on the sidewalk. The woman shrieked and went out of the car on her own before Gintoki can do the same with her. 

Gintoki immediately took Hijikata in his arms and put him in the passenger seat. He speed off to the hospital while frequently checking on Hijikata. The mayora is growing paler and paler in every passing minute and it's driving Gintoki insane. He doesn't have an idea what to do to make it better so instead, he reached out and grabbed Hijikata's hand to squeeze it reassuringly while his other hand stayed on the steering wheel. He didn't have to say anything. He knew the message was clear enough for both of them.

 

.  
.  
.  
.

 

Gintoki sat in the waiting room with an invisible dead weight on his shoulders. His head was held down and he cannot help but swim into the pessimistic view. There was blood. There was a damn blood and that's not what happens when people give birth, right? What the hell was that? It's still too early before Hijikata's due date and things like that happen, but there shouldn't be blood, should there? Why was there blood? Blood is just like cosmetics to a warrior like Hijikata, but to a pregnant Hijikata, Gintoki will have to disagree. He looked so damn pale and was barely conscious! 

Gintoki stood up and paced back and forth near the door of the emergency room. He can't hear Hijikata. He can't hear the baby. There wasn't anyone crying. What's happening in there?! 

What if— NO! That's not a good way of thinking right there, Gintoki. That's not like you. Not like you. But... what should he do? What _could_ he do? Hijikata and their baby is in there without a clue if they'd still make it and here he was, pacing back and forth in the hospital hall. He's never felt so useless before. He couldn't do anything to save them. 

He could lose them both or any of them at this point, but he can't do a damn thing! He couldn't protect any of them... If something happens to them... He can't... 

"Gin-chan!" 

Sure enough, it was the yorozuya kids along with the people in the Snack Smile. It didn't lift Gintoki's mood up, but having someone else in there felt better. The company sure helped somehow. Soon, the Shinsengumi people followed and Gintoki was sure that Sougo was judging him in each passing minute. He can't just sit there. He then released the air he didn't know he's been holding for who knows how long. He excused himself to buy himself a strawberry milk. 

When he got into the vending machine, he was about to purchase that strawberry milk when he suddenly thought of buying another for Hijikata out of habit. Oh right. How is he even to drink that? Great. 

"If you're not buying that strawberry milk, I'd like to get myself something to eat. One of us is starving," he heard a familiar voice, and he turned around, sure enough, he confirmed that it was Namaye. 

"What's up? Been researching here?" Gintoki guessed. That's the closest guess he could come up with. 

"Yeah. I can't really do anything much but investigate further. It's hard to just sit around and feel utterly useless when it matters." Namaye replied as she punched in her coin and chose something to eat. 

Gintoki glanced her way then he gave off that melancholic smile. "Saying that in such age, you sure had a tough life, kid,"

"I sure did," she scoffed. 

"I think I should head back there now. The doctor could be out at any minute," Gintoki then said. 

"Yeah, you should," Namaye nodded then she watched Gintoki go. Yeah, she definitely knows that look. She'd seen that look for more than she wants to remember. Not just on that man's face, but also in her own reflection.  
.  
.

_  
"....Time of death: 9:26 p.m."_

_She remembered uttering those words with a disheartened voice as she stepped back from the cadaver of the young man that she considered as a comrade and great friend._

_"Sora! Sora, please wake up!"_  
.........  
......  
"I feel so useless," she said, genuinely tired and emotionally drained. "I couldn't save anyone... I couldn't protect anyone." 

_"Really now? You're saying that to a bedridden samurai? If you're useless then at what degree of uselessness am I?"_

_"I took after you in that degree of uselessness,"_

_"No, you took after that idiot in the degree of overthinking and self loathing. Seriously, stop that,"_

_It got her thinking... How could have things gone if that person were here? "... Are we really that alike?"_

_"You've seen the pictures. Maybe your difference is that, you got your cooking skills from me and thankfully, you don't consider a plate full of mayonnaise as meal."_

_"Of course it's not a meal. A basic diet with mayonnaise should be with rice—"_

_"Hahaha!" the man on his deathbed looked too energetic with a feat of laughter. It's a pleasing sight but she can't help but pout, feeling offended._

_"What's so funny? I don't judge your sweet beans with rice that you call a meal!"_

_"I can't help it. You're just like that asshole." he said with an affectionate smile. He has no idea how that was breaking her heart._  
  
....  
...  
..  
.  
.

Dammit. 

_"Gintoki, we won't die. I promise that."_

Those words were the only strand of strength Gintoki has to cling onto. He can't take this prolonging anxiety. Hijikata better keep his promise. He better, or else Gintoki doesn't even have a clue what to do. 

_  
"...two of the others who chose to keep the baby died. One had a miscarriage and according to the papers I received from the hospital, only Hijikata-san and another female host has been holding it out just fine."_

_"It's important to keep an eye on him this third trimester. He's in pain more than it looks,"  
_

And here, we also have Namaye's additional warnings. Well isn't that just great? Very reassuring, Gintoki. 

 

The door finally opened, revealing Yamada-sensei and everyone was snapped back into attention. Gintoki sprang up from his seat and immediately went to talk to the doctor. 

"How are they?"

"I'd be frank with you, Sakata-san. Hijikata-san is not very stable as of the moment. The parasite has been demanding awful changes in this stage and it has been all thanks to his tough endurance that he's been holding up until now. Also, we need further observations to ensure that the baby is no longer in danger,"

"What? What happened to the baby?" Gintoki knew it was bad, but he wanted to know how bad was it. "The blood... Was it—"

"Hijikata-san had a unique case of placental abruption. It is a serious condition in which the placenta partially or completely separates from the uterus before your baby is born. In Hijikata-san's case, his parasite-made uterus." the doctor explained. "The condition can deprive your baby of oxygen and nutrients, and cause severe bleeding that can be dangerous to the both of them. A placental abruption also increases the risk that your baby will have growth problems, be born prematurely, or be stillborn." okay, that's a lot of information to take in. Everything sounded negative, what the hell? 

"That was a very close one though. The baby's heartbeat was faint and I can no longer call it healthy anymore when Hijikata-san came here. I would have to ask following questions. Has the baby's movements lessened?" the doctor replied. 

"Yeah... One day it was all energetic and kicking around, then one day it suddenly didn't feel like it anymore. We thought it was just being lazy like me." Gintoki replied. 

"You should've told me earlier about it. I'd like to know what happened before he felt extreme pain."

"Uh.. We kind of had and argument and he was upset..." Gintoki averted his gaze, regretting all of it especially when everyone is listening just at his back. 

"Was Hijikata-san hurt physically? Abdominal trauma or some sort?" Yamada asked, quite bluntly. Well, he's just doing his job. 

"I will never do that! You think I'm that severe case of a scum? We just yelled at each other then we walked out and shut himself in the room," Gintoki said, knowing everyone else is totally judging him so hard right now. It actually doesn't matter. He's already judging himself more than anyone else here by every passing minute Hijikata and the baby is not okay. 

"Did he go back to smoking or was exposed to second hand smoke?" the doctor continued to ask. 

"He's not that irresponsible. He'd been holding up pretty good, and about the second hand smoke, there's none that I've known of." Gintoki replied. He made sure that the people surrounding Hijikata knew the no smoking policy around the pregnant man. 

"Perhaps it's due to other causes though most cases go unexplained. Well, as long as the parasite is inside, it's going to be more difficult. Let's just say It's the stress then," Yamada said while jotting it down.  
"You and Hijikata-san almost had a stillborn child. It is when the baby died in the womb in the late stages of pregnancy before being born. It would be called miscarriage if it was earlier stage in his pregnancy. It would've been too late if he wasn't brought here as fast."

"Stillborn?" No matter how you listen to it with the word almost in the same sentence, it's still disheartening. 

"Yes, I thought he'd be more careful. I said he should avoid stress and stuff when I told him about it the first time."

"Wait, the first time? You mean this isn't the first time?" if Gintoki has been shit scared, now he's too damn terrified. So this already happened before?! 

"Yes, Sakata-san. I thought you were informed. Hijikata-san came here feeling an abdominal pain, high temperature, and dizziness the other month. He had a high risk of miscarriage that time, but thankfully, it was just a mild alert. I told him to be more careful and rest well. His pregnancy is hypersensitive after all. Their survival rate relies on how Hijikata-san's body adapts the changes. If his body gave out, it's all over for both him and the baby."

Gintoki didn't answer and turned around to see Yamazaki. The Shinsengumi spy immediately avoided his gaze and went suddenly fidgety. That's enough clue right there. Gintoki then stepped closer to him and grabbed his uniform. 

"What happened?" Gintoki asked. No, it wasn't a request. It was a crystal clear command. 

"Tha— that was— Fukucho told me to keep my mouth shut, Danna! Not even Okita-san nor the commander knew!" Yamazaki said in defense. 

"When was that? How did that happen?!"

"Actually... It was when we were on our way to move back in the headquarters after leaving your place, Danna. He suddenly felt so much pain while we're in the car. His temperature was high and he said he doesn't feel like having a fever but his head was a mess, so I brought him here. The doctor said it was a mild warning, and there was no blood involved so I did as I was told."

When Hijikata ran away? He almost had a miscarriage that time? While he was in a pachinko parlor and drinking out with Madao! Great! Now he actually fucked up so much worse than he thought he did! They almost lost the baby and Hijikata didn't say anything! Now that's why he's so keen on staying away from Gintoki. He's trying to avoid being more distressed. 

.  
.  
.

Gintoki remained sitting on the hospital chair in the waiting area as the others went to see Hijikata while he's still unconscious. Shinpachi then sat with him in silence, just to give him company. No one blamed Gintoki, but it's clear to everyone that he blamed himself for everything. It's unusual to see the uncaring and aloof samurai like this, so it worried Shinpachi a lot. 

"Maybe it is really best to let him go, Patsuan," Gintoki said. "I did that to him. I'm supposed to be protecting them but... I put their life in danger twice already. That can't continue."

"But, Gin-san!"

"Think of it this way, he'll be able to keep his job and reputation, plus my kid is gonna have a normal family set up. A female mother figure and a dad."

"You can't give up now!"

"Do I look like I deserve him, Patsuan? Do you think I deserve to have them?" Gintoki asked with blank eyes. He's tired, obviously giving up. Shinpachi is not gonna have any of this. He wouldn't tolerate this kind of Gintoki. He knows the perm head will really regret this later. 

"I think, number 15 deserves his real family and not a cover up normal family. I also think that Hijikata-san deserves to hear the truth from you. What do you really want, Gin-san? Don't you really want them for yourself?"

"Do they even want me? Does he even... No, never mind," Gintoki sighed and stood up to make his way out. Maybe he needs another box of strawberry milk or a parfait. He was about to go to the vending machine when someone caught his gaze. That woman looked awfully familiar. 

He stepped closer and craned his neck to have a better look through the people that surrounded her and sure enough, Gintoki confirmed that it's her. Ayane Yukina, Hijikata's sorta fiancee. What is she doing here? 

"What room is Hijikata Toshiro?" He heard him ask the nurse in the information desk and the moment she received the answer she needed, she went on her way to the room.  
He shouldn't care anymore. This was bound to happen anyway. He sighed and looked for a spare change in his kimono to get something in the damn vending machine. While busy looking for a spare coin, he heard a familiar voice. 

"You shouldn't be here, Ayane-san. Your father gave you strict instructions of not seeing Hijikata-san before the meeting." Gintoki whipped his head towards the speaker. Namaye? She knew that woman? 

"What? I just wanna know if he's fine, please."

"He's fine. If you're not convinced, you can see his doctor instead." Namaye said, unfazed. 

"My family owns this hospital. You don't tell me what to do here." Oh, this woman sure doesn't give up that easy. 

"And I am most certainly not a staff in this hospital as well, so I have zero obligation in listening to your demands," Namaye crossed her arms. "Look, it will only be a matter of weeks. You can see him by then. Hold your damn tits."

"How dare you talk to me like that?" Ayane Yukina said, completely offended. "My hospital is helping you on your research, Namaye-san."

"You don't get to talk to me like that either, princess. I can easily arrange someone else to be Hijikata-san's bride once I see that you don't actually qualify," Namaye said, effectively intimidating the girl. Wait, she can what?! 

"Fine..." with a defeated sigh, Ayane finally gave up and gave a last reluctant gaze to the hallway before leaving. 

Namaye had the same confidence until the girl backed off before going on her way in the hospital. Wait, what just happened? Are they freaking taking Hijikata and his kid as a puppy in an auction for adaption?? _"If she doesn't actually qualify?"_ What the fuck was that about? Namaye is just like Hijikata alright. Them and their matchmaking tendencies! What gives Namaye the right to choose who qualify then? How is she authorized to do that? What is going on? 

As Namaye walked past a certain corner, she didn't notice Sougo was the one idly loitering in the blind spot. The woman had sharp instincts, so Sougo was pretty sure she knew someone was there. She just didn't pay attention for her to realize that she has been observed. Gintoki went past him as well, and said, without glancing, "See if she actually had a contact with the old man Matsuraida, Okita-kun. It looks like someone has been trying to take away my parfait from me on purpose."

"Oh? So you're not giving him up now, Danna?" Sougo mused. 

"Being martyr is not really my style after all since I'm still an S at heart. Plus... I'm never the type to share my sweets." Gintoki smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *omiai is a Japanese traditional custom in which a woman and a man are introduced to each other to consider the possibility of marriage.   
> This turned into almost 8k words and i was like, "so much with my 5k word max mark" soooo I had to cut it. It still ended up with 6.4k though. Longest chapter so far lol. I hope yah enjoyed it anyway.


	19. Truth or Dare can be Dangerous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gin-san's How to Woo Hijikata Toshiro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who wants an early update? I had to update early or else I wouldn't be able to since I'm gonna have to travel again this week. Errors ahead

Again with this restraining feeling. Hijikata Toshiro couldn't move. His body was heavy and he couldn't lift his limbs. A wave of nausea went over his senses and when he did vomit, he suddenly noticed the missing bump that was supposed to still be present in his system. He panicked as he saw the ugly traces of blood on his hospital clothes instead.

What happened? He was fighting with Gintoki and...

"Don't move. We almost lost you," Yamada-sensei said, appearing in his field of vision. Hijikata wanted to yell and ask what happened, but with a suffocating bulge in his throat, he couldn't let out a sound. Only whimpers out of desperate struggle was out. He wriggled harder when Yamada retreated into darkness. Wait... Why dies it feel so damn familiar? What's going on?! 

"I'm so sorry, Hijikata-san. We did everything that we can." Hijikata heard Yamada say as the doctor emerged from the darkness while holding a tiny lifeless newborn on his hand. 

 

No..   
No

 

Wait. Not this again. 

 

NO

 

_"Gintoki, we won't die. I promise that."_

 

NO! He had enough of this shit! 

 

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!"

 

"Hijikata-san—"

 

"Stop fucking with me! This can't be real!"

 

"Hijikata-san!"

 

"Give him back!"

 

_"Shh, calm down now oi—"_

"I said, give me back my—" Hijikata stopped, feeling a sudden warmth enveloping him. 

.

.

 

_"It's okay... It's okay, Hijikata. Shh. You're fine,"_

That voice... Yorozuya?   
That somehow made him start to calm down and his heavy eyelids slowly lifted open. Someone was holding him firmly. He can feel a firm chest and loud banging of heartbeat against his ear and a hand soothing his head while pressing it against the familiar chest. The other arm was then wrapped securely around him from his back. What just happened? 

 

"It's alright, okay? You're fine," Yes, it's the perm head alright. 

_"Wait— the baby—!"_  
Sensing Hijikata tense again along with the return of the alarming beep in the EKG, Gintoki tightened his hold and said, "Number 15 is fine, see?" The yorozuya boss gently stroked his hand on the baby bump. "You're both fine, okay? Kondo-san was here earlier. I told him to call Yamada-sensei."

Hijikata released a breath he didn't know he was holding in. Actually, it seems that his breathing is still laboured. A dream again. _That_ dream again. Fuck. What the hell? It's decided. That's the worst nightmare of all the nightmares he's ever had! Ever! 

"It's okay. I need you to slowly inhale and exhale, nah?" Gintoki said and he just nodded in response. "Follow my breathing," Gintoki instructed. He then numbly followed. Ah, he can't deny this now. 

...

Hijikata already calmed down when the doctor came with Kondo. He was still kind of spooked and disoriented, but he felt better than how he was before waking up. The doctor explained things about his condition and he was informed that his pregnancy turned more sensitive at these times. After all the explanation, Hijikata then dared to inquire for confirmation. 

"Sensei, if something would go wrong and I messed up again... Could the baby— then it will cause the baby to die."

Everyone in the room exchanged glances and Gintoki took a sharp breath. 

"Well, it's a possibility, Hijikata-san, but please don't blame it on you. There's an equal probability of you costing your life as well. It doesn't always have to be your fault. The cause for this case is mostly unexplainable especially with the parasite and all. There are things no one can prevent even with extreme measures—" Yamada wasn't able to finish that after feeling Gintoki's sword poking at his back as a warning to keep his mouth shut. "Oh— well, that's all just a small probability though!" Yamada nervously laughed. "We'll still do our very best to keep everyone alive. After all, that's a doctor's job. You know? Saving lives? Haha. I should be going now. Feel free to call me whenever there's a problem."

The doctor then left the room, leaving the three adults inside. The doctor just made Hijikata more anxious, great. Gintoki groaned. The doctor shouldn't have come after all.

 

"Don't worry, Toshi. Number 14 is yours and Gin-san's genes. Of course, he's a tough and healthy one!" Kondo clutched Hijikata's shoulder reassuringly. Hijikata was thankful for that. It actually helped. "You haven't slept, right, Gin-san? You should go home for now and let yourself rest. We'll handle things from here."

"I've had a long rest keeping this couch warm with my ass, Kondo-san. I'm fine."

"Come on, I know you didn't sleep a wink," Kondo laughed lightheartedly then went on his way, "Just give yourself a nap, okay?"

"It's fine, really. I have to say something to Hijikata here, if you don't mind," Gintoki insisted.

"Oh. Okay, sure. Just be sure to rest after that, okay? I'll just give the others a call that Toshi is awake."

As soon as Kondo left the room, the awkward ambiance ruled over the area. Gintoki can't bring himself to look at Hijikata and the thought is mutual in Hijikata's side. However, as much as they find it hard, they have things to settle between them. 

 

"Gintoki, about the ma—" Hijikata started, but Gintoki immediately killed the topic. 

"We're not gonna talk about your betrothal right now. I know you that you were just forced into the idea, and I was a jerk for yelling at you and causing all of these. I'm sorry..." Gintoki fell silent for a while. He really didn't want to bring it up, fearing that they'll fall into another argument again. Stress is bad for Hijikata. Very bad. 

He's going to fix this mess once the baby is born. That's when they were agreed to have their marriage meeting after all. He can kill whoever arranged this marriage and crash in the party with a shit storm later. Reputation be all damned. Well, so much for that, they should talk about things that would matter right now.   
"Why didn't you tell me about the first time something like this happened?" Gintoki started. "I —"

"Don't beat yourself up to it," Hijikata sighed. "That was my fault. I couldn't keep a better check on my body and still stubbornly left despite feeling so unwell." Nononono. That's so not on you, idiot! 

"No, It's—" Catching that his tone was getting sharper, Gintoki stopped and pulled himself together. He can't raise his voice at Hijikata like that again. He took a deep breath then started all over. "I'm sorry. I was just... Tell me everything next time please,"

"You mean everything like...?" Hijikata furrowed his brows. 

"Like _'Oi, Gin-san. I'm gonna go get myself a bride, so sayonara,'_ Something like that,"

"And here I thought we're not gonna talk about it," Hijikata frowned. Gintoki just looked away and stared at the window as if something really interesting is going on outside in that plain azure sky. Hijikata sighed. Up until now, he still has no idea how to approach the matter.   
"I didn't wanna marry some random woman just to protect my status and the kid too, idiot. That would be unfair, but I don't really have a choice,"

"You actually do," Gintoki then glanced at him to meet Hijikata's confused gaze. "You can just marry me instead," Gintoki said with a blank face as if it's the most obvious answer to all their problems.

Hijikata deadpanned. "Are fucking kidding me in a conversation like this? You're unbelievable." Hijikata groaned. 

"What? You want me to kneel and beg? Fine," Gintoki shrugged then stood up to half kneel beside the hospital bed. "Please marry me, Hijikata-kun,"

"What the hell? Get up, idiot,"

"No good huh?" Gintoki rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He then stood up moved backwards. "Oh well, please mary me, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki said again with a dogeza. 

"Oi! This joke has gone too far! Get up, you dumbass!"

"Who says I'm joking? Why would I go so far doing a dogeza for a joke? Get a clue here, stupid." Gintoki said, looking up. 

Hijikata was about to retort about how idiotic he's doing, but then it suddenly clicked into his clockwork. Fuck. He didn't know what to say or how to answer that. This couldn't be Gintoki. That perm head would never. This is a dream. Oh, now that explains a lot! Maybe he's actually in a comma. All he has to do is wake the fuck up. Good job, brain. Now that's what he calls a plan. 

"Ok, that's enough time for dreamland. I should wake up now," Hijikata said then closed his eyes as he pinched his arm. Why is it not working? Hmm, maybe he should just make it more painful. 

"Uhh... Hijikata-kun? You know you just woke up from a nightmare, right?"

"Shut up, fake yorozuya. I'm trying to wake up here," Hijikata justified that waking up from a nightmare in a dream also happens, so this is just another. 

_"Did he finally lost it?"_ Gintoki thought. "Oi, Hijikata,"

"..."

"Hijikata-kun~~"

"..."

"Toshiro," Gintoki finally said.   
Hijikata snapped his eyes open and turned his head to the perm that possessively took his hand. Did he just call him what?   
"Do you want me to kiss you to confirm that you're awake, stupid Sleeping Beauty?"

It alarmed Hijikata in so many levels. A series of alarms ringed in his system and if only he could run, he could've done that by now. So the damn Yorozuya has been freaking serious all this time?! The EKG gave another alert and this time, Gintoki was not really worried. Instead, he gave a smug look. That's a nice fast beep right there. 

 

"I've thought about what you said." Hijikata remained silent and Gintoki took it as a cue to keep on talking. "If ever someone else carried my baby, and you still ended up with someone else... I don't think I can take losing you well or at least better than how I'm taking it right now. It would have still fucking hurt as bad," Gintoki then met his eyes. "That's why, I've made up my mind..."

"Ha?" Hijikata said, completely dumbfounded. 

"I'm not giving you to anyone," Gintoki said with an unappealing face thanks to his nose pricking habit. 

"Eh? Do I look like your snot that you kindly donate to people who clearly don't want them by wiping it—"

"Before you misinterpret that again further, let me clarify. I'm not giving **you,** Hijikata Toshiro, to anyone. With or without number 15, I can't let anyone else have you. If you would please give me a chance, please reject that marriage arrangement for fuck's sake,"

So much for not talking about it. He needs to know now, or else Hijikata would end up meeting that Ayane Yukina then fall for her, since she looks so much like his type, and everything will be too late. No, not on his watch. 

"Are you seriously asking now?" Hijikata exclaimed with a threatening blush taking over his face. 

"If you're talking about the marriage proposal, that can wait. We can take this slow and easy if you want, but I'm not taking back that proposal. I'm that serious. For now, I'm all I'm asking you is a chance."

Hijikata looked conflicted. Really conflicted, and Gintoki is thankful that he's not the one with an EKG because Hijikata doesn't have to know how fast and loud his heart is beating. 

"Nothing is really final yet since we haven't met for a formal arrangement, so..." Hijikata said, avoiding Gintoki's gaze. It's now his turn to stare at the interesting clear sky out the window. "...I guess if that's the case then it's fine."

"Really?" Well, he wasn't exactly expecting anything, but this turned out a lot better. Why would Hijikata give him a chance? Oh well, because he's the baby's daddy, or he felt guilty because of what Gintoki said in the fight? Well, even if it's out of pity, he's gonna take his chances. You can say he's that desperate. He wouldn't care, I swear. 

"I just said it." Hijikata said, still with not enough courage to meet Gintoki's eyes. 

"Though she's definitely your type and she has big boobs too?" Gintoki scrunched up his face. He doesn't wanna sound really insecure and pathetic right now, but to hell with that! Oh, that's right. Hijikata is an idiot. He wouldn't know that he's actually really insecure until Gintoki shouts it at his face or else wrote it on a damn billboard. 

"What the—? Look, you asshole, despite everything totsan said, I still haven't met her and—" See? Hijikata merely thinks he's being a dick. 

"Well, I met her." Gintoki deadpanned. "She really has hots for you though she's not insane enough to qualify as a stalker, and I think her boobs are genuine." Gintoki was about to say her feelings are genuine, but he wouldn't want Hijikata to feel guilty. No double guilt tripping today. His chance out of guilt can be outweighed, so no no. 

"Ha?? Stop talking about her boobs! What the hell?! How the hell did you meet her? Why the hell did you meet her?"

"To confirm her credibility as a wife to you, 'coz Okita-kun said he's definitely your type."

"You guys are gossiping about my type behind my back?!" that's not really the issue here, is it? 

"Well, you're not gonna meet until you give birth so I've got a few days to seduce you before she can." Gintoki declared with his usual dead fish eyes. 

"What the fuck??" Hijikata's EKG spiked up matching his flustered face. "Don't you have shame left in your body?"

"I can't make use of that shame once you're stolen away from me, so I'll take it off my body for now," Gintoki replied nonchalantly, making Hijikata feel twice the embarrassment he should be feeling. 

"Didn't you consider that I'll get crept out because of that??"

"Your honest EKG and darkening blush says that it's actually working, so nope,"

"I can't believe you!"

Gintoki gave a smug look of victory on that one. It's always fun teasing this Mayora. Well, this can actually work out well for him. 

.  
.  
.

 

Hijikata had to stay confined in the hospital so that they can regulate the baby's health as well as Hijikata's. He's advised for a bed rest and he didn't have that much to do because of that. The withdrawal from cigarette is killing him, so he's been antsy and pouring it all on either the yorozuya, who insisted to stay in the hospital even if it's beyond visiting hours, or Yamazaki, who was often asked for updates about what's going on, and Tetsu, who volunteered to watch over him.

"Any plans for Christmas, Hijikata-kun?" Gintoki asked, and Hijikata realized that he almost forgot that it's tomorrow.

"Stay here, obviously. I'm gonna spend it alone since Christmas is beyond visiting hours."

"You know there can always be an exception. It's Christmas, vice commander-san," Gintoki said. "Plus, it's not like I don't already sneak in here even if it's no longer visiting hours."

"Seriously, stop that. You've been caught twice already."

"It's not like they can actually stop me. The fact that I can sneak in here is a proof of their poor security facility. How do you expect me to trust this establishment of looking out for you and Number 15?" Gintoki said. Another damn point. 

"Still, my point stands. I can't do much 'coz I'd be staying here. Well, Christmas isn't something really special though"

"That sounds so bitter coming from you. How does the vice-commander of the Shinsengumi spend Christmas? You're so popular among ladies. You can just pick someone up and do the thing."

"I'm not like you, asshole!" Hijikata thinking that the yorozuya is being a usual dick means Gintoki is safe from being found out that he's actually sorta— uh, kinda tinny tiny bit jealous.   
"It's nothing that special. We normally hold a celebration with the entire Shinsengumi and drink out, then Kondo-san will end up stripping and put the Shinsengumi's name is a deeper shame. Ahhh that's why I prefer to drink alone."

"You can't drink this year." Gintoki pointed out. 

"Exactly. That's the point. That's basically why I'd rather just stay here." 

"Well... There's more to Christmas than drinking, you know. But if you really prefer drinking, we can drink something else. It doesn't always have to be alcohol," Gintoki smirked. 

Hijikata seemed like he didn't get the subliminal message though. Instead, he replied nonchalantly, "Drink what? My medicine? Water? Juice? Strawberry milk? You sure you'd toast on that for Christmas? Don't be an idiot. You don't have to keep me company here. Go spend it with your kids. I'm sure they're looking forward to it."

"You— I'm trying to ask you on a date you little fucker!" Gintoki spurted out in frustration. A dense Hijikata can be handy at times, but it's still frustrating most of the time.

It took Hijikata an entire minute and twelve painful seconds before he broke out of his stunned demeanor. "H—ha???" oh, and there goes the satisfying blush. 

"You heard me. I want to spend Christmas with you, thus, I'm asking you on a freaking date," Gintoki replied with his dead fish eyes. "You gonna say yes or what?"

"C—can you not say it that bluntly?" Hijikata said, trying to cover up the worsening heat on his face. 

"Well, I tried, but someone is so damn dense to pick it up." 

"Shut up!" Hijikata exclaimed, so Gintoki did and just stared at Hijikata with a blank face. Hijikata then realized that he's waiting for his answer. "Uh... Do want you want, idiot." Hijikata avoided his gaze, totally aware of the blush threatening to cover his entire skin. 

Gintoki smiled at that. It's a date then. 

 

.  
.  
.

 

It's 11 p.m. in the night before Christmas and as much as Hijikata wanted to deny it and think that he just can't sleep, he's actually waiting for the yorozuya. The idiot asked him into this after all. Where was that jerk anyway? Tetsunosuke has been keeping on watch devotedly as always and refused to leave even though Hijikata told him to enjoy the evening. 

"You don't understand, Fukucho. It's during this time of the year when people with ill intentions attack because people tend to lower their guards," Tetsu justified. 

"I told you, nothing is gonna happen. No one is going to come by the window and assassinate—"

"WAAAAAAH!" Tetsu suddenly wailed upon seeing a figure on Hijikata's window. "S—stand back, fukucho! I'll protect you!"

Hijikata examined the silhouette and the know on the window, and sure enough, it's just the yorozuya. 

"Calm down, Tetsu. It's just the yorozuya. Open the window and let him in." Hijikata instructed. 

"Eh?"

"Just get on with it."

Tetsu then did as he was told. He opened the window and Gintoki came in with both hands busy carrying stuff. Hijikata wondered how he was even able to climb up there. It's the 7th floor. Gintoki placed the items down on the table and fixed himself before telling Tetsu to go ahead and leave. The C boy was a bit reluctant at first, but he did trust the yorozuya enough to leave him be with Hijikata, so he was finally convinced to leave. 

"Been waiting long?" Gintoki asked. 

"As if I'd wait for you. I just couldn't sleep."

"Right," Gintoki drawled, earning a scowl from the mayora. "Well, I was baking you a cake and it took longer than expected since I've got to run and buy other stuff as well."

"Cake?"

"Yup, the strawberry shortcake you liked. Enjoy it while your taste buds still crave for it. You'd be back into a mayora soon, so you wouldn't want to eat one without using mayonnaise as an icing after giving birth."

Hijikata just realized that one too. The perm head did put a lot of thinking on this one. "It would take me sometime before going back to shape like this." Hijikata said, knowing he'll eat it all. 

"That would be the future Hijikata's problem. Present Hijikata wants to eat, so you can eat and be merry like Christmas. I've got a list of what you're not supposed to eat, so I made sure it's safe." Gintoki said. "Well, it's still not Christmas Eve, so I was thinking we do something else while waiting for the countdown. 

"Something else like?"

"Let's play truth or dare or play cards."

Hijikata frowned. "Really? This is your idea of a date?"

"Honestly, nope. My idea was more like something involving cuddles or making out, but you wouldn't want things to escalate that quickly, would you?"

"I'm seriously gonna be turned off with your way of saying things." Hijikata deadpanned. 

"Nope, you like it." Gintoki smirked. Where the hell is the confidence coming from? "Since I'm not really in the mood to play cards, let's play truth or dare. Hijikata-kun, truth or dare?"

"I wouldn't be able to do much, yorozuya. I'll just go with truth."

"Okay, so who was your first kiss?" Gintoki asked and sure enough, Hijikata was completely dumbfounded, not expecting a question like that. He should've known better than playing this sick game with the bastard. 

"W—wha— that's too personal oi!"

"Oh? Don't tell me you haven't—" Gintoki said with a mischievous face and Hijikata had to beat him up to it. 

"I haven't okay?! There! I don't have time to fool around, which apparently you have a lot."

"Oi, Gin-san was just a curious teenager and women in brothels were—"

"That information is completely unnecessary," Hijikata said, not wanting to hear about Gintoki's sexual life as a teenager.

"Okay, your loss. It's a getting to know each other stage you know." Gintoki shrugged. 

"I don't care. I don't wanna hear it. Your turn. Truth or dare?"

"Truth,"

"Okay," Hijikata had to think of something to get the yorozuya off guard as well. "Why do you like me?"

 

Successfully, Gintoki was totally baffled, but the question retaliated to Hijikata as well. He's not even sure what he'd hear from this asshole! He'd surely just joke around or be a jerk about it! And damn, he actually wanted to know why the perm head suddenly decided that he actually likes Hijikata. 

"I—if you put it like that... " eeeh?? Where did the smug and overly confident yorozuya earlier go?! Why is this idiot acting all bashful all of the sudden and couldn't meet his gaze?! "I—I can't really say..." what's with this stuttering nonsense now?! 

"Oi, don't give me that crap! That's how the game works! Answer it!" Hijikata demanded for an answer. 

"That's so unfair Hijikata-kun," Gintoki said with an actual pout. 

"What's so unfair about it after asking me with my damn first kiss?"

"That's because it's not as embarrassing as admitting that you're actually a virgin!"

"Who—who are you calling virgin?! Wanna die, you bastard?!"

"Oh, I was under the impression that you didn't screw with women so—" Gintoki was suddenly hit by an unconventional idea. "So you're a virgin when it comes to women? You've had an experience with a man, instead then?" Gintoki's expression changed. It was suddenly stoic out of all the sudden. 

 

"Ha??? Can you even hear yourself, so asshole?!" Hijikata said, quite ridiculed with the idea. 

"Then what do you mean when you said—"

"You don't have to say call me virgin, you idiot," Hijikata grumbled. "Don't look down on me, you asshole."

 _"Oh. Oooh,"_ it was then Gintoki's turn to blush. 

"Ah, forget it! I'm not playing this shit anymore!" Hijikata said, covering himself with the blanket. "I'm sleeping, merry Christmas to you."

 

There was silence until Gintoki spoke up. "I already told you you're an ikemen, right? But everyone already knows that. In the times I've spent with you, I... I think you're really cute and you're actually tsundere."

"Ha?" Hijikata sat up again and looked at him, realizing the yorozuya finally decided to answer the question. He's disappointed it's that shallow though. The bastard just liked his face! "That's why you suddenly liked me?"

"Do I really have to spell out every single aspect of you that I liked?" Hijikata froze at that. There's actually many?! "Fine, I like your face, your blush, your smell, your eyes, your v shaped bangs, your loyalty and devotion to your precious Shinsengumi, your character, your personality, your shitty language, your genuine smile, your laugh that I rarely heard, your voice, and all of your shitty parts as well! There, do I have to enumerate the shitty stuff I actually hate, but I'm cool with when it comes to you anyway?"

 

"Uh... " Hijikata was at a loss of words. He was so unprepared for that. How is he supposed to respond to that? Say, _"thank you, you're not as shitty as well"_?

"Your turn. Truth or dare?" Gintoki saved him the trouble of answering that one. Gintoki didn't actually need one apparently. 

"Dare," Hijikata had enough with the severity of choosing truth.

 

"I dare you to let me kiss you,"

 

What? 

 

Before Hijikata can process the question, Gintoki was already leaning close to him and Hijikata can't find it in him to make his brain function and move. Gintoki was so damn close that he can feel his breath on his face and slowly, he tilted his face to press his their lips toge—

 

"Forster Mayora mami, Number 15! Merry Christmas!" Kagura crashed inside the room with a bubbly voice. 

Gintoki quickly retracted himself and acted as a well mannered gentleman in front of a kid, while Hijikata found Kagura's voice as a cure to his unmoving body and looked out at the window, as if a fireworks display was out. Kagura didn't miss the weird atmosphere between the two though. 

"What were you doing?" Kagura asked. 

"Ah, Kagura. What are you doing here? Who let you in?" Gintoki asked, his voice was quite shaking. 

"Who let _you_ in, Gin-chan? I had to wait and come with the gorilla so he can arrange something to let us celebrate here."

"Eh? Kondo-san?" Hijikata asked, quite confused. 

"Kagura-chan, there you are. I told you not to go and run on your own. You'll disturb other patients," Shinpachi then followed. "You should've waited for Kondo-san and the others downstairs, you know."

"What do you mean _'and the others'_?" Gintoki said with his eyelid twitching in irritation. 

"Oh, Gin-san. So you're already here. I though you went out to drink first before coming here. Alcohol is not allowed after all. Okita-san and Kondo-san are downstairs with Otose-san and Ane-ue. They're already on their way here, I think. Kagura was too excited, so she went ahead and took the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator,"

 

Gintoki's face fell, and with that, the date was suddenly over. It's not entirely bad though. As much as Gintoki wanted an alone time with Hijikata, it isn't so bad to spend Christmas with more people. The room was a lot livelier considering the people inside the room. Sougo and Kagura fought again, but it was less violent this time. Kondo was battered relentlessly by Otae while Shinpachi was trying to stop her. Otose was keeping Hijikata occupied and Gintoki was just observing how this night turned out. He's now sitting on Hijikata's bed and when Hijikata asked for the cake he made him. 

"Woah, Gin-san made that for you, Toshi?" Kondo asked, still lively despite all that beating. 

"Ah, yeah."

"He's really good at taking care of you, Toshi. I'm glad you two finally decided to give it a chance," Kondo smile, genuinely happy. Gintoki doesn't think he's been looking after Hijikata enough though. If he is, Hijikata wouldn't have to spend Christmas in the hospital. 

"It's just a cake, gorilla. I can even bake you a banana cake," Gintoki said. 

"Really, Gin-san??" Kondo's face lit up with excitement. 

"Sure. It won't be for free though. I'm not trying to court you or impress you, so I'm charging," Gintoki said, embarrassing Hijikata again. 

"That's unfair, Gin-san." Kondo complained. "You should at least provide an incentive or a dowry for stealing our Toshi from us."

"That's right, Danna," Sougo agreed. "Gives us 15 million yen and that banana cake as dowry and Hijikata-san is all yours. Don't give him back ever again," 

"Damn you, Sougo!" Hijikata opposed to the idea of course. 

"I can't even pay my damn rent, you bastard," Gintoki said. "I can pay you with 15 banana cakes though."

"Oi!" Hijikata's further protests were ignored. 

"That's unfair, Gin-chan! You don't bake me cake when—" Kagura's complaint was cut short when Shinpachi suddenly announced that Christmas was only 15 seconds away, so everyone began on the countdown. 

 

"10...9....8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1—"

 

To their surprise there was suddenly an explosion. A fireworks display came into view from the window and everyone went closer the glass for a better view. Well, all except Hijikata who couldn't leave the bed, and Gintoki who decided to remain sitting on Hijikata's bed with him. 

While everyone else, including Hijikata was facing the wide glass windows to watch the fireworks display, Gintoki took the chance and kissed Hijikata on the cheek, catching the vice commander completely off guard. He glanced at Gintoki and he was now looking at the fireworks as if he didn't just do something.

"Wha—"

"You owe me a real one." Gintoki then said with a smug look that Hijikata wanted to erase with his fist. 

"Woaha! Look, Gin-chan! That one looks delicious!" Kagura pointed one out. 

"That's not food," Gintoki replied as he finally decided to hop out of the bed and walk towards the yorozuya kids.

"Merry Christmas, Hijikata-san." it was then Sougo's voice who surely sounded sarcastic. He saw that, didn't he? 

 

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"It's Christmas Eve huh?" Namaye said to herself upon checking her phone to confirm the time when she saw the fireworks display.

She kept it back inside her pocket then she finished the last mini snowman she was forming. It was shorter compared to the other three she made, and she thinks the height difference is just perfect. 

"There. Now you really are Shin-chan," she said to the last snowman. She smiled to herself as she settled in front of the snowmen she formed. Distinctively, each represented someone, but she didn't voice it out. She just knew which is which. 

"Ah, it's more than half a year since I've been here, Shin-chan. You're right. It's a one way in, no way out. I'm not sure how much longer I need to stay... But I know I don't have so much time left," she said, talking to the smallest snowman. 

She checked out the fireworks display on the night sky and sure enough, it was soon over. "Ah, that was beautiful, isn't it. I should've made eyes for you guys. You missed the display."

She turned to the other snowman in the middle and began talking again. "I wonder how you're holding out right now. You're probably so angry after finding out why I went missing. I'd guess you immediately headed back to the haven and went out from the battle field when you heard about it. I didn't say anything... Because I'd know you'd stop me. You can't always protect me and carry all the burden on your shoulders, you know." she just stared at the snowman. Of course it wouldn't reply. She'd run away and freak out if it actually would. The next one on the right is supposed to be Sora, but she doesn't know what to say. It's already the second Christmas without him, but it still felt like it's all her fault. "I'm sorry..."

Lastly, she began talking to the other one at the end. "Hahhh, oyaji, I messed up. He's now stuck on the hospital bed, and this isn't supposed happen. Don't worry though. It's fine now. I've got this. I wanted sneak around his room just once, but he's a light sleeper and someone always watches over his room, it's annoying. _You're_ annoying too. You're right though... He's so much like me...or _I'm_ just like him... I... I wanted to hug him the first time I saw him... But I still couldn't do that even when he's right there in front of me," There was then silence, and she couldn't stop herself but worry.   
"How about you, there? Don't worry... You wouldn't have to be in so much pain soon."

Alone in the cold and empty park under the starless night sky, she let out the breath she wasn't aware she was holding. This is her first Christmas without those people... Well, it's not like they're all present every Christmas. Shin-chan doesn't like noise and parties after all and Sora is dead. Despite being the same place, this Edo is still different from the Edo she knew. It feels so lonely.   
Wow, for once, it's a quiet Christmas. 

"Merry Christmas." she whispered to the thin air with a melancholic smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who wanted to see arts btw? I've been drawing stuff about this fic but I dunno how to post it here so I was thinking of reviving my tumblr though I'm not really confident in managing it. ~~I just draw and write as a hobby and I'm a beginner in digital arts so it's not gonna be very impressive~~  
>  Aaaand. What to expect the next chapter? The baby is coming.


	20. Names Should be as Meaningful as the Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata was rushed to the hospital while Gintoki was away and Namaye got busted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Omamori - Japanese lucky charms  
> *Omikuji (おみくじ) - are Japanese fortune-telling paper strips that can be found at shrines and temples throughout the country. The fortune that one is granted can range from having a great blessing (大吉) to a great curse (大凶).  
> Aaand it's another long ass chapter. (6.5k words)

Hijikata was out of the hospital the before New Year and the entire Shinsengumi held a big new Year party together with the yorozuya in the Snack Smile. Gintoki didn't allow Hijikata to stay too long in the loud party though. He knew it's gonna get messy and wild in no time, so he'll have to evacuate Hijikata before they get caught in the crossfire. Besides, he looked tired and Gintoki didn't miss the frequent pained expression he gives whenever he tried to reach and massage his back. 

"I'm fine,"

"You have to rest," Gintoki said. "It's late and we are done celebrating New Year."

"Fine," Hijikata said as he went to lie down on his futon. He was getting ready to sleep when he noticed that Gintoki is not going back downstairs. Instead, he stayed in the room and made himself comfortable near the window. "Uh, aren't you heading back there?"

"They're a loud bunch," Gintoki replied. "You won't be able to sleep."

"Why send me to bed then?" Hijikata glared. He didn't want to leave so soon. 

"You _do_ need to rest and it will bore you out of your wits staying here awake on your own."

"It's fine," Hijikata said, "I'll manage to sleep on my own. Just go back and drink your heart out," 

"I want to have you for myself too, bastard."

"As if," Hijikata huffed and turned his back to Gintoki. He's getting better at handling Gintoki's blunt mouth, though not entirely. Gintoki can see his red ear despite not seeing his face. He's still clearly embarrassed and blushing. "Seriously, just go back,"

"I don't want to,"

"Why?"

"Because you're here of course."

"Stop that,"

"I'm being honest here Oogushi-kun,"

"Who the hell are you calling Oogushi?!"

" _My_ Oogushi-kun of course," Gintoki smirked and Hijikata threw his pillow at his face. 

"Can't you just—" He turned even redder. "Uhg forget it!" Hijikata groaned and covered his entire body with the thick blanket. Gintoki smirked at the little tantrum and gently placed the pillow back underneath his head. 

Silence prevailed for the entire ten minutes and Gintoki was not sure if Hijikata is still awake or not. He then went closer to him and gently positioned himself just beside the mayora on his futon. He's careful not to wake him up, and when another streak of minutes passed with an unmoving Hijikata, Gintoki decided that yup, he's asleep. He then scooted closer and embraced the blanket clad mayora. 

With all honesty, Gintoki suggested the rest mainly because he's worried. Hijikata looked like his back pain really started to get worse, and he's still worried about him and the baby. Another thing is that... No matter how overly confident he might act, he's still not really sure if Hijikata will really decline with the marriage. His position is also at stake here. Gintoki didn't want to be selfish, but he didn't want Hijikata to choose the practical way out either. Choosing him is a big turn. It's a thorny and uncertain path for sure, but he wanted to assure Hijikata that they'll get through. 

"Hijikata, I'm being serious, you know. I'm not letting go." Gintoki whispered, not expecting a response. 

"...I'm awfully aware of that," to Gintoki's surprise, Hijikata replied. 

"Oh, you're awake. Why didn't you say anything, Hijikata-kun? You like Gin-san hugging you?"

"Shut up. I was trying to sleep... And it's warm."

"I'll keep you warm then." Gintoki grinned and went inside the blanket as well then enveloped him in a warm embrace. 

"I didn't say you can come under the blanket too," Hijikata said, though not doing an actual effort of shooing Gintoki off. 

"Well, I'm cold too." Gintoki justified. 

"Whatever." Gintoki scoffed at the passive reply. He's staying then.  
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When the morning came, the kids were getting ready to go to the shrine. Gintoki was helping Kagura with her hair and only then, Hijikata noticed the red scarf she's wearing. Isn't that the scarf Sougo knitted and called it a pig's collar when he strangled Kagura with it? She's been wearing that since winter, right? 

"Nice scarf, China," Hijikata pointed out. 

"Oh? Is it? It's a donation." came Kagura's reply. 

"Donation? Why the heck would you receive a donation?" Hijikata asked. Sougo probably rubbed it on her and labeled it as "donation" just like that pink pig plush. So those two are actually getting along just fine? 

"Because I'm gorgeous aru," as if that would all make perfect sense, but sure. Hijikata will let that go. 

They then set off and headed to the shrine once Shinpachi showed up with Otae to pick them up. They checked the mail, the expecting loads of New Year cards were there, and they're not wrong. Thankfully, Gintoki and Shinpachi didn't see poorly photoshoped pictures of them being attached to the cards. Sarutobi sent a card with her own fake pregnancy photo saying to the world that she's pregnant with Gintoki's kid, and the yorozuya boss immediately burned it before Hijikata can idiotically believe that. 

It was crowded once they arrived in the location. They paid their respects and followed the traditional practice like ringing the bell then pray for their wishes for the year. Gintoki was so damn sure of what he wanted. Hijikata and the baby's safety along with winning over them of course. After finishing his prayers, he glanced at Hijikata and caught him soothing the bump while deep in thought. 

"What did you pray for?" Gintoki asked. 

"My normal sense of taste in foods and the baby," Hijikata replied with a smirk. Gintoki scoffed at that. 

They went off and the moment Kagura dashed off with Sadaharu to buy *omamori, (sponsored by her foster mayora mami again) the spearheads of the Shinsengumi showed up. Normally, it's also their job to regulate peace around the crowded area, but judging their day off clothes, that's not what they're here for. 

"Yorozuya! Toshi!" Kondo beamed, and here it goes.. "OTAE-SAAAN—!" He crashed face down on the snow with the Shimura woman's blow. 

"I didn't expect to see you guys here. Well, I was thinking that the gorilla was too wasted to get up early in the morning," Gintoki mused. 

"Knowing that the love of his life is coming is enough motivation to win against his hangover," Sougo explained. "Have you checked for your *omikuji already?" 

"Not yet. We're just about to go there," Gintoki said, looking forward to get a good fortune reading this year.

"How about China ang Shimira-kun?" Hijikata asked. He's the one who allowed them to wander around after all. 

"They'll be fine." Gintoki reassured him. 

"Well, are you guys coming? We're just about to go there." Sougo said monotonously. 

"Yup. I surely can't wait check my luck in pachinko this year," Gintoki agreed, in which Hijikata groaned. 

"Gambling again? You're hopeless." Hijikata rolled his eyes, but still went with them though. 

Kondo was finally released and went along with them to check their fortune for the year. They shook the box and took their stick with the number of the respective drawer where their fortune was located in a piece of paper. Once they got their fortunes(omikuji), Kagura and Shinpachi caught up with them. It appears that they've been there already after getting omamori (lucky charms) and Kagura proudly waved her omikuji at Gintoki like a kid telling her dad that she got an A+ in school. 

"Gin-chan! Gin-chan! I got a 吉(Blessing)!" Kagura said with glee. 

"Kagura-chan, I told you, you shouldn't boast it out. That's not good, you know," Shinpachi sighed. He probably already said that not just twice today. 

"My, my, Kagura-chan sure looks very energetic this year," Otae smiled. "How about you, Shin-chan?"

"I've got a 半吉(Half-blessing)," Shinpachi replied simply. 

"That's good to hear then, Shin-chan," Otae smiled. 

"Anego, Does this mean I'll have more sukonbu this year?" Kagura eagerly inquired. 

"Maybe if your foster mami decides to be the breadwinner of your place with our tax in his paycheck," Otae replied, in which Hijikata immediately protested. Sougo then came back and joined the conversation as he boasted what he picked to Kagura. 

"Too bad, China. Looks like you lost against me again," Sougo said with a victorious smirk on his face, showing everyone that he got a 大吉(Great blessing).

"Oi, I said you're not supposed to boast here!" Shinpachi protested. 

"Ohh! Way to go Sougo! I've got 末吉(Future Blessing) this year! Maybe that means I'm another step closer to Otae-san's heart—" Kondo was about to express his vision of the future with Otae, but Shinpachi cut him short. 

"You don't need fortune for that, Kondo-san," Shinpachi said, "You need a miracle."

"A miracle is a blessing Shinpachi-kun!" Kondo insisted. 

Gintoki and the rest decided to read their omijuki since Sougo already did. Otae smiled while reading the details of her 小吉(Small Blessing) and Gintoki frowned at what he got. 

"半吉(Half Blessing), huh? What is this supposed to mean?" Gintoki complained then he proceeded to read the details of the categories such as health, love, marriage, business, childbirth, disputes, studies, travel, finding lost articles and achieving desires.

"That means, you're mostly going to lose in the stupid pachinko parlor, so you shouldn't be wasting your money in there," Hijikata said, keeping his strip of paper in his pocket once he finished reading the writings. 

"Ah really? I bet you had the same!" Gintoki protested. "Oh come on. Show me what yah got."

"Don't be stupid. I don't believe in this stuff," Hijikata scoffed, his hold tightening on the object he kept inside his pocket. 

Gintoki huffed his annoyance and said he's no fun at all, but Hijikata was not listening to him. He's thinking of a way to get away from there. The problem is, he's not supposed to leave on his own. 

"Ah, Gintoki, I'll have to go somewhere," Hijikata said.

"Where?" Gintoki asked, already thinking that he'll go with him so he should know where they're going. 

"Ah—no," Hijikata looked around. He needs someone who won't give a shit to go with him. Whatever. This jerk will have to do. "Sougo and I will go."

Gintoki raised an eyebrow at that. Sougo just deadpanned at him and said, "No, I'm not," he's busy with an argument with China here. 

"Yes you are," Hijikata pulled him away. "We'll be back!"

Gintoki frowned at them as they disappeared into the crowd. Just where are they going? Sougo was wondering the same thing. As much as he wanted to piss Gintoki off, he was in the middle of arguing with China and he was losing! He needed to give a comeback because Hijikata pulled him out of the blue and the insults were left hanging on his side of the scale. 

"Hijikata-san, you should know by now how Danna hates us being too close, right?"

"Are we close?" Hijikata asked rhetorically. 

"Nope," Sougo answered it anyway. None of them would actually admit that despite everything, they're still good friends. 

"Exactly," Hijikata seconded and Sougo can only deepen his frown of displeasure as he idly followed after Hijikata.  
"Stay here. I'll be back," Hijikata said when they're far enough and were under a big tree. 

"Ey ey, Hijikata-san. I'm not gonna let you drag me here and let myself lose an argument just to be left like a dog tied to a tree," Sougo glared with his arms crossed.

"I'll be back okay?"

"Not happening. If you're gonna do something you don't want Danna to know and leave me here, I'm automatically gonna report you to the boss. At least humor me with why you don't want anyone who'd worry come with you here," Sougo said. He has a damn point. He chose Sougo because despite being a major jerk who's always attempting to murder him, he won't worry as much as anyone else would. 

"Fine," Hijikata sighed and walked towards his real destination. "Keep your mouth shut or I'll tell China—"

"Shut up, Hijikata-san. Just die in a ditch somewhere," Sougo cut him short. Hijikata scoffed at that. That's Sougo for you alright. 

When they made it to a certain spot in the shrine, it suddenly clicked into Sougo. This is the designated area where people tie their paper strip with bad fortune (omikuji). It has been said that you shouldn't take bad fortune with you. Instead, leave it in the shrine to avoid or at least delay the bad fortune. Now this is why he didn't want to let Gintoki and the others know. 

"So you got a bad fortune, Hijikata-san," Sougo said as a matter of fact. Hijikata didn't reply and was busy tying up the paper. "How bad was it? Which part was the worst? Marriage? Love? Studies? Disputes? Child—"

"It's none of your business. It doesn't matter. I make my own fate. Let's go now before they can find us here," Hijikata said as soon as he finished tying it up. He then walked back to where the others are. 

Sougo, left with his curiosity, examined the paper Hijikata tied there. It's almost hard to distinguish which one it was since everything looked the same, but he can perfectly remember how Hijikata tied it and which spot he did, so Sougo immediately found it. He slowly unfolded the part where he'd find the main description, careful not to tear it, then he read it. 

 

 **末凶** (Future Curse) 

 

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Hijikata had to see the doctor every day to regulate his and baby's vital signs and it was normal for the next few days. He's due in two weeks, so they're making preparations. Yamazaki had to drop by with a patrol car everyday for them to use. Eventually, they decided to just rent a car. It's less flashy that way since the patrol car brings too much unwanted attention in the hospital parking lot. 

To Hijikata's relief, Sougo didn't tell a soul about what happened in the shrine. He just teased Gintoki to piss him off by saying things that they actually didn't do. That's better than spilling what actually happened. 

This day particularly, the yorozuya was out on a job in the Yoshiwara, so it was Tetsunosuke who volunteered to keep a watch on him. The kid is too devoted, he should say. The day went on as normal and his check up with the doctor went fine. Gintoki didn't leave for work together with the kids until the visit with the doctor is done. Even after an hour of going to work, he gave Hijikata a call. 

"Aren't you supposed to be at work right now, idiot?" Hijikata said. 

"Ah, I just wanted to hear your voice or something like that,"

"Very funny," Hijikata scoffed, ignoring the threatening blush. "I know you're just skipping work."

"You're supposed to say it's very sweet and I'm not skipping. I wanted to tell you that this mess might take a while. The kids are out looking for the thing and I have to set out with Tsukuyo in a minute. You know, Tsukuyo? The one with a scar on her face and big boo—,"

"Yeah, I knew about the devil courtesan of Yoshiwara," Hijikata rolled his eyes. He knew he'd be helping her out if it's Yoshiwara. No need to talk about the boobs. 

"Is my Oogushi-kun jealous?" Hijikata can definitely hear the shit eating grin from his voice.

"Who are you calling Oogushi?! Who's jealous?!"

"You're against the "Oogushi" and "jealous", but you're not against the "my"?" He can hear the grin getting wider. 

"That's it, I'm hanging up. Call when it's necessary," Hijikata immediately hang up before Gintoki can finish his protest. It didn't take a minute before Gintoki called him again though. With a frown, Hijikata answered it anyway. "I thought I said call when it's necessary. Go back to work,"

"It's necessary. My Hijikata-kun is upset," Gintoki justified. 

"I'm not, so go back to work," Hijikata replied, apparently, Gintoki isn't very convinced. 

"Come on, I'm sorry okay? What do you want when I get home? Fresh strawberries?" Hijikata can hear faint instructions from Tsukuyo, confirming that the idiot shouldn't be in the phone right now. What the heck is he thinking? 

"I want you and the kids back unscratched when you get back, so get going already,"

"Oh, so _you want me?_ " the idiot is already running, considering his breathing, but he's still not hanging up. 

"Use the entire sentence, damn it. Seriously, you'll get in trouble if you still cling unto the phone,"

"...Are you gonna be fine?" And here it is, the real reason why he's calling. The idiot is worried. 

"Stop worrying. Just be back soon," Hijikata sighed. 

"Okay, tell the cherry boy I'll rip his balls out if something happens to you,"

"I know, I know,"

"I'll be back before dinner," and finally, he hung up.  
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It was already half past six p.m. and there's still no sign of the yorozuya. Hijikata was worried, though he knows even a petty job like finding a cat can take so much time. They're probably covered in blood due to the idiot's recklessness by now. 

Hijikata stood up to see what he can salvage in the fridge when he felt a sudden pain and the yorozuya was still not home. Is the pain just like his back pain? Is it just normal? What's taking them so long? Maybe it will die down soon.  
...  
No, it freaking won't. The pain is starting to feel unbearable! Where is that asshole? 

"Fukucho?" Tetsu sprang into attention as he saw the weight of discomfort in Hijikata's face.

"Tetsu, get— get help downstairs. Then— then get the car. I think the baby is coming," Hijikata said, using every bit of his strength to give a clear and coherent order. 

In panic, Tetsu did as told and wailed for help to the people in the Snack Smile. Otose hurriedly went upstairs and covered Hijikata with sufficient clothing to hide his identity and took the bags they prepared before hand. She then instructed Hijikata of the proper breathing while Tama was helping him get downstairs. The streets of Kabukicho was still lively considering the night just fell, so hiding Hijikata's identity is a must. Tetsu helped them get Hijikata into the car and Otose demanded to know where the perm head is. Panicked and fidgety Tetsu couldn't provide an answer that would satisfy them and couldn't start driving, so Catherine impatiently took over the wheels and speed off to the hospital. 

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.

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"Patsuan! I really can't find my phone!"

"You probably dropped your phone while chasing the wolf-horse, Gin-san. That's why I told you to stop checking on Hijikata-san every now and then." Shinpachi replied. 

Gintoki huffed in annoyance. How is he going to explain this to Hijikata? He said he's going to be late, but it's far too late than he expected. He even promised to be back before dinner! They still have to catch the last wolf-horse who kidnapped another hostess and he really doesn't have time for this! Hijikata is going to egg on him. 

Shinpachi sighed and just went on with it. Kagura kept on complaining about being hungry because he's been deprived of lunch and she's demanding dinner. 

"Gintoki, we found them," Tsukuyo said. 

"Finally!" Gintoki exclaimed. 

"Gintoki!" Tsukuyo hissed and covered his mouth. "We're supposed to be hiding—"

"They're here!"

Oh great. Just when he thought it's finally going to be over. 

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"Danna is not answering. Who has another way of getting in contact with them?" Sougo said, as they were waiting in the hospital. He's been trying to contact the yorozuya boss, but to no avail. 

"Ah, I've got Shinpachi-kun's contact," Yamazaki said. 

"Then give him a damn call. Hijikata-san is about to give birth. Where does Danna think he is?" Sougo replied, leaving the hall. He has better things to do. 

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In the doctor's office... 

"What are you talking about?" Yamada furrowed his brows in confusion about what Namaye just said. 

"I said, I have to be the lead surgeon on his cesarean section," Namaye said. 

"I can't do that, Namaye-san,"

"Yes, but you should," Namaye said. "You don't really have a say in this,"

"Hijikata-san only trusts me to do this operation,"

"Oh yeah? But I don't really trust you,"

"You don't have to. You're not my patient," Yamada reasoned. 

"Believe me, I was, and I'm doing everything that I can so I won't be," Namaye said, then made her way out of the room. "I'll be the one who should remove the parasite out of his body. It's either you say yes, or I'll have to cut your hands so I'll have to replace you in the last minute. Take your pick."

Namaye was just a few steps away from the door when a nurse came in in a rush. 

"Yamada-sensei! Hijikata-san's heart rate is dropping!"

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Meanwhile in Yoshiwara...  
They're in the middle of fighting the last wolf-horse amanto when Shinpachi's phone began to ring. 

"Shinpachi! I told you not to entertain scams!" Gintoki exclaimed, trying to put the amanto to sleep as Shinpachi was struggling to lift the unconscious hostess while answering the phone at the same time. 

"Shinpachi-kun! Where is Danna?" He immediately heard Yamazaki on the other end of the line. 

"Uh, yes... Yamazaki-san? This is really a bad time—"

"Fukucho is in the hospital! His heart rate is dropping and the doctors are trying to do what they can so that he can survive the—"

"GIN-SAN!" Shinpachi heard enough and called out to Gintoki. He has to go now. "Hijikata-san is in the hospital!"

That's all Gintoki had to hear as well. 

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It was about 9:45 in the evening and only Gintoki was allowed to get in Hijikata's room in the intensive care unit. Otose was with the yorozuya kids while Kondo is the only Shinsengumi personnel present. He explained that Sougo called Yamazaki out to do something important, and they didn't press him for details. That's a good thing, since Kondo doesn't have an idea what Sougo was up to as well actually. 

Meanwhile, Gintoki waited and Hijikata seems to be coming back into consciousness. 

"Hiji—Hijikata," Gintoki's eye blew wide and immediately pressed the button to call the doctor. 

"Shut up, you're too noisy," Hijikata groaned. "How long was I out?"

"Like ten years in my calendar," Gintoki replied. "I thought I didn't make it, idiot."

"I'm not gonna go down that easy, perm head,"

Yamada came and checked on Hijikata. After checking, he said he announced that he'll have to proceed with the c-section in 30 minutes. Hijikata nodded in approval and Gintoki numbly remained standing, deep in thought even after Yamada left. 

"Nothing happened yet. You can cry later," Hijikata scoffed. Gintoki didn't appreciate the joke. It's a really bad joke. Too harmful for his heart.

"Don't talk like that," Gintoki said, tone too sharp and voice deep. This made Hijikata meet him in the eye. 

"That was obviously a joke. Stop looking like that. Don't tell me you'd actually cry." Hijikata asked, rhetorically. 

"I'd cry happy tears once you two are safe," Gintoki said. Hijikata was actually expecting him to deny crying altogether. 

"Just imagining your stupid crying face is weird. Just don't cry at all," Hijikata sighed. 

"You promised, Hijikata," Gintoki said, burying his face in the hospital sheets. 

"For a drunk, you have quite a sharp memory," Hijikata said his thoughts out loud. Perhaps he wasn't as drunk as he was in the scandal arc where he didn't remember a thing. "Stop making that stupid face. I intend to keep that promise. We're still here, aren't we? So far, I've been doing a good job, don't you think?" Hijikata smirked as he gently combed Gintoki's perm with his fingers, encouraging him to lift his face away from the hospital sheets. He's supposed to wear the surgical cap, but Hijikata decided to remove it. 

"Don't remove the cap," Gintoki mumbled through the sheets, still refusing to resurface his face. 

"It's not like I'm going to die from your dandruff," Hijikata scoffed. 

"Bastard," Gintoki rolled his face to the side, facing Hijikata with a smile. That's better. He hates seeing Gintoki worry too much. As much as it's annoying, it doesn't sit well with Hijikata. The perm head took Hijikata's hand from his hair and pressed it on his face instead. The gesture caused a light flush on Hijikata's face. 

"Tch, finally, you wiped that gloomy look on your face," Hijikata huffed, avoiding eye contact at all cost as he tried covering his worsening blush with his other hand.

"Ooh~ so my Hijikata-kun is trying to cheer me up?"

"Shut up,"

...

Meanwhile in the other side of the wall with a glass window where the others can perfectly see them... 

"They know that we can see them, right?" Shinpachi said, staring at the glass window with a blank face.

"They probably don't care," Kagura replied, too busy eating to care as well. 

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.  
.

When the operation started, Gintoki was very still for an hour. He didn't move an inch, and after another couple of minutes, he began to pace back and forth, all fidgety. Kagura already fell asleep and Otose took her with them back home (with Tama the one carrying her of course) while Shinpachi decided to stay. Kondo stayed as well, and finally, Sougo showed up. Despite his usual dead fish eyes, everyone can see through the nervousness in his system. Kondo tried to distract the perm head with small talks, but he still can't calm down. He just can't find it in him to freaking calm down. Well, how can he when the last thing he remembered before leaving Hijikata on the hands of the doctors was Hijikata's painful pants and the facts that they started ten minutes ahead of schedule. 

"Was something wrong? Why was he suddenly in pain and— and they started earlier than expected..." here comes the mumbling stage.

"His water broke, Danna. That's what they said. We are not doctors. You can ask them the rest later," Sougo replied. 

"What's taking them so long?" Gintoki complained. "I wanna ask so many things!"

"They have to remove the parasite too, remember?" Sougo replied. The young sadist was already slouching on the chair with his eye mask on. He just got there, but he's already trying to sleep? 

"And I thought I'd be inside too, holding his hand to give him something to grip onto," Gintoki mumbled. 

"That happens in normal delivery, Danna. Hijikata-san can't possibly handle natural birth. He can barely keep his vitals normal at this point,"

"You're not helping, Souichiro-kun,"

"It's Sougo, Danna, and I'm not trying to help. I'm trying to educate you."

"Not much appreciated, Okita-sensei," Gintoki mocked. 

"You're welcome, Sakata-kun," so much for playing along.

"You should calm down, Gin-san," Shinpachi said, coming back from a short trip to the vending machine. "Come here and sit for a while. Here, I got you a strawberry milk," Shinpachi offered. 

Gintoki sighed and took the advice. He then took a seat and accepted the strawberry milk. It's not like he has something else better to do. He hates this feeling. The feeling of uselessness. He didn't really feel like drinking, but maybe it can help him feel better, so he did take a sip and suddenly, the room's door flew open and Gintoki's eyes blew wide as he recognized the strawberry flavor of the drink in his mouth.  
"Sakata-san?" Yamada called and took off his face mask to speak properly. 

"Yeah," He immediately went to the doctor together with Shinpachi and Kondo while Sougo remained on his seat with the eye mask still on as if he's already asleep. 

"Congratulations, Sakata-san. It's a boy," Yamada said with a smile of reassurance. That's one nail out of his heart. There's still another. 

"Hijikata— how is Hijikata?"

"His pulse was weak and we almost lost him, but luckily, his body didn't give out. He's still unconscious though. For now, let's wait for him to wake up on his own. You can see your baby in the nursery room under the name of Hijikata Toshiro. We still don't have his name after all. Would Hijikata-san be the one to decide on the matter? I heard he'd be having the child's custody."

"Somehow... Yeah." Gintoki said, still a bit disoriented. 

"I'll be on my way then," Yamada sensei said as he left. 

They're fine. The baby... He's in the nursery. Hijikata— Hijikata is unconscious, but he said he'll be fine. They'll be fine. 

 

"Shinpachi... What day is today?" Gintoki asked. 

"Eh? Uh, the 5th of January," Shinpachi replied, thinking it's already past midnight. Gintoki actually knows. He checked the time every now and then since he can't do anything better than get a track on that. He just wants to double check. He's thinking of something he should've thought about before. 

Gintoki smiled fondly at the strawberry milk on his hand and then said, "It's settled then,"

 

....  
Unbeknownst to them, Sougo left to follow Yamada and passed by him as he said his message, "I took care of that, so make sure you did as I said. Once I find out you're messing with me, I'll chop you down and feed you to carnivorous parasites,"

"Uh, yes, Okiata-san," Yamada replied. 

Sougo didn't bother looking at him or pausing. He gave the doctor his choice, and the doctor better kept his end of the bargain. It's either he won't have to chop him or he'll have to grind him as parasite food. He then went straight to the nursery to check for his Assassin Number 14 who was just placed in there. Oh. It's indeed a boy. The ultrasound was not wrong. Confirming this, he turned on his heel and went straight back to the barracks. He needs answers. 

.  
.  
.  
.

Hijikata Toshiro feels like shit. His throat is sore and his body feels saggy and numb. What happened? His water broke and—oh. The baby. What happened—

"Oh! You're up Toshi!" He found Kondo in a corner of the room carrying— oh. Is that—the baby?? He wanted to get up and have a better look of him, but Kondo immediately stopped him. "You can't get up yet, Toshi. Here, I'll place Number 14 right beside you. There, there, little one," Kondo cooed. 

Hijikata stared at the baby like it's the first time he actually saw a baby in his life. Is this really his baby? The baby that was just in his belly for months? Hijikata slowly reached out his hand to touch his small palm and when his finger was close enough, the baby decided to grab it with his tiny hand and grip it tight. He felt like his heart just leapt. Hijikata was completely unaware of his surroundings including the smile he gave off and the click of the camera on Kondo's hand. He didn't even notice Gintoki coming inside the room with grocery. He paused at the sight with awe as well. 

"Uh— Gintoki."

"How are you feeling?" Gintoki asked, placing the grocery on the table. 

"Numb," Hijikata replied, looking so drained and exhausted, like he actually went into natural birth instead of a cesarean section.

Gintoki drew close and leaned closer to the newborn. He then caressed the raver hair of the baby and said, "Aaah, you got mama's hair."

"He got _your_ hair, idiot. It looks curly." Hijikata argued. 

"It's not."

"It is, look closely, you idiot." Hijikata insisted.

"Language, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki did look closely and touched the baby's soft hair, confirming that it is indeed somehow curly. "Oh, I guess he is. He sure does look as handsome as daddy. Of course, everything makes sense now," Gintoki mused, making Hijikata scoff. 

"Have you thought of a name or we're gonna settle with calling him Number 15?" Hijikata asked.

"Nah, my son is not an android by Dr. Zero." Gintoki said and poked the baby's cheek.  
"This little man right here is our Ichigo." Gintoki grinned proudly. 

"Seriously?" Hijikata chuckled, genuinely humored. 

"Why? We both love _Ichigo_ " (ichigo also means strawberry in Japanese)

_"Yeah... We do,"_

They completely forgot Kondo was there, and they completely have no idea about the pictures Kondo has been taking like a proud grandfather or uncle as he claimed. 

_._  
.  
.  
. 

...  
..  
.  
  
**_For once... I want to be the one protecting you. You've been protecting me all along, aren't you?_**

_Another gust of air that carried rotten stench brushed past her and sure enough, she recognized her location right away. It's the warzone. She's covered with dirt and blood that doesn't belong to her._

_"What are you doing here?!" a man fully clad in blood and armor came and pulled her up the filthy ground. "I told you to stay in the haven!"_

_**of course, you wouldn't let me do that. You're trying to be the man of the house**_

_"Our men needs me. As if I can't hold my sword properly," she replied._

_"Go back to the haven, you twit!" The man exclaimed._

_"Stop trying to protect me! I've been wanting to protect you too! I can't lose anymore more than I already have!" She yelled back. "I feel useless out there! I still feel useless here! Am I even supposed to be here?!"_

_"Don't say that!" He exclaimed, effectively shutting her up. He sighed, repeating the same words with a whisper. "Don't say that... You and the old man are all I have left,"_

_"...The same goes for me, idiot. I don't wanna lose you too, so let me do the same and deal with it."_

_"Just stop okay? Just accept this reality. All we can do right now is fight.. and stay alive for each other. No matter how you try to risk your life out here, Sora and the rest won't come back..."_

_"Then why are you out here and kept coming back as if it will never kill you?" she can't help but question._

_"Because I can.. And I should." the man walked away as he began to scavenge scraps that he can still use from the deserted land. True, she understands that he can always come back and fight again and again because he's never been infected while most came back in pain with symptoms of infection. But she never understood what he meant when he said, **"..I should,"**_

**I wouldn't want to accept this reality, when I know I can change it.**  
  
...  
..  
. 

Namaye opened her eyes and she found herself in a small detention cell. What the— she shouldn't be here right now! She should be there— wait, how long was she out? She tried to move only to find her hands cuffed on her back and she heard the chains connected to the wall. WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?! 

"Finally, you're awake. I didn't expect your lack of sleep to catch up on you when we knocked you out," came Sougo's voice. Sure enough, the sadist was just sitting on a single chair right at her cell door. How long has he been sitting there? How long was she out? 

"What's this, Okita-san?" She asked, seething in anger. She actually had an idea. Yamada probably reported to Sougo and this happened, given that Sougo has been very tight around her movements. 

"Detention and interrogation," Sougo said. 

"What happened to Hijikata-san?" 

"Well, you do want to know, don't you?" Sougo smirked. "I'd tell you if you tell me things too. What are you trying to do, arranging Hijikata-san's wedding? You're the one who told Totsan and schemed this omiai fiasco. What's the catch? First, denying that you met Danna and now you're trying to separate him from Hijikata-san?" Sougo said. He the cell door then went inside.  
"Danna was so damn mad, but good thing he got insulted into keeping Hijikata-san to himself. _'You don't have a say who's best for Hijikata'_ , he said." that's a lot of question right there. Questions that Namaye certainly would like to avoid answering. 

"Well, maybe I don't, but neither does he." Namaye huffed. Her hands were still cuffed at her back and chained to the wall, so it's useless to fight Sougo with force right now. 

"I have to say you made quite a pick with Ayane Yukina. You picked someone who looks kinda like my sister." 

"Ha? I wonder who you are talking about." Namaye scoffed. 

Sougo got pissed by the notion and threw a kick that hit the wall hard enough to make a small crack, but not enough to break it. His foot was merely an inch away from Namaye's face.  
"Don't give me that crap. Though I'm pretty sure you never met my sister, I'm sure you know who Okita Mitsuba was to Hijikata-san." 

"Fine. I do know her. I've seen her picture at least and back in my Edo—" 

"I knew you're NOT from an alternate universe, Namaye-san. Let's cut the bullshit. Hijikata-san has been suspicious as well of the very concept, but you owe me that you're still not busted." Sougo spat. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I knew you're from the same universe. But who explained that alternate universe concept to everyone? It was me, wasn't it? Though I'm perfectly aware that it's not the case. Despite looking just like him, you are not Hijikata-san. Hijikata-san is not very fond of Jump, and Yamzaki found your weekly stash in your little den. I can tell by your handwriting as well." 

Namaye has no idea what to say or how she's gonna make another witty comeback. She knew her lab was searched, but she totally disregarded her hand writing on her notes and the Jumps. She thought it wouldn't matter. Observing Namaye, Sougo continued,  
"Same universe, but different time frame, am I wrong?" Namaye held her gasp, but her facial expression didn't escape from Sougo. "Wanna know how I confirmed that? Your portrayal was quite flawed. I'm younger than Hijikata-san no matter what universe you put us in. That's one of the things I'm aware that I cannot surpass with him. In your story, I was a lot older than you. Besides, Hijikata-san would never call me "Okita-san"." 

"There's nothing that I should tell you about," 

"Honestly, I thought you're Assassin Number 14, and the ultrasound was just wrong, but now that the baby is out, I confirmed that you're not him. Thinking that you're the baby Hijikata-san was carrying, I covered up for you, ungrateful bitch. Who are you supposed to be in the future?" Sougo ranted in monotony. 

"I wonder," she rolled her eyes and said it sarcastically. 

"Oh you should really tell actually. A future where I'm vice commander of the Shinsengumi is a future where Hijikata-san is dead," Sougo said, successfully catching Namaye's full attention. "Spill it, Namaye-san. Tell me everything and maybe I can just help you on what you're trying to achieve. you wouldn't want them finding out, would you?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See what I did there? Gin-san named their son "Ichigo" (which means strawberry) because they both (at least during pregnancy) loved strawberry (ichigo) aaand it's not just that. Gintoki asked for the date because January 5 and is simply 01,05. In Japanese, 1=ichi 5=go so there, it's Ichigo. 
> 
> Btw, the art for this chapter is over  
> [here](https://arahiro-kun.tumblr.com/image/177325797788)


	21. Naming Children the Same Thing will be Confusing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you can see if your new theories are right or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part is supposed to be part of the previous chapter, but I was thinking that it might ruin the mood and ch 20 was already too long, so I moved it here. Im impressed Eyn noticed the difference of feminine and masculine characters. Sorry for the long talk.

"土方 一護 (Hijikata Ichigo)," Hijikata read the name out loud. "I thought you're going to use 苺 (strawberry). Wait—. Did you just name our kid from another Jump hero?!"

"I gave a lot of thought on that oi!"

"Oh yeah? And you went around saying you named him because of the damn fruit!"

"I did! I was holding a strawberry milk when I thought about it! Well, it was actually because of many things, like the fact that I already started calling him number 15 and the date was so damn perfect for that. Besides, we do love strawberry! But that's not the point. I couldn't get the characters of the name out of my head! (he's talking about the characters of Kurosaki Ichigo's name 黒崎 一護 from Bleach) Blame my avid Jump reader heart. Besides, it means a lot cooler."

"I can't believe you! Toshi would agree with you so much on that, but I'm not joining in with your otaku goals!"

"What? You seriously expected me to write 苺? Are you an idiot? My son is not a girl. Besides, he's our firstborn. It reads as Ichigo too, so it's no big deal. I'll use 苺 (strawberry) once I get a daughter." because that's a feminine name of course. 

"You're seriously thinking of getting a daughter?! Get one with that ninja stalker!"

"So you actually saw that New Year card?" and Gintoki thought he got rid of it on time. 

"It doesn't matter! I won't let you name another of my kid Ichigo, you idiot!"

"So it's okay if it's Mayonnaise?" oh bless the poor girl. 

"Shut up! We're not discussing this! I just gave birth, you idiot." Hijikata wanted to end it there, but there's just one more thing. "...And the family name?" He was half expecting Gintoki to stubbornly name him Sakata Ichigo, but the perm head was surprisingly true to his word. 

"The baby will be under your custody until you accept my marriage proposal, so until then, he'll have your family name. Once we're married, he'll be Sakata Ichigo and— oh. You—you'll be Sakata Toshiro," Gintoki covered his blush with the palm of his hand. He didn't think that ahead, but he just realized how he liked that name already. That's it. He's definitely gonna make Hijikata marry him. 

Hijikata choked on his own saliva and shared equally dark shade of red on his face. What the heck??   
"What are you talking about?! We can't get married, idiot! We're both men! Why would I take your last name, huh?!"

"Is that the only thing stopping you? Seriously? Kondo-san got married to an actual gorilla and they won't let me marry you?"

"That's different! I don't see why I have to take your last name." 

"And what do you want to happen here? We exchange last names? That wouldn't make any sense. You take the female role since you're the mother of my child here,"

"You shameless—! Shut up! As if that's going to happen!"

"This is Gintama, Hijikata-kun. Anything can happen,"

"Uh, this is a fanfiction, Gin-san," Shinpachi corrected. Oh, again they forgot he existed. 

"Stop breaking the fourth wall!"

.  
.  
.

 

 

Day 6 of Namaye's Detention... 

She still reuses to talk. Sougo even tried bribing her with mayonnaise after starving her for three days. It _almost_ worked, but Namaye remained stubborn. Sougo resorted to putting drugs into her food and drinks to make her talk, but she immediately recognized them and refused to eat. She did mention that she's a doctor, but he didn't expect her to be this sharp even with drugs. What field in medicine is she major in anyway? She can't be that jack of all trades— oh. That sounds a lot like the yorozuya in a professional way, doesn't it? 

"Give it up, Namaye-san. I'll be forced to use drugs on you forcibly if you still play hard to get,"

"What's stopping you then?"

"Well, I don't want to accidentally break you permanently if I can help it," Sougo shrugged. 

"I'm still not out of options here, Okita-san," Namaye said. 

"What's your final card then? Takasugi? You're a smart girl, Namaye-san. We both know why you still haven't resorted to him even up to this point. You'll ruin everything you've been building up all this time. If you want me to shut my mouth, it's either you kill me or convince me to work with you,"

"I can ask them to drug you to mess up your memory too," Namaye said, which is possible as well. 

"That won't assure you the probability of me not sending everything I know to Hijikata-san and Danna."

"Yeah right," she scoffed. 

"I bet you already have an idea of what happened, but I can tell you still wanna know what's happening outside this prison cell," Sougo said, thinking that this might help convince her. "Danna named Ju-yon (meaning 14 or a.k.a Assassin Number 14) Hijikata Ichigo. Did we stick to the time frame? I'm not sure if he's still going to name him Ichigo if he's born in a different day."

Namaye didn't reply, but seeing that she's not all that surprised confirms that it's consistent with her own time. 

"Did he grow up into a healthy young man or did I successfully turn him into a professional assassin?" Sougo asked, mostly serious about the latter. 

"You didn't have enough time for that. Despite the fact that he's your favorite for a time, you had someone else to train into a fine fighter and an asshole at the same time,"

"Someone else?" Sougo didn't expect her to answer that one. 

"Yup, if I don't mess up, you'd still be able to meet him," Namaye stood up then walked towards the door. "Okay, you're right. I'll tell you everything if you hand me over the parasite that was recovered from Hijikata-san."

Sougo smirked in victory. That wouldn't be hard at all. He already collected that one including some important files from Yamada. He didn't trust anyone enough so he did it himself. "Consider it yours then."  
.  
.  
.  
.

 

After a week of staying in the hospital, Hijikata finally got discharged and Gintoki was partly worried that Hijikata considered moving back to the barracks like the original plan he's been lamenting on. He was too relieved when Hijikata went back home with him without questions or whatsoever. Gintoki then took the crib he made himself, surprising Hijikata. Hijikata didn't know Gintoki made one. He was thinking that he can just buy something easily, but something Gintoki made himself was a lot more personalized and sentimental. Hijikata appreciated it a lot without saying it, and the perm head didn't need words. The look on Hijikata's face said enough. 

Otose came as well and gave baby toys that they can attach to the crib and also some baby clothes. She's the one who's been keeping the crib hidden downstairs of course. The Shinsengumi paid a visit as well with a lot of gifts for Ichigo and Hijikata. Sougo gave him a strawberry plush, making Hijikata think that Sougo actually likes giving things like this (like the pig plush he gave to China). Kondo gave Gintoki the pictures he took in the hospital and Gintoki highly appreciated that. The look on their faces was priceless. 

With the crib inside the room as well, Gintoki had an excuse for setting up one futon, though it's bigger, and obviously not a single futon. Hijikata noticed that it's new too. 

"What's this?" Hijikata asked, drying his damp hair with a towel since he just got finished taking a shower. 

Gintoki was shamelessly staring while trying to answer him with Ichigo in his arms. "Uh, a suspicious wig (Katsura) was really thoughtful that he bought us a new one. I was just thinking how perfect the timing is since you'll have to sleep with me from now on too," the eerie look on Gintoki's face was giving Hijikata suspicions.

"Define _sleep_ ," Hijikata narrowed his eyes. 

"Oh you know, closing your eyes and feel...good? Like relax—so it won't—"

"Don't make it a lot more suspicious oi!"

"Oh come on. Gin-san is not gonna jump on you if you don't want me to," Gintoki scoffed, avoiding eye contact at all cost. 

"Ah really? how should that be reassuring?" Hijikata crossed his arms. 

"Because it doesn't mean that I don't want to," yup, a perfect way of saying _I won't jump on you, but I actually want to if you just let me_.

"Where's the reassurance in that?! You're making it worse!" Hijikata suddenly felt more alarmed at that. 

"I'm not reassuring you. I'm warning you not to seduce me or else I might just jump on you,"

"So you're saying it's going to be my fault??" Hijikata hissed, not wanting to yell because of the baby.

"Shh. I just put him to sleep," Gintoki started rocking the baby in his arms again when he stirred because of the yelling. They should really start being quiet from now on. 

They immediately went to sleep then. It was completely platonic to Gintoki's disappointment. Hijikata didn't get that much sleep because Ichigo often cried and Hijikata had to get up and rock him back to sleep. They ended up tucking him in bed together with them. Since the baby seemed like he hates being left alone in the crib. 

When morning came, Gintoki woke up late for the first time in a long time. He was awoken by Shinpachi this time and for a second there, it seemed like everything was back to how it used to be before the entire parasite thing happened. Well, that's until he noticed the crib right next to the futon and the empty space right next to him. Perhaps Hijikata was back on being an early bird and got up early. Wait, did he go to work? Already? 

 

"Gin-san, Ketsuno Ana is on," Shinpachi called out. 

"Tell her I'm so sorry, Patsuan." Gintoki groaned, just starting to get up.

"Ha?"

"Tell Ketsuno Ana I actually found another ketsu no ana,"  
(Ketsuno Ana = Weather girl/Gintoki's crush  
Ketsu no ana = literally means **asshole** )

 

"As if she'd notice, Gin-san,"

"Oi! Don't make it sound like she doesn't even know I exist!"

"Why are you so noisy?" Hijikata said, carrying the baby in his arms while trying to read reports. 

"Ohayo Hijikata-kun~~" Gintoki said, hugging him from the behind and nuzzling on the crook of his neck, tickling Hijikata with his perm unintentionally. 

"Hey—"

"Ohayo Ichigo~" He then lifted his head and pressed a kiss on the baby's forehead. 

"Ew, Gin-chan! That's so gross! We're here too, you idiot!" Kagura complained. 

"Eh? Did you hear something, Ichigo-chan? You didn't? I guess I didn't too," Gintoki said to the clueless newborn who just stared at him with his dark blue orbs just like Hijikata's (though the way he stares is just like Gintoki's dead eyes). 

"You're not like this in baby strife arc! This is so much weirder! I demand that kind of Gin-chan back!"

"Well, flash report. This one right here is my actual flesh and blood, and I'm still trying to win over this mayora,"

"Don't say it out loud like that!" Hijikata hissed. 

"Abunai aru!" Kagura suddenly pushed Gintoki away from Hijikata and the baby (With her yato strength, Gintoki flew away) and spread her arms as if she's trying to guard them from Gintoki. "Stay away from I-chan! Just look at what you did! He's starting to give the same dead fish eyes!"

"HA?? He just had my eyes, you damn brat!"

Kagura gasped exaggeratedly and covered the baby's ears dramatically. "Mind your language, Gin-chan! This is why I-chan shouldn't grow up with such a bad example."

"Oi, the mayora has a foul language too!"

"Well, he's exempted because I-chan needs his milk."

"That's so unfair! What about me huh?"

"Gin-san, we have a job today, remember? You should get ready for that," Shinpachi reminded him.

"But—"

"We're going to be fine, you know." Hijikata said. "I'm not going anywhere, if that makes you feel better." Hijikata scoffed. Well, that did make Gintoki feel better. He's actually worried Hijikata won't be there when he comes back. 

With that, he left for work together with the kids after an hour. With so much determination to get home early, they finished the job a lot faster than expected. The last time he went into a job and left Hijikata at home, Hijikata was rushed to the hospital. Well, he didn't know what to expect this time. 

When he went upstairs, a note was attached to the door. Apparently, it's from Hijikata who wanted to let Gintoki know that he's downstairs with Otose in the Snack Smile. Gintoki already knew that the old woman is very fond of children since she never had the chance to have one. When Otose was visiting in the hospital, she taught Hijikata a lot about taking care of the baby from the proper way of holding to making him burp, changing diapers, bathing, and things Hijikata was yet to do. It's no wonder Hijikata is likely to hang around the Snack Smile. 

He went downstairs and he didn't expect that he'd hate the sight he would see so much. Sakata Kintoki is in the Snack Smile talking with Hijikata while Otose is playing with the baby. 

"Have you tried that one?"

"Uh, no. Not really," Hijikata looks awkward being left alone with Kintoki. "I can't drink. I'm breastfeeding the baby."

"You are? That's fascinating, Hijikata-san," Kintoki flashed another charming smile. "It must be hard for you then. You'll have to take care of the baby. You'll have to work soon and all too.. Or are you considering of resigning to take care of the baby?"

"I can't do that. The Shinsengumi is going to be like a headless chicken without me keeping them upright,"

"That's one of the things I admire about you, Hijikata-san. You—"

"You're quite bold for seducing someone else's man right in his own territory, Kintoki," Gintoki said, slinging an arm around Hijikata's shoulder. 

"My, Gintoki. We're just having a nice little chat here." Kintoki smiled, quite menacing compared to the smile he gives off around Hijikata. "No need to look like a kid throwing tantrums because his candy was stolen,"

"Ah? What did you just say, Golden boy?"

"Gintoki, quit it!" Hijikata hissed. 

Gintoki met his eyes and they held a tight 5 seconds staring contest until Gintoki called out to Otose without leaving Hijikata's gaze. "Old hag, I'm picking them up."

"Ah? You can stay a bit longer. You can drink something," Oh? Free booze. That's rare coming from Otose. Gintoki wouldn't refuse that.

"Nah, we're going home," Gintoki refused, making Otose raise an eyebrow at that. He narrowed his eyes on Hijikata and said, "That includes you,"

Observing the scene unfold before them, the yorozuya kids and the people in the Snack Smile remained silent as Gintoki left with the baby and Hijikata reluctantly followed. 

"Gin-cha—" Kagura was about to go after them when Otose grabbed her shoulder before she can dash off. 

"You'll get into the crossfire if you're not careful," Otose said, lighting up a cigarette since the baby is no longer there. "That bum is stubborn when he's sulking. Well, sulking is actually better than them fighting. Let those two childish adults be for a while."

Apparently, Otose is right. Outside, the two are still arguing while they're on their way upstairs. Obviously, Gintoki still wasn't very cool about it. 

"Can't you get a clue? I hate having that golden boy around, especially around you!"

"Kintoki was just visiting Tama and I just happened to be there with Ichigo to chat with Otose-san a bit. He's not looking for trouble here, Gintoki. Quit it,"

"He's clearly looking for trouble when hitting on you,"

"He's not hitting on me!" Hijikata strongly claimed. The dense little idiot seriously. 

"Listen here, Hijikata-kun. I know it will be hard for your dense little brain to see someone hitting on you especially when it's not a cabaret girl who's nudging her breasts on your arms and calling you Hijikata-han, but that look right there and what he's trying to do was obviously hitting on you! Have you seen the way he looks at you? The conversation pattern?"

"He's a robot, Gintoki." Hijikata deadpanned. Well, that's the real reason why he didn't take Kintoki's advances seriously. 

"Well yeah. A robot who once stole my entire identity in the series and now, he's trying to steal—" He can't finish that sentence. As much as he wants to claim Hijikata his, he still can't. "Forget it."

"Gintoki," the perm head ignored him and they quietly went the rest of the way upstairs with Ichigo in his arms. 

Hijikata doesn't know why he suddenly felt bad about that. The expression on Gintoki's face earlier didn't need words to explain. What the hell? He's supposed to be the one angry here! He gave it more thought and perhaps, he actually understood where the sulking perm head is coming from. 

They made it inside and the dead weight of silence and heavy atmosphere of the tension was killing Hijikata. _"What does he want me to do?! Was that seriously my fault?!"_ Hijikata wanted to slam his head against the concrete so badly. What's the perm head's deal??? 

The minutes dragged on and the yorozuya kids still didn't decide to come upstairs. Perhaps that's better. They'll just notice how wrong everything feels and Hijikata doesn't have a real answer to that. It's weird being in the same room and pretending like the other doesn't exist. Ah, wrong. Saying that it's weird is an understatement. The word should be awful. Gintoki was just lying on the couch while watching TV with Ichigo on his chest and Hijikata was idly scanning paper works. Another minute passed and Hijikata ran out of excuse to keep himself occupied in order to forget the fact that Gintoki is sulking. 

"GINTOKI!" Hijikata snapped. Gintoki jolted with the sudden outburst and at the same time, the observant ears downstairs came to full attention. 

"Keep it down. Ichigo was about to sleep," Gintoki said. "I'm not deaf."

"Gintoki," Hijikata repeated with a defeated tone this this time. "If that was really my fault, I'm sorry, okay?" 

Okay, that just didn't sound right all. As much as Gintoki liked the fact that Hijikata is trying to reach out to make him feel better, what happened was not Hijikata's fault. It's also not his fault that Gintoki felt like that. It's not. The perm head sighed and turned to face Hijikata.

"It's not your fault," Gintoki said. 

"Then why are you being like that?"

"I just wanna lay around and do nothing. I'm tired," Gintoki reasoned out. 

"Then give Ichigo to me. I'll put him to his crib so you can rest," Hijikata sighed then stood up. He won't press it on if he doesn't want to talk about it. He walked towards the couch and was about to get Ichigo when Gintoki took his hand instead. 

"Hijikata, when are you going to be mine?" Gintoki asked, meeting his eyes. "It sucks to feel like I don't really have a claim on you."

_"Is he an idiot? Do I really have to say that?!"_ Hijikata thought. He retracted his hand gently out of Gintoki's grasp to get the baby. Gintoki was disheartened with the loss, but then, Hijikata said as he leaned in, "And you said I'm the dense one. I thought you already got the clue," Hijikata leaned in deeper and pressed their lips together. It was a chaste kiss, innocent and gentle. It was slow, yet fast that Gintoki didn't have the chance to kiss back because it was over as soon as it started. 

Gintoki stared at Hijikata as he retracted himself and went back to taking Ichigo. Nope, that wasn't enough. Gintoki clearly didn't have enough. The perm head pulled Hijikata back close and secured the baby with his other arm at the same time. 

"I thought I said you owe me a **real** kiss," this time, Gintoki took the lead and pulled Hijikata closer. 

He claimed the lips and hungrily sought for more. Hijikata was completely still for a moment, and Gintoki gripped his hair to summon him back to his senses. To Gintoki's relief, Hijikata finally started kissing back, and for a man with no experience, he's quite a good kisser. Gintoki is starting to seriously doubt that claim now. He'd hate to imagine that Hijikata have kissed others before. The mere thought lit something up inside Gintoki and bit Hijikata's lower lip. The mayora was about to voice out his protest to the action but then his reaction just gave Gintoki a chance to invade his mouth with his tongue. The kiss went deeper and more sensual at that point. Hijikata learned fast it's so addictive. 

They broke the kiss with their lungs demanding oxygen. While staring right at each other's eyes, they caught their breath. Gintoki smiled with satisfaction at the look of Hijikata's flushed face, and knowing that he made that mess on the mayora's usually schooled demeanor. The thought of doing more than kissing ang making that face undone seriously made him excited.

His hand from the back of Hijikata's neck slid down suggestively to his hips and pulled him closer, Hijikata glared at that. 

"Seriously? You had your fill already," Hijikata grew redder. 

"Then you have no idea how thirsty I am," Gintoki smirked at that. 

"No, and I don't wanna find out. Come here Ichigo," Hijikata took Ichigo from Gintoki. Seriously, what were they thinking making out with the baby just on Gintoki's chest? Hijikata berated himself and tucked the baby in his arms. 

 

"Aaaah just when I finally have you. You have no idea how frustrated—!" Hijikata didn't let Gintoki finish that.

"S—shut up! Go away, I'm going to breastfeed!" Hijikata took the baby inside the bedroom. 

"Why do I have to go away? I've seen you breastfeed like a lot already. No need to be so shy, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki said, following Hijikata inside. 

"Who's being shy, you bastard?! I'm not being shy about it! It's just that you're staring at me so weirdly whenever I do!"

"Ha? Is that my fault that you look so lewd—"

"Who's lewd?! I'll freaking killing you!"

"Hijikata-kun..." Gintoki suddenly feel awfully serious that it's suspicious. "You're really sensitive, aren't you?" Gintoki asked, his face too close to Hijikata's own liking. 

"Get away from me you—"

"Uwaaaah!!!" and Ichigo began crying. 

"Shhh I got you, I got you. Look what you did, idiot!" Hijikata hissed. 

"Me?? Why me?"

"Ah, get out. He's hungry," Hijikata said, though he knew Gintoki really doesn't want to. 

"Why do I have to get out??"

"Because I don't like you staring! Out out out!" Hijikata pushed him outside the room and slid the door shut at Gintoki's face. 

Aaah, can Hijikata really blame him?! Hijikata may not be aware since he doesn't want to breastfeed around others as well, but Gintoki doesn't allow anyone else observe Hijikata while breastfeeding. The idiot doesn't have an idea about the face he's giving! It's no joke that Gintoki hard to deal with his hard on in a damn hospital toilet the first time he saw Hijikata breastfeed! And damn, the pink perky nipples are making it worse. Is he trying to seduce Gintoki?? Well congratulations, because it's freaking working.

Gintoki splashed water on his face. "Aaah get it together, Gintoki."

"Hijikata-saaaan? Dannaaaaa?" Of course Sougo just had to pick the perfect moment to barge in. 

 

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming," Gintoki scratched his head and slid the front door open, revealing the expected sadist and the unexpected girl who calls herself Namaye. Wanna hear what's more unexpected? The collar around Namaye's neck that is attached to a leash that Sougo is holding. Add a very unamused Namaye to boot. 

"Okita-kun?" Gintoki said, utterly confused. "Care to explain why I should let your S & M play in my household?"

"Because I need to see Hijikata-san, Danna." Sougo barged right in as usual. 

"Nope, you can't right now," Gintoki immediately pulled him away from the door to their bedroom. 

"Why?"

"Because he's changing," Gintoki answered, and Sougo didn't buy that the slightest. It shouldn't matter if that's the case because he's seen Hijikata naked like a lot already in the public baths. You can also count the times he sneaked inside Hijikata's room to execute his mischievous attempts of Hijikata's life. 

"He's breastfeeding, isn't he?" Sougo deadpanned. 

"How did you—"

"Well, the first time you saw him breastfeed, you—" Sougo didn't get to finish what he's about to say with Gintoki's hand clasping over his mouth with urgency. And here they thought he already disregarded his shame. 

"He'll get out after a while okay? Wait for a damn minute or two!" Gintoki said, pushing Sougo to the red couch in the living room. Finally, Sougo complied and sat on the couch with a very unamused Namaye. Okay, what's going on? 

"She's obviously not a masochist, Okita-kun. She doesn't appreciate this S&M play. The look on her face is just as predatorial as yours. What's this?" Gintoki asked. 

"Oh, this? I just wanted to walk my dog, Danna. Don't mind this," Sougo said. 

"Who's your dog hah?!" Namaye yelled, absolutely pissed. 

"Oh~~ you bark just like Hijikata-san," Sougo mused. Well, Sougo wasn't wrong there. Hijikata had the same bark when Sougo did the same to him. 

"What's with the too much noise?" Hijikata finally stepped into the living room with the baby in his arms. 

"Ah, my little Ju-yon," Sougo then stood up to greet the baby and Namaye rolled her eyes at that. 

Albeit reluctantly, Hijikata let Sougo carry the baby with caution. The sadist was not really fond of children, that's what Hijikata thinks. Well, perhaps Sougo is really up for his plan to train the child into an excellent mankiller. 

"So, why are you here?" Hijikata asked and sat on the opposite couch with Gintoki beside him.

"I found this girl responsible for your sudden arranged marriage," Sougo said nonchalantly, more of his attention on the baby. 

Gintoki wasn't as surprised as Hijikata was. He already knew after all. Hijikata on the other hand didn't see why Namaye would do that. She just closed her eyes with brows furrowed in irritation. What's this girl's deal? 

"Care to explain?" Hijikata glared.

"She won't talk. I've had her in detention since you're still in the hospital and I took various measures to make her talk. I even deprived her of mayonnaise, but apparently, it's not working," Sougo explained. 

"Is walking her around with a collar part of your _various measures_?" Hijikata asked with a twitching brow while Gintoki chose to overlook that one while trying to fish his booger out of his nose. 

"No, I did this just for fun," Sougo replied, earning a growl from Namaye. "For a trivial matter, detaining her would be too much, don't you think? We're just being extra cautious because she's working with Takasugi, so we can't let her run lose," 

"So literally putting her on leash is your solution?" Hijikata raised an eyebrow at that.

"That's not a bad suggestion, but nope. I think we should have her under house arrest," Sougo said, Hijikata is starting to hate where this is going. "You'll have to be the one who should keep an eye on her of course. She easily outsmarts Yamazaki, and I'm a busy guy."

"What busy guy are you talking about?!" Hijikata hissed. The emotion was effectively relayed even without raising his voice. He started to adjust for the baby of course. "I've got my hands full as well, bastard! I even had to think twice about leaving Ichigo for work, and now you want me to keep an eye 24/7 on her?" Wow, Gintoki was amused with his reaction. Hijikata doesn't usually complain about more work. He's too committed to complain. It's really different with a baby huh. 

"Well, I've got my hands full with _your_ work and handling her for the past few days. It's just fair, don't you think?" Sougo shrugged. "I've got a feeling she won't be running much if she's here. Oh, Ju-yon fell asleep." Sougo's attention was back to the baby again. 

Hijikata crossed his arms and kept his glare for another minute then concluded it with a sigh. "Fine. For how long do you intend to do this?"

"Until she talks, I think," great. How long is that gonna take? 

"Is she staying here?" Gintoki can't help but ask this is still his house too.

"Oh. I think she —"

"I need to go to my lab," Namaye demanded to Sougo. "You can just lock the whole place up. I don't care. I need to stay there and have an actual progress,"

"You better talk then," Hijikata said, "You can only go there with my permission. If there's nothing in it for us, then you can forget going there altogether."

"But—"

"No excuses. You're going to be under my rules, and I won't compromise unless you will as well. Am I understood?"

Namaye's face was full of conviction while Hijikata's features had no room for exemptions. She couldn't fight that. Instead, she turned to Sougo to demand him to do something, but the sadist was too busy playing with the sleeping baby in his arms. She's completely out of words. 

"I need extra budget for her living expenses," Gintoki suddenly demanded. Great. Now she has no way out. 

 

Before Sougo left, Hijikata tucked Ichigo away and put him in his crib and Gintoki went with him. That gave Sougo a chance to talk alone with Namaye at the front door. 

"This is not what we agreed on," Namaye growled. "What the hell are you thinking?"

"Giving you a favor. You mentioned something about a _not so one big happy family_ before and that started to make sense now. Go ahead and experience it while it lasts..or until you destroy it. We'll see how you'll find Hijikata-san. As I can see, he already has you tied around his little finger. I wonder if that's just genetics,"

"I doubt that," Namaye glared with her arms crossed. 

"Whatever you say, doc. I'm not totally into your idea, but maybe you can have better judgement after staying with them," Sougo shrugged and waved his hand lazily as he went on his way out. 

 

 

**6 hours earlier....**

 

"You got what you need, so who are you exactly?" Sougo asked after he handed the thing Namaye demanded for. Namaye examined it for a while, and after confirming that it's the real deal, she met his eyes. 

"Someone who also goes by the family name Sakata," Namaye replied. So that's why she's weird about being called Hijikata. Well, that's still confusing to Sougo.

"Are you saying Danna married you? So he married someone who looks like Hijikata-san because Hijikata-san is dead? Gosh, I knew Danna was into young ones," Sougo said whioe shaking his head with disappointment. 

"Are you an idiot?! Ah, I actually know that only an idiot would think that I married him!"

"Then who are you? You're obviously not Ju-yon,"

"Of course, genius. Do I look like I have a raven perm and a dick? Well obviously, I'm not him, and I never said I'm their first born. Aniki takes pride on that." Namaye said with arms crossed. 

Then it suddenly became clear to Sougo. Damn it. He didn't see that one coming.   
"Are you telling me that you're Ju-yon's little sister?"

"Not so little anymore, but yeah," Namaye said, "I'm someone who shouldn't exist in the first place."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the asshole pun, I felt like I already read that somewhere. I can't get it out of my mind. If you guys did too, tell me where 'coz I really can't remember.   
> Anyway, how did it go with your theories?


	22. At Least Recognize Your Own Masterpiece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things should be starting to heat up and Gintoki had no idea. While a problem shall reoccur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuuhh, I was thinking I should really update the rating, but I dunno how to rate really. Uh, do I have _really_ young readers?

Gintoki woke up with a dull headache. It's not the first reason that made him get up though. He was alone in the bed and it's still...too early. His body clock said so. He rolled to his left and checked the justaway clock. 7:06 am. Yup, too early. Where is Hijikata? He forced himself to get up and checked on Ichigo. The baby was still sound asleep. Perhaps they have the same body clock or babies just sleep more. 

What's up with the hangover? Oh, right. He went out to drink with Madao last night. He scratched his head and tried to recall what happened after drinking his ass off. He didn't remember going to bed. Probably Hijikata picked his sorry ass in some pile trash or the bar itself. Yup, that's what probably happened. He drunk too much. He can't remember. 

He went to the prepare something to drink and ease away his hangover and he noticed that Kagura was gone too. Right, Hijikata and his uptight morning schedule. How did he manage to convince Kagura to wake up so early? Where did they go? Even that Namaye was is not—

"Oh, you're up," Namaye said, emerging from the bathroom. She's wearing the clothes Hijikata got for her yesterday. Is she going somewhere? She looked like she's preparing to leave. 

"And this is what they call house arrest? You look totally free," Gintoki commented. By the looks of it, she could've left when Gintoki was catching Zs. 

"They had me this," Namaye showed the collar that Sougo put around her neck. "This was programmed to release an electric shock if I leave the house."

"Oh." so that sadist wasn't doing it all for amusement. 

Namaye disappeared into the closet after taking Gintoki's Jump and secluded herself inside. Gintoki shrugged it off (he was done reading that yesterday anyway) and made himself tea to ease his hangover when he heard the front door open. Sure enough, it was Hijikata covered in sweat. Looks like he just got back from a marathon. 

"Gintoki," He looked up after taking off his shoes. 

"Where were you? It's like... too early in the morning." Gintoki said, not sure of the time anymore. 

"I went for a jog. I need to exercise to go back into shape," Hijikata replied, and with just a slight turn, Gintoki noticed a bandage patch on Hijikata's neck. 

"Did getting back into shape get you injured?" Gintoki raised a brow.

"Ha?" Gintoki then gestured the bandages, "Oh, uh it's just a small injury I got the other day,"

"What other day? That wasn't there yesterday. You were totally fine. Well... Not that I remembered checking on you last night. I was too piss drunk."

"Uh, I got it last night I guess," Hijikata shrugged. 

"What? Where have you been then? How did you get it? I thought you're not really back on field yet. You said you'll just be in the barracks." Gintoki can't help but ask. It doesn't make sense to him. 

"I was. I uhh... Might've been a little careless when I was trying to stay alive from Sougo's petty attempt at having me dead." Hijikata said, finally, something convincing enough for Gintoki.

"Oh, he's back on that business, huh," Gintoki shrugged. "Let me see what he did this time," Gintoki reached out to check the injury but Hijikata flinched off his touch and leaned away. 

"Ah, no. You don't have to. I'm fine. I already patched it up," Hijikata said in defense. 

"Oookay?" Albeit reluctantly, Gintoki let it off. 

The morning went on like usual and after they bathed Ichigo, (Hijikata still needed help on that) Sougo came as requested by Hijikata. Earlier that day, Namaye requested them to allow her to go to her lab. As compensation, she'll talk, but only to Sougo. She's thinking it will be up to Sougo what he'd tell them. She really needs to have that parasite looked at. Now, Sougo was requested to take Namaye to her little laboratory and Hijikata shall follow suit so Sougo can go to his usual patrols. 

"You better pay for taking my nap time away from me, Hijikata-san," Sougo mumbled his disagreement to the entire ordeal. 

"I know you skip work while I'm not looking, so make yourself useful," Hijikata said. Sougo just clicked his tongue on that. 

 

"You shouldn't go overboard causing injuries like that to him, Okita-kun. Ichigo still needs him alive and healthy you know." Gintoki said, remembering the injury. 

"Ha? What injury are you talking about, Danna?" Sougo asked, genuinely clueless this time. Though anyone wouldn't find that genuine. 

"The injury he got from one of your assassination attempts again last night. His nape and shoulder was covered with patches, you know," Gintoki explained.

At first, Sougo was utterly confused. How did putting laxative in his mayonnaise injure Hijikata in those areas? He then saw the panic in Hijikata's face, giving off all the non-verbal signals for him to shut up or play along. That's when he understood and grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Oooh that mark. Ah, sorry about that, Hijikata-san. I was a bit too rough on you last night." Sougo drawled. 

_"The bastard!"_ Hijikata brimmed with anger.

"Mark? What mark?" Gintoki glanced at the two. 

"Oh, nothing, Danna. Just the mark I left on Hijikata-san last night," Sougo said nonchalantly with his foreboding smile. "Anyway, I should be going. You should follow to take my shift in babysitting this girl in her little playground."

 

Cold sweat is running down Hijikata's temple. Sougo left with Namaye who gave a worried glance at the two before making it outside. Why wouldn't she? Gintoki was eerily still and silent. 

 

"Hijikata-kuuun," Gintoki drawled, giving off a negative ambiance. "Let me see the _mark_ Okita-kun left on you last night,"

"It was nothing! That brat was lying!" Hijikata slowly started to step back as Gintoki started stepping closer to him. 

"Why are you hiding it from me then, hah?!" 

"It's normal to patch up injuries, dumbass!"

"You wouldn't have to hide normal injuries, you idiot! Let me see!" and it suddenly turned into a childish chase with two determined idiots. "Don't make this any harder, Hijikata!"

"You better stop then! We don't have all day!"

"Then just let me catch you, idiot!"

"Why the hell would I?!"

In the end, Hijikata got caught and the bandage covering his neck was ripped open, revealing a fresh yet deep and ugly bitemark on his nape. Hijikata froze as Gintoki went stiff as well. Crap. Now the perm head will—

"Are you seriously cheating on me with that sadist, you bastard?!" Gintoki grabbed him by the collar and Hijikata mirrored his frown immediately.

"I told you, he's just—"

"Oh yeah? I can see the dark traces of his bite mark right here! Who would you blame this on huh? Sadaharu?!" Gintoki paused and remembered there's also a bandage on his shoulder, so he also tore it open. Saying that Gintoki is angry is an understatement. He's absolutely enraged with the sight of hickeys covering the back of Hijikata's shoulder.

_"Ah, sorry about that, Hijikata-san. I was a bit too rough on you last night."_

_"Oh, nothing, Danna. Just the mark I left on Hijikata-san last night,"_

 

Fuck. 

Gintoki suddenly pushed Hijikata briskly and headed for the front door with seething rage. Oh no. He's definitely going to—— Nonononono Hijikata immediately went after him and stopped Gintoki just before he can make it to the door. 

"Gintoki! It's not what you think, okay?"

"Ah I see," Gintoki responded monotonously and suddenly he pushed Hijikata to the wall and pinned him there with eyes sharp enough to kill. With his arm keeping Hijikata pressed on the wall, he leaned in close to his face. "What should I think, Hijikata?" 

"Listen, he's just joking, okay? Last night—"

"Do I look like I can take a joke right now, Hijikata?!" Gintoki exclaimed with his fist colliding through the wall just inches away from Hijikata's face. Hijikata closed his eyes, holding in his anger (he shouldn't fight fire with fire if Gintoki is being like this), and Gintoki is at a loss of what to do, but when he saw the kissmarks again, he suddenly felt like someone else marked his own territory. Enraged, he bit the spot to overwrite the mark. 

"Ah—! Oi! Ginto—gh..."

Satisfied with the result, Gintoki slowly lifted his head and met Hijikata's eyes. "I'm sorry you have to see this, but I'm never the type to share what's mine."

"As I said, Sougo was lying! He didn't do this!"

"Then who did? Sadaharu? Kagura? Shinpachi? Kondo-san?" Hijikata's face contorted with ridicule at that. "What the hell?! I knew you've been very devoted to that gorilla, but seriously—"

"Can you at least recognize your own works, you bastard?!"  
....  
..  
..  
..  
Ha? 

 

 

.  
.

**What actually happened that night...**

 

Kagura was already asleep and Namaye was trying to make herself comfortable in the lower bunk of Kagura's closet room. Good thing she's not really tall to begin with. Hijikata just came out from the toilet because the damn Sougo decided to put laxative in his mayonnaise. Damn it. He took the alcohol and disinfected his hands even after washing them. After that toilet hygiene episode with Kumanaku, he refused to hold Ichigo with such hands. He always made sure he's perfectly clean. 

He wasn't expecting Gintoki to be home early since he already said he'll be out drinking with Hasegawa tonight to celebrate his new job. Hijikata knew that Gintoki didn't want to go without his permission, since the last time he went out drinking, Hijikata left. Hijikata reassured him that it's fine and he'll be in the barracks most of the time of the day anyway. He'll be back in field and the patrols soon enough too. 

"That idiot better not be sleeping in a pile of trash," Hijikata thought before he drifted into his slumber. 

It was one in the morning when Gintoki managed to drag his drunken ass back home. The room was quite. Of course, because everyone was already asleep, but Gintoki's drunken senses couldn't help but think that Hijikata must've left again. He immediately went to the bedroom after removing his boots. To his relief, Hijikata was there asleep and Ichigo too. He checked on the baby in his crib and saw the peacefully asleep angel (he's still an angel until he grows up into something you can imagine). 

He sighed in relief and crawled his way to their bed. "Hiiijikaaaata-kuuuuun," wrapped his arms around the sleeping Hijikata. He's basically spooning and is it just the alcohol or Hijikata's smell was extra intoxicating? He buried his nose into Hijikata's hair and inhaled deeply. Oh. This is definitely Hijikata alright. He can now smell the faint hint of mayonnaise again. The smell Hijikata usually has aside from the cigarettes. He said he can't smoke if he's breastfeeding. Hijikata sacrificed a lot for the baby huh. Gintoki appreciated that...alot. 

"Ugh, Gintoki, at least go change. You stink with puke and booze," the little spoon grumbled. Oh, Hijikata got awoken by that. 

"Yeah yeah. Sorry," Gintoki maneuvered himself to change clothes, but when he only managed to be half naked, he already decided to go back to spooning. 

Hijikata immediately noticed the lack of clothing and groaned, "Uh come on, put your pajamas on."

"Tired," the only word Gintoki can muster while busy nuzzling the crook of his mayora's neck. "mmh you smell nice, Hijikata-kun," how drunk is this idiot? 

"If you're tired, go to sleep and—" Hijikata took a sharp breath in, sensing something really weird about the perm head's touches. "—stop that!" he hissed, not wanting to wake anyone up. 

"Stop what?" Gintoki whispered on his ear, sending chills on Hijikata's spine. Now this is definitely not gonna be easy. 

"Don't talk so close to my ear— hey!" What the hell?! He can feel something poking him from behind! "That better be not what I think it is, asshole!" Hijikata hissed. 

"That's just my knee."

"Your knee alright," Hijikata rolled his eyes. He was about to escape when the perm head decided to make his hand wander while the other is keeping his hip to press that _"knee"_ on his ass. 

"Gintoki, how wasted are you?" Hijikata groaned. 

"Mmmmh dunno,"

Gintoki's hands started to snake up and down, exploring Hijikata's body. Hijikata gritted his teeth and held his responses. The yorozuya boss's hand is now mapping his chest down to his abdomen and finally decided to squeeze his breasts which were usually with pectoral muscles but now also the baby's milk supply. Crap, the jerk was then playing with his nipples. He has no idea how that made Hijikata a whimpering mess, he had to cover his mouth. Oh shit. Hijikata actually thinks the bastard knows which buttons to press. Gintoki is definitely enjoying this, isn't he?! 

"You're really sensitive, Hijikata-kun." Hijikata never realized how damn accurate that was up to this point. He can clearly hear his shirt eating grin from that deep voice. "You have no idea...how long I've wanted to do this,"

"G—Gintoki, there are kids in the house. We shouldn't really do this now," Hijikata tried to reason with him. 

"Mmmh better keep quiet so we won't get caught then," the drunken idiot replied and before Hijikata can voice out his disagreement on that, the perm head immediately covered his mouth with his. The kiss was sloppy and too wet at first with the idiot doing it on his drunken stupor and the other idiot protesting towards the action. Not long, Hijikata gave in to the kiss and it deepened, exploring each others mouth. Hijikata can definitely taste the booze the perm head just drowned himself with and an unmistakable hint of sweets. 

Gintoki's hand went on with fondling his nipples and Hijikata moaned into the kiss, not being able to hold his responses anymore. That was a really good sound to Gintoki's ears, and he's determined to hear more. 

 

"Hijikata-san?"

Oh shit. Namaye? She's awake! The sliding door to their room doesn't have a lock, does it?! 

Hijikata immediately pushed the idiot off him.  
"Ah—yeah? Why are you up?" 

"I was about to go to the toilet and I noticed that the front door was wide open," well, the bathroom / toilet is just by the entrance. Good thing the girl knew better than to open the door. 

_"It's what?!"_ Hijikata berated the drunk who's still begging for his attention. 

"Uh, did we get robbed or Sakata-san was home drunk?" he heard her ask. 

"It's apparently the latter. Stop that," Hijikata said then hissed at Gintoki while struggling to push away the idiot nibbling his ear. "Oi, asshole. Did you leave the front door open, you little piece of shit?"

"Mmmmmh I uhh mmh don't remember," Gintoki replied in murmurs. 

"Yup. It's the idiot," Hijikata confirmed. "Would you mind, closing the door, Namaye? Don't leave too. I'd know."

"Yeah," Namaye replied. 

Hijikata heard the front door shut close and was locked then Namaye's retreating footsteps. "Thanks. Now go back to bed," Hijikata instructed. 

_"I feel like a child,"_ Namaye thought. "You too, Hijikata-san."

 

He hopes he can too. That looks hard to achieve with this idiot getting it on. He turned his back against Gintoki hoping the idiot will get a clue or just sleep it off. 

"Hijikata-kuuuun" Gintoki mumbled, spooning him again and demanded his attention. "Don't ignore me, Hijikata-kuuuun,"

"I'm going to sleep. You should too,"

"But Gintoki Junior is lonely. He's wide awake. Don't neglect him now,"

"Listen, you asshole! The girl was up and I'm going to bet she's going to hear everything, so take care of your junior yourself," Hijikata hissed, apparently, ignoring Gintoki isn't very effective at all. 

"Okay then. I'll take care of my poor neglected junior. You don't have to do anything," Gintoki said, slowly pulling the clothing covering Hijikata's shoulder down.

"I said I'm sleeping!" Hijikata hissed. 

"Then sleep. I said you don't have to do anything. I'll take care of myself. This is your suggestion," Gintoki said. 

"This is not—" SHIT! The asshole is grinding against him! He's rocking his hips against Hijikata's ass while covering his shoulder and back with kisses. Hijikata had to cover his mouth again. What the hell is the perm head thinking?! He should've just taken care of his business in the bathroom! 

"Hiji— Uhh Hijikata.. Mmmnh" _SHUT UUUP!!!_

Hijikata hissed. Shit, he's definitely hard too with all of that. The jerk really! The movements went faster and he felt Gintoki release and at the same time, the bastard bit his neck hard. Hijikata bet the idiot's teeth pierced through his skin! 

And suddenly, Gintoki's body went limp. THE BASTARD REALLY CHOSE NOW AS A PERFECT TIME TO SLEEP?! Hijikata wanted to murder the asshole. _"He stirred me up like this then went to sleep because he got his fill?! Who's going to clean up after you, asshole?!"_

Begrudgingly, Hijikata got up and took care of his boner in the bathroom and he checked the marks the perm head left. See? He's bleeding! That canine teeth seriously! Hijikata bet that the idiot was too wasted to remember anything in the morning, so this better be left unsaid. He took care of the marks and cleaned up traces of the night's activity. That should do it...or so he thought... 

 

.  
.  
.

**Back in the present situation...**

 

"See? It's a good thing that we made it to the sale Kagura-cha—" Shinpachi paused as he slid the door open upon seeing the two idiotic adults just in the entrance hallway. 

Hijikata was leaning against the wall and his face clearly saying, _"I'm done with this shit"_ as his eyes were staring at nothing in particular. Gintoki on the other hand was burying his face on the crook of Hijikata's neck then hugging the mayora tightly. They may not be able to see his face bit his ears are awfully red. What on Earth happened? 

"What's wrong with them aru?" Kagura voiced out her confusion. 

"I don't know too," Shinpachi said. 

"Come on Hijikata-kuuuuun~~. Gin-san is really sorry okay? Hijikata-kuuuun," Gintoki said, while Hijikata in the other hand was completely devoid of response. 

"Looks like Gin-chan did something again." Kagura whispered to Shinpachi. 

"You don't have to whisper Kagura-chan. I don't think they'd care that we're actually here," Shinpachi whispered back. 

"Then why are you whispering too?" Kagura whispered again. 

"It will look like we're bad mouthing them. That should make them uncomfortable as well. They're making us uncomfortable here. They should feel shame to be fair," Shinpachi whispered back again. 

 

"I'll definitely know next time, Hijikata-kun. Give Gin-san a break here. I didn't want to do _it_ in that state too! I wanna do it while we're both sober so I can remember everything and record your voice and every part of you forever in my memory," okay, now that was... 

 

Shinpachi and Kagura deadpanned. Their eyes bore disgrace over Gintoki as they slid the front door shut again and went on their way back downstairs. 

"Adults are really disgusting aru," they heard Kagura say as she descended downstairs with Shinpachi. 

 

"The kids were here, you know?" Hijikata finally spoke. 

"Yup,"

"..."

"..."

"You're really shameless, aren't you?"

"At least we won on making them feel uncomfortable."

"That was not a fucking contest!"

 

.  
.  
.  
.

 

Namaye has been there for hours. Sougo's boredom said so. He yawned and checked on what her. Maybe he can pester her around to kill time as well. 

"Found anything useful?"

"Parasites apparently fed on the energy of the baby or the host itself. That's why most cases of hosts were either dead or had miscarriage. I guess aniki and I were had a lot of energy that we didn't die. Hijikata-san was really strong enough to endure all of that..." _at least on the first pregnancy._ Namaye didn't add that. She knew that if she survived like that, the parasite must've feed on Hijikata, and not her. 

"The parasite is out of Hijikata-san's body. What are you still fretting about?" Sougo said. 

"Look, Okita-san. Can you see me? Can you recognize me?" With all the rhetorical questions, Sougo just gave a hum as a confirmation, so Namaye proceeded to her point. "In other words, I still exist. I will still be born. My theory is that, even without the parasite feasting on an unborn baby's DNA, Hijikata-san's body was already modified into conceiving a child. Yamada didn't exactly turn him back to normal. He just removed this parasite, thus, if they have sex, which I'm sure they will, I'll have to be born and everything I've done will be all useless."

"So? No more energy sucking parasite. He'll live," Sougo scoffed. 

"No, he still won't," Namaye clenched her fist. "Without the parasite too, his body will have harder time adjusting to the changes again. The parasite made artificial enzymes and parts required to conceive a baby. How will he manage to survive it the second time?"

"Just make Hijikata-san take contraceptives or make him undergo into an operation remove his parasite made uterus," Sougo suggested. 

"If I can find a way to do that without blowing my cover, why not? They're even very suspicious of me thanks to you." Namaye replied. Namaye knew better than ask Sougo to help her arrange an operation like that.

"You're still not busted thanks to me too, ungrateful bitch,"

"And to that, I thank you," Namaye smirked. 

"That's still an educated guess, right? You've got not evidence to support that claim. That may not be it," Sougo still insisted. 

"Maybe I'm wrong, but apparently, something is still wrong. I still exist and that says something. This is my best guess that's why I made precautions before hand. It's better to arrange things earlier before they've gone too deep already."

 

"So to ensure they won't be fucking each other, you're destroying your own family by making Hijikata-san marry someone else?" Sougo said bluntly. They stared at each other for a while before Namaye was able to give him a reply. 

"He'll be committed to the marriage with his honor and my old man will respect that once it's official. Besides... Aniki will still get to experience a complete family. Even without our dad constantly there... I'm sure he'll still stick around and guide that idiot. That way... He'll be able to keep both of our parents."

"I don't think Ju-yon would appreciate what you're trying to do, you know," Sougo shrugged. 

"I know. The aniki that I know totally won't, but the baby Ichigo today will," she smiled in melancholy then faced Sougo. "I feel really sorry for my dad but... this way, he wouldn't blame himself and carry the burden of choosing me instead of my mother anymore,"

 _"Danna had to choose between Hijikata-san and the baby?"_ Okay, now that's entirely a different case right there. 

"I wouldn't think you'd agree either," Namaye scoffed. "I don't need anyone's approval. I made up my mind."

Sougo left it at that. Just as the conversation was over, Hijikata came to take over on the watch. Finally, he's wearing his Shinsengumi uniform again. He was doing his patrol before heading there, so he's officially back on field. They were guessing Gintoki stayed at home to take care of Ichigo then. 

"So, what did she say?" Hijikata asked Sougo. After all, her conditions included that she'll only spill to the sadist. 

"She told me about what happened to her Edo and apparently, she didn't want you to end up with Danna," Sougo said. 

"Ha? Why? What happened there? That doesn't give her a say to dictate who I end up with," Hijikata frowned. 

"I'll elaborate it further next time, but for now, I want my lunch and I've got a job to do. See yah, Hijikata-san," Sougo said and left. 

It just made things more confusing to Hijikata. Why? What happened there? He went in and observed Namaye who looked really focused on the task on hand. He kept his eyes on her until he noticed her repeatedly fixing of her hair to the back of her ear. She had to look down a lot so the hair really gets in the way. 

 

"Isn't your hair bothering you?" Hijikata asked.

"Sorta, but not really," Namaye replied. Hijikata sighed at that then took off his cravat and stepped closer to Namaye. "Do you need anything, Hijikata-san?"

"Yup. Just hold still for a sec." Hijikata said, and to Namaye's surprise, Hijikata was tying up her hair into a neat ponytail with his cravat. She froze with the thoughtful gesture. The moment he's done, Namaye totally lost her calm composure. 

"You okay?" Hijikata noticed that. 

"Y—yeah. I... I didn't know you can tie up hairs this neat, Hijikata-san. Men usually... Well, my brother is very sloppy at this stuff." _Crap! I said something unnecessary!_

"Oh, that's right. You have him as well," Hijikata gave a soft smile. Oh... Right. Tamegoro, Hijikata's older brother. She almost slipped right there.  
"Well, when I was younger, I had a long hair just like yours. I think when I was about your age, I still had that hair. It's getting in the way when I fight so I tie it up,"

Namaye stared at him with a childlike wonder on her face. Hijikata wondered what's so fascinating about something trivial like that about him. Perhaps it's that fascinating to know your counterpart in an alternate universe. 

"I see..." Namaye said. Trying to focus again oh her task on hand. What is she doing? She shook off her thoughts to focus again, only to remember what Sougo said. 

_"I'm giving you a favor. You mentioned something about a 'not-so-one-big-happy-family' before and that started to make sense now. Go ahead and experience it while it lasts..or until you destroy it."_

Ah, that's right. If she's going to disappear anyway, this is her only chance to get to know Hijikata. This is her limited time with him. She better enjoy it while it lasts. 

"Hijikata-san..."

"Hmm?"

"I heard you hated the dentist too,"

"Who told you I'm afraid of the dentist?! I'll kill him!"

 _"My dad,"_ She thought, but instead, she said, "I didn't say you're afraid Hijikata-san. I said you hate it. Okita-san told me."

"Ah," Hijikata cleared his throat in embarrassment. "That bastard is saying unnecessary things. That's right. Right, I hate dentists," 

"Aniki and I hated going to the dentist. Even our old man hated it, but he always promised to buy us something we like after," _He buys parfait for himself after too_

"You call your brother aniki?" Hijikata wondered. Well, that's not how he calls Tamegoro. 

"He wanted me to call him oni-san and say it cutely, but as if I'd do something like that," Namaye scoffed. 

"Your brother sounds like a someone with a sister complex," Hijikata deadpanned. That totally doesn't sound like Tamegoro. 

"Everyone says that," Namaye actually laughed at that to Hijikata's surprise. "He doesn't like me being surrounded by men, but tough luck, I grew up surrounded by mostly men. He and my old man barely tolerates Sora and Shin-chan."

"Sora? Shin-chan?" who the hell are these people? 

"Oh. They're my good friends. Sora was... He died because of the plague. Shin-chan rarely visits, but when he does, something usually bad happens to Edo, so my dad often chases him away. Not that he ever listened,"

"Why does it sound like this Shin-chan is a shady dude?" Hijikata can't help but think like that. 

"Well, he kinda is," Namaye agreed on that. 

"Then listen to your father. Stop hanging around him,"

Namaye smiled at that. Hijikata has no idea how warm those words felt to Namaye. "He's not that bad though. Shin-chan... He's the one who helped me come here."

 

Hijikata was about to say something in response when his phone ringed. He excused himself and answered the call. 

"Kondo-san? Is there an emergency?"

"Toshi, Totsan didn't accept your refusal to the marriage. He said Ayane-san's family was very mad. She's heading here in the headquarters to see you." came Kondo's concern from the other end of the line. 

"What? Tell her I can't see her right now. I'm on duty," Hijikata said. He actually don't know what to say to her or how to face her. They think it's easy for him to reject women like that? Hell no. 

"I understand, Toshi, but you know she'll head to the yorozuya's if she wouldn't find you here." Kondo said. Ah, right. Matsudaira knew where he stays now. "Please make time to see her or else the Yorozuya will have to face her instead." 

Well, Shit. 

"Fine," Hijikata sighed. Gintoki just calmed down about the marks he left himself (seriously that idiot). 

"Namaye, can you wrap up in an hour for today? I promise we'll be back here tomorrow. I need to go to the headquarters," Hijikata said. 

Namaye remained silent. Well, she wasn't thinking things would be easy either way. 

 

.  
.  
.  
.

 

"Hijikata-san... We're finally able to meet," Ayane smile sheepishly. For someone who sounded so demanding, she looks so humble and nice. 

"I'm really sorry for all the trouble, Ayane-san. I was keeping on watch of someone. I believe we had to talk," Hijikata said with all the formality required of him. 

"Ah yes... I heard you wanted to cancel our... the engagement," Ayane said, reluctant of how to phrase things. 

"Yes... About that, I really apologize, Ayane-san," Hijikata deepened his bow. The perm head said she's genuine in her feelings too. What the hell. 

"Are you going to marry her?"

"Eh?" Hijikata suddenly lifted his head to meet her gaze. Her? Who? 

"The mother of your child," Ayane said with a pained expression. 

"Uh... Actually, about that... I was the one who gave birth to the child," Hijikata admitted, making Ayane completely lost. "I heard you're a pediatrician. You must've heard about the parasitic amanto infection months ago. I was one of the second hosts."

Ayane was speechless and shocked for a while, but she immediately lit up with a gentle smile. "You just made me respect you more, Hijikata-san."

"Ha?"

"You were brave enough to admit the truth to me. I knew about the parasites, and I'm glad you survived with the child. The very fact that you chose to pursue pregnancy is a big thing itself. I've heard that most of the hosts that pursued the pregnancy either died or had a miscarriage. It must've been hard for you."

"That... that's not something worth such praise, Ayane-san." Hijikata said. 

"Oh but it is. I... I can't have my own child, so I can say as much. You've been blessed, Hijikata-san." Ayane smiled. 

"Thank you," Hijikata awkwardly bowed. 

"There's just one thing I've been meaning to ask though... That's why I really wanted to see you," Ayane said. Hijikata remained silent, making room for Ayane to continue. "Why did you cancel the engagement? First, I thought you decided to take responsibility with the woman as well, but now that I heard about the situation, I became more confused."

"Firstly, I think it would be really unfair on your part. Aside from that, the other parent of the child also wanted custody, and I decided to give it a chance. I understand that you're angry. You're free to do what you think is fitting for the situation, but I would like you to understand that I'm not going to yield. I'll also stand my ground."

"I understand, Hijikata-san. You don't have to worry. I won't tell a soul of your situation, and I'll make sure that your reputation and position in the Shinsengumi will be protected,"

"You don't have to —"

"Please, I insist." Ayane said then she stood up. "I should be going. Thank you for your time, Hijikata-san."

"Uh... Okay," Hijikata stood up as well and escorted her outside. 

Ayane gave a sweet smile with a goodbye wave to Hijikata as the car left, and unbeknownst to everyone, Namaye was observing the entire exchange. Her brows furrowed and she started to feel like she's a wrong pawn to use. 

"We should go home now," Hijikata said to Namaye. 

"She looked like a yandere type just now," Namaye voiced out with her eyed still on the speeding car. Hijikata observed her features and followed her field of vision to the car. 

"You set her up for me. What were you even thinking?"

"I guess I pushed the wrong button. If you want, I'll fix this and keep her out of your hair," Namaye said. 

"No. You're not going to do anything. I can handle it from here. If you wanna do something to help me out, stop setting me up with anyone," Hijikata said as he went on his way, expecting Namaye to follow. 

 

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Meanwhile in the car... 

"Look for his child's other parent. I want to know who took him away from me." Ayane said with stoic expression. 

"Eh? But Yukina-sama, I thought —"

"I have to say that, so he won't have to think of anyone else to run to of course. I'll remove whoever got in my way and he'll realize that I'm the perfect one for him." She then smiled sweetly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gintama is really ending, and I still haven't had enough! Give me back my feels!


	23. "Chan" for Childhood Friends, Especially Short Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If any of you say a thing to him, I'm taking Ichigo away from here." Hijikata dropped it, blowing their eyes wide open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who's late. I'm really sorry. I've had lesser and lesser times to spare for writing or for being active here. Yeahh, Too much talking. Here it is. Obviously rushed, so beware of errors.

Hijikata Toshiro hasn't been home for the entire week. It has been a damn week. Gintoki has been pacing back and forth in the living room/office. Ichigo had been crying a lot and he can tell the baby hated the formulated milk so much. He'd been fidgety and cranky since the first day Hijikata left and told him he'll be out on a stakeout, and this is the end of the line right here. The third day, he's been calling the idiot and he always calmed down whenever Hijikata answered, but he couldn't get in touch with the mayora since yesterday. What the actual fuck?! That's freaking it! 

He took the baby with him and went to the Shinsengumi headquarters. The Kagura abd Shinpachi shouldn't have a problem handling Namaye. She's well behaved so far.

"Oh, Danna. What brings you here?"

"My feet, obviously," Gintoki drawled. 

"Not really a good joke right there, Danna," Sougo deadpanned. "I do think your heart brought you here though. That sounded so disgustingly romantic right there. Please don't infect Ju-yon with that. It will ruin his assassination persona,"

"I'm not growing my kid into an assassin,"

"That's very correct. You're not, because I am," Sougo agreed. 

"I'm not here to see you. Where's your damn vice commander?"

"Language, Danna. Ju-yon can hear you," Sougo scolded and took Ichigo from Gintoki. He wants to raise a non swearing assassin huh? Gintoki allowed the exchange, but that's because he wanted a clear answer from the sadistic captain of the first division. 

"I asked about your vice-commander," Gintoki said more firmly this time. 

"Oh come on, Danna. It's not my fault he had to stay in the hospital—"

"He what?!" Gintoki exclaimed. 

"Oh? You didn't know? I thought he told you about it over the phone the other day. He broke his arm when he fell from the building," Sougo shrugged. 

"He said he'll be back home in our last phone call," Gintoki gritted his teeth. 

"Well, Kondo-san insisted he had to stay in the hospital and give you a call instead since he was burning with fever too," Sougo replied. "We thought he already told you. No wonder you didn't come to the hospital once even when he was discharged this morning."

This morning. Okay. How long was he in there again? Why didn't Gintoki hear about any of this? 

 

"Sougo! I told you to give me the damn papers—" and finally, here came Hijikata who was covered in bandages, and his arm was indeed broken. The two casted a heavy ambiance as they stared at each other. 

"Gintoki,"

"It's good to know you still remember me. Do you also remember that we're basically living together and you're dating me? It's been like— a week? Have you forgotten you have a month and a half old baby waiting for you back home?" Gintoki said. That was Sougo's cue to whistle and step out of the scene to evacuate Ichigo as well.

Hijikata sighed and walked to Gintoki. "I'm sorry. I... I didn't want to worry you and I couldn't hold Ichigo properly with my hand, so I decided to heal it first before—,"

"Why not tell me?"

"Because I knew you'd—"

"Worry? Be a dick about it? For fuck's sake, Hijikata! What do you expect me to feel?!"

"Exactly!"

"So you think you actually save the day— oh correction— _days_ by not telling me a damn thing?"

"Look, I know you're mad but—"

"Mad? I'm so damn furious, Hijikata!" Gintoki exclaimed. "Do you have an idea how hard and agonizing it was for me? I couldn't even do anything else but try my best to be enough for Ichigo. Look, I love our kid so much, but I was pretty tired too. It's not helping that I've been worried every damn minute without you there because you decided not to tell me a thing!"

"Well what do you want me to do?! I apologized, didn't I?!"

"And that's fucking it? You expected me to drop all of that because you freaking apologized?!"

"What do you want me to do?" Hijikata said, frustrated and tired. 

"I don't want something like this happening again, okay? This is not how I pictured out things to go when you said— gah! Forget it!"

"There! Again with that attitude. I'm sorry, okay? It's not going to happen again. I'll tell you everything next time even if it kills you. Is that better?"

"Just... Come home," Gintoki said with a dismissal tone and stepped back. He then turned his back to look for Sougo. He's done here. 

Hijikata sighed. With a broken arm and patched up injuries, he did come home with his family. 

.  
.  
.

 

Hijikata still can't hold Ichigo properly, so Gintoki had to assist him while breastfeeding. That actually ended the fight. Gintoki officially signed the treaty the moment he kissed Hijikata's temple while holding him and the baby from the back. Hijikata stilled as he felt the perm head's hold tighten. 

"A week felt too long when I'm too used of you just being here," Gintoki mumbled against the tuft of Hijikata's hair. 

"Are you saying you missed me?" Hijikata scoffed, quite amused with the gesture. 

"No, I said I'm not used to it," Gintoki denied quite vehemently. 

"In simple terms, you missed me,"

"I did not—!"

"I missed you and Ichigo too," Hijikata cut in, "I wanted to be home soon, really. It was my bad. I'm sorry."

Okay, that's too cute for Gintoki. Hijikata immediately felt the probing boner from behind and his face lit up in an instant. 

"I'm breastfeeding," Hijikata hissed. It's not intimidating at all with his flustered face. 

"Well, guess what? Your son isn't the only one deprived for a week here," Gintoki said

"I'm still breastfeeding, you impatient id—" again with the playing of his nipples. "Hmmngh"

"Ichigo, help daddy out a little. I need you to distract Namaye, 'kay?" Gintoki said to the baby and the raven perm head responded with a coo. "Good. That's my young man,"

"Hey—"

"Namaye~~!" Gintoki called out and took Ichigo with him to the living room where Namaye is lazily reading Jump.

"Yeah?" Namaye replied, tearing her gaze away from the Jump to respond. 

"Play with Ichigo for a while,"

"Ha?" Namaye gave her a confused look. She's supposed to be a person under house arrest here. Why was she asked to babysit? Oh right. She actually knows. 

"You better be good with kids so you can get married soon," Gintoki said. 

"Really?" Namaye raised an eyebrow at that, "I don't think my old man will ever be ready to hand me over to a man," 

"I'd think the same if I'll have a daughter, but for now, try to convince your dad that you can take care of a baby to have a family of your own, though that won't mean he'll give you to just any man," Gintoki said as he gave Ichigo to her. 

Namaye gave a ridiculed face as she accepted Ichigo (albeit begrudgingly). _"You never change alright,"_

"I'll just take care of my poor injured Oogushi-kun here, so look after Ichigo for me." Gintoki said as he went back in the room in a hurry. 

"Wait —!" Namaye definitely knew what the perm head was up to, but when she was about to call him on it, Ichigo pulled her hair hard like he's not just 6 weeks old. "Oi!"

"Play nice! Ichigo is a good kid if you get into him! Turn on the kids' channel! He likes the volume up." Gintoki called out from their room. 

As much as Namaye would like to protest, Ichigo is doing an awfully great job at distracting her. The baby started crying and she was forced to take the suggestion of turning the TV on with loud music, and apparently, it worked since the baby stopped crying like a faucet turned off. Not for long though. He wailed hysterically whenever he didn't like what's on and the poor girl was forced to play and dance him around the house. 

.  
.  
.

While Namaye was draining her energy, Gintoki was having the time of his life with Hijikata. He's careful not to be too rough though. The mayora is injured after all. 

Gintoki was drowning him in deep kisses while the yorozuya boss's hands were making their way down to his ass with his finger probing Hijikata's butthole. It made his breath hitch and break away from the kiss. They've been just jacking each other off, and making out, and Hijikata is still all fidgety with the idea of going any further. 

"I don't really think it's a good idea to go further,"

"Are you seriously—" oh that's right. This guy is a damn virgin. As much as the realization excited Gintoki junior, Gintoki doesn't want to scare Hijikata away or shy away from him. No, not that they've gone this far. 

"The—the kids are— uh... are outside." Hijikata stammered. 

"Namaye is a big girl and Ichigo is helping me out to keep her occupied," Gintoki reason. 

"That's not the point—! Ha—!" he wasn't able to hold his gasp. THE BASTARD! Again with the nipples! The perm head definitely knew how to shut him up. Hijikata shivered as Gintoki sensually licked his perked up nipples. 

"If I suck these, will milk come out?" Gintoki asked rhetorically with a despicable grin. 

"Idiot," Hijikata bit his lower lip as he fought off his moan. 

Gintoki teasingly nibbled the nipple while the other was pinched with his fingers. Hijikat's body language turned Gintoki on in every irresistible way. His body was too honest for Gintoki to listen in his weak protests. 

"Gin—"

Hijikata's breathless moan was abruptly cut short when they heard a crash outside that was followed by a loud beeping that can only be from Namaye's collar that's threatening to explode. Gintoki and Hijikata's eyes were blown wide open and they hurriedly dressed themselves as they went on their way out. 

"I told you! This is a bad idea!" Hijikata hissed at Gintoki after seeing Ichigo securely tucked on the crib that Gintoki moved outside earlier that morning. The baby is safe to their relief, but where is Namaye? 

"Namaye!" Hijikata called her out and found her trying to climb up the banister of the stairway. Her collar blinked with an orange light, signifying that one little wrong move would trigger the red light and her neck will be grilled with an electrifying shock. Hijikata sighed in relief and helped her up with his good hand. 

"Thanks, Hijikata-san." she bowed in gratitude. 

"What the hell was that?" Hijikata asked as Gintoki emerged from inside with Ichigo in his arms. 

"Someone was lurking around the building. I noticed while I was trying to stop the baby from crying," Namaye replied. 

"What? Were we attacked?" Hijikata frowned. 

"No, someone was observing us. Someone has been observing us for days now to be exact," Namaye said. 

"You mean this guy's stalker ninja?" Hijikata deadpanned. 

"I told you, I already made sure this house is stalker proof since you came aboard," Gintoki groaned. 

"You can't be so sure about that. I saw her in the toilet the before January ended," Hijikata crossed his arms 

"That was Zenzou! He's just using our toilet because of his damn hemorrhoids!" Gintoki explained. 

"Uh.. I think it's someone else," Namaye cut in. "I was ignoring him the last few days, but this time, he tried to take the baby when I was trying to fix the TV, so this happened."

Gintoki exchanged glances with Hijikata and they think they already have an idea of what is going on. This has gone too far. In the past few days Gintoki has been calling Hijikata to keep in touch since he's away for too long. The yorozuya boss has been mentioning an eerie feeling of being watched. That gave Gintoki an excuse to whine on Hijikata about needing a certain police officer to come home in order to protect him and their family. Hijikata didn't take it lightly though he didn't give in, knowing that Gintoki is perfectly capable of protecting his household and everyone under his premise. 

Hijikata can't help but do something as well too, so he sent Yamazaki to hang around the Yorozuya HQ and watch for anyone suspicious lurking around. Yamazaki reported to him that a man who appeared to be a private investigator was observing the yorozuya household. He made the Shinsengumi spy find who hired the guy and it pointed out to a person connected to Ayane's family. 

"I'll handle this," Hijikata said as he began to dial on his phone. Gintoki gave a face of disapproval and Hijikata immediately knew what he's thinking. "I'm not going to work, okay? I'm just gonna phone Yamazaki to investigate further in the lead he got when I told him to keep on watch for this stalker."

"Thought so," Gintoki nodded. 

Hijikata made a quick call to Yamazaki. He's had enough. This madness had gone too far and going after the baby is beyond his the limit. 

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You know how married couple say that sex life starts to die when you have a kid (let alone kids)? That's starting to get into Gintoki. He didn't even have the _real_ sex with Hijikata yet and they can't even find an opportunity to do it. 

Just like in a day like this... Hijikata is at work again. Well, that's what he was told. He knew that the mayora went to settle things between his obsessive admirer's family once and for all. As much as he wanted to declare to that woman who Hijikata belongs to, Gintoki was told to stay at home and watch over their baby. He's been thinking about it, and he thought he must be getting used to being the house husband thing with Hijikata's stable paycheck. The days of scavenging petty jobs like chasing lost cats are now over. He just had to be out when his assistance is really needed like fighting for a serious cause. 

Today, the sadist came over since Hijikata was actually out so it's his turn to keep an eye on Namaye. It's not necessarily the case though. Gintoki knew that Hijikata wanted to make sure that Gintoki will stay out of it so he sent Sougo.

The sadist was killing his time by playing with Ichigo and irritating Kagura. Gintoki threatened to kick both of them out if they get too loud and disturb Ichigo, so thankfully, it didn't get too out of hand. A job came about petty delivery of a rose bouquet and he let Kagura and Shinpachi handle that. That made Sougo redirect his annoyance towards Namaye, and the girl barks back just like how Hijikata would, so it was entertaining enough for Sougo. 

Gintoki observed the exchange and reevaluated his observations of the girl who's been staying with them for quite sometime now. She introduced herself as another version of Hijikata, but her sword style was a lot like Gintoki, not to mention her fondness of jump and how she cooks were a lot like his style too. Shinpachi pointed that out once and Gintoki pretend he doesn't care, but deep inside, he's actually very curious how that happened. 

He was just lazily lying down the couch when he suddenly received a call. He scratched his head and lethargically moved towards the telephone and answered the said call. 

"Yes, this is the Yorozuya Gin-chan," 

As it turned out, it was a call from the hospital, saying Hijikata overdid it, so he scratched his head and said to the other two, "I'm going to pick up my lovely mayora. Can I trust you two to keep on watch on my little Ichigo here?"

"He'll turn into a fine assassin, Danna. No worries," Isn't he supposed to keep Gintoki at home? Oh well, if he's on Gintoki's side, Gintoki won't find it surprising and he's not complaining. 

"That makes me worried, dumbass. Do try not to do too much damage while I'm gone," Gintoki said as he headed outside and rode his scooter to head over the hospital. Left alone with two mini sadists, Namaye had to deal with two demons. 

 

"Oi, here, hold your oni-chan," Sougo called out. 

"I don't call him that," Namaye glared, though she still walked in to hold Ichigo. She stared at the baby's bored blue eyes with wonder as she held him. She didn't notice before, but if he's like this, she can pay more attention to his features. "That's funny. As I remember, aniki had red eyes just like our old man,"

"That's a proof that things have been changing then," Sougo replied. "How is your aniki supposed to look like, then?"

"He's mostly just like our lazy bum old man. Dead fish eyes, perm hair, though he got the hair color from Hijikata-san. If you're going to ask the specifics, he looks just like a black haired version of our old man with a different sense of fashion. When I say sense of fashion, he wears his kimono properly. Most of the time he's wearing Hijikata-san's white inner uniforms and the first time the old man saw him wearing it..." she stopped herself, thinking she said too much. She then kept her face flat from expression before meeting Sougo's gaze. "Well, there's that."

Sougo hummed at that. Namaye gave him a look and scoffed, "You still don't agree with my plans, do you?"

"I don't agree with you, yes, but is that why you set an alliance with Takasugi instead? And here I thought you're smart. I thought you're trying to save the future. Why are you having an alliance with a man who seeks destruction?"

"He's not that bad," Namaye said. "Besides... He's the one who helped me come here in this timeframe,"

Sougo wouldn't find that as a surprise, considering that she trusted the notorious joi patriot too much with her life and asked for his assistance. 

Namaye excused herself to drink a glass of water after that. She sighed as she opened the fridge. This looks just like how she remembered it back in her own time. The difference is just that the strawberry milks aren't marked by Ichigo or Gintoki's name, and the mayonnaise supply isn't hers. Would Hijikata mind if she took one? Yep, he's gonna mind. She pushed her thoughts down and grabbed the pitcher with cold water. 

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The skies began to dim with the threatening rainfall as Ketsuno Ana reported this morning when the yorozuya boss got to the highway. Gintoki groaned at that. He needs a car now. He's no longer a single happy go lucky guy. He now has Hijikata and their growing little Ichigo. Gintoki stopped with the red stoplight and his phone conveniently rang. He answered it immediately, thinking that it's about Hijikata. Though he heard a familiar voice, it's not Hijikata's. 

"Sakata-san, it's been a while," that sweet voice tasted like venom to Gintoki's ears. After a truck passed by through the intersection, Gintoki saw a woman under an umbrella and sure enough, it was Ayane on the other end of the line, holding her phone to her ear. 

"Where is Hijikata?"

"He did pay me a short visit at the office earlier this morning... and he was really polite about asking me why my family hired someone to investigate on you guys. I can tell he was kinda angry about the attempt of abducting his baby, but he was still very nice. Of course I promised that I will convince my family to stop such acts. That's really romantic, don't you think?"

"You really never shut up when it comes to him huh?" Gintokumi replied, unimpressed. 

"I don't expect someone who doesn't deserve him to understand such feelings I have, Sakata-san. It's about time that you give him back to me, yes?" She smiled. 

Gintoki wasn't paying enough attention aside from his goal to get to her asap. As soon as the light went green, he speed up towards the crossing to stop at her location. Though he actually just wanted to run over her and finish the job. Their eyes never left each other's gaze and as Gintoki got closer, he smile grew more fond. Gintoki's lack of attention on anything else aside from his goal at hand allowed the huge truck to crash against him. His body was limply thrown far away from his scooter and people began to gather around because of a commotion. 

Ayane walked towards him and bent down, informing the public that she's a doctor (she's actually a pediatrician) and she already called an ambulance. 

"Don't worry, Sakata-san," She said with such gentle voice, "You'll be taken care of,"  
Gintoki wanted to spit something back, but he felt his consciousness slowly drifting away as he heard the wail of the ambulance. 

 

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The glass suddenly fell and shattered on the floor. Sougo then went to check on what happened with Ichigo in his arms, and saw Namaye with eyes wide open as she stared at her open palm. 

"Yes, yes. Blame your hand for not being able to hold the glass properly," Sougo chided. 

"Okita-san... My hand suddenly vanished," Namaye said still quite fazed. 

"What?" Sougo frowned. 

"My entire right arm vanished for good ten seconds," Namaye clarified. "That's why the glass... Fell,"

"Oookay? You discovered a new jutsu. Congratulations." Sougo said, mockingly. 

"You know what this means! The possibility of me existing wavered for a good ten seconds!" Namaye exclaimed. 

"Okay, congrats." Sougo shrugged nonchalantly. 

"No... Something feels wrong," Namaye said, contemplating. "I need you to reprogram this," She demanded as she pointed at the collar. They have to leave, and that can't happen if she's confined in the yorozuya headquarters. 

"And why would I create a problem for myself? Only Hijikata-san can reprogram that." Sougo replied. 

"As if you don't know the pass key! I need to get to the hospital, Okita-san. Now!"

"Don't bark and demand so much. You're not the one with the last word here," Sougo drawled with bored eyes. Well, that sounded more interesting than babysiting. "Fine, your limit is 50 meters away from me. Exceed that and you're dead," Sougo said with no room for more arguments as he began to change the setting upon then allowed the collar to scan him as basis of the allowed proximity range she can take. Now they will have to leave the kid to Otose. She wouldn't mind, right? 

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"Accident? There was an accident?" Sougo asked the personnel assigned to patrol the area near an intersection. "You sure the scooter belongs to the yorozuya's boss?"

"Yes, Okita taicho." the officer replied from the other end of the line. "An ambulance arrived almost immediately and he was taken to the near hospital."

Namaye rolled her eyes. It's the same hospital Ayane's family owns alright. Sougo picked up his speed and went there as fast as he could. When they were about to come in, two security personnel attempted to stop them. Something is fishy alright. 

"I'm sorry sir, but you're not allowed to come in,"

"Yosh yosh, This is a police matter. Stand back or I'll make you," Sougo said with a bored face. The security guards refused to yield, so Sougo gave did the honor of kicking their ass effortlessly and proceeded inside the building with a megaphone, announcing, "Okay, everyone. If you do something as stupid like those two just did, I'll gladly put everyone behind bars and give you a life spanking." No one dared to get in their way after that. 

Namaye, already familiar of the building, immediately knew where they should look. After randomly opening four doors, they finally found Gintoki in a window of an ICU room. Namaye froze to the sight. He was severely wounded, and she can tell he hit his head pretty bad and he had some broken bones as well. 

"Oh don't worry. He's not dead. Our hospital has the most advanced technology for this kind of conditions," Ayane appeared in and Namaye immediately grabbed her and pushed her against the wall. 

"You did this," Namaye seethed in anger. 

"My, Namaye-san. Isn't this too rude? I saved the person and this is what I get in return?" Ayane said innocently. 

"I'm not buying your act, bitch. I know what kind of person you are," Namaye slammed her hard against the opposite wall. The frail body of an average woman then fell painfully on the floor. "Okita-san, we need to take Sakata-san to another hospital, Now! She did something to Sakata-san if she's keeping him alive. We have to find out—"

"I just told you, Namaye-san. Our hospital has the most advanced amanto technology. He was already taken care of," Ayane said before she blasted off a gun releasing a powerful shock wave that bushed her and Sougo apart. 

Namaye was thrown to the opposite side of the hall and fell out of the glass window that broke because of the impact. Quickly, the collar beeped red. Shit. Sougo is too far—

"Climb up, stupid!" Sougo immediately hopped off the window as well and held tightly on the windowpane with shattered glasses. He then reached out his hand to her to tug her arm up. "I'm not getting in trouble just because of you,"

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Reinforcements from the first division came and brought Gintoki to another hospital while Sougo made sure that the psycho is on leash. 

"Hijikata-san always ruins people who fell for him huh. His woman is completely wrecked in a whole new level," Sougo hummed as he trailed his eyes over the woman who was already on cuffs and held down by two officers. 

"You're a bit slow, you know?" Ayane still had that smile. That poisonously sweet smile. "Hijikata-san never ruined anything. Everything ruined him. It's not a problem now though. I already fixed that."

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Hijikata came an hour ago with their kid in his arms and bags of exhaustion were making his eyes heavier. It's been two hours after the incident and now they're in another hospital where they transferred Gintoki. Sougo had to explain everything to Hijikata and this time, he can't just mess his way around it. Hijikata had enough shit for the week. He's too exhausted for this. Gintoki wasn't showing any signs of waking up, but the doctor reassured that his head injury was not as bad as it looked so he should wake up soon. 

Something triggered Sougo though. The very fact that Namaye's existence wavered for a moment because Gintoki almost died and what Ayane said before they sent her behind bars felt too important. He didn't have to drag the girl around since she had to follow him around because of the fact that he's the basis of the proximity range. When they're finally out of everyone's earshot, he spat. 

"So this is part of your big idea? Ah, that's right. If Danna died instead, of course you wouldn't be born," Sougo said seething with anger. 

"Okita-san, you knew I never wanted something like this to happen—"

"You involved that psychotic bitch in this mess! Danna could've died, and that's all on you," Sougo said, his tone went sharper and Namaye couldn't do anything but squeeze her eyes shut, holding it in and accept all of that. That wasn't satisfying enough for Sougo to watch so he let out a big sigh and said, "That's it, they have to know,"

"No, Okita-san, please!"

"Move," Sougo said, pushing her quite a lot harder than he would've wanted, but whatever.

Leaving her on the floor, Sougo was about to go on his way when Namaye suddenly kneeled in front of him and executed the biggest dogeza she ever gave with her pride and honor before. Now that's amusing enough for Sougo, so he stopped for a while and observed her. 

"I'm begging you, Okita-san."

"You obviously don't do this, do you?" the sadistic samurai hummed thoughtfully. "This is the part where you say you'd do anything,"

"..."

"So?" Sougo said with his sadistic face as he kept on looking down on her both figuratively and literally. "Hurry up and follow the script, bitch,"

"..."  
.

"...No, Shin-chan. Don't even think about it," Namaye said, and sure enough, Sougo found Takasugi Shinsuke at his back, about to draw his sword. So that's why she wasn't responding? How long has this midget been here?

"I told you to stop calling me that," Takasugi glared. 

"You wouldn't have stopped," Namaye said. 

"So this is your old pal Shin-chan?" Sougo said, quite amused. "No wonder you seem so close,"

"Stop it, okay?" Namaye tried easing down the tension uprising. 

"And I was wondering why I haven't heard from you for more than a month," Takasugi said, leaning on the wall while his cold eyes were piercing right through Sougo. 

"Now won't you look at that. Shin-chan has been worried about you, Namaye-chan," Sougo mocked, causing Takasugi to draw his sword in an instant to slice up the sadist who immediately maneuvered himself into defense. Good thing Namaye managed to get in between the two just in the neck of the time. 

"I said, stop," Namaye hissed. 

Takasugi finally drew back and the same hoes for Sougo. Namaye still had her guard up though. You can never tell with these two. 

"You're coming with me," Takasugi announced, earning surprised glances from the other two present in the hallway. 

"But—"

"She's not going anywhere with you unless you want to bring her with you dead," Sougo firmly refused. "Try and take her away and let's see how far you can take her."

"I can't leave, Shin— Shinsuke-san," Namaye mentally corrected herself on that. He wouldn't wanna further complicate things with a pissed off midget. "This collar will electrify me to death the moment I exceed the area limit."

"Hmmn," Takasugi hummed in response, contemplating as well. "We'll just have to get it off then," 

"Hijikata-san has the key," Sougo shrugged, knowing that Takasugi has been eyeing him to solve the problem for them. "He's in charge with you, after all." Sougo eyed Namaye, relying the silent message. 

"He's right," Namaye sighed. "I have to stay here...at least for now,"

Takasugi gave her an evaluating stare before relenting and making his way out without regards to Sougo's attempt to stopping him. Namaye can take care of that. 

"Let him go, okay?"

"You actually expected me to agree with that?" Sougo glared. 

"We don't need to do this right now. You're creating a problem for yourself. If you make a fuss, I'll tell him that we'll just have to bring you with us so I won't end up electrified." 

"Fine," Sougo nonchalantly replied and walked on his way back to Gintoki's room. Namaye observed him before she went to follow him. 

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Gintoki finally regained consciousness and slowly, he opened his eyes and realized that he's not in his own room. He squinted his eyes to adjust in the brightness and scanned the room. Apparently, he's in a hospital. That's not much of a surprise but then he saw a familiar v-shaped bangs Shinsengumi vice commander sleeping on an uncomfortable chair near his bed. He was suddenly confused. What happened?! What is Hijikata doing here?? 

"Hi—Hijikata-kun?" Gintoki asked, waking up the sleeping officer. Damn he looked like shit. He's too tired isn't he? Gintoki suddenly felt guilty waking him up. 

"Ah, you're finally up," Hijikata rubbed his eyes. 

"What happened?" Gintoki groaned. 

"You were attacked. Somehow that's the case if you call running over someone with a truck on purpose an attack. Sougo already took care of that, so you don't have to worry." Hijikata replied. 

"Uh... So why are you here?" Gintoki asked, pretty confused. Hijikata then mirrored his confusion.

"Seriously?" Hijikata scrunched up his face. 

"Yes, seriously, Hijikata-kun. Did I do something worth a hospital arrest or you're here for an interrogation?"

Hijikata was about to spit venous remarks, but then the yorozuya kids stopped him from doing so as they dashed inside the room with eager faces. 

"Gin-chan!"

"We were so worried, Gin-san!"

"Yeah, yeah. What did I do this time? Why is the mayora keeping a watch on me?" Gintoki asked. 

"Eh? What are you talking about, Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked after he exchanged confused gazes with Kagura. 

"Yeah, are you stupid, Gin-chan? Of course your boyfriend has been worried about you, dumb homo,"

"Ha?? Who are you calling my boyfriend?! Why would I date this mayora?!"

"Yeah, why indeed would you be?" Hijikata crossed his arms, quite pissed. That started the staring contest between the two.

"Hijikata-san, I think Ichigo needs to change his diapers," Namaye entered the room with Ichigo in her arm. She suddenly stopped, sensing the heavy atmosphere between her parents (who doesn't know about her). 

Ichigo gave an uncomfortable sound, making Hijikata sigh and forget about Gintoki for a while. He had to tend to his son's need. He took the baby from Namaye and checked the baby while Gintoki observed him for a while. 

"Oh? You knocked someone up, Hijikata-kun?? How long was I out?!" Hijikata froze and suddenly, everyone's eyes were on Gintoki. The perm head found the reaction weird of course. "What??"

"Gin-san?" Shinpachi gave a weak smile, "You're joking right?"

"Then you should be laughing. Seriously, what's with your faces? Don't tell me they changed my face— GIVE ME A MIRROR!" the yorozuya boss freaked out while Hijikata remained still and quiet with his back facing Gintoki. Namaye pursed her lips as she made the wrong decision to look at Hijikata's face. Is it really better this way? ...she had no idea this is how she would feel seeing a hurt Hijikata.

The doctor finally stepped in with Sougo who remained leaning against the door frame. The yorozuya kids were demanding explanations from the doctor while Hijikata was changing Ichigo's diapers as if he isn't hearing a thing. 

"Looks like he's suffering from mild memory loss. We can't tell for sure since his injury wasn't that bad, but we'll look into it. According to what you're saying, he must've forgotten recent events like the events in the past year," The doctor explained. 

"He'll remember eventually right?!" Kagura demanded as she grabbed the collar of the lab coat down to her height. 

"I—I can't really say for sure," the doctor replied, albeit reluctantly.

"Oh, so I haven't been in a coma? That's better. Now tell me what happened and why are these bakufu dogs here."

"Hijikata-san is here because—"

"Are you seriously pushing the idea of me dating that guy? I told you I don't swing that way, Patsuan. Give me a break here. Don't go telling lies to people to force them into something stupid just because they don't remember a thing."

"Gin-chan baka! How could you?! How could you lose your memory again and forget—"

"You got yourself involved in a mess again," Hijikata cut Kagura off. "Looks like you're going to be useless in the investigation without a functioning memory."

"Hijikata-san, what are you—"

"That's all, sensei," Hijikata glanced at the doctor. "It should be fine from here. Thank you," they exchanged pleasantries before the said doctor left but that didn't make the kids comfortable at all. 

"How serious was my offence this time, tax thief?" Gintoki glared with crossed arms. 

"We do the interrogating here and not you. I'm going to ask your kids instead, so stay here," Hijikata said and gave a gesture to Sougo and Namaye to grab the two away before they can spill things. Namaye was a bit reluctant, but Sougo pushed her to it, so she reluctantly grabbed Shinpachi out of the room while Sougo was doing the same with China. That didn't go smoothly and peacefully as expected, but Gintoki was too confused and dumbfounded to join in with the commotion. He doesn't even get it. 

"Hijikata-san—!" Shinpachi protested as they made it outside Gintoki's hearing range. 

"What's going on aru?" Kagura demanded. "Why did you say that?! It's not Gin-chan's fault he doesn't remember! He'll eventually remember everything, you'll see!"

"I'm not angry at him," Hijikata said, with his back at them. "It's better for him not to know. This way, he can take his old life back and my enemies wouldn't be after you guys too."

"That's not what's going on, Hijikata-san! I'm sure Gin-san wouldn't want this—"

"I need the two of you to stop," Hijikata sighed. "You can't tell him a thing, okay? You don't have to worry about Ichigo. I'll make it look like I'm hiring you guys for babysitting him while I'm busy, which would probably be most of the time, so he won't be deprived of his child."

"He has to know, Hijikata-san!" Shinpachi demanded vehemently. 

"Didn't you just hear him? In his state right now, is it a good idea to rub the truth in his face? This Gintoki doesn't want anything to do with me or our kid. Don't make this hard for anyone of us. You'll just force him to take responsibility, and that's what I hated about this situation in the first place."

"What if he'll remember?!" Kagura can't give up on the thought. 

"Then he will. We'll see how it will all turn out from that. Let's just let him remember on his own." Hijikata said as if that's the best answer available. 

"Hijikata-san, I'm sure Gin-san will eventually be back to normal if we just—"

"If any of you say a thing to him, I'm taking Ichigo away from here." Hijikata dropped it, blowing their eyes wide open. They obviously look disheartened. 

"You can't do that aru!" Kagura protested. 

"That's going too far, Hijikata-san," Shinpachi complained. 

"Then just go ahead and try. You'll see how far I can take this." Hijikata said as he was busy dialing on his phone. He then called Yamazaki as he began to walk away with the phone in his hand. "Yamazaki, I need you to move all my stuff including Ichigo's from the yorozuya. Don't leave a trace of our stay in the place or it's seppuku for you."

"Eeeh??? Did you fight with Danna again?" Yamazaki drawled. 

"I'll explain later. For now, I want everything to be spick-and-span in there. Make it look like how it was before I came." Hijikata said as he was on his way outside the building with Sougo and Namaye trailing right behind him. 

"Uh... Okay. Right away fukucho," Yamazaki confirmed the orders before Hijikata kept the phone back to his breast pocket. 

 

"Is this your idea of protecting him? Pushing him away? This _'you deserve someone better'_ tact is getting really cliche, you know? This all sounds awfully familiar, doesn't it?" Sougo drawled. He clearly meant Mitsuba. 

To the sadist's surprise, Hijikata replied, "Yeah, I guess this is how it will always be,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, but things have to happen. I did warn people for a big ball of angst right? You're prepared people, right?   
> I heard Gintama is not actually ending. I was like, "DAMN GORILLA PLAYING WITH MY HEART!" nonetheless, it was a great motivation for me to write more. But with the limited time I've got these days, my plans for writing one shots are ruined. Hah..


	24. Forgetting to Remember What's Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To him, it's working. Gintoki gets to spend time with Ichigo and Ichigo isn't deprived with any of his parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that it hasn't been exactly pleasant, especially the previous chapter, but here goes chapter 24.

_"You think he'd still love you if your kid never happened?"_

 

It's already been almost three months and Hijikata can't help but remember what Ayane said every now and then. He didn't take her as an obsessed stalker far worse than Kondo or Gintoki's ninja stalker, but the talk during the interrogation said a lot. She admitted that she altered Gintoki's memory, but refused to admit that she set everything up, though all evidences pointed at her. 

Something like this will happen inevitably with his line of work. He already had a few assassination attempts from joi rebels and some of his enemies (aside from Sougo). The yorozuya got dragged into this. Gintoki is the Shiroyasha but he's been having a low profile life now with nothing of these kinds of assassinations. Hijikata knew Ichigo is not that safe in his custody as well, but he doesn't think he can lose his child too. Speaking of the devil, he's up. 

He sighed as he went to get him fron his crib, the crib that Gintoki made. He had to take it too or else more confusion will arise. Sougo and Kondo sometimes look after Ichigo if he's too busy. Yamazaki is basically a slave to the baby now thanks to Sougo. But most of the time... 

"Yo, Ju-yon. Ready to see your dad?" Sougo greeted the baby. His face is a splitting image of Gintoki with that arrogant look and dead fish eyes. He's surprised Gintoki haven't noticed yet. Well, he also vehemently denied that the baby in the baby strife arc was his, and that baby already had a silver perm. 

"Mmn,"

"Go prepare your squad. You have a case to take care of," Hijikata shooed him away and the sadist just clicked his tongue in response. 

"Good thing Ju-yon here got danna's face instead of your permanent frown," Sougo poked the baby's puffy cheeks. 

"Hopefully, he wouldn't end up like a good for nothing like him," Hijikata grumbled. 

"Don't bad mouth his dada in front of him," Sougo gave him a disapproving look (exaggeratedly). "That's a big no no, Hijikata-san. Look, Ju-yon. Mama is being grumpy again,"

"Mmma—" 

As soon as the syllable left the child's mouth, Hijikata and Sougo froze then exchanged glances. Hijikata opened his mouth but words failed to come out. He was a stuttering mess for a sec until he managed to say something coherent.

"Don't teach him to call me that! If he learned to say it properly and call me that in front of the yorozuya, you're dead!"

"Woah, woah. Chill, Hijikata-san. That didn't sound as urgent when you looked like you almost cried happy tears." Sougo drawled. 

"I didn't almost cry!"

"Oh don't worry, Hijikata-san. I won't judge you that hard. You can be a proud single parent all you want here," Sougo said. 

Hijikata's usual morning routine went as usual. His routine now included Namaye as well. Takasugi came after her once and apparently, he needed her to produce a drug. The security on her grew strict after that. They can't let him have his way. Namaye was a good bait for the joi patriot so they kept her confined in the barracks with her room just next to Hijikata for unquestionable reasons. Her equipments were moved there as well.  
After the morning assembly, Sougo's division left for a case and that's when Hijikata went to the Yorozuya's place with Namaye and Ichigo. As promised, he hires Gintoki to look after Ichigo during duty hours especially during dangerous cases. 

"We're earlier than usual, Hijikata-san. Aren't they still asleep right now?" Namaye asked. 

"I don't care. They have to pick up their snoring asses. We'll have to get your eye checked. I think your going to need reading glasses."

"Eh?" Namaye paused. "Wha— we don't have to, Hijikata-san. My eyes are perfectly healthy,"

"I don't need a degree in medicine to tell that something is wrong with your eyes. You kept on rubbing them and you had to squint your eyes while reading." Hijikata said.

"You really don't have to bother about me. There's nothing to gain from investing on me—"

"You don't have a say on how I spend my money," Hijikata said with finality in his tone. "We're going and that's final. I already made an appointment."

Namaye's mouth was left open. Her words betrayed her and decided not to come out. Maybe that's for the best too. As much as possible, she wouldn't like to get into Hijikata'd bad side. Besides... that made her kinda happy. 

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Gintoki haven't been having a great morning since the yorozuya kids decided to impose this new game of trying to hit his head every morning. He's not sure what they've been trying to achieve or if they're trying to do anything besides attempting to murder him or giving him a headache (literally and figuratively). He feels like he's back in Hijikata's body with Sougo constantly trying to murder him. 

"Seriously, Kagura, Patsuan, stop this. Gin-san isn't getting any younger. I'm too old to play your pointless game,"

"It's not pointless aru! The sadist said that he'll treat me sukonbu if I hit your head at least twice!" okay, so it's that sadist after all. 

"You'll kill me for a stash of seaweed?!" Gintoki exclaimed. "And since when have you been hanging out with him?! I know I haven't been feeding your endless pit, but that doesn't mean that you have to resort to teaming up with that sadist!"

"Well it's your fault that I no longer have a foster mami to treat me—"

"ANYWAY," Shinpachi almost shouted to drown out Kagura's voice, "Otose-san has been asking for the rent since the other day Gin-san," 

"Since when did I pay the rent on time, Patsuan? Seriously, you kids are being suspiciously—" Gintoki stopped when he heard a knock against the door. 

"Open up, this is the police," That intro and voice can't belong to anyone else. Okay, here comes their payment for the rent. Gintoki went over the front door and opened it. Sure enough, it was Hijikata and Namaye with Ichigo.

"Yo, Ichigo. You came over to play again?" Gintoki immediately took Ichigo off Hijikata's arms. 

Hijikata handed him the payment in an envelope and the bag with all Ichigo's necessities. Gintoki just accepted it as usual. Hijikata never stepped in. They do the transaction in the doorway that it's so awkward like the Mayora was just giving him his delivery. It always made Gintoki wonder. The mayora never had an issue entering the premise before. Gintoki can even recall a few times of trespassing. 

"What's with the rush? You're here early. You can have a cup of coffee before you leave, you know," Gintoki suggested, testing his guess. 

"You don't have coffee," Hijikata frowned. He made sure to retrieve that too. 

"How did you know that?" Gintoki shot an eyebrow up. 

"I— It's obvious that a sugar brain like you only has milk as a refreshment for guests!"

"Oi! Don't look down on me! We have water here too!" Gintoki exclaimed in his defense. 

"That's worse! How piss poor are you?!"

"I'll tell you more about how piss poor I am if you just stay a bit longer here and kill time with small talks with me, as—!" Gintoki stopped himself before he can finish that word. The kid can hear them. 

"I told you—!" Hijikata stopped himself when he noticed Gintoki's serious face painted with a pout. "...I can't, I have to—"

"That's right, Hijikata-san!" Kagura and Shinpachi piped in. "Come stay a bit longer!"

"That's right! I-chan feels lonely whenever you just leave like that aru!" Kagura chimed in. 

"No, he doesn't," Hijikata gave a surprised face. Is that true??

"Well, you don't really know coz you never stayed long enough to find out," Gintoki said. "Right, Ichigo?" 

"Mmmmmha" Ichigo said it again. 

"M—MMmmata neh," ("See you") Hijikata said in panic. "S-see? He's saying goodbye now. Bye bye okay? Go give them a lot of headache."

"Oi. He'll definitely do that—" Gintoki was not able to finish that sentence when Hijikata leaned down to the baby in Gintoki's arms to give Ichigo a kiss before leaving in a rush. That caught Gintoki completely off guard. He never really saw Hijikata very affectionate at all. At least as far as his memories allowed him to remember. 

"Mmmmha" they heard Ichigo say again. 

"That probably means "see yah" after all," Gintoki mumbled to himself while Kagura and Shinpachi exchanged knowing glances. Sougo's plan is on the move then. 

.  
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_  
"Hijikata-san will have a harder time hiding the truth once Ju-yon learns to talk," Sougo said while eating in the dango stand while Shinpachi and Kagura were siting on the opposite side with their backs facing each other._

_"Aren't we betraying Hijikata-san with this? It's not like I'm opposed to this plan but... Doesn't Hijikata-san trust you, Okita-san? He'll probably lose his trust on leaving Ichigo-chan on you if he finds out." Shinpachi said._

_"That's fine. He's already very mistrustful if you're worried about his trust wavering. He wouldn't notice. If Ju-yon is the one who'll announce the truth, Hijikata-san wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Besides, Hijikata-san doesn't lie to the kid,"_

_"He openly talks about it with the baby?" Shinpachi said._

_"Of course. Hijikata-san isn't the one to think that his kid is too young to understand. He is rather the type to avoid conflict of Ju-yon being too grown up to consider his actions," Sougo explained._

_"That's going to take so long aru," Kagura replied while dangling her feet in the air while siting on a high chair. "I-chan is still too young."_

_"Then let's hope you hit Danna's head hard enough before we have to resort to that.," Sougo said._

_"I'll hit him a lot aru! How much would you bet against that?"_

_"Fine. Meet me if you managed to hit his head at least twice a day and I'll buy you that cheap seaweed," Sougo said._

_"You're on aru!"  
_

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Hijikata let the days drag on with that kind of set up. To him, it's working. Gintoki gets to spend time with Ichigo and Ichigo isn't deprived with any of his parents. Hijikata... Well, he's fine looking at Gintoki and Ichigo spending time together from afar. Hijikata even welcomed Sarutobi back with her persistent stalking in exchange for her silence and Gintoki is all hers. 

Katsura on the other hand... wasn't exactly fond of the idea (nobody is). He had to agree to have this regular "uncle day" so Katsura can finally get to shut him up in this fiasco and let Gintoki remember on his own. 

 

"Is that a diet of a growing samurai? Feed him manlier foods." 

The joi rebel was siting across him in a regular diner while Ichigo was on Hijikata's lap, eating a strawberry flavored baby food Hijikata got for him. Katsura was wearing a mustache as a disguise of course. Katsura Koutaro can't be seen this civilized with the Shinsengumi's vice commander and his son. Why is Hijikata in this uncle day? Well, the last time he allowed the human wig to bond with the baby by themselves, he blasted the entire room off and ran away, screaming justice of returning Gintoki's son to him. 

"He's just a baby, stop calling him a growing samurai," Hijikata sighed, wiping the mess out of his son's face. 

"You really don't get it. I told you being a single parent is tough! If you don't know how to feed him proper foods, I'll—"

"Don't even think of abducting Ichigo again. I'll seriously take him out of Earth where you can't touch him," Hijikata said. 

The uncle day went on as chaotic as expected. Hijikata knew that since he still had Ichigo in him. There are so many people who loved the kid even before he was born. Gintoki's network of was quite wider than Hijikata expected. Thank God not the entire Edo knew about the situation or else it would've been a lot harder to hide everything. The day was over and Katsura was carrying the sleeping Ichigo as they walked out of the park. Hijikata knew his son's self proclaimed "uncle" is going to have "the talk" again. 

"This can't go on for too long," Katsura finally said. "Sooner or later, Ichigo will get confused. You openly tell him Gintoki is his dad. Do you have an idea how confusing it will be for the kid? Just tell Gintoki already."

"He's going to get confused either way. This family is already dysfunctional to begin with."

"You still think this is for the best?" Katsura gave him a hard face. "No one is happy. _You're_ not happy. Tell him or else it will be all too late."

"I know about Ikumatsu, Katsura. Now tell me why you didn't pursue her. You should be the one who understands this better than anyone." Hijikata had a thick record in this idiot throughout the series of course. 

"She's a completely different case!" Katsura glared and replied bitterly. "Gintoki didn't want to let go of you and now you're just giving everything up he fought hard to keep. Gintoki deserves better than this."

"Yes... He does."

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"Why won't you drink this one??" Gintoki asked in frustration. After he prepared the milk, the kid doesn't even want to drink it. Instead, Ichigo keeps on making grabby hands towards Gintoki's strawberry milk. 

"No, it's mine. You have to drink more of your milk before you can have this kind of milk,"

"Tah!"

"Don't push it, little man. I don't want to be responsible if you'll have a weird stomach. Your father is going to kill me," Gintoki said.

"Taaaah."

 

Gintoki groaned. "Fine. Just a bit shouldn't hurt right? Strawberry milk is still a milk. Just not formulated for babies, but still a milk,"

Gintoki finally relented and allowed the child to have some of his strawberry milk. He's been wondering for sometime now, but Hijikata's son doesn't look much like him. Sure, the kid got his mesmerizing blue orbs, but the bored look on Ichigo's eyes mirrors his own. He also got Hijikata's jet black hair though it's a perm too. Now he remembered Hijikata dissing him about his perm. He doesn't hear that these days. Probably having a perm head kid made him stop. 

"You don't look much like your old man, do you?" Gintoki said to the child.

"Tah?"

"Yeah, thought so," Gintoki said. 

"He's actually a lot like his old man," Otose said, making herself welcome since the front door is wide open. 

"Oh? I don't see much resemblance that I should be seeing. Where is Hijikata's frown." Gintoki asked. 

"Of course he got something from his mother, but he's still a lot like his old man," Otose huffed. 

"You're confusing me here old hag. Are you here for the rent again? There, I got it. Hijikata always pays me beforehand." Gintoki said, gesturing the envelope on the table. 

"This didn't change then. Basically, he still pays your rent," Otose hummed as she checked the content of the envelope. Gintoki raised an eyebrow on that. Oh, probably she meant his source of rent payment these past few months since Hijikata has been hiring him for babysitting. 

Well, speaking of mother, Gintoki can't help but wonder. "Hey old hag... What happened to Ichigo's mother?" 

"That person huh?" Otose hummed. "Well, I don't think I'm in the place to talk. If you want to know, ask him yourself."

....

 

Gintoki sometimes wondered if Hijikata has been neglecting his son over his job whenever he leaves the baby on him in a mad rush then pick him up really late in the evening. The perm head wouldn't want to think it that way though. Hijikata doesn't really leave the kid on him everyday. 

In fact, in one of Gintoki's leisure days in which he empties his pockets in the pachinko parlor, he saw Hijikata patrolling the streets. He was carrying Ichigo on his back with a baby bag, and of course, it's giving Hijikata uncomfortable stares, but he didn't care that much. The view made his image a lot smoother than usual, and to the perm head's irritation, women gather around him more, using the baby as an excuse. Everyone knew that the vice commander of the Shinsengumi is still single, so desperate bitches doesn't hesitate to give it a shot. 

Somehow, he's irritated by the sight. Why is that damn mayora so famous with women? Gintoki is the main character damn it! He should be the famous one! Why the hell did the damn gorilla decide to surround him with the most unappealing women in the series? The gorilla even kept on announcing that it's about to end and how can that be when he didn't even end up with anyone yet! He wants his Final Fantasy too! He would love to have his happily ever after with Ketsuno Ana! 

"Ora, Ichigo-chan, you look as cute as always," a woman in a pink kimono greeted the baby. Looks like she works in a flower shop where Hijikata often pass by during patrols. "Did you gain weight? You must be feeding him well, Hijikata-san." She smiled at Hijikata. See?? There it is! She's just using the baby as an excuse to flirt with Hijikata! 

"Tah," Ichigo said, completely ignoring the woman when he saw Gintoki coming. 

"Yo, Oogushi-kun. Why are you bringing Ichigo in your patrol? What kind of parent are you? Just look at the weather. He'll get sick." Gintoki said. 

"The weather is perfectly fine," Hijikata deadpanned. 

"My goddess Ketsuno Ana said that there is a chance of sudden rainfall today. She can never be wrong, Hijikata-kun,"

"If it's going to rain, then let it rain! I barely have a time with my kid with my work!"

Gintoki ended up spending time with them while accusing each other that they're following the other around. 

Now it's clear that Hijikata wanted to spend time with his son, why is Hijiata leaving the kid on him in a mad rush everytime then? Was he that busy? What's with the _'I'm so busy, I can't get in and chatter'_ excuse everytime? Gintoki had enough hearing that.

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"Yorozuya! Open the damn door!" Hijikata yelled as he knocked the front door hard enough to break it. 

"Just come on in, Hijikata-kun~," Gintoki called out.

"Just give me back my kid, won't you?!" Hijikata demanded, and was still outside. 

"Just come in, won't you?! That isn't the gate of hell, Hijibaka! Are you scared of my humble abode now?"

That did the trick and the Mayora came storming his way inside. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SCARED AH?!" 

"Oh, good. You finally passed that hurdle. Congratulations," Gintoki replied, coated with mockery. Hijikata found him and Ichigo on the floor, trying to complete a set of approximately 500 pieces jigsaw puzzle. "Now, help us complete this puzzle," Gintoki said, continuing to complete the said jigsaw puzzle. 

"Oi, Yorozuya," Hijikata's eyelid twitched. "When I said you can buy him toys, I actually meant something for him to play, not to chew!" Hijikata pointed out the baby covering a puzzle piece with his saliva. 

"He pointed at this one," Gintoki reasoned. 

"That's not even appropriate for his age! What were you thinking?!"

" _You_ suggested the puzzle mats!"

"EXACTLY! I said _puzzle mats_! Not jigsaw puzzles!"

"It's big enough as a mat," Gintoki deadpanned. "I'll show you when I finish it."

"When are you even going to finish that? Unlike you, I don't have that much time to waste! I'm taking my kid now,"

"Oh? Backing out, eh? You're chickening out because you know I'm right, but you don't wanna acknowledge that; so you'll just leave before I can finish it and prove you wrong," Gintoki smiled menacingly. 

Again, it did the trick. It irritated Hijikata, making him sit on the floor as well saying, "Fine! I'll help finish this puzzle fast enough and prove you that it's not big enough for a mat to begin!"

"Oh bring it on! I bet I'll put more pieces together more than you!"

"As if! I can even double all the pieces you can assemble!" Hijikata huffed. 

"Let me tell you this almost half done thing was just under two minutes before you came in," Gintoki boasted. 

"What half done are you talking about?! This doesn't even make any sense at all! The pieces were all mismatched!"

That fueled more to the bickering until they actually finished the puzzle. It took them another thirty minutes looking for the last missing piece to complete it until they remembered the puzzle piece Ichigo was drowning in his saliva. It was already ruined, but what's just one puzzle piece against the rest of the 499 pieces? The puzzle is complete, and that declared Hijikata as a winner. It wasn't really enough as a mat to begin with, so Hijikata was right. Gintoki wasn't upset at all. On the contrary, his hidden agenda worked. Hijikata stayed and childishly bickered with him again. 

"It's late," Hijikata remembered he wasn't supposed to stay. "We should be going,"

"Sure, sure. Don't drop by next time." Gintoki said, making Hijikata glance at him questioningly, so the perm head added, "Just come in and stay longer. You can play with your son a lot better here. I'm his favorite playmate after all."

 

.  
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"Dah" Ichigo called out. 

"A new baby vocabulary in your baby language huh? How many sentences does that mean this time?" Gintoki chuckled while preparing the baby's milk. The baby usually utters a single syllable to say everything, and it's amusing to the yorozuya boss. 

"Da!"

"How am I supposed to translate that? I'm gonna have to ask Gengai to make a baby talk translator." Gintoki hummed to himself.

"Da.. Dah!"

 

"...eh?"

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Hijikata Toushiro was too tired to deal with another bullshit. Everything was a mess in the headquarters, and just when he finally clocked off to go and get his child, he was held back by two drunks fighting over a dirty mochi that fell on the ground. Next, he was forced to walk a very difficult old woman to the station. Just when he thought his day couldn't get any worse, there came the heavy rain suddenly pouring down.

With heavy feet, he dragged himself up to the yorozuya's flat and knocked the door, announcing his presence. It sounded like the perm head wouldn't open it again today, do he made himself welcome and removed his soaked shoes when he suddenly heard a familiar voice. 

"Mama!" Ichigo beamed, seeing Hijikata. 

"Ah—" Hijikata was utterly speechless with his eyes wide open. He looked up from his feet and he gave a reluctant gaze to Gintoki, and sure enough, his face was confused. 

"Did he just call you what?"

"It's Sougo, okay? He's been teaching stuff to the kid. Stuff about plotting against me if it's still not obvious." Hijikata avoided eye contact and used the process of removing his shoes as an excuse to keep his eyes on his feet. 

"So that's how he normally calls you?" Gintoki clarified.

"Yeah, got a problem with that?" Hijikata then looked up to meet his eyes with a glare.

"Not really. I'm just confused why he started calling me this," Gintoki said then turned to Ichigo, "Say, Ichigo. Who am I?"

"Dada!" Hijikata was evidently shocked. 

It's the first time he heard the child say that word. He already heard the child calling him Mama, but why on earth did the kid started calling Gintoki that at his face?? It's definitely Sougo, isn't it? Damn that imbecile! 

"Well?" Gintoki glanced back to him with weighing gaze that felt too heavy in Hijikata's throat. 

"I—I don't know. Ask Sougo,"

"Okita-kun was not here when he called me that."

"Like I care," Hijikata dodged the topic and was about to get Ichigo from Gintoki's arms, but Gintoki refused to hand him the child over. The action made Hijikata deepen his glare. "Oi."

"You're soaked. Why would I give him to you?" Gintoki justified, and before Hijikata can bark back, Gintoki added, "You can't just crash through the storm outside. Call Jimmy to get a car to pick you guys up."

"I—I know that. You don't have to tell me," Hijikata grumbled and dialed on his phone. Suddenly, the perm head threw a towel to his head. 

"Go take a shower. It will be annoying if you'd catch a cold, 'coz that would mean Ichigo would most likely catch that too," Gintoki said as he made his way back to the living room. 

"I don't have spare clothes," Hijikata found himself saying. 

"If you don't have a problem wearing my clothes, then that wouldn't be a problem," he heard Gintoki reply while making himself comfortable in the couch with Ichigo. Hijikata certainly has a problem with that. 

....

Gintoki gave him a weird and evaluative look when he stepped out of the shower clad in Gintoki's kimono. The perm head looked like he's giving it a really deep thought, and that elevated Hijikata's irritation. 

"What?!" Hijikata finally snapped. 

"Ah, as I thought. That kimono is really just for the main character. It still suits me best," Gintoki replied. 

"You never should've offered it in the first place then!"

"I like you wearing it," Gintoki said, effectively shutting the other up... though not for long. "It makes me look a lot better, and people will think that there really isn't anyone else fitting for the role of the main character,"

"I bet I can wear this a lot better, not to mention a lot properly than you!" Hijikata exclaimed. 

"Bla bla bla. Shove something in that mouth so you can shut up," Gintoki stood up and settled Ichigo on the tatami mat near the table, where Hijikata found a steaming miso soup accompanied with mouthwatering dishes. When did Gintoki make all of that?  
"Where are China and glasses?" Hijikata asked.

"Out to do their stuff, and they're not coming, so Gin-san is pretty lonely. Join me in, won't you?"

"I think Yamazaki will arrive anytime now so—"

"Don't turn down such nice offer. This is a limited edition Gin-san special in which I share my limited edition high end food."

"What high end food?"

"Stop yapping, okay? Just come and join me. The food is getting cold," Gintoki said, setting Ichigo beside him. 

Hijikata noticed that he's intending to feed the kid, so he went towards the table and said, "It's fine. I'll feed him. Your babysitting hours were over."

"How can you eat my glorious cooking if you have to feed him too? It's no big deal, okay? It's not like I just look after him for money." Gintoki smiled, leaving Hijikata with nothing else to say. 

It goes without saying. Gintoki loves the child even without knowing that Ichigo is actually his son. They began eating, though it was eerily quiet. Hijikata missed Gintoki's cooking, and he didn't even try to deny that to himself and enjoyed the food in silence. Gintoki in the other hand however, noticed that the mayora didn't even try to put mayonnaise on the food.

"I'm surprised you didn't put mayonnaise on that," the perm head smirked with pride. "Is Gin-san's cooking that good?"

"It's edible. Don't flatter yourself. I just forgot to bring one," Hijikata lied. He never failed to bring one bottle around. 

"Just admit it. That's the best food you had," 

_"Yes it is,"_ Hijikata thought to himself. "I'm just too hungry to complain of what I'm eating."

"This tsundere really," Gintoki glared and clicked his tongue, earning the same glare from the said tsundere. "You better not turn into a stuck in the mud tsundere like this guy, Ichigo. It's so not cute,"

"Ma?"

"Oh, that's right. You call him mama. That would make sense 'coz he's like a gorilla woman who has menstrual cramps everyday with that frown."

"AAH?! YOU WANNA FIGHT, YOROZUYA?!" Hijikata shouted. 

"Speaking of your permanent frowning face, did Ichigo took after his mother? He doesn't look like you," Gintoki pointed out while feeding Ichigo. 

Hijikata froze. Of course he'd notice that eventually. Hijikata actually knew Gintoki noticed that way back before, but he chose not to talk about it. The perm head finally found the opportunity to ask, it seems. 

"Ichigo... just looks a lot like his other parent, yeah,"

"You never talk about his mother, and no one wants to tell me. What happened?"

"His mother... chose to run away like a coward, thinking it's for the best," Hijikata said with a bitter scoff and distant eyes. 

Gintoki just stared at him long enough before he managed to ask, "You wanna get back together? Be a family, I mean." The last sentence made Gintoki look away and it was Hijikata's turn to look at him. 

 

"If that person remembers... and still sane enough to get back together with me," Hijikata replied with a sad smile. This time, neither of them looked away. 

 

 

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Unbeknownst to them, Namaye has been just in the doorway. Sougo made her go upstairs to get Hijikata and Ichigo instead of him. She just simply walked in since the door was conveniently left open (courtesy of Sougo of course) before the first division captain said he forgot something, so Namaye should get the two instead. As soon as she was inside, Namaye heard the conversation and it was easy for her to tell that they're eating, so she didn't interrupt. She silently eavesdropped and when she thought she heard enough, she went back outside and was about to tell Sougo to get them himself. She didn't have to go all the way back to the car in the heavy rain since Sougo was just in the stairway with his arms crossed and his back leaning against the wall. Namaye glared. He did that in purpose, didn't he? 

 

"Okita-san, why are you keeping your mouth shut until now?" Namaye can't help but ask. 

"Why? You prefer for me to speak up and drop the bomb to everyone?"

"I appreciate this and all, but what are you up to?" Namaye stepped closer to him downstairs, but not closer than two meters. 

"Nothing much, but aside from watching Hijikata-san suffer, you're not disappearing, are you?" Sougo smirked. "That only means that you're not really succeeding and they'd still end up together. There's a possibility that Danna already liked Hijikata-san before all of this, or he'd still fall for him either way. Destiny is a bitch, see?"

Namaye glared at him. She's definitely a splitting image of Hijikata whenever she does that. That's what makes it so fun for the sadist. 

"Aren't you going to give up yet?" Sougo smirked. 

"I'm still not formed, and they're still not together," Namaye retaliated. "I've got more time than it looks, Okita-san."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really late, I'm so sorry. I didn't have the time to check too, so I'm sure there are a lot of errors. I'm sorry for making you deal with that after I updated late. Life is really just being hard to me, and keeping me away from here.


	25. You Don't Have to Remember a Feeling you can't Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is Ichigo mine?" 
> 
> In which there's a time skip and Gintoki still doesn't remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5 chapters to go  
> Errors ahead

Hijikata sure loves bringing the kid to work. Gintoki confirmed that. One time, the demonic vice commander was trying to teach Ichigo to walk. Hijikata did it somewhere he thinks no one would bother them, so no women were present gushing over them ~~so much to Gintoki's relief~~. Ichigo can stand now, though he still needs support to keep his balance. That's what Hijikata is trying to accomplish here. Ichigo didn't last long though. He later on refused to stand altogether. Hijikata gave an exasperated sigh.

"You're tired already? You sure got your laziness from him." Hijikata chuckled and picked his son up. 

"Da?"

"Yes, him. Okay, you hungry?"

Gintoki couldn't hear what they're saying, but the scene alone was revealing the demonic vice commander's soft side. The yorozuya boss didn't notice the fond smile painted on his face until Sougo pointed it out. 

"You look like a proud parent, Danna," Sougo said, making Gintoki snap out of it. Sougo then traced his viewpoint and saw what he was staring at. "Oh I see. Mother and child are having some quality time. Why not join in?"

"Nah, I don't think I should ruin more of their quality—,"

"A THIEF!!! HELP!!"

Everything was then shattered and Hijikata called Sougo out to chase off the stupid thief that decided to snatch in broad daylight during their patrol. Hijikata secured the baby as he ran after them as well. Gintoki groaned. 

Now they're running. Aren't you supposed to teach your child how to walk first before showing him how to run? It's just like teaching him how to bike first before he can learn how to drive a motorcycle! Gintoki had no proper justification, but nonetheless, he went after them as well. Maybe teaching the baby how to walk during patrols is not the best idea after all. 

 

.....  
......  
.....

 

Several nights later, Gintoki was sitting on the tatami mat sprawled on the floor where Ichigo plays. The baby was then sitting in front of him while playing with his toys. "Now, I need you to sit over there." Gintoki said, gesturing the red couch. 

"And Why should I? We're leaving. You should be collecting his toys now!"

"Chill will you? Ichigo is gonna show you something, so sit right there." 

Begrudgingly, Hijikata sat on the couch with his arms crossed. "Okay, now what?"

"Oh look, Ichigo. Daddy is over there." Gintoki said, and Ichigo gave him a confused stare then gestured at Gintoki.

"Dada?" Ichigo stared at him innocently. 

"No, not me. Your is dad over there," Gintoki pointed at Hijikata again. 

"Mama!" Ichigo said, making Hijikata flinch. Oh that's right. Sougo has been teaching the child to refer him as a mama. No wonder he's been so confused.

"Yes, him. Now, show him what you got." Gintoki smiled and made Ichigo put his toys down. 

Hijikata's eyes grew wide when the little slug slowly tried to stand on his own after Gintoki let go of him. 

"Wha—" 

"Shh— let him do it. You're doing great, Ichigo. Now, fe fi fo fum."

The little raven perm head struggled to keep his balance and finally managed to take a step towards Hijikata. He trembled before making one after another, and— he almost fell. Hijikata was about to dive right in to catch him, but Gintoki reassured him that it's fine. It was just about almost two meters, but that looked like the longest walk for Hijikata when his son finally made it to him.

"Mmmah!"

"D—did you just—" Hijikata was speechless. He took the child in his arms then held him up. He's completely unaware of Gintoki's stunned face upon seeing him that happy. "See? You can actually do it after all if you stop being a lazy potato, yeah?"

"Mmmm"

Hijikata chuckled as suddenly, he paused in realization. "Yorozuya—! Did— did you—"

"Yes, I recorded everything. The entire exclusive footage costs 1,000 yen," Gintoki said with an open palm, already asking for payment. 

"HAH? Why would I pay?! My son is the star in there! We have the right over the copyright!"

"What kind of rule is that? That's not included in the contract!"

"What contract? You have no right to talk about copyright when you violate every copyright policy in every episode!"

"That's too much oi! It's not in every episode! Come on, I gave him all the strawberry milk I had left! That sealed the deal!" Gintoki insisted. To his surprise, Hijikata started laughing. Why is this idiot suddenly laughing? 

"So, you bribed him huh? No wonder this lazy sprout sure made an effort," Hijikata chuckled as he patted the kid's little perm head. There goes the weird sensation again. What's happening? 

 

"...Gintoki, thank you," 

Hijikata's face was completely free from any evidence of his frown, and his smile was too genuine... and gentle. Gintoki felt a familiar strum of his heart strings. Why did it feel so familiar?

"You think you guys can drop by on the 10th?" Gintoki then asked. Hijikata didn't have to ask why because he knew that it's Gintoki's birthday. 

"Yeah,"

.  
.  
.  
.

The yorozuya household was already lively when Hijikata arrived there with Ichigo. He knocked the door and Kagura immediately opened the door with a disapproving look. 

"You're late aru!"

"We're not. You're just normally rowdy in here," Hijikata said. He then entered and handed Ichigo to Shinpachi. Apparently, Gintoki was not there yet and the kids are just fighting over the decorations. 

"Thank you, Hijikata-san." Shinpachi smiled. 

"For what?" Hijikata asked. 

"For bringing Ichigo-chan here," Shinpachi replied. "You know how much Gin-san loves him even without knowing he's his own."

"I know," Hijikata said. "Tell him Happy Birthday for me." Hijikata waved his hand as he retreated to the door. 

"Eh? You're not staying?"

"I've got work to finish," He said then went on his way outside. He didn't plan to stay long to begin with. Truth be told, he's not really busy with work. He's just thinking of checking paperworks to kill time until it's time to pick Ichigo. 

 

When Gintoki came back, he didn't expect the kids and Otose to prepare a celebration for him. Aside from the people in the Snack Smile, Otae was also there. Sure enough, he was surprised. He looked so happy when he saw Ichigo and held the baby. He began to wonder though... 

"Where is Hijikata?" He looked around. 

"Ah, Hijikata-san left because he said he's got work to do."

"Really? But I made sure Toshi gets his day off today," Kondo popped out of nowhere. If there's Otae, sure enough, the gorilla will follow. 

"Ah, is that so?" Gintoki hummed. 

The celebration continued and the house was filled with noise and laughter (mostly just fighting over the meat). When everyone was already beaten up and exhausted, the party slowly died down. Otose and the others left, Kondo's beaten up body was sprawled on the floor with his hairy butt on display, Madao was asleep on the floor with booze in his hand and Kagura was asleep in her closet. 

Gintoki was then lying on the couch with Ichigo laying down on his chest. His eyes were close, but he's completely awake especially when he heard Shinpachi open the door for someone and he felt that Ichigo was slowly being pulled away from him. He immediately grabbed the person's arm, and sure enough, it was Hijikata. 

"Where were you, Mayora? Waiting in line for the mayonnaise give away sale? The gorilla said you're off today," Gintoki gave him a bored look.

"I had to do something. That's all,"

"Oh, Oogushi-kun got Gin-san a gift. Aww, you're making Gin-san blush,"

"As if!" Hijikata hissed then took the sleeping baby in his arms.

"You missed the cake," Gintoki sat up. 

"I'm not really fond of sweets, Ichigo is," Hijikata said. 

"Is that so? You poor people who don't appreciate sweets, really. Good thing Ichigo is not one of your kind," Gintoki shook his head.

"Oh shut up," Hijikata growled then pulled something out of his pocket then tossed it to Gintoki, "I don't like sweets, so you can have that."

Gintoki stared at him in confusion then checked the sweet that Hijikata gave him. "This is an expensive brand. Wow, you really went all out for me, Hijikata-kun,"

"I—I just got that from an old woman I helped this morning! B—besides, I'm not giving it to you because it's your birthday! I just don't like sweets!"

"Ah~ why do I attract tsunderes?" Gintoki sighed and began eating what Hijikata gave him.

"Who are you calling a tsundere?!"

"This tastes really good, so I'm going to forgive you for not showing up earlier." Gintoki said. 

"Ha?"

"Don't play dumb. I invited you. Of course I waited, you jerk," 

.  
.  
.

Winter came and the snow grew thicker day by day. Today, Gintoki was hired to keep an eye on Namaye as well. They can't leave her alone in the barracks and most of the men are out including Hijikata and Sougo. 

"Why do I feel like I'm looking after two children?" Gintoki mumbled as he was on his way to the grocery with Ichigo in his arms and Namaye following suit behind him. 

Namaye merely smiled at that. She continued walking by stepping on the tracks of Gintoki's boots in the thick snow. It's not that big as she used to remember. Perhaps it's just that her feet just grew. Gintoki noticed this and smiled upon the sight when he looked behind his back where Namaye looked like she's playing. 

"You sure look like you're having fun,"

"Yeah. I used to do this when I walk behind my old man. Well, that was back when I was a kid and it wasn't this easy. My legs were too short back then and the idiot oyaji will mess with me by striding. I had to freaking leap just to reach the next footprint."

"Oho? So you think you can keep up now?" Gintoki grinned. 

"Is that a challenge?" Namaye raised a brow. 

"If you have the guts, it is," Gintoki then began taking the biggest leaps his legs can manage, leaving his tracks with huge gaps between them. "If you step beyond my tracks, you lose!"

"You're on!"

Unexpectedly, looks like Namaye's agility is no joke so the perm head decided to make it more challenging and leapt then land on tip toes hoping Namaye would land out of the tracks. Apparently, upon further observation, that didn't stop Namaye though it slowed her down a bit, being more careful this time. Gintoki then resorted to something different and threw snowballs at her, causing her to fall on her back. 

"You big cheater!" Namaye protested while covered in snow. 

"Oh? Come on, I thought you said you can keep up." Gintoki said with a voice dripping with mockery. 

"I can keep up alright." She stood up and grabbed two handful of snowballs. That's how the chase with a snowball fight started. Ichigo decided to join when Gintoki let him sit around and play in the snow on his own.

 

...

"What was that?" Hijikata asked Sougo as they heard a noise around the corner while they're on their rounds. 

"Who knows," Sougo shrugged. 

"I'll go and check," Hijikata said then went to the direction of the chaotic noise. Honestly, it's not anymore that surprising to find Gintoki having a snowball fight with Namaye. Hijikata sighed and stepped closer. It was when Namaye threw a snowball to Gintoki and the perm head effectively dodged it. In result, Hijikata, who was just behind Gintoki was the one who got hit on the face. 

 

"Ah— Hijikata-san! I didn't mean—"

"You guys..." Hijikata wiped the snow off his face, revealing a menacing grin, "...are so dead."

"Eh?" 

Hijikata suddenly took a handful of snow and Gintoki pulled Namaye's arm to make a run for it.   
_Eh? Eehhh???_ Hijikata is joining in?? Sure enough, Hijikata attacked. Ichigo was then recruited by the team as Gintoki took him and placed him on his shoulders like a hostage. 

"Oi, that's unfair!" Hijikata complained. "Put Ichigo down! He can't protect himself yet, you prick!"

"You better not aim for him then,"

The four began running around and they don't even know what they're doing anymore. Sougo smiled at the sight as he took a sip of his coffee. They're too lively in such cold weather. 

.  
.  
.  
.

 

"Hiiiijikaaata-kuuuun,"

"Shut up,"

What's happening? It was Hijikata's day off and he was spending the entire day with Ichigo. He doesn't usually get his day off, but he's looking forward to it every time now. That's the only day he can spend the entire day with the kid. With all Ichigo's energy used, he went to bed early. Hijikata then realized that they're out of some stuff, so he went to go to the grocery store and asked Tetsu to watch over the kid while he's out. 

He didn't even reach the grocery store upon seeing the piss drunk yorozuya sleeping on a pile of trash. He clicked his tongue and kicked the drunk gently just to wake him up. Not long enough, he regretted deciding to help him back home. The annoying jerk just couldn't shut up. 

 

"Why do ye hafta be so siryes? You know this really gorgeous m—woman in the okama club? I can introduce ya to 'er. I can guarantee she's the one in yer wet dreams. She's called Paako and reeeaally amazing in bed—"

"I'm not interested about prostitution!"

"It's not prostitution if you date 'er. See? If yah date 'ch other, you dun hafta pay her. Just pay fer the love hotel,"

"If this woman is that amazing, then date her yourself, stupid," 

"You still wait for Ichigo's other parent," Gintoki's annoying voice suddenly shifted into something serious. Hijikata couldn't find the right words to answer that, so he remained silent instead. 

"You dun.. Havta wait for that bitch to remember coming home to you," Gintoki grumbled in his drunken stupor. "Someone over here wants you to come home to him instead, Hijibaka."

Hijikata sighed and looked away. The drunk is talking nonsense. He preferred not to meet the idiot's gaze and pretend this is just another random drunk. However, the yorozuya boss wasn't exactly fond of being ignored, so he roughly pulled Hijikata's day off kimono to force him into facing him. 

"Where the hell are you looking? He's over here, stupid!" Gintoki yelled right at his face then without a warning, he forcibly kissed Hijikata. 

 

.  
.  
.  
.

 

Gintoki woke up in the morning and realized that he wasn't exactly wasted enough to forget what happened the night before. 

"Aaaaaaaah!!! What the hell?!" Gintoki rolled over back and forth on his futon. "How would I explain that to him???"

He's sure Hijikata was disgusted with all of that. Hijikata is definitely straight, isn't he? That's not the only thing that bothers him though. He slept on a pile of trash that looked comfortable enough to his drunken stupor, so he definitely stink! He also puked a lot so he probably tasted like vomit when he suddenly kissed the mayora! Not to mention that he puked again after all that then passed out! Who wouldn't be disgusted by that??? 

Just on his luck, he heard Hijikata knocking on the door. Okay, what now? Pretend that it never happened. Yup. Hijikata is the type who doesn't want to talk about stuff like that that can put shame on himself as well. Perfect. 

He went out of bed and went on with it like how he usually does. Hijikata was eerily silent for a while and that's not a very good sign. It's like a ticking bomb. Hijikata might throw the big question—

"Yorozuya, about last night—" Fuck it. 

"Ah that. I was really drunk, wasn't I? Did I say something weird? O—or did I _do_ something _really_ weird? Sorry about that. It was really my bad. I was too drunk. I don't remember a thing," Gintoki said. 

Hijikata was about to say something, but then, nothing went out of his mouth. That's it then. 

"I see. I should go. Take care of Ichigo," Hijikata stood up and took his leave. 

"Y—yeah," Gintoki was utterly at loss of words. He didn't want Hijikata to leave like that. _Was that... disappointment? Fuck! Don't go assuming things, Gintoki!_

Hijikata paused briefly after he closed the door behind him. He's right then. Gintoki was just too drunk to realize what he said or did. 

 

.  
.  
.

Hijikata didn't hire Gintoki for babysitting after that for a while. That's mostly because he's been busy helping out in Sakamoto's mess in the outer space. Gintoki can't help but think how they're doing back there though. The damn mayora could just send him an email. What's so hard about that? Oh. The thing is, why would Hijikata email him by the way? 

Gintoki can only sigh to himself. "I'm being too attached to the kid, aren't I?"

When they finally made it back home, Hijikata still didn't drop by. Gintoki started to feel ~~worried~~ agitated. Good thing he didn't resort to sneaking in the Shinsengumi barracks because he happened to catch Sougo hanging out with Kagura in a dango stand. The two were not fighting unlike usual and it looked like they're talking about something. It still seemed like the exchange of insults were still ever present though. 

"I didn't know you're taking our Kagura out on a date, Souchiro-kun,"

"It's not a date, Danna. I'm just buying her food because I lost a bet," Sougo replied monotonously. 

"That's right aru. Why would you even think of something so disgusting like that?"

"Ah, that's right. You don't look like you're going out on a date since you look like shit, Okita-kun."

"The past few days, the Shinsengumi has been really busy and we're all short in manpower because we got a few wounded personnel after the stakeout and now the flu spread faster than gossip. Everyone who're still fit enough were forced to work double time. Even Namaye, who's supposed to be our detainee has been like our doctor now," Sougo ranted out in the same monotonous voice in a saggy stupor. "Speaking about that, I was just telling China here that since you guys are finally back, we could really use some arms for hire."

"Well then, I won't say no to money. Kagura, call Patsuan. We're taking the job,"

.....

 

The yorozuya trio didn't expect what they saw when they got to the barracks. Sougo did tell them about the flu and wounded officers, but the entire place looked sick. Namaye was busy tending her patients when Sougo called her. She clicked her tongue and left whatever she was doing to go over them. 

Gintoki didn't notice much before, but he looked a lot like Hijikata with her hair tied up into a ponytail. She's wearing frameless glasses though. Hijikata would probably look hot wearing glasses t— WHAT?! FUCK NO! Stop it Gintoki! 

"Areh~ I see that mommy tied your hair up again today. Are you doing that on purpose? You like it when he ties your hair up, don't you?" Sougo drawled. 

"If that's what you called me for, I'm going back to my job," Namaye growled. 

"Oh you're no fun. Here, I need you to tell China and glasses of what to do around here and I'll fill Danna in," Sougo replied. 

"Fine," Namaye said with a defeated sigh. "Kagura-san, Shinpachi-san, please follow me." Namaye then led the yorozuya kids to the office while Sougo took Gintoki to the opposite direction. While they were walking on the veranda, Sougo suddenly paused, making Gintoki stop as well. 

"Ah great. I forgot the keys. Wait for me here, Danna. I'll be back in a minute," Sougo said as he went back on his steps. Gintoki was then left there to sit on the overhang and stare at the garden. He can't help but wonder where Ichigo and Hijikata were. He thankfully didn't find them among the wounded and sick officers in the dojo. Like an answer to his thoughts, he suddenly heard a familiar cry. 

_"Ichigo?"_ Gintoki immediately shot up on his feet and followed the crying voice. Once he found the source, he confirmed that it was indeed Ichigo, to his surprise, Kondo was the one carrying him inside Hijikata's room. 

"Shh. Uncle Kondo got you okay?" Kondo tried to hush the baby, but Ichigo only cried harder. 

"Mama!!!" Ichigo cried. 

"Mama is just over there, see?"

"Maaaaa!"

"Come on. Your Mama isn't really feeling well, you know?" 

"It's okay, Kondo-san. It's my fault he's acting like this," Gintoki then heard Hijikata's nasal voice. He did sound sick. He took a peek through the sliding door and saw Hijikata wearing a face mask. He was then comforting the unwell child. "Shh, it's okay. I'm sorry, Kondo-san. He doesn't understand how uncomfortable he's feeling right now. He wouldn't have caught the flu if it wasn't because of me,"

"That's nonsense Toshi! Just focus on getting well, okay? You and Ichigo-kun will be fine." Kondo then excused himself and said he'll grab something to comfort the baby, and that's Gintoki's cue to step away and pretend that he wasn't eavesdropping that bad. 

"Oh, Gin-sa—" Gintoki dragged the gorilla away while covering the said gorilla's mouth. 

"You're too loud. Well, what happened? Everyone looks like shit," Gintoki said. Obviously, by _"everyone"_ , he meant just Hijikata and Ichigo. Kondo didn't point it out, and just smiled.

"Eya, it's really chaotic. It's during times like this that Toshi realize how hard it is to be a single parent. He left the baby on Otose-san during the stakeout since they said you're in space." Kondo bashfully scratched the back of his head. 

"Then email me, stupid gorilla," Gintoki said with a frown evident on his face. 

"Well, I did suggest that, but Toshi decided against demanding something from you. Though he was heavily injured, he insisted on coming back for Ichigo. He tried to do everything at the same time, and that made him vulnerable to the flu."

"I'm guessing Ichigo caught the flu from him,"

"He can barely keep his balance, but he still took care of Ichigo since uh... I think you heard how hard the kid cried for being separated from him. Toshi doesn't want the baby crying; that's why, even with cautious treatment, Ichigo still caught his flu."

"I see, I see. Okita-kun sort of hired us for extra limbs around here, so I'll handle them," Gintoki said with his pinky pricking his nose. 

"Really? That's a relief, Gin-san! It's really a great thing for you guys to help around here," Kondo said with a wide smile. He's a really happy guy, isn't he? "I'll check on the others then! You have everything you might need inside. If you need anything else, you can ask me,"

"Yeah, sure." With that, Kondo made his leave and Gintoki went inside the room where Hijikata was rocking Ichigo in hopes of making the kid feel better, or at least distract him from the discomfort. 

"What are you doing here?" Hijikata asked, noticing his presence. 

"I'm hired to take care of few stuff, namely, you and your kid," Gintoki said. "Now, go lay down and give Ichigo to Gin-sensei,"

"What makes you a doctor? You're just a caregiver," Hijikata glared, though he still gave Ichigo to him. 

"Doctors take good care of patients. I don't see the difference," Gintoki said while trying to calm Ichigo down. 

Hijikata was too tired and unwell to argue with him, and he trusts that Gintoki won't let anything happen to the kid, so he finally let himself relax and immediately fell asleep. 

As soon as Gintoki managed to get Ichigo to sleep, he placed him down on the crib he found in Hijikata's room. Next, he began wiping Hijikata down and noticed a familiar mark on his wrist. He took the mayora's hand and examined it closer. It looks exactly the same alright. When did he and Hijikata had twining with matching tattoos? 

 

Namaye went inside Hijikata's room to give the medicine and to her surprise, she found Gintoki inside, wiping Hijikata down. 

"Sakata-san?"

"Oh, I'm looking after this idiot for now," Gintoki replied. 

"I've got their medicine. This one is—. Sakata-san, I think you shouldn't rearrange his paperwork. Hijikata-san will get mad for sure," 

"This guy really. What was he thinking? He can't do kagebunshin no jutsu. He can't do everything at the same time." Gintoki recited his litany to the unconscious Shinsengumi vice commander. "Get another job, won't you? What would happen to your kid if something happens to you hah?"

"Yeah. It's really hard raising kids in this line of work," Namaye smiled. 

_  
Tsukuyo insisted that he should stay and have his wounds treated first, but he can't stay another minute or more away from home. Gintoki pushed himself up the stairs with Shinpachi's help and when he announced "tadaima," he immediately heard footsteps thumping loudly to the doorway._

_"Tou-san is here! Tou-san is back!"_

_"Papa!"_

_The kids rushed to him. His five years old daughter hugged him tightly and Ichigo jumped to cling onto him that he almost fell on his butt. Otae then appeared next, watching the sight before her as he checked her little brother from any dire damage._

_"You look like poop, tou-san," Ichigo complained and scrunched up his nose, "You smell gross too,"_

_"It's the new trend in fashion and there's a matching perfume for it. Your old man is so trendy you see?" Gintoki chuckled as he ruffled his son's raven perm hair._

_"Why are you covered in blood papa? Are you hurt?" his daughter asked with teary eyes. With how swollen it looked, Gintoki knew that she's been crying all day. This is basically why he wanted to be home as soon as he can. His daughter is a big crybaby especially when he's gone._

_"No, not really. Your papa here just spilled ketchup while eating lunch,"_

_"That's not what Jimmy-san said! You're a liar papa!" oh nonono. She's crying again._

_"No no no shhh. I'm alright, see? Papa is just clumsy eating his lunch," Gintoki comforted his daughter._

_"I thought you said you'll stop lying to us!" Ichigo complained._

_"And I thought I told you to prevent your sister from crying again, young man," Gintoki said and winced as he collected his crying daughter in his arms._

_"I did! Jimmy-san came with Sora and told us you were fighting bad guys with China Boss and glasses ni-chan! He said you'll get hurt for sure! That's why she kept on looking for you! We were— she was worried you wouldn't be back like mama!" Ichigo said and no matter how hard he's trying to hold back his tears, Gintoki knew how hard he wanted to cry. Ichigo was too young, but he understood enough when Hijikata no longer came back home alive. The funeral was too much for the kid to handle too. Gintoki couldn't blame him for thinking the same about him._

_Damn that cherry old man. He's old too old to be called boy now, yeah. Gintoki sighed and took his son in his arms as well despite the fact that his body was screaming in pain._

_There were a lot of times he almost faced death and before, he wouldn't care as much, but he had every reason to refuse dying. He had kids waiting for him back home and he can't find it in him to leave them anytime soon. His daughter looks too much like Hijikata, and it tears him apart everytime the poor girl cried. The last time he saw Hijikata alive, he was crying hard, begging him to save their daughter instead. Now that he did save her, he wouldn't want to see that over and over again in their daughter's face. Never.  
_  
.  
.  
.

 

When Ichigo turned one, Hijikata intended to throw a private celebration, but things never go as planned. The entire Shinsengumi were so enthusiastic about it. People in the Snack Smile came along with Otae and more people came uninvited like Sarutobi, Madao(who just wanted free food) and Katsura, who called himself Captain Katsura. Kondo and Katsura ended up having a contest of who's the real/BEST uncle and Sougo destroyed half of the venue with Kagura. Those two sure has a unique sense of showing affection. 

 

It isn't just Hijikata who felt hopeless. Gintoki finds the entire ordeal hopeless too. He's thinking that Hijikata was still waiting for Ichigo's other parent, and he doesn't stand a chance until he finally finds himself a shot. Months turned into a year and more months came. Ichigo blew his third candle and it was as lively as it always was. Time flew by so fast as they felt that Ichigo is just growing so fast. Maybe they just don't wanna admit that they're growing old too and it's not just the baby. 

"Dada! Dada! Look! Boss gave me this!" Ichigo waved the kunai as he rushed from the doorway. This time, Sougo was the one who took him to the yorozuya household. 

"Okita-kun! For goodness sake, stop giving dangerous stuff to Ichigo!" Gintoki complained and immediately confiscated the heinous thing out of the child's reach. 

"I'm training him to become an assassin, of course," Sougo shrugged. 

"This is why Hijikata shouldn't let Ichigo hang around you. Speaking of that mayora, where is he? Why are you the one bringing Ichigo?"

"Oh, he's busy about preparing for his demotion," 

"Demotion?" Gintoki raised his brows. 

"Why not have a heart to heart talk about it? Maybe that's just what he needs. I'll be going, Danna."

"Yeah," Gintoki wondered what Sougo meant by that so he went and called Hijikata to ask what's going on. 

"Oi, oi, ex-fukucho-san. I heard from Okita-kun that you got demoted. He suggested that I should give you a comforting call," Gintoki said, monotonously. "Do you want Gin-san to give you a virtual hug?"

"Ha?? Who's demoted?! I'm not demoted, idiot! I'm just temporarily reassigned for a job outside Edo," Hijikata said. 

"How about Ichigo?" Gintoki said, giving the said kid a glance. 

"It's nothing dangerous, so I'm bringing him with me."

"Ah." Gintoki suddenly felt his heart sink. "Who's gonna look after him while you're working? Don't act like naruto on me again here,"

"I already made Sougo arrange things for that," so it's someone else.

"You can always ask me," Gintoki frowned. 

"You can't leave Edo, especially when I'm not here. You've got the kids to look after too. Don't worry about Ichigo."

"Okay," no, it's damn not okay. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow. That's why I have to prepare everything now."

"I see. Sorry for keeping you then. Bye," Gintoki put the phone down and sighed. "You guys are going away, huh?"

"Mmm," the kid nodded. "Boss said I'll have a new friend," 

"That's cool. You hungry?"

"Strawberry milk!"

"That doesn't answer my question," Gintoki complained, though he's already getting the milk in the fridge. 

The two perm heads settled on the couch and lazed around while watching TV until Ichigo began to ask. 

"Ne, dada. Why aren't you and mama together?" Ichigo asked out of the blue. "Boss said mamas and dadas should be together,"

"That's because... Your mama is still waiting for your other parent." Gintoki sighed. 

"Dada is here," Ichigo glanced at him, quite confused. 

"Yeah, but I'm not really your dada. Hijikata is your father. The sadist has been teaching you stupid things."

"Mama is mama," the child insisted. 

"Hijikata is a man. Jeez. They should've corrected that misconception now,"

"Ichigo is right. Mama is mama. Dada is stupid."

"Oi! Watch it— Where did you learn that word?!"

"Dada said _stupid things_ ," Ichigo answered with a straight face. 

Gintoki groaned. "Don't say that ever again okay? Hijikata is going to kill me."

.  
.  
.  
.

The actual day the two left, Kagura sobbed and hugged Ichigo like crazy, saying, "Don't forget to write to grandma,". If Kagura sobbed, Kondo cried a river and Ichigo just gave his cheek a painful tug and told him he looks uglier when he cries. Gintoki on the other hand, just stood there with a smile. Ichigo ran to him and gave him a tight hug. The yorozuya boss dropped his smile and hugged back just as tight. He has no idea when he'd be able to see the kid again. 

"I'm gonna miss you, kiddo," he whispered. 

"Mama too?"

"Yeah.."

"Mama! Dada said he'll Miss you!" Ichigo called out before Gintoki can stop him. Hijikata's talk with Kondo was put into an end as everyone's attention was now on them. "He'll be lonely! Give him a hug!"

"Uh..." Hijikata was not sure of what to do until Sougo announced to everyone that the one he hired to help look after Ichigo is here. 

"It's nice to see you again, Hijikata-san. I see that Ichigo-kun has grown as well," Sakata Kintoki made an entrance. It immediately pissed Gintoki off. 

"Oh, Kintoki. I didn't expect Sougo to hire you," Hijikata replied. 

"Oi, mama," Gintoki immediately stole Hijikata's attention back. "Where's my hug? Dada is going to be lonely, right, Ichigo?"

"Mmm!" the kid nodded.

Hijikata glared, but still went to hug Gintoki. The perm head is sure is messing around, isn't he? He intended to just give him a small hug and a pat on the back, but Gintoki had other ideas. He hugged Hijikata possessively and glared at Kintoki, sending a silent message, that was crystal clear to anyone who saw it. 

 

.  
.  
.  
.

A month has passed and Gintoki only heard from them twice. It was just mostly Ichigo on the phone though. That was enough somehow, but it's still different. It's so strange when you usually spend your days with some people and now they're suddenly gone? Isn't that why graduations are very dramatic? Gintoki can only sigh. 

"You want a job, Danna?" Sougo asked when he caught Gintoki lazying around in the dango stand. 

"Sure, sure. What is it?"

"I want you to sort out the stuff in the barracks," Sougo replied. 

"You mean clean it?"

"Yup,"

With nothing to do, Gintoki killed his time cleaning the Shinsengumi barracks he got across confidential files, but he didn't give them any particular care until he saw Hijikata's picture in it. Officers aren't supposed to be in such records, right? He checked the contents and realized what it's all about. 

 

"That's so lame, Danna," Sougo said, "I didn't know you're into our paperwork now. Well, while you're at it, you can do my paperwork too,"

"Is this one of the stuff that I'm supposed to remember?" Gintoki waved the file with all the information about the parasitic amanto, in which Gintoki's involvement was mentioned, though not that detailed and explicit. Sougo knew that Gintoki is actually sharp in figuring things out though.   
"It says here that males can actually get pregnant, and as a proof for the match about who's the other random parent, both parents will have a distinct mark. I saw Hijikata's mark on his wrist. It's exactly the same with the one I have on my arm."

"You should totally join our intel unit Danna. That's quite—"

"Is Ichigo mine?" Gintoki asked urgently. He didn't have the patience to buy Sougo's filler lines. 

Seeing Gintoki's dead serious face, Sougo smirked and said, "It's about fucking time, Danna,"

"Where are they?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo was 6 months old when he started talking and 9 months when he began to walk. That's October then. Just a few days before Gintoki's birthday.


	26. Fixing 3years Worth of Mess in a Day?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years of broken relationship. What's your resolve when it's finally here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for being really late! Errors ahead

It's was almost a half day travel away from Edo. Gintoki can only groan. He sure is away from home, but he didn't complain about being there. He mostly complained about the weather and the hours he spent in absolute boredom mixed with confusion and dread while he held Sougo captive. Why did he have to travel then? Well, he has no idea when Hijikata and Ichigo will be back (with Kintoki, but honestly, Gintoki hoped he got all his screw loose and deemed worthless to Hijikata so he can be dumped in a junk dump in the middle of nowhere). Not to mention, Sougo said Hijikata has been traveling from place to place. He wanted to confront him as soon as freaking possible because it's been almost four years late for this. 

Sougo didn't tell him much aside from important facts like Hijikata lived with him for almost a year throughout his pregnancy and even after birth until he lost his memory about it. He cursed underneath his breath for not remembering. He really still can't, but it would've been nice to remember and know everything that happened. He felt like he missed out most of the important stuff like how Hijikata and the baby almost died in some instances.

 

"Danna, why am I still tied up?" Sougo asked monotonously. "I helped you get here. Shouldn't you be releasing me right now? I promise I won't arrest you afterwards for threatening an officer."

"I'll release you once I see them. That's the deal, right?"

"Give me a break, Danna. I told you everything you have to know including your coming out story. What else do you want from me?"

"What's the big idea of hiring Kintoki huh?" Gintoki then asked. 

"So that's what you're antsy about. You look the same, right? Ju-yon would be more comfortable with a familiar face, don't you think?"

"What if my son will have a new favorite, huh?! What are you going to do about that?!" Gintoki exclaimed. 

"What new favorite are you talking about, Danna? I'll always be Ju-yon's favorite. I'm not threatened by a mere robot."

"What do you mean you're his favorite?! I'm his dad! I'm obviously his favorite!"

"It's not how that works you know," Sougo replied. "Don't get so insecure now, Danna. Ju-yon already knew you're his father from the very beginning. Hijikata-san must've lied to you, but never to the kid. If you just got a clue from all the stuff Ju-yon has been giving off, it wouldn't have taken us three years and counting."

"How is the kid not confused with all of that?" surely, the kid should be confused at some (a lot actually) point, right? 

"You underestimate his faith on me, Danna. I told you, I'm his favorite. He'll never question what I teach him," Sougo said with overflowing confidence. 

"Why you—"

"Oh look, it's Hijikata-san." Sougo pointed Hijikata from a distance who was buying a cigarette from the vending machine. 

"Yo, Hijikata-kun. Back to chain-smoking now, I see," Gintoki greeted. Hijikata then looked his way and surprise was evident on his features. 

 

"What are you doing here?" Hijikata asked, still quite baffled. 

Gintoki abandoned the tied down sadist and went on straight to Hijikata. Hijikata just stared at him with confusion as the perm head got closer. Everything went into a slow motion in every step Gintoki got closer, and the moment the perm head was close enough... he punched Hijikata straight on the face. And you think it's going to be roses and rainbows. Nah, Gintoki was pissed off, and a kinda frustrated. 

"Ah, that feels so much better," Gintoki said with relief in his tone. 

"WHAT THE HELL YOROZUYA?! YOU WANNA DIE?!" Hijikata got up and pulled Gintoki's shirt. They stared at each other's eyes and while Hijikata gave him a death glare, Gintoki flashed his trademark dead fish eyes. 

"This makes me wanna punch you again a lot harder," Gintoki said. Before Hijikata can reply, the yorozuya boss bumped their heads, and that's how the stupid brawl erupted. Hijikata kicked his thigh and the perm crouched in pain. He then punched Hijikata to pin him down on the ground and straddle on top of him.   
"I can't believe you! How how long have you been lying to me?!" Gintoki's words were then enough for Hijikata to understand what's going on and with an accusing glare, he glanced at Sougo. 

"Don't look at me, Hijikata-san. He found out because of the paperwork you left unorganized." Sougo, who's still tied up, said. 

"It wasn't unorganized!"

"Oi!" Gintoki grabbed his cheeks and forced him to look his way again. "We're the ones talking here. Care to explain why you hid everything from me, asshole?"

"You didn't want to do anything about us when you woke up without your memory! How did you want me to break the news to you when you're your asshole self ah?! I wanted you to know, but I hate forcing people into taking responsibility especially when they don't want anything to do with me or my kid!"

"Three years, now almost four, and you still think I don't give a fuck?! I couldn't fucking do anything because you said you're waiting for someone to fucking remember! You could've just said that it's me all along! It would've saved us all from the trouble!"

"What could it save us? Your bitchy insults?!"

"Why would I insult you?!"

"That's the first thing you did after waking up without your memory, you jerk!"

"Then the more reason you should've told me you're dating me, son-of-a-bitch!"

"Wow, isn't that just easy? Do you even remember your words when you saw me on your bedside? China and Glasses tried to tell you that we're a thing, but what did you say? _Why would I date this mayora?! I don't swing that way, Patsuan!_ "

"I'm sorry okay? I thought they're just messing around with me!" Gintoki tried to explain, and Hijikata just gritted his teeth then looked away. Clearly, he was still carrying the weight of those words. Gintoki sighed. Thinking back about it, he really did say such hurtful things, and he had no idea he's been dating Hijikata then. What can he do?? He didn't know, but clearly, it's not enough to erase the crack that lingered in Hijikata's chest.   
"Hey, listen. They've been doing that since they began to suspect that I actually like you. I thought the kids we're making fun of me, that's why I said those stuff."

"I know..." Hijikata said with resignation on his tone, but still refused to look at him. 

"No, you don't. Look at me. I'm really sorry I can't remember, and I still can't. But you didn't have to hide everything from me! Break the news to me, talk to me! I feel like the biggest idiot of the century for not confronting you sooner why Ichigo looks so much like me and likes things I like. I thought it's just my influence. It couldn't make sense to me until I read the files!"

 

"...So you still don't remember?" Hijikata blinked. 

"Of course I still don't. I don't have to remember. Who the hell told you I didn't give a fuck when I thought you knocked someone up?" Gintoki said. His voice was calmer as he began to caress Hijikata's cheek with his thumb, and Hijikata just remained completely still under his touches. "You should've just told Gin-san you're already his. I really thought—"

"Ahem," Sougo cleared his throat and the two tore their gazes away from each other and found Ichigo standing still with eyes carefully evaluating the situation he caught with Kintoki behind him. 

"Uh... Ichigo," Hijikata said, the bruise of the punch was then more visible when he glanced at the kid. 

"Who hit you, mama?" Ichigo asked innocently, though the look on his face could kill. The grim aura around him was foreboding. 

_"What's with that look, Hijikata-kun? I never saw him like that,"_ Gintoki asked telepathically. It happens in Gintama, so deal with it. 

_"You think Sougo has been bluffing when he said he'd train the kid to kill? He's doing that a lot behind my back!"_

_"What should we do oi?! He'd hate me if you throw me in!"_

_"You should've thought about that before you punched me and left evidence on my face, dumbass!"_

 

"Dada?" the two snapped out of it. "Why are you riding my mama?"

"Ah— we're just playing," Gintoki replied and pulled Hijikata up in a snap then tapped the dirt out of his clothes. "It's pro wrestling, ne Hijikata-kun?"

"Y-yeah. Pro wrestling," Hijikata said with reluctance. He doesn't lie to the kid after all. 

"Really? Why didn't you tell Ichigo you're coming Dada? Kin-chan and I could've bought another strawberry ice cream!" the heinous aura suddenly vanished when he smiled. 

"Ah, Kin-chan, huh?" Gintoki's smile was so forced as he met Kintoki's cold one. 

"Yup! Kin-chan is really amazing! He made me a chocolate parfait yesterday because they don't sell it here!"

"Woah, isn't he an amazing guy?" Gintoki said sarcastically. Good thing Ichigo was too happy to detect his sarcasm. 

"Let's go buy Dada another one, Kin-chan!" Ichigo enthusiastically took Kintoki's hand. 

"Of course," Kintoki smiled. 

"Ah, no no no," Gintoki immediately called it off, "No need for that. I'm fine, so you don't have to buy another,"

"Really?" Ichigo tilted his head in confusion. 

"Yup, really," Gintoki nodded. "I'm just tired from the travel,"

"Oh! Let's take them home mama! Boss looks stuffy too. Why are you tied up like that, boss? You said you're an S. That's an M knot."

"What have you been teaching my kid, Sougo?!" Hijikata reacted. 

"No worries about this one. I was just asking Danna this new type of knot, and he just showed me how it's done," Sougo replied. 

"Oh? You going to teach me too?" Ichigo asked with excitement in his voice. 

"Yes, if you would kindly untie—"

"No! You're not infecting him with your sadism! You stay tied down right there!" Hijikata vehemently disagreed. 

"But mama!"

"No," Hijikata gave him _the_ look, and almost automatically, Ichigo dropped it. Ichigo (even Namaye) won't push it when it comes to _the look_.

"You're all useless. Kintoki, untie me," Sougo deadpanned. 

"I'm sorry, Okita-san," Kintoki replied, "I don't want Hijikata-san to hate me,"

"Wow, really now? I hired you, wire brain," Sougo groaned. "Untie me,"

"Hijikata-san is the one I'm serving,"

"Stop trying, because that closet homo's boyfriend now knows the truth, so he won't look at you,"

"Yup, not a fat chance," Gintoki agreed. 

Hijikata groaned and facepalmed. "Can you guys stop? Ichigo can hear you,"

"Kin-chan likes mama?" Ichigo blinked, wanting anyone to confirm or disprove the information. 

"No, he doesn't," Hijikata sighed. "I told you to drop it, Sougo,"

"Oh, but I do, Hijikata-san," Kintoki smiled like he didn't just say something awkward. 

"Uh—" Hijikata wasn't sure what to say and Ichigo was just glancing around at everyone's reaction to observe whatever is happening. 

"It's okay, Hijikata-san. You don't have to answer now. I know It's not the most romantic way for me to confess, but I'd rather say it now rather than let you think otherwise,"

"You sure had the nerve to say that with me here," Gintoki huffed. 

"What makes you think he'd still go for you after all these years?"

"Because he waited for me, cyborg,"

"Not while I'm here," Kintoki gave a challenging smirk, and that did it. Gintoki was immediately pissed, realizing that it can have some truth in it, considering the fact that he never heard from Hijikata while he was away. It was all Ichigo on the phone. Fuck.

 

"Not in front of the kid, jeez!" Hijikata broke the tension and took Ichigo's hand. This shouldn't drag on. 

"Gintoki, do something about Sougo. He shouldn't be here. Who's left with the Shinsengumi? Kondo-san ditches work over stalking that Shimura woman, and Takasugi can come back anytime to fetch Namaye. Send him back home," Hijikata ordered as he made it on his way home with the kid. 

"Ah?" Gintoki complained. "Why me?"

"You dragged him here," Hijikata replied as Kintoki followed him and took Ichigo's other hand. It automatically ignited an ugly spark in Gintoki's chest, because that was supposed to be him! What the hell is that robot trying to do?! Replacing him?! 

"Uh, Danna. You should really untie me now, or Kintoki will keep on stepping way ahead of y—" Sougo was immediately silenced once Gintoki swung his sword that cut the rope that tied him down. Okay, this war.   
"Uh, Danna?"

"The boss said go home, Okita-kun. Go home and maybe I'll give you a shot with our Kagura," Gintoki said as he walked away. 

"I don't want your uncivilized pig. Do the society a favor and keep her in your own pig pen please," Sougo said as he stood up, but Gintoki wasn't listening. The young sadist didn't mind being ignored much and just huffed, and with mumble, he went on his way to the bus stop. "Good luck on getting them back, Danna,"

 

.  
.  
.  
.

 

"What exactly is your job here again?" Gintoki asked. They made it to the place Hijikata and the other two were staying. It wasn't exactly big, but not cramped either. It was enough for the three of them. Gintoki didn't find a problem if he crashed in too. 

"I need to reestablish assets and make new connections totsan assigned to me. I have to travel from one place to another to meet people," Hijikata replied. 

"Ah, when are you planning to go home then?"

"By the end of the month, I hope," Hijikata said, "Why? You don't have to follow around. You should've went back to Edo with Sougo,"

"I didn't travel so far just to punch your frowning face," Gintoki replied, "I don't have all that money to spare oi,"

"Do you miss Ichigo that much? You can bring him back to Edo as well if that's what you want. You have to look after him though. Everyone in the barracks is too busy. Call it a short vacation or something,"

"He's not the only reason why I came, dumbass. I'm bringing you back home with me as well," Gintoki said. Hijikata glanced at him with disbelief and shock. 

"Ha?" was the only thing he managed to utter before he managed to add, "But you still don't remember—"

"Does it matter? Okita-kun said you lived with me for quite sometime before. What's your issue?" Gintoki said, nonchalantly. 

"I don't have to move in with you again. You don't have to feel obligated and all,"

"You think this is out of obligation? I'm taking what's mine back because I want to. I've been meaning to, dense bastard. Do you know what was stopping me? The whole _waiting for someone to remember_ thing. Just like what you're implying right now. I don't have to remember for me to realize just how much I wanted to have you and Ichigo,"

"Let's have this conversation some other time. You're just in a state of shock because of—"

"I'm not, okay? Which part of, _I've been meaning to ask you out_ is not clear to you?" Gintoki met his eyes. The usual lazy gaze was filled with so much conviction in it, that Hijikata was out of words.

"I—..." Hijikata searched for a response in his head, but he can't find coherence in his thoughts. How would he respond to that? After all these years, this suddenly happened when he thought it's all hopeless. After long agonizing seconds, he finally thought of something to say, "Gintoki—" 

 

"Ah, Hijikata-san," Kintoki suddenly came into the scene with Ichigo on his shoulders. "Ichigo and I just finished clearing out the storage room."

"Yup! I cleaned lots!"

"Great work," Hijikata breathed an air of release from the tension with the conversation with Gintoki. 

"Storage room?" Gintoki lifted a brow. He didn't know that the place has a storage room. So that's where the two of them have been. 

"The storage room was a little cramped, but it will have to do. We've been here for a week now, and I don't think we'll have to move to another location. You can stay in there if you're not leaving," Hijikata replied to Gintoki.

"You're making a guest stay in a cramped storage room? Where is your manners, Hijikata-kun?" Gintoki crossed his arms with arrogance in his stupor.

"Ah?! Be grateful I'm letting you stay ungrateful—" Hijikata gave a quick gaze of hesitation at Ichigo and looked for a better word in his cuss vocabulary, "—twit!"

"Don't you have a better guest room here? Gin-san has been reeeeeaaally tired from all the hours of travel in the train," Gintoki faked a yawn then looked around, "Oh, that room looks really comfortable," he said then went over the said room it was obviously the master's bedroom and Hijikata immediately went after him.

"That's my room oi!" Hijikata attempted to drag him out, but the persistent perm just made himself welcome on the bed. Yes, it was a bed instead of a futon. A twin bed at that.

"Oh, it looks like I can have a really good rest here," Gintoki comfortably sprawled on the bed then. He secretly took a long sniff and immediately recognized the strong scent of Hijikata in his system. 

"Argh! Fine! Get some rest. I still have work to do. Kintoki, take care of the place and keep an eye on the kid. The yorozuya is here, so he'd likely do something outrageous," Hijikata said in defeat. 

"Outrageous? Should I be alarmed?" Kintoki asked. 

"Not as alarmed as you should be with Sougo, but just be extra watchful this time," Hijikata said, and went back inside the room to grab some necessary papers. 

While he was busy examining and digging out the paperwork, Ichigo dashed put to the front lawn, bursting out with energy, so Kintoki went after him. Gintoki found it as an opportunity to pull Hijikata into the bed with him. Of course, it didn't go smooth and easy. 

"Oi! What the hell yorozuya?!" Hijikata squirmed, obviously irritated but also flushed at the same time. "Look what you did to my paper—!"

"Say, have we done it?" Gintoki whispered so close to his ear, it gave him shivers.

"HA?!"

"Come on. I'm just asking, 'coz I can't remember, right?" Gintoki grinned mischievously. 

"Asshole! Let go of me this instant!" Hijikata continued to wiggle his way out of Gintoki's clutches, but to no avail. "I'm telling you—" he almost made his way to freedom by hitting Gintoki with his elbow, but the perm still managed to grab his arm and pulled him back despite hurling down in pain. 

"We already shared a bed, right? This shouldn't be an issue for you,"

"Well I do have an issue because—"

"That's unfair. Stop using my defective memories against me everytime," Gintoki said before he can give off his usual excuse. "It's okay if we share the bed right? I really don't like the idea of a cramped storage room,"

"It wasn't that cramped! That usually lazy little perm helped to clean it for you!" Hijikata said, hoping that the room should be more appealing to the yorozuya boss this time. 

"Don't you think he'd like it more if his parents are finally starting to act like an actual couple? Like again? We're already a thing right? Oh don't you dare tell me you actually moved on because of that golden—"

"What are you trying to do yorozuya?" Hijikata had enough of the entire fiasco and gave a defeated sigh. 

He can't afford to continuously get stirred with such emotions. With how Gintoki is acting now, it looks like he won't be stopping soon. He gets that Gintoki was pretty mad after he found out, but now what? What does he want to happen? Hijikata doubts the entire ordeal, thinking that Gintoki was just acting on impulse, maybe a bit guilty too, and trying to take responsibility with the kid including Hijikata. It still doesn't settle right with Hijikata at any way. 

"Winning you back, dense asshole. How are you even qualified for the title the brain of Shinsengumi if you can't get that?" Gintoki replied, and Hijikata's resolve started to dissolve. "Do I still have to give you additional embarrassing evidence? Do you want me to admit that I've been jerking off with your—"

"I don't wanna hear it!"

"Good, now I wanna sleep with you,"

"H—ha?! What are you saying you—" Hijikata was as red as tomato and tried to get away. It only made Gintoki pull him closer, spooning him. 

"I mean like closing our eyes and drifting away into unconsciousness, retard. What were you thinking huh?" Gintoki's mischievous voice aired again. "Ohoho how naughty Hijikata-kun. You want Gin-san to jump on you in our first date?" 

"Ha?! What first date?? I'll kill you! I'm not going to sleep! I've had enough with you! I have a work to do, and you're not helping at all! Get off!"

"A few hours of sleep to catch up on three years should be a good start, don't you think?" Gintoki said, and Hijikata's muscles began to relax. 

Silence then prevailed in the room aside from the distant cheerful voice of Ichigo from the outside. Just when Gintoki thought he wouldn't receive a response from Hijikata, the vice commander murmured, "Yeah...it's a good start."

 

.  
.   
.  
.  
Gintoki woke up alone and found that it was half past six in the evening. He got up and looked around. The house was quiet aside from the low audio from the tv, so he went there. He checked the living room and he saw Ichigo watching a regular kid's show with a strawberry milk in hand. 

"Dada," Ichigo then greeted him. 

"Yo, Ichigo. Where is your mama?" Gintoki asked. 

"Veranda. Smoke," Ichigo replied and went over to check the veranda. He didn't get outside to the veranda when he heard Kintoki's voice. 

 

"Dinner will be ready in 15 minutes," Kintoki said. There was a pause after Hijikata responded with a hum, then Kintoki said, "Ichigo won't like it if you go back to chain-smoking, you know,"

"I know. It's just a stick. Give me a break," Hijikata said, and Kintoki chuckled. 

"So you're back together again huh?" He heard Kintoki ask. 

Hijikata gave him a glance, then looked away to the nothingness and replied after a minute. "That's what he said... I'm honestly not sure how to do this," he chuckled bitterly, "I sound pathetic. I've been waiting, but when it's here, I'm not actually sure what to do,"

"I'm sure it's so strange for you right now, but you don't have to hesitate. What are you afraid of?"

"Maybe because it could be not what I've been thinking it is... or we can't really go back to how everything used to," Hijikata replied, and it shocked Gintoki to hear Hijikata opening up to Gintoki. The mayora usually keeps everything to himself. Okay, their closeness is alarming. 

"You don't have to go back to how everything used to," Kintoki said. Sure enough, it triggered someone. 

_"Oh don't you dare,"_ Gintoki stepped outside and said, "Areeh, who in the golden sun left the kitchen like that?"

Kintoki turned to him along with a startled Hijikata and Kintoki was visibly annoyed. "I kept the fire low and just waited for it to soften a bit,"

"Well, it appears that you lost track of time. Aren't you very familiar of the saying _'time is gold'?_ You're gonna make it overcooked golden boy,"

"I assure you that everything is under my calculations and my system should alarm me if something bad happens. But if you insist, I shall check it. You're making me look bad if I won't. I apologize, Hijikata-san. I should get in," Kintoki smiled at him before glaring at Gintoki then went to the kitchen. 

The moment he's inside, Gintoki took Kintoki's place and sat on the overhang beside Hijikata. Hijikata took a drag and asked, "You heard, didn't you?"

"There's nothing wrong with being confused or scared. I pretty much felt the same on my way here. I didn't have a clue what to tell you after punching your face," Gintoki said nonchalantly.

"You said quite a piece you know,"

"I was pouring my heart out unlike someone who is still holding back on me," Gintoki said in a voice evidently sprayed with annoyance. 

"It's weird to suddenly shift when you've been doing something for years," Hijikata didn't bother to deny it. He finds it futile to deny something obvious. 

"It won't be weird if you stop thinking that it is. Don't listen to Kintoki too. Don't even think about entertaining him. We're like back together now... right?" Gintoki gave a reluctant gaze of confirmation from Hijikata and the mayora just stared at him, looking like he doesn't know how to reply on that. "Oi, confirm it asshole! Are you seriously entertaining that—"

"I'm not!"

"Then say we're indeed dating now so I can wipe that smug off that golden egg's face and—"

"Dinner is ready, Hijikata-san!" Kintoki called out. 

"See?? He's doing it on purpose!" Gintoki vehemently pointed out. 

"Mama! Dada! Kin-chan is done cooking!" Ichigo then went outside to get them. 

"You're just hungry. Let's get in," Hijikata said and stood up to get inside while taking Ichigo's hand. Begrudgingly, Gintoki followed. 

.....

"Dada? Do you hate Kin-chan?" Ichigo suddenly asked as Hijikata helped set the table while Gintoki and Ichigo were alone in the couch.

"Hate is such a strong word. I merely loathe him," Gintoki said breezily. 

"What does that mean?"

"Something that doesn't mean hate," because it means extreme hatred. "Don't hate people, Ichigo. It will only ruin your ice cream and your day. You can just not care,"

"Then why do you argue with him?" Oh, he heard the exchange in the veranda? Were did the kid get this eavesdropping habit? It's Sougo isn't it? 

"It's just like how I talk to your mom, see? We sound like we're fighting, but we're not really fighting. That's just how we talk," Gintoki tried to make it sound convincing. 

"So you're friends with Kin-chan?" Ichigo then asked. He argues like that with Hijikata and the kid is not worried, because he knew that it's just because they're close and comfortable with each other. 

"Nope, definitely not. Just look at him," Gintoki gestured at Kintoki who was approaching Hijikata to ask him something in setting the food.   
"He's stealing you and your mama away from me," 

"Kin-chan isn't a thief. Mama will arrest him, if he is," Ichigo said with a head tilt. Truth be told, he actually got what Gintoki was saying, but he can't say anything else to ease Gintoki's thoughts on Kintoki, since the kid sees him as a friend. 

"Hmm, yeah. That would make sense. Let's just hope Hijikata won't be an id—"

"I'm Hijikata too Dada," Ichigo protested.

"Well, that includes you," Suddenly, Gintoki realized something. "Oi, Hiji— uh, mama!"

"Don't call me that!" Hijikata growled. 

"Well _our_ son just complained of me calling you Hijikata because he's Hijikata too. What do you want me to call you? Toshi?"

"No! Don't even dare! Just stay there and shut up! Don't call me at all! There!"

"Why are you so worked up? Should I call you Toushiro instead?" Hijikata visibly flinched at that, widening Gintoki's smirk. 

"No! I told you to shut up!"

"No, I wanna ask you something. We're good when you gave birth right? Why did you name him Hijikata? Or did you change his name when I lost my memory?"

"You're the one who named him, genius! You're all _ah, let's name him Ichigo because we both love strawberry_ and _I've been calling him 15 and the date was perfect too_ ," Hijikata said with a voice imitating Gintoki. 

"Ah? I did? Wait, you like strawberry?" he was proud for naming Ichigo. He feels like an absolute genius, but he was utterly confused. 

"When I was pregnant, yeah. I've been eating parfaits and strawberry stuff," now this is why Gintoki hated not remembering even the small things. 

"Uh, why did I name him Hijikata? Aren't we together?"

"Well, we weren't together _together_ at that point yet, so uh... You said you'll rename him Sakata once—" Hijikata stopped himself. Fuck. He almost said it. He turned around and pretended busy in the dining table, but his ears were totally red. Gintoki won't let that go. 

"Ha?? Oi! Once what? Why are you suddenly embarrassed? What did I say?"

"We're not discussing this now. Dinner is ready. Come Ichigo," Hijikata said, dodging the topic. 

"That's not fair oi! Hiji— Toushiro!" _Toushiro's_ flinch was satisfying at least. 

"Let's just eat okay?" Hijikata said, sounding defeated, "The food will get cold,"

Gintoki gave a playful smirk and sat beside him. Seeing that embarrassed face was enough for now. Today, he's gonna let it go. 

 

.

.

.

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_________________________________________

**In the distant future...**

 

"What do you mean you still can't find her?!" Sakata Ichigo lashed out at an officer.

"I'm really sorry Sakata-taicho, but we already looked everywhere and—"

"Keep looking, or I'll dig your eyeballs out," the threat was given in such a deep voice, that the poor officer can't help but scram in fear. 

"Y—yes, sir!"

"That's enough, Ju-yon," He heard a voice from the other end of the hallway. He immediately identified the voice and glanced at the speaker's way. 

"Boss, I didn't know you're back," he said and Sougo stepped closer, observing the mess out of the room. From the looks of it, that was not all the lash out that happened.

"That's because you're too busy finding Nemo in the desert," Sougo replied monotonously.

"It's not my fault that the Nemo I'm finding has wings," he deadpanned. Figuratively speaking, the fish they are looking has been too free that she grew wings. 

"Danna is looking for you. Go ahead and see him," Sougo met his eyes, and Ichigo hesitated. "Just go. He looks worse than last week,"

Ichigo sighed in resignation. He's been rigorously finding this Nemo that he forgot to visit his father. He can't really feel proud facing him though. With his sister gone, he can't tell any other news to share to his old man on his deathbed. Walking with such thoughts, he didn't notice he's already at the door. He gave another heavy sigh and opened the door after giving it a knock. 

 

"Oyaji, you called?" He said as a greeting when he came in. 

"You wouldn't come and visit otherwise. Papa has been lonely, Ichigo-kun," that's his old man alright. Same old father he always had. 

"I'm sorry... I..."

"Still can't find her, huh," there was no disappointment nor conviction in his tone, but Ichigo still felt bad to bring such news to him. Sougo probably already broke the news to Gintoki, but still, it's a lot different coming from him. 

"I will soon. I've got her mayonnaise supply,"

"Are you an idiot? She probably bought new ones already,"

"Well, she wouldn't be able to hide from me that long. She never won when we play hide and seek," Ichigo said with confidence in his tone. 

"That's because you always cheat," Gintoki pointed out. 

"I just know her too well," Ichigo huffed, not really denying the claim of him cheating. 

"That's why you still can't find yourself a girlfriend. Your keep on fretting over your sister. I know I told you to always keep an eye on her when you're little, but I didn't expect you to turn into a serious case of siscon. Papa wants grandchildren now, you know. Papa is not getting any younger, and we agree on the fact that your sister is off limits to men, so I'm expecting little strawberries from you," 

"You're seriously asking something like that right now? I'm fighting a war, Oyaji. You fought in one too. It's not a very ideal time to make a family when I can't even hold this family together,"

"Really? Is that all? Are you hiding something else entirely from your old man here? Tell me what's bothering you. Is she taken? Not interested? Or is it a he? It's totally fine if you're gay. I didn't think I was too, but I was suddenly attracted to your mom. I'm just right here. I'll listen,"

Ichigo gave him his own signature dead fish eyes look before he sighed and said, "Okay, here it goes. I've been really meaning to take a shit since this morning—"

"Not interested," Gintoki deadpanned. 

"You said you'd listen!"

"I said, I want a heart to heart talk. Not toilet problem management," Gintoki said with the same bored face.

"I was pouring my heart out!"

"No, you wanted to pour your constipated turd out,"

"Die oyaji!"

"I'm on it, asshole."

"Oi, don't you dare die on me! That was a joke! I'll fucking kill you if you die!"

"You're full of contradictions today." Gintoki chuckled at that. He's just really trying to distract Ichigo, and apparently, it worked with that smile now evident on his son's face. 

"And you're full of yourself today."

The father and son had a little moment and small talks (which were mostly just petty arguments) until Gintoki decided that he should break it to Ichigo.

"Ichigo... I think your sister already knew," Gintoki's tone and voice was dead serious, ringing all the alarms in Ichigo's system. 

"Ha? Knew about what?" the raven perm feigned with ignorance. 

"You can drop the act, Ichigo. You think I wouldn't find out after all your nightmares?" Ichigo just stood there and looked for a proper reply to that. 

"That can't be enough to cover everything." he sighed. 

"Should I mention the fact why I let Takasugi around you and your sister too?" Gintoki challenged, and suddenly, realization hit him. "Ah! That's right. It must've been the midget then," Gintoki said like he just had a Eureka moment.

"What?" Ichigo grimaced. 

 

"I'm saying, your sister must've found out from the same source I did,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm finally out of hospital yesterday. (I was confined for a week then was discharged and was advised to rest, but then I had to go back there again after just a few days) Here's your 2 weeks worth of update. Does it look rushed? I bet it does. I'm sorry.


	27. Time is Silver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oyaji... I told you not to die on me," Though he already saw it coming, he was never prepared for this. He never wanted to. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh it's been a month. I'M SO SORRY! I didn't even review this, so MORE Errors ahead !

"What do you mean you're leaving???" Gintoki exclaimed over the phone. He's just away for three days and he suddenly gets a call saying that the bald father of the yato kid came yesterday, then now Kagura decided to come with him in his conquest in the outer space. 

"You're too noisy, Gin-chan. Papi said it is a good opportunity for me, since I'm about to enter the adult life and all," Gintoki can totally picture her out pricking her nose without having to see her. Her sightly nasal voice gave it away. So much for entering the adult life excuse. _The baldie just wanted to keep an eye on you since you're about to enter that stage, stupid._

"If you really wanna go, I'm not stopping you. But at least not right away. Wait for a week or two, or yeah. Just until I get there,"

"Ah, so until you got back with my foster mami?"

"We already got back together," Gintoki huffed. 

"Like _together_ together?" Kagura raised a brow. Again, Gintoki didn't have to see to know that she did. When the perm wasn't able to respond in three seconds, Kagura then said, "See? The sadist said it won't be so smooth Gin-san. It took you months before you managed to have the label "dating". Honestly, mother is so embarrassed that you're so slow. Shinpachi and I knew that you're not popular with girls, and miraculously, mayora gave you a shot—"

"Okay, that's enough. You're just trying to annoy me. That's not even what we should be talking about,"

"It was working then. Okay, I'll wait 'till you get back, Gin-chan. I kinda want to see I-chan too before leaving to."

"Good then. I'll be back as soon as the mayora gets his job done," Gintoki ended the call after saying goodbye to Kagura then went over to the bedroom to see Hijikata organizing the paperwork. He looked too focused, but Gintoki knew better than to believe that. 

"You don't have to wait around, you know. Don't keep China waiting. She'll be away for quite a while,"

"It's fine. She wants to see Ichigo too," Gintoki replied, nonchalantly. "Just do what you have to do,"

"Then bring the kid with you," Hijikata said, as if that's the perfect answer. 

"I'm not leaving without you, okay? Who knows where you'd run off again. Kintoki can brainwash you and you'll end up eloping with him the very second I turn my back,"

"You have my kid, why would I go anywhere? And if Kintoki wanted to brainwash me, he could've done that from the start. He's not what you think he is, so quit it,"

"And you're defending him," Gintoki gave a blank face and said that in monotone. 

"I'm stating the facts. I don't have to defend him. Widen your perspective for a bit, won't you?"

"Oh wow. That's rich. Maybe you could've done that before you decided to cut off my sense of responsibility as Ichigo's father for three years,"

Hijikata fell out of words for a moment before he settled for a sigh before answering, "I thought we're done with this?"

"I thought we were too," Gintoki then didn't wait for Hijikata's reply and went out to the lawn and sat underneath the tree. He sighed. What is he doing picking a fight like that again? 

He reevaluated his judgement, and concluded his thoughts with a sigh. He never really thought that hard about it, but it still bothered him. He's been there all the way as Ichigo grew up, but was that enough to cover his responsibilities as a father to him? It still feels like he neglected his kid for an amount of time. Three years of babysitting felt like a sorry excuse of looking after his kid. Hijikata doesn't get that doesn't he? He feels like shit about forgetting about Hijikata too. He knew that the mayora has been quite distant in the first months, and he was still reluctant in opening his door to Gintoki even in the following years. 

In the middle of such thoughts, Gintoki was startled to hear something from behind. He turned around to go and check and he found Ichigo holding a stick and swinging it as if it's a real sword. Gintoki observed him with a fond smile written on his face. He noticed one thing, Ichigo holds the sword like Hijikata does, but his movements were sloppily like someone else's. He can already guess it's Sougo again. Ichigo then had enough and felt tired then Gintoki called him over. The kid was more than happy to head towards him. 

"Did you see that dada? Was I good?" the kid asked with excitement. 

"For your age, you are. Hi— uh.. Your mama taught you how to hold a sword?" Gintoki asked. 

"Yeah! I watched when he trains the guys in the dojo! He's really cool! Boss gave me special lessons too so I can protect him better!" Gintoki smiled at that, though it somewhat forced. He can't help but feel like he should've taught the kid too. Even though he's been in Ichigo's life, it still feels like he missed half of his son's life.

 

"I wish I've been a dad instead of a mere babysitter," Gintoki mumbled as he patted Ichigo's head. 

"You've always been my dada," Ichigo said with his dead fish eyes. "Boss said it's like when parents are divorced and they share the kid, so I'll be in dada's place during weekends or whenever mama is busy with work. That doesn't devalue you being my dada," (exact words from Sougo though the kid doesn't understand some terms. He got the concept after more explanations from Sougo) 

"Oi oi, wait a sec. Are you sure you're three? Am I seriously talking to a toddler? How can you talk like that? Where did you learn those words?"

"Boss said I'm smart, and my birthday is close, so I won't be three anymore," Gintoki wished that he stays as a kid longer though. He feels like the kid is growing up too fast before his eyes. It's heartwarming, but at the same time, it's giving him other sorts of emotions ebbing in his chest.  
"I learn a lot from Boss. Boss said I'm thankfully not mentally retarded,"

"Oi, what is that supposed to mean? Which one of us did he just call mentally retarded?" he certainly hoped it was Hijikata, because it's never a good impression to be painted in your son's brain. 

"Boss said I've got two mentally retarded parents. He said I was lucky to avoid the calamity of inheriting a dominant trait. I don't really know what that even means, but I think I understand," Ichigo replied nonchalantly with the same bored face. 

"Don't go calling your parents mentally retarded, you punk!"

"I didn't call you that. Boss did," Ichigo protested with a pout. Gintoki chuckled at that and let it go after apologizing to the kid. He was then haunted by his thoughts again after just a short silence. 

"Ichigo... How was he doing... Hi—your mama." Gintoki asked. 

"Mama openly talks about you and says how much I'm just like you when I'm misbehaving a lot and he doesn't like it when I prick my nose. He said I shouldn't copy your disgusting habits," that's probably because he misbehaves a lot— _wait, he's blaming me of all the negative traits now, isn't he?!_

Gintoki got somehow annoyed at the thought, but somehow, he mostly found it endearing. Don't ask him why 'coz he's not going to give you a proper ~~or at least coherent~~ answer. "So he talks about me a lot then?"

"Mmm," Ichigo thought it over before answering with a nod, "He does talk about you, but whenever it's not because I'm being bad, he always looked really sad. He gives me a smile but I know it's fake. He doesn't want to be around you too because he's forced to wear a fake face everytime." Ichigo explained. The dread grew even bigger in Gintoki's chest in result. "Mama has been really lonely. I tried my best, but he was still lonely whenever he thinks I don't know. He cries silently at night while hugging me tightly. He thinks I don't know because I always pretend to be a deep sleeper." _So he's actually not?!_ Hijikata thought he's confident enough about the kid's behavior, but no, Sougo had to cultivate a sneaky behavior in their kid. 

"Let me guess, Sougo taught you that, again?"

"Yeah," the kid nodded. "He taught me 'coz mama was attacked in his sleep once. I have to protect mama from that onee-san,"

"Onee-san? Who is this onee-san?" Gintoki suddenly disregarded the ugly pit in his chest when his blood spiked angrily at the new information. 

"Mama wouldn't tell me. He said she's been taken care of, but I know she can be back," Ichigo said. Gintoki was about to get up and go to the source himself, but Ichigo added, "..So I asked Boss. He said she's the reason why you got divorced with mama."

"What?! I thought we fell out when I lost my memories?! Why is a woman involved??? Who's this third party? Wait, is she Hijikata's woman or my— oi, that can't be Sarutobi, right? That woman might be exaggerating, but she won't go that far to—"

"That's why Boss is calling you mentally retarded, Dada," Ichigo gave him a look of disappointment. It put Gintoki's guts into shame. "She is the bad lady who ruined your head,"

 

.  
.  
.  
.

 

Hijikata was back late and Gintoki made sure Ichigo was actually asleep in his bedtime. Hijikata doesn't want the kid staying up late. 

"Did you eat?" Gintoki asked. 

"Yeah," Hijikata sighed and slumped on the couch. "Is the kid asleep?"

"I made sure he really is," Gintoki chuckled and sat beside him on the couch. "You should rest too. You promised the kid to go to the festival tomorrow."

"Yeah.. the festival," Hijikata groaned in exhaustion. Gintoki stared at him with fond eyes and tucked Hijikata's head on his lap. "You want me to nap here? I should be on the bed."

"Hey... I don't think I said it properly," Gintoki said and Hijikata eyed him in confusion. "I'm sorry."

"If this is about this morning—"

"I'm sorry, but I won't apologize for what happened this morning. I'm not leaving you alone with that guy, and that's final. I'm apologizing for not being there when you and Ichigo needed me," Gintoki replied, and Hijikata got up to look straight at him. 

"Where is this coming from?"

"That woman, Ichigo said she's still coming after you. I called Okita-kun as well, and he told me more details than you're willing to give me. I'll take it from here, okay? Don't even dare running away from me again." Gintoki said. He understood that Hijikata couldn't do much because of the woman's family and his job. Sougo already explained everything, so he understands, but that doesn't mean he'll just agree with the way Hijikata handled things. He's gonna do it his way from now on.  
"She must be one of the reasons you kept your distance away from me then. Stop thinking I won't be able to handle myself against her."

"You lost your memories," Hijikata pointed out, "Don't blame me for doubting your capabilities against a woman like her,"

"That's not counted. Stop worrying and trust me. You do right?" Gintoki gave him an intense stare of the century. Hijikata remained still, meeting his eyes and refused to budge. Well, not for long. 

"Fine," Hijikata lost to the petty staring contest. "What do you have in mind now then?"

"I think she knows how to get my memories back," Gintoki replied, and Hijikata didn't have to hear further elaboration of this thought alone, but he doesn't want to agree with this idea. 

"Gintoki—"

"I thought you trust me," The perm head pointed out. Hijikata effectively shut his protests. "Good. I'm glad you understand that I have to completely get rid of her out of the picture before I can turn you and Ichigo into Sakata. Ahhh wouldn't you like that, _Toushiro_? You're gonna miss being called Hijikata soon, so enjoy that name while it lasts."

_"Once we're married, he'll be Sakata Ichigo and— oh. You—you'll be Sakata Toushiro," Gintoki covered his blush with the palm of his hand."_

"Wha—" Hijikata was suddenly completely still. Words died in his throat, and he couldn't dare to ask Gintoki how he knew or perhaps he did knock that bit of memory out of his spec of a brain.

Gintoki didn't have to be asked though. He voluntarily gave Hijikata the answer to his wandering questions. "I asked Okita-kun."

Sougo is so going to pay...ten times fold. 

 

..  
.  
.  
.

 

 

"So I heard I can finally get rid of you forever?" Sougo dropped the question after an awkward amount of time just sitting around in silence in the usual dango stand where they held their meetings of trying to repair the Sakata-Hijikata household. The only difference this time is that the human wearing glasses is not here today. 

"Ha?" Kagura asked, somehow confused with the sudden question. 

"You're leaving right? For good?" Sougo kept his monotone throughout the sentence. 

"Is that why you're being creepily nice and treated me dango aru? You think I'm leaving for good?" Kagura then started laughing. 

"Wait, you're not?"

"I'm leaving, yeah. But bad news for you, I'll be back aru! You can't get rid of me!" Kagura's laughter then turned evil. 

Sougo cursed underneath his breath. _"Damn you Hijikata! I'm so going to kill you on the spot for this!"_

"Oooh I should've done this before! I could've milked you for free food everyday!"

"If you're gonna pull the same thing everyday, it's not gonna work. It's a one time thing like a farewell party, you dork," Sougo said, unimpressed. 

"Ooooh don't tell me you're gonna miss me stupid sadist,"

"It's like a thanksgiving party that you're finally off my hair, China,"

"Really? That's not what mayora told me," Kagura gave a haughty smirk.  
_Hijikata what?!_

"Ah, really? What did he tell you then?" Sougo asked with his arms crossed and effortlessly kept his monotone and blank face in place. 

"He told me that a certain chihuahua will be really really really weird when I'm gone. Gosh, I knew I'm such a gorgeous heroine. Of course everyone will flock over me. He doesn't have to tell me," Kagura said confidently with a pinky inserted in her nostril. Sougo should really be disgusted, but he's too used to it to care ( everyone in Gintama is normally weird, and he firmly believes that the straight man role does not fit him).

"Someone would be weirdly delighted, alright," Sougo deadpanned. "Anyway, you lost the bet. I made the move to make them go back together, so that means you're going to be my pet pig. Now be a good pig and wear this collar," if he lost, he would've been the one wearing the collar as Kagura's pet chihuahua. 

"NO WAY! I thought you're being nice to me aru!" Kagura protested, suddenly remembering the bet. She totally forgot about it. 

"A bet is a bet, sore loser China. Now go ahead and wear this collar now and maybe I'll be nice enough and feed you some human food," Sougo waved a stash of Kagura's seaweed thing and Kagura has more than delighted to look forward to what she's going to be feed more. Sougo knew he'd immediately regret this. 

"Oink," Kagura then complied, and Sougo can hear his paycheck flying out to this girl's endless stomach. Great. Now that Hijikata is away so he couldn't milk him his money too. 

Sougo gave her a box of sukonbu with a sigh and said, "Come on, let's grab some lunch."

"I want—!"

"Pigs can't talk,"

"Ha?!" Kagura exclaimed in protest. 

"Do you want lunch or not?"

"Oink," Kagura huffed with annoyance.

"Good pig," Sougo smirked. This might be not that bad after all. To hell with his paycheck. He hasn't been buying assassination equipments for his unrelenting attempts on Hijikata's life lately, so he should be fine. 

 

 

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Gintoki blinked after slowly opening his eyes. The familiar pounding sensation in his head welcomed him along with the unforgiving sunlight from the window. Oh. That's one fancy window. He doesn't remember owning one in his tacky flat. Oh, that's right. He's staying with Hijikata and the kid in this place— nope. NOPE. This isn't their place.

Wait— where the fuck is he? This is not— he immediately sat up and looked around, only to find out that he's completely naked in a fancy hotel room. Oh no. Why does this feel so awfully familiar? HE SERIOUSLY CAN'T HAVE ANOTHER SCANDAL ARC!!! This fic is already another version of baby strife arc, and he wouldn't appreciate another scandal arc, waking up next to Otose or anyone else other than— the thought immediately made him check the other side of the bed. Oh. No one was there. Thank goodness. It's actually a little disappointing not finding the person he expected to see, but this is a bit better than waking up next to another old hag.

Okay, think Gintoki. Think. What happened last night? He couldn't have carelessly fucked around with a random stranger, right? Hijikata is so gonna kill him. He just went to the festival with Ichigo and Hijikata (insert Kintoki in the picture yourself because Gintoki still refuses to acknowledge his existence) and he ended up having a drinking contest with a robot, (in which, he refused to acknowledge his loss). After that? Uhh. He remembered kissing Hijikata. Oh. He sure hoped he didn't puke again. How did he end up in this place though? He remembered being in a dark alley where he trapped Hijikata with his arms and— oh. 

 

"Finally, your snoring ass is up," as if answering his questions automatically, Hijikata appeared from the bathroom. His hair was still damp and Gintoki was shamelessly staring how the man dried his hair with the towel. Hijikata, feeling the intensity of the stare, paused and sent him a glare. "What?"

"Nothing," Gintoki smirked, "Just appreciating what's mine,"

Hijikata was left with an agape mouth and was about to retort something, but his words failed him, and he was left with a maddening blush, so he looked away. _"cute"_ Gintoki thought before his clothes was sent flying straight to his face. His wooden sword came last as a bonus with a bullseye hitting his nose. 

"Get yourself fixed," Hijikata said. 

"Now that's so uncute," Gintoki clutched over his nose and checked if it's bleeding thankfully, it's not. "Uhh... so how drunk was I last night?"

"The superlative," Hijikata replied. 

"Sooo..." Gintoki ~~fidgeted~~ was acting completely normal. What are you talking about? He must've just drunk too much caffeine to ease his hangover ~~though Hijikata made him tea because he said he doesn't want Hijikata's bitter black coffee—~~.  
"What stupid things did I do this time?"

Hijikata eyed him with a smug look and sipped his black coffee before answering, "Where do you want me to start?"

"So there was a lot? I'll have you know, even if I don't remember it this time, I meant to do that and I have zero regrets on that,"

"So you actually remembered that time?" Hijikata creased his brows, "That time when you threw up a lot and—"

"Yeah, I remember! I didn't know how to explain that so I resorted to running away."

Hijikata was silent for a second then he scoffed with a smirk on his face then, "That sounds like you alright. You did something worse than kissing me and throwing up a lot though."

"Worse?" well, isn't that more devastating? "Don't tell me Ichigo saw everything," Gintoki groaned. 

"Unfortunately, he did, and he even comforted you when you childishly cried,"

"Wha— I what?!" Gintoki asked, quite alarmed now. He just shamed himself in front of his kid. Way to go dada Gin. Wait, he can still regain his honor right? There should be a mistake. Righ? RIGHT??? "Why would I cry?!"

"You were hitting on me and flirting like—"

"So what? We're like— dating? Why would I cry over that?"

Hijikata gave a deadpan face, "You asked me if I'm single, and you began crying like a child having a tantrum when I said I'm clearly dating someone,"

Oh  
Oh  
Oka— WHAT?! 

So he— then his own kid comforted him after witnessing everything?! What a lame— _Ichigo must've thought I'm really mentally retarded,_ Gintoki shrunk in shame. 

"It's fine, you already shamed yourself enough that he's used to it by now. You don't have to try and impress him. I know you still feel kinda left out and apart from him, but you seriously don't have to. The kid loves you too much he even thought that pricking his nose is a good trait to copy from you."

Gintoki chuckled mildly at that and glanced at Hijikata, "Now isn't that just comforting?"

"You're welcome," Hijikata said then turned his back a him to go and sit on the couch. Only then, Gintoki noticed that he's actually kinda in pain as he winced upon siting down. Like a reflex in his system, he immediately followed Hijikata to check on him. 

"Oi, are you hurt? Now that I look at it, you don't look so well and your skin—" Gintoki paused and examined Hijikata's skin especially his nape that looks kinda irritated— _wait, is that a hickey?_ — memories suddenly came rushing back of what happened last night, including some vague conversation he had with his lame attempts of hitting on Hijikata before bawling his eyes out. 

 

_  
"Hey! Where do you think you're touching?! Ichigo and Kintoki is going to get worried and look for us!" Hijikata squirmed out of his hold but Gintoki didn't budge of course._

_"Stop using the kid as an excuse everytime, Toushiro," Gintoki whispered close to his ear, and Hijikata shuddered at the sensation that he felt running in a rush throughout his body._

_"Fuck," Hijikata cursed with a sharp breath as he felt Gintoki's hand travel underneath his boxers._

_"Here," Gintoki dangled his phone at his face. "send them a message that we're going to hotel for the night because I'm too wasted and stuff. Leave the explanation to Kintoki if Ichigo asks further questions."_

_"We can't just ditch them and—" the yorozuya boss silenced him with a forceful and wet kiss. If Hijikata won't do it, he will. Gintoki sloppily typed a short message to Kintoki and that's it._

_"Gin—"_

_"Ne," Gintoki said as be nibbled Hijikata's ear. "You think Ichigo would want a little brother or sister?"_

_"H—ha?!" Hijikata immediately wanted to push his away. "No way!"_

_"Ahhhh I dunno, Toushiro. I found out I'm a father just recently, so I want to spoil him. If he asks a cute little sibling, I'd gladly provide him one,"_

_"He didn't ask you!"_

_"He did!"  
_

 

The most relevant and clear parts that he recalled totally overshadowed his shame of the crying incident though. Remembering Hijikata's voice when he moaned, his lips, the every inch of Hijikata's body that he tried to map with his tongue, and the face he made when he came was enough to make his hard again. He swallowed his saliva in hopes of getting rid of the strangling sensation in his throat. It wasn't helping at all, especially his Gintoki junior.

 

"Oh... I did that too, didn't I?" He dared to ask. 

Hijikata didn't even flinch, lash out, or shy away with the question like he expected. Instead, Hijikata actually smirked at him with a smug look on his face. "Good thing you can recognize your handiwork this time. The last time you left marks on me, you accused me of cheating on you with Sougo."

"Wait— what?!"

"Yeah yeah. What's done is done. I have to be somewhere in an hour, and you better get yourself fixed too. I'm sure Ichigo has been worried."

"Oh," Gintoki didn't have to be told twice. 

"I already paid the room, just get yourself back to the place and redeem yourself to the kid," Hijikata scoffed and put his jacket on. How is gonna explain himself to the kid? It's gonna be a hell of a day. 

.  
.  
.  
.

 

 

 

_  
There it was again. The golden butterfly that came into life from someone's violet kimono. It flew past her and there came a strong gust of wind that made her close her eyes. When she opened them again, she was in a complete darkness. She dared to take a step and she fell on her knees without knowing what caused her to fall._

_Another gust of air that carried rotten stench brushed past her and sure enough, she recognized her location right away. It's the warzone. She's suddenly covered with dirt and blood that doesn't belong to her, and with aching limbs, she forced herself to stand._

_"What are you doing here?!" a man fully clad in blood and armor came and pulled her up the filthy ground. "I told you to stay in the haven!"_

_"Our men needs me. As if I can't hold my sword properly," she replied._

_"Go back to the haven, you twit!" The man exclaimed._

_"Stop trying to protect me! I've been wanting to protect you too! I can't lose anymore more than I already have!" She yelled back. "I feel useless out there! I still feel useless here! Am I even supposed to still be alive here?!"_

_"Don't say that!" He exclaimed, effectively shutting her up. He sighed, repeating the same words in a whisper. "Don't say that... You and the old man are all I have left,"_

_ ~~**"This present situation that we have, is the the future that your brother created..."** ~~ _

_"How much were you willing to sacrifice just to have me here, Aniki?"_  
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"Then maybe he prefers a useless sister and a dying father than dead corpses as family." Takasugi sighed. "Now that you know, what are you planning to do?" 

_"How can I fix this?"_

_"Are you familiar with the Butterfly effect?" Takasugi asked. "The concept is simple. A flap of a butterfly's wings causes the storm of tomorrow. How would you solve that?"_

_"Exterminate the butterfly?"_

_~~"We never regret having you in our lives, you know?~~ _

_~~"You're just a lot like him,"~~ _

_~~"Hiiiijikaaaata-kuuuun. Please stay, nah? Gin-san has been... Gin-san has been lonely.."~~ _

_**You'll never be the one you're trying to replace.**  
_

 

Namaye woke up into a shivering mess with a cold sweat trickling down her face. She didn't even realize that she's crying when she instinctively went to Hijikata's room next door. She found it empty and cold. Only then, she remembered that they've been away. Instead of leaving to go back to her room, she took out Hijikata's futon and lie down there. She felt safer there, but it wasn't enough. She took out her phone and with shaking hands, she dialed Hijikata's number. 

 

.  
.  
.

Hijikata's phone rang, and he immediately answered it with drowsy eyes. He's always prepared to take emergency calls whenever necessary, so picking up the phone in the middle of the night is not that new for him. 

"Yeah, this is Hijikata Toushiro," He answered with a raspy voice. 

 

"Hi—Hijikata-san..."

"Are you crying?" Hijikata immediately got up and untangled himself from Gintoki. The traces of drowsiness was nowhere to be found in his system. 

Gintoki groaned from the loss and asked, "Why? What's going on?"

"Just go back to sleep." Hijikata answered him with the phone stuck to his ear as he made his way outside. 

"What the hell was that?" Gintoki grumbled and got up as well as he scratched his head and crotch underneath his pink boxers at the same time. This doesn't look good, and Hijikata's reaction while answering the call was too worrisome for Gintoki to go back to sleep. Coming up with a resolution, he went and followed Hijikata to the veranda and eavesdropped to the conversation. He couldn't really hear what Namaye was saying, but he can make something out of the responses Hijikata made.

"What was it about?" Hijikata asked. "You can't tell me?"

"I... can't,"

"Tell me something else you can tell me then,"

"Like.. what?"

"Last time we talked about your brother. Let's talk about him," Hijikata proposed, thinking that it's a good distraction. 

"Aniki?"

"Yeah, you said he always looked after you."

"He did. Oyaji always made sure that I wouldn't cry whenever he's gone, so he always took care of me," Namaye replied, "He played with me a lot. He taught me how to draw and stuff,"

"You draw?" Hijikata chuckled at that. 

"Not as well as aniki, but it was decent. We draw a lot as kids. Aniki will.." Namaye paused for a yawn, giving Hijikata a confirmation that it's working. "...aniki will post everything on the wall and we show it to our old man. He always knew who drew each drawing. The guessing game became a thing. Oyaji is amazing. He was never wrong in guessing,"

"He sounds like an amazing dad,"

"He is.. " Namaye's voice was starting to drift. "But he often lied. He made it look like he was okay, but he's not. If I'd known how much I've been hurting him whenever I cried, I never should've cried a lot as a kid,"

"It's totally normal for a kid to cry. It's just kids being kids. Even a kid like Ichigo cries a lot too especially when he's sick. That's normal,"

"But... I always reminded him of my mother. Sometimes I wanted to believe that it's a good thing, but I knew he's been hurting. Sometimes I wondered if it would've been better if he chose to save my mother instead of me. How can he choose me when he loves my mom that much? He wouldn't have lost my mom," Namaye's voice then started to crack again. It's never a comfortable topic to talk about, but Hijikata preferred that they rather have the conversation instead of Namaye continuing to bottle everything up.

Hijikata sighed then said, "That's exactly why. He chose you because he loved your mom that much. Your mom wanted to save you, didn't she? That's how moms are. They prefer their children's lives over theirs. Same goes for your old man. He didn't love either of you or your mom any less. He chose you because he loved the both of you. If your mom would be here, she'd say the same,"

To Hijikata's surprise, Namaye actually chuckled at that. It wasn't exactly a happy chuckle, nor a sad one. It was something in between those emotions. "Yeah... My mom... Would say the same. I wish you were there too, Hijikata-san,"

"There? There where?"

"There..." Namaye replied vaguely.  
"When are you coming back?" she asked instead. 

"I'm not sure, but it shouldn't take us that long," Hijikata replied. He chose not to push the topic when she finally thought of something else. He never pushed her into talking about something when she's too vulnerable like this. 

"Come back now please," Namaye said in a hushed voice. "It's always better if you're here. You should've been there all along,"

Even with the bubbling confusion of _being there'_ , Hijikata didn't press on the matter. He chose not to ush her out of her composure again. "We'll be back soon, so be strong until then, yeah?" Hijikata said. He didn't hear a reply. Instead, he heard soft breathing from her. Hijikata finally breathed a sigh of relief for finally putting her back to sleep.  
_"She's in my room again, isn't she?"_ Hijikata thought. 

 

"What was that?" Gintoki finally asked. He already had an idea, but it's always better to confirm things rather than put everything under the impression of assumption. Look where that strategy took them. Three years of emotional gap.

"The girl had her nightmares again. She usually runs to me whenever this happens since she moved in the barracks," Hijikata replied, and Gintoki hummed at that. The mayora found the unsatisfied look on the perm head's face. Gintoki obviously needed more information, so he added, "Don't you even start thinking about it differently. Some men in the barracks were already thinking I'm molesting her and forcing her into my room,"

"Why would I think you'd molest her after everything that I just heard?" Gintoki said as he pricked his ear and checked the earwax he got on his finger. "Besides, you're not the type to molest people. You're the type to be molested."

"AH?! You wanna fight, asshole?! Who's the molested type?!"

"Shh! They'll wake up,"

"They won't. I was charging Kintoki so he won't be up. Ichigo is a deep sleeper too. He wouldn't even flinch," _oh, you know nothing about how deep Sougo's influence on him, do you?_ Gintoki chose not to voice out his thoughts though. He'll lose a valuable agent to spy on Hijikata who won't put him in misery in exchange for the information he needs (because that's basically how business goes with Sougo). 

"Yeah right," Gintoki settled for a huff of resignation and took Hijikata's arm to pull him back inside.  
"So... she asked you to come home?" Gintoki asked as he followed him inside. 

"She did," Hijikata replied, "She's in her most vulnerable state right now. I won't be surprised if she'll call in the morning and apologize for calling me late in the evening then tell me not to mind anything that she said because she finally managed to get back to her senses,"

"If she'd be fine in the morning, why do you still look like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like the world ran out of mayo or something,"

"Really?" Hijikata chuckled. "I know you don't remember, but she introduced herself as my counterpart in an alternate universe. I've always suspected that she's lying. And now, I knew that she was indeed lying,"

"Does this have anything to do with why she's so suddenly attached to you?" Gintoki asked. 

"Yeah, I think that has something to do about it," Hijikata said. "I.. I found out her real name because of moments like this where she's so open and vulnerable. Not that I took advantage of it. She openly said it without even realizing it."

"What's with her name?" Gintoki gave him a look. 

"It's like... something that you'd give,"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**  
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_  
Explosion occurred in the dock of the ship, and Takasugi wasn't really surprised. He chuckled in amusement, thinking that it took him some time before figuring it all out. His men were informing him of an intruder, and honestly, he couldn't really care less. They're on the sea, and he already had the escape ship coming when he heard the explosion. The one that matters right now is what Ichigo will do if enlightenment hits him._

_"Takasugi you bastard! Where is my sister?!" ah, and here come the guest of honor with a bang._

_"My, that took you quite awfully long." Takasugi chuckled grimly. "And here I thought you'd figure it all out before she could do anything. Perhaps I over estimated you along the years,"_

_"You told her," it was clearly not a question. Even though Ichigo's expression didn't give off that much emotion, Takasugi can tell from his eyes enough the raging bloodlust in his eyes._

_"That, I did,"_

_"You're never supposed to tell her! You even told my old man?!" Takasugi then figured that Gintoki gave him the heads up. It had been two weeks after his sister disappeared and he didn't catch up fast enough. Maybe that's a good thing too._

_"You haven't been as subtle as you've been thinking since you got your memories back, Ichigo. Of course he noticed eventually." Takasugi scoffed and took a drag out of his pipe._

_"Where is she?"_

_"In a place that you visited once too," Takasugi said after taking a drag and Ichigo immediately unsheathed his sword to slice the one eyed man in a speed of light._

_Takasugi was agile and sharp enough to dodge it with ease before he grabbed his own sword and use it against Ichigo's next attack. Takasugi realized that Ichigo was a lot faster than he remembered, so he began putting his guard up and held his sword like he's fighting Gintoki. Not to mention he's a splitting image of the man. The sensation was almost like when they settle scores back in their childhood days in the dojo. Gintoki sure taught his kid well that he's almost just like him. The fighting style is obviously not entirely from his old friend. In comparison, the fighting style of Ichigo's sister is a lot more like Gintoki than anyone else. It made Takasugi nostalgic and hyped at the same time. He never imagined he could clash swords like this again since Gintoki is in the verge of death._

_"Why would she go there?!"_

_"Because she found out what you did." Ichigo stopped at that. He already knew of that possibility, but he still hoped for a little shine of another route. Now though, he knew he's screwed. "To her, you can't win this war and solve the case of the plague by endlessly fighting to take responsibility of your actions. If you don't want to pull punches, she decided to do just that,"_

_"The hell did you tell her?! Why this kind of idea— couldn't you at least be a responsible adult for once?! Why not tell her to talk to me first and I could've explained like what the heck?!"_

_"Well, she's smart enough not to let you stop her. She said she tried asking you, but of course, you never told her. The reason is obvious. You don't want her to feel responsible about it, and she knows that you'll do everything to protect her. That's not what she wants to happen."_

_"You implied that she's the flaw in this outcome, didn't you?" Ichigo glared daggers and his grip on his sword tightened._

_"If you think she's smart enough, you can trust that she'd figure out the flaw that resulted into this crisis, Ichigo,"_

_Ichigo couldn't find it in him to reply. As smart as his sister is, he couldn't bring himself to trust that she's going to let her rationality over her emotions. To him, the latter is more likely to take over, and he cannot afford that at all cost. He's angry, and frustrated. Maybe he might as well continue this sword fight to steam off, but his thoughts were put into halt as his phone began to ring._

_"Okay, time out," Ichigo deadpanned and excused himself before answering the phone. "Boss?"_

_**"Ju-yon, where are you?!"** _

_"I'm—"_

_**"Danna is not going to make it. Get your ass back here. NOW,"** with the urgency in his voice, Ichigo knew he isn't joking. He hurriedly left on the spot, not bothering to fill Takasugi in. The joi patriot didn't have to hear it though. His face already bore a grim look on his face. He knew what's going on. _

_Ichigo didn't have much time on his hands. _He_ didn't have much time left. _

_......._  
.....  
... 

_An hour have never felt shorter than a minute as he held Gintoki's boney hand. Time isn't gold. It's a damn silver._

_"Oyaji... I told you not to die on me," Ichigo panicked. Gintoki's heart rate is dropping every second. Though he already saw it coming, he was never prepared for this. He never wanted to. Not again._

_"It's going to be fine. Don't worry. You kids are going to be fine. You're our kids of course. Besides... I've wanted to see him again." Gintoki gave a weak smile, hoping it can do wonders of reassurance to his son, though he knew it wouldn't be that effective. Hijikata smiled at him on his last breath too, saying thanks. It was never soothing. It still broke him inside into a million pieces. He couldn't even manage to keep his eyes open at this point. Great. Ichigo will begin to freak out more now. Just when Gintoki wanted him to calm down._

_"Oi! Oyaji! Oi!" and there goes the expected freaking out._

_"Step back, Ju-yon," Sougo had to drag him away forcefully so that the medical team can tend to Gintoki, but he it's too late. He knew. Gintoki won't make it._

_Ichigo's tense muscles soon went limp as he saw everything before his eyes. His heartbeat was out, and even after the doctor's rigorous efforts, they weren't able to bring it back. Then he heard declaration and time. He knew it. He's gone...again._

_..._  
..  
. 

_The haven faced more medical difficulties and food shortage. It helped that his sister was able to produce a vaccine before running away, so the virus didn't have more victims, but the ones already infected were all still bound to die sooner or later. Another death is merely a number now that countless die out of the plague and the war they're endlessly fighting. Even so, Ichigo held the funeral. He arranged everything and a few people like Sougo, Kagura, Shinpachi, and Kondo came. More people soon arrived, sending him their condolences, but he just can't function well to give them the appropriate response. They all understood how hard it must be for him. It couldn't be helped. With both parents gone, a sister missing, and the world nearing its end, nothing is going on his favor._

_He held a strong front and he never cried. That worried them more. The guy looked more dead than the cremated Gintoki. He then decided to go back to the battlefield again. Apparently, the haven is about to be breached with the thinning line of defense they have. They need all the manpower they can get, but Kondo vehemently refused to the idea. He said he'll just be another dead weight on them in his state, so he wouldn't be much of a help. Ichigo knew that Kondo only meant well, and chose the harsher way to phrase it, so it can pierce through his thick skull. Soon enough, he agreed. He have other things to do anyway._

_He went back to their old house in Kabukicho which was pretty much destroyed into rubles to core, but he still rummaged through things. The Kabukicho now looks like a ghost town with abandoned houses and annihilated lands. The war took a huge toll, but he's not in the place to complain how things turned out. He's responsible of it all after all. It took him a couple of hours before he managed to find the thing he was looking for. Good thing he hid it well that it wasn't completely wrecked into pieces with all the destruction._

_Proud of his achievement, he went to his next location. It was still in Kabukicho. It was a bunker an old man made who refused to relocate in the haven. He made his way in after being granted with permission. As soon as he saw the person he was looking for, he immediately went down into business and set the camera on the old man's working table filled with tools and the sort._

_"How long does it take to get this fixed?" he asked._

_The old man looked up. He's actually half cyborg now. That's basically the reason why he managed to survive being out there instead of staying in the haven like all the others. He didn't need that much food that they're falling short as of the moment. That's also one of the reasons why he still didn't die out of the old age with such circumstances._

_"You're one twisted kid. Did Ginoji's death—" the old man didn't dare to continue his sentence. He knew the kid has his reasons, and he trusted that it's reasonable enough, so instead, he said, "Ahh you're just like him aren't cha? It's hard to believe I'm not talking to the same person. He once came to me as well, demanding me to make a time machine out of the blue with no proper explanation. How do you plan on fixing all of this?"_

_Ichigo then smiled at the question, "You said I'm just like him. I don't think I can give you a proper one too, gramps,"_

_It was Gengai's turn to give a robotic chuckle. "I see. Well then. This thing shouldn't take long,"_  
  
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"What is it?" Sougo asked, finally having enough of the yato girl's weird silence as they walked around the Kabukicho. Was it the collar? Is she finally feeling some shame? Sougo gave her a glance and confirmed that it's definitely not the case. She's still very shameless with the thought of unlimited food in courtesy of Sougo, so she can forget the existence of the collar around her neck.

"I think my Papi has been following us,"

"Oh, you just noticed? He's been spying on you since this morning," Sougo replied. 

"What do you mean me? I bet he's been watching YOU! Gin-san and him has these kinds of tendencies. They become worried of what someone like you would do with a pure and innocent girl like—" Kagura suddenly paused again, making Sougo look back at her yet again. 

"What is it this time? This he finally grew some hair from following us all day?" Sougo asked. 

"Gin-chan is still not back yet, right?" Kagura asked. 

"Yeah. I called Hijikata-san this morning, and he said he's left at home because of his hangover. Why?" the sadist replied. 

"Nothing. I just thought I saw Gin-chan with a black wig. I thought he was spying around with papi as well." Kagura shrugged. "I was probably just seeing things though. I miss Gin-chan so much," Kagura whined.

Sougo gave him an unamused look and pulled the leash, having enough of her whining at such age. They aren't that young anymore. Kagura is almost 18 and Sougo is already 21. "Shut up. Pigs don't talk."

"You're just jealous because I miss Gin-chan and I will never miss you," Kagura teased. 

"Don't make me discipline you, uncivilized pig. You'll regret saying that later on and come running back here to receive another spanking," Sougo said. 

"EWW! Don't say shit like that aru! Papi will think something seriously disgusting if he heard—"

 

 

 

"GET AWAY FROM KAGURAAAAAAAA!!!!!" 

 

Uh oh. 

 

 

 

 

"Run!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Namaye](https://arahiro-kun.tumblr.com/image/180107602568)  
>  **art by ikyuvaliantvalentine || from hinagiku27**
> 
>  
> 
> A huge thank you to **hinagiku27** for commissioning the artist to send this amazing gift to me!!!
> 
> while writing, I realized there's a possibility that I couldn't wrap everything in the remaining 3 chapters. Maybe there will be an additional chapter(or two) dunno. I even had to cut out the smut in this chapter too (I also have zero confidence with the smut part so it had to go *sweats*)


	28. Too much Movies Affects Judgment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki gets his memory back, but it's not as big of a deal as the rest of the part of this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live!! After a month and a half, I finally managed to update again. I know, I didn't properly check this one, so expect a lot of typos and errors.

It was a fine day... Well, until a space pirate ship suddenly decided to ~~crash~~ park in the Shinsengumi's garden and destroyed a quarter of the building. 

Most of the men in Shinsengumi uniform rushed outside and surrounded the ship in an instant. They demanded for the people in the ship to state their identity and business after just deciding to land on that area. Kondo made his appearance with a hard look on his face to assess the situation, and Sougo was just at his back, not that interested of the commotion as expected. 

"THIS IS THE SHINSENGUMI! ADDRESS YOURSELVES AND STATE YOUR BUSINESS!" Harada yelled out again after not receiving a response from anyone in the ship. He was about to shout again, but he was immediately put into silence as a young man suddenly jumped out of the ship and was about to behead him if only Sougo was a second late to block the attack. 

Harada fell silent as the cold sweat trickled down his face. He stepped back to regain his balance after Sougo maneuvered them over for a counterattack. The attacker in question dodged the attack with impressive agility, and it's just what Sougo wanted. The attacker was successfully distanced from them.. for now at least. 

"Hands on your sword, Harada." Sougo commanded with high superiority in his tone that Harada snapped out of his frozen state. 

"Woah, that was a fun greeting." the attacker smiled with such enthusiasm in his tone. 

"It would've been a lot more entertaining if you ate the ground," Sougo replied then changed his mind. "Nah, it would be disappointing to find out that you actually grew that weak,"

"Sougo," Kondo said with a warning tone. They have to be conscious of this one. Sougo understood that well. The ship may be filled with his troops, and They're very much sure that their men can't possibly win against a bunch of yato troops. Many of the men will die. They have to know the man's intention first, and so, the man in question stepped closer to say something, but before he could, Namaye called his attention. 

"Does Shinsuke-san know you're here, Kamui?" Namaye asked from a distance inside the half destroyed building. 

"Ah, so you've been here all these years, Namaji?" Kamui greeted her gleefully. "It has been a while! It's such a shame we couldn't continue the business without you. Oh I know! Since I found you here anyway, I'll just fetch you after I take care of this other business, 'kay?"

 _"So he's not here for Namaye..."_ Kondo exchanged glances with Sougo, confirming that their previous speculation was wrong, but it will be another problem later. Hijikata will kill them if they let Kamui take her.

"We'll see about that," Namaye shrugged. "Good luck with your current business," she then said with a smug look on her face. 

_"Wait, so she has an idea of what's going on?! The bitch has the nerve—"_

"Woops," Kamui hopped and successfully took Sougo's attention by sending him another punch. Sougo immediately drew his sword and swung it to slice the incoming fist. Kamui saw it through and took a different move midair with a menacing grin on his face. Sougo changed his stance as well, but before they can even exchange blows, their momentum was suddenly interfered by an outside force, namely, Kagura's fists that sent the two of them apart from each other. 

"What's the big deal, China?" Sougo complained. 

"Oh? So you're protecting your boyfriend now? I'm telling you lil sis, that degrades a man's—"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING MY BOYFRIEND?!"

"Who else was I trying to kill?"

"Oho?" Sougo said in mockery, "So oni-chan here is worried because he heard his little sister is dating someone?"

"I'M NOT DATING ANYONE!" Kagura protested, which was ignored, of course. 

"Who's worried? You can keep her for all I care. I came here to remove your balls to avoid unwanted pregnancy."

"Uhh.." Yamazaki stepped closer to Kondo to whisper to him. "What's going on, Kondo-san?"

"Take a good look of it, Zaki. This could be Yato's way of marriage meetings," Kondo replied. 

"HOW IS THIS A MARRIAGE MEETING?! HE WANTS TO REMOVE OKITA-TAICHO'S BALLS TO—"

"Shut up, Zaki," Namaye threw his badminton racket at him, successfully shutting him up. "Why do we have to go that far? Your sister is one of the last women in your race, so it's not a bad idea to procreate,"

"WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT PROCREATING ARU?!" Kagura yelled out. 

"You see, Namaji, I don't want a nephew with this guy's genes." Kamui explained. "Our superior DNA will be tainted with a lowlife DNA. You know the sciencey stuff. You get get it," 

"You can just kill him and get on with it, you know," Namaye suggested nonchalantly. She's done with Sougo's bullshit for making her miserable while Hijikata is not there. 

"Namaye-san!" Yamazaki apparently didn't get the joke... or he did, but he doubts that Kamui wouldn't take it as a joke. 

"Oh, that's not a bad idea at all, Namaji!" Kamui's face lit up. 

"Okay, you just broke my heart, Namaye. I'm breaking up with you," Sougo said in monotony with disinterested eyes at Namaye. 

"My parents are too strict to let me have a jerk for a boyfriend in the first place. Why would I date y—"

 

"YOU CHEATING ASSHOLE!!!" Umibozu, who has been eavesdropping undercover the entire time suddenly showed up to finish the job. 

 

Aaand things went quite out of hand. 

 

 

.  
.  
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"How is Sougo in the hospital?" Hijikata said in disbelief. The brat can be quite a menace and rash, bit he's not the kind of guy who usually goes for a trip to the hospital. 

**"Ahh... You see, fukucho, Kamui came to remove his balls but—"**

"What?" what in the world did he just hear? 

**"Oh, that's not what ended it. China's father thought he was dating Namaye-san so he was dead set on killing him for cheating on his daughter. Kamui joined in, but instead of beating Okita-taicho as well, he was attacking his father, saying that they have scores to settle with each other first."**

"That's why I told Sougo to be nice to his in laws." Hijikata hummed. 

**"It's not a joking matter, Fukucho,"** Yamazaki whined. **"Half of the headquarters was destroyed and everything is a mess right now. We need you back here with Danna,"**

"Is my office good?" Hijikata inquired. 

**"Uh, yeah. It's in the other side of the— fukucho! This is serious! They're still after Okita-taicho's life!"**

"Then let them do me a favor and get rid of that asshole," Hijikata replied. "How was Namaye? Did Kamui actually attempted to take her with him?"

"No, he totally forgot about that when he was fighting with his dad. Namaye wasn't really interested too, so she just went back to her room in the middle of the chaos."

"That sounds just like her alright," Hijikata simply hummed, albeit he's really relieved that Namaye is fine. 

**"Please tell me you'll be back soon. Kondo-san's hands are full—"**

"Stalking that Shimura woman," Hijikata finished the sentence before Yamazaki can make any made up scenarios. 

**"If you already know, please be back here,"**

Hijikata sighed. He can actually wrap everything up the next day, but he was hoping he can still take Ichigo somewhere and spend time with his family after a busy week, but apparently, he couldn't do it with a clean conscience as of the moment. He'll have to make it up to the kid big time on his birthday that is just a matter of days away. 

"Fine. Expect us to be back the next day. I need everything prepared when I get there,"

.  
.  
.  
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.

 

Kagura had to leave as soon as the trio were finally back in Edo. She bid everyone goodbye except Sougo who was still in the hospital. She didn't want to admit it, but she was definitely disappointed when she found out that he couldn't make it. Kamui was already gone without a trace before they knew it and little did she know that Kamui was just in the hospital, spreading evil around the place. Sougo just offhandedly ignored everything anyway. 

Surprisingly, before Kagura can depart with the ship, she received a single email. 

 

_Do me a favor and don't ever come back. Dare to get back here and you're exclusively my property._

 

Kagura smirked in response and sent him a reply. 

 

_As if! I'd like to see you try._

 

........

 

 

Hijikata was busy fixing the mess in the Shinsengumi the first thing they're back. Gintoki was not really happy about it, but he didn't complain. He knew it's hard for Hijikata too. Besides, that way, he was able to spend more time with Ichigo since the kid is now staying with him for the week. They even decided to hold his 4th birthday there. He already thinks that it's not a good idea, considering the people who can randomly barge in inside his household (aka Sacchan and ect.). 

No wonder Ichigo's birthday every year is held in a place with tight security. He always thought Hijikata was being beyond overprotective, but knowing about the situation of Ayane, he understood why all the security has been necessary. He didn't like the thought of that. He didn't like the fact that Hijikata has been trying to protect the kid and himself from that lunatic over the years and he was being utterly useless all throughout the process. Well, not this year. His son is not having another birthday fearing another sudden disturbance, so he went straight to the problem. 

 

"Yo," Gintoki greeted the woman before him. He doesn't remember her at all, but he's been informed enough of the woman. Hijikata has been fighting off the family's wealth and influence to protect Ichigo over the years, and his job being a government dog wasn't helping at all. Gintoki however is another case. 

"Oh, it's been a while, Sakata-san." the woman smiled. It unnerved Gintoki. "Well, I suppose you don't really remember me, do you?"

"At least, not yet," Gintoki leaned his back against the backrest. "I'm guessing you have a way to hand them over back to my brain where is rightfully belongs,"

"And you're not wrong about that," She smiled. 

"Good, that will make things faster."

"My, I don't think you understand, Sakata-san. After all these years, you think I'll really just give it back to you just like that? I'm just a step closer until I'm out of here. There, I can finally be with my wonderful son and Hijikata-san,"

"Who are you calling your son?" did the lunatic just claimed his own flesh and blood?? 

"Oh, you see, he may have a part of your DNA, but it was me who's been there all along. You were just his babysitter, and me on the other hand—"

"Got stuck again in a mental facility over a year after trying to abduct Hijikata and _my son_ ," Gintoki finished the sentence for her. "I thought you're educated enough to earn a license as a pediatrician, but apparently, you're not aware that abducting people and trying to have control over them is not the way to have a family."

Ayane's expression changed, not bothering to hide her displeasure. "I don't expect you to understand—"

"Oh please, I don't intend to try being considerate enough to understand you. Let me get this straight. Hijikata, is not Himeno Tsubaki," Gintoki went straight to the core of the problem. He didn't miss that Ayane visibly flinched at the name.  
"So the name ringed a bell. Good. Now that guy who saved you nine years ago was Himeno-kun. You had a child with this Himeno guy but after the car accident with him, you lost the baby, your uterus, and your boyfriend. You're the only one who survived. Your head went crazy since then. After Hijikata saved you from a minor stuff, you started replacing all your memories with Himeno and merged them with Hijikata, which is pretty fucked up if you ask me,"

"Shut up," her head started to pound. It's like the walls in her head are being forcibly torn down. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

"Hijikata will never be Himeno and Ichigo will never be your unborn kid," Gintoki added more salt on the wound. "Doing this is just dishonoring them, idiot. Wouldn't you wanna know who caused that accident nine years ago?"

With that, he successfully took the woman's attention, and she visibly paused, contemplating about the offer. 

"I can help you find who killed them. That way, you can give them proper justice instead of trying to replace them with the fakes your brain created." Gintoki offered, "Of course, you will have to come into my terms,"

 

.  
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"Where were you?" A beyond furious Hijikata greeted him at his doorstep. Behind the man was a rowdy noise from the living room and sure enough, Gintoki knew that it was already filled with people. He's late. "It's your kid's birthday, and he's been looking all day for you."

He knows Hijikata is really mad and all, but it didn't stop him to suddenly hug the man tightly. He can't believe it. It took him four damn years before he gave justice to himself for being shut away from the truth. He felt a spark of anger why everything had to happen, but immediately dissolved the moment Hijikata gently rubbed his back, albeit it's showing how awkward Hijikata is. 

"O—oi. What happened to you?" Hijikata asked, and Gintoki had to bite off the grin threatening to spread wider on his face. Worried tsundere Hijikata is a rare Hijikata. 

"I have my year worth of brain data now," Gintoki mumbled against the fabric of Hijikata's clothes as he placed his head on his shoulder. 

Hijikata then went silent and he then felt being hugged back just as tightly. "Took you long enough, damn it," Gintoki chuckled, but his mirth didn't last long because Hijikata suddenly pulled away and hit him hard like he wasn't hugging him so tenderly just a second ago. 

"Ow! What was that for?!" Gintoki complained. 

"You're still late," Back to pissed off Hijikata again. "Ichigo was really disappointed."

The perm head can only sigh. He knew it's his bad, and he didn't want to argue with Hijikata in his son's birthday. He should just calm the mayora down, right? "My bad. I'll make it up to Ichigo. I just had to make sure we wouldn't be needing your shinsengumi dogs sniffing around everytime there's an occasion like this. I want the kid to enjoy a birthday without that lunatic for once,"

At that notion, Hijikata's hardened expression changed, realizing what the perm head actually did, "I told you Gintoki—"

"I said, I'll take care of it, and I did. She won't be on our tails again. I made sure she's taken care of for good."

"Her family will—"

"She already found out that her own parents schemed the entire accident. Apparently, it's your usual Romeo and Juliet drama where parents don't approve of the guy and so. She wasn't supposed to be in that car as well, so she got caught up with it. The surgery had to remove her uterus with her to save her, and that explains why she couldn't bear a child anymore," Gintoki explained. "Now, her twisted mind's attention in fully set on getting revenge for what happened,"

"You know about Himeno?" Hijikata was completely shocked how Gintoki knew about these things, until it dawned to him. Sougo. He's been investigating for a way to get rid of her for good, and they found out about Himeno, but then, he couldn't do much about the information with the influence of the family with the bakufu and his title as the Shinsengumi Vice-commander isn't helping at all. 

"Why are we talking about this here? Our kid's birthday party is inside," Gintoki flashed a grin, and put an arm around his shoulders to maneuver him inside. He didn't fight it as they heard eager footsteps approaching despite the loud noise of the people inside. 

"DADA CAME! DADA CAME!" Ichigo happily announced and clung onto Gintoki's neck. Good, at least he's not sulking that his old man was late. 

"Yup, Dada is definitely here," Gintoki lifted him up in his arms. 

"Weren't you sulking a moment ago that your dada is late?" Hijikata asked, proving his point to Gintoki. Gintoki winced at the thought alone. 

"I was! But the nii-chan earlier gave me a strawberry milk and told me that I shouldn't be mad at dada because I'm lucky I still got one. Nii-chan said his dada died just recently." the kid explained. Wait— nii-chan? He doesn't remember anyone that the kid calls nii-chan. If the kid doesn't address the person with a name, the guy has to be a stranger. Fuck. 

Hijikata exchanged glances with Gintoki and Hijikata immediately called Yamazaki to look around the area for a suspicious guy that managed to talk to the kid. 

Gintoki sighed. Just when he thought he finally solved the issue. Now, Hijikata is freaking out again. "Ichigo, how many times do we have to remind you about talking to strangers? Your mama and I has a lot of enemies that can go after you. I thought you already understood that,"

"But the Nii-chan gave me strawberry milk!"

"You can't let people bribe you with strawberry milk!"

"But dada let's people bribe him with money!"

"Oi oi oi, shush," Gintoki frantically checked if Hijikata heard the kid. Thankfully, he's too busy giving around orders and asking the butt naked Kondo something Gintoki doesn't want to know.  
"I thought we agreed over a parfait promise that you won't let your mama know about that." this is stupid. He's arguing with a toddler. He scratched his head in annoyance. This whole day is getting more and more ridiculous. Well, isn't every episode of Gintama ridiculous to begin with? Well, that's not the issue. He has some serious parenting to do with his kid being very kidnappable.

"Seriously, young perm, stop talking to strangers just because they give you something nice," you can only do that when you're already a grown up like dada. 

"But the Nii-chan looked really lonely, dada,"

"I don't care. That's more dangerous. Kidnappers can be just too lonely, so they go and abduct kids," Gintoki still refused to relent. 

"But he is not a bad guy! I promise!"

"Oh yeah? How can you say that?" Gintoki crossed his arms with a look that seems like he's challenging his kid to actually prove his point. 

"Because I heard his name before! We have the same name!" Ichigo insisted. 

"He was just copying your name to make you interested. It's a marketing strategy for kidnappers too,"

"He's not! He's not Hijikata Ichigo. You mentioned his name a lot, so I thought you know him dada!"

"Why would I name my kid after someone I know? I'm like your father?? Why would I use another guy's name??"

"No! You mentioned his name before! He said he's Kurosaki Ichigo!"

"Kuro— wha?!" Gintoki couldn't believe this. He groaned in resignation and lifted his son back up again. He's not gonna win this. Plus, it's the kid's birthday today. He's gonna let him win for now and save the lecture about talking to strangers later. They just have to keep a better eye on him for now. 

Meanwhile, the man who called himself Kurosaki Ichigo watched from a distance wearing a Shinsengumi uniform as he disappeared into the darkness of the night. It was suddenly cold again. 

 

 

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"Toushiro," Gintoki called out. Hijikata vividly flinched at the notion of using his first name, but he didn't get angry or yelled at Gintoki to tell him to shut up and stop it. It became a more frequent thing for him to call him that in front of the kid, so he gave up on stopping the perm head from doing so. Ichigo complains whenever Hijikata is called Hijikata anyway. 

"What do you want?" Hijikata responded with a grunt. 

They're in the middle of fixing the mess in the road because of an amanto pet that Prince Hata failed to properly look after again. Hijikata and Gintoki was full of slime and Hijikata is begrudgingly looking for the cursed item that the damn amanto swallowed so they have to make it throw up (they could've just killed it and rip the stomach open, but of course, the dumb prince specifically instructed them not to hurt it. So much to Hijikata's frustration) and this happened. 

"I need to tell you something about that cursed item," Gintoki looked serious, but he seemed really fidgety that Hijikata had to stop whatever he's doing to give him his full attention. They're looking for the damn cursed item because Gintoki said it has the power to grant the wearer the greatest privilege in the universe, yet at the same time it is with a curse. 

"Did you find it?" Hijikata furrowed his brows, beginning to be suspicious of this sudden change of behavior. 

"Y—yeah. Uh.. So about this cursed item... It all happened a long time ago,"

"Oi! Don't give me a damn flashback right here! This is not the best time to explain something heavy like that—"

"Let people finish talking when they're trying to tell you something okay?! I might not be able to say this forever!" Gintoki suddenly burst out, so Hijikata stopped. So is this urgent and serious curse? It appears so. It looks like Gintoki is very wary about this one. Hijikata swallowed the lump in his throat and put his serious look, preparing himself to whatever big problem they're about to face this time. 

"So, as I was saying, this cursed item was given to me by an old woman for a reasonable bargain," Bargain? What reasonable bargain? Hijikata seriously doubts Gintoki's definition of reasonable. Despite his thoughts, Hijikata kept it to himself and let Gintoki continue.  
"She said I should find the item's rightful owner, or else I will be cursed forever."

"Okay?" Hijikata can't seem to find how it is relevant. Maybe it will make sense soon enough so he began to probe. "So all we have to do is find the chosen one like some _I got the Trident_ proof thing?"

"Uh, no. I think I found him," Gintoki immediately said, to Hijikata's surprise. 

"Oh? Okay, so what are we waiting for? Let's—" Hijikata cut off his thoughts when Gintoki suddenly held out the cursed item to him. 

"Okay, wear it," Gintoki said.

"Eh?"

Hijikata.exe stopped working. What the hell is going on? The _cursed item_ , as Gintoki called it, is a silver band which is basically identified as a ring. Hijikata didn't understand. _"Okay, so it's a wrong movie reference. It's Lord of the Rings thing."_ he thought. 

"Oi! What are you doing just standing there?? Do you want me to get cursed for eternity?!" Gintoki snapped him out of his thoughts. 

"That looks like a normal ring to me," Gintoki. 

"How dare you disrespect this ring! Have you heard the saying don't judge the book by its cover??"

"Then how did I become the rightful owner of that huh??! This is a trap isn't it? You're just passing the curse to me if I wear that ring!" Now Hijikata was suddenly very wary.

"What kind of reference are you using oi!" Gintoki yelled back. "Wear it you asshole! Do you have an idea what I went through just to get this thing?!"

"I completely understand, Gintoki. I had the same case when I was cursed with this demonic sword, but it's no use if you try to pass it on to me—"

"How did this conversation end up with your damn sword??"

This thing turned out to be a complete mess. Well, what can they expect? Sougo sighed and decided to step out from the sidelines. This isn't working. 

"Danna," Sougo drawled as he called out for the perm head's attention. "This is a lame idea of trying to propose to someone,"

 

.

 

 

"Ha?" Hijikata gawked, and Gintoki was suddenly petrified.

"What? You were trying to propose Gin-san??" Shinpachi popped out. Oh. So he was there? No one actually cared, nor paid attention to him. Gintoki just remained petrified. 

"You should've told us! So that's why you've been taking those shady jobs and hang around that tacky antique shop." Shipachi pointed out. Wait, shady jobs? What antique shop??

_"Do you have an idea what I went through just to get this thing?!"_

_"So, as I was saying, this cursed item was given to me by an old woman for a reasonable bargain,"_

Hijikata finally understood. The damn perm head really had to do it like this? So he's been hiding this until the amanto beast decided to eat it along with Gintoki's entire wardrobe? Now that explains why he's been really weird lately, and it looked like he's having some serious problems. How long have this been bothering him? 

Hijikata chuckled and it automatically cured the petrified Gintoki. The perm head was not expecting a reaction like that from Hijikata. He didn't know what to expect, actually. He can only imagine the worst, since it's the thing that seemed most probable. Damn. His insecurities has been eating him alive. Gintoki was never a romantic sap if he's in character, and he didn't know what to do in a situation like this, well, neither did Hijikata. Heck, he never expected Gintoki to propose. He was thinking along the lines of just having an agreement of marriage through a marriage meeting or some sort. Well, he isn't complaining. 

"So how is that ring supposed to grant me the greatest privilege in the universe?" Hijikata laughed, and finally, Gintoki calmed down and smiled. Laughing Hijikata is another rare Hijikata. 

"The greatest privilege of being Sakata Gintoki's husband, of course." Gintoki finally recollected his confidence that has been absent for quite sometime. 

"And how are you cursed if I wouldn't accept that?" Hijikata asked, and Gintoki's smile turned sad. 

"I don't even want to imagine losing you again, idiot. If I don't consider that as a curse, then I don't know what is," Gintoki stepped closer to him and took his hand. This time, he had enough confidence to ask him properly, "Hijikata Toushiro, accept this ring as a confirmation that you're willing to be Sakata Toushiro for the rest of your life, and be granted with the privilege to be my husband,"

"Ah? What's with that proposal? Why does it sound like I should be thankful that you're asking me to marry you, you dumb shit?" Hijikata responded. Though he tried to look offended, he obviously looked contented. 

"Because you should be, asshole. Just say yes already. I'm trying to involve the government here so you can't leave," Gintoki spat back. 

"That doesn't sound very appealing."

"That's basically how marriage is, you prick. I'm serious here. Are you gonna be mine for real or not?" Gintoki is getting impatient, and it's showing. It didn't fail to amuse Hijikata further. 

"As if I'd really say no, idiot," Hijikata scoffed, and Gintoki grinned from ear to ear, still not believing his ears. He placed the ring on his now fiance's finger and leaned close to kiss him, but Hijikata stopped him midway. Gintoki immediately pulled out a frown. "You literally just accepted my proposal. How am I not allowed to kiss you?"

"You're covered in slime," Hijikata replied. 

"Like you're one to talk!" Gintoki huffed. 

 

They began exchanging light arguments again as they went out from the messy slime area. Sougo joined in immediately with Shipachi that happily congratulated the two. It was all good until Yamazaki came running to them in a mad rush. They already knew that this couldn't be good. 

 

"Fukucho! It's an emergency! Namaye— it looks like we're infiltrated! Namaye is gone!"

"WHAT?!" Yamazaki wanted to run for his life so much with this kind of response from Hijikata. "HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?!" Hijikata was so mad he cut his cigarette by biting it too hard. 

"W—we don't know yet fukucho. She suddenly vanished and her collar was removed. We're not sure how, but it was removed and was left behind in her room. Maybe she was abducted after cleaning your room."

"Cleaning my what? She hates doing chores, Yamazaki. She wouldn't clean my room even if she likes hanging out in there."

"Well, your room was strangely clean when we checked it. We considered the fact that she escaped, but there were signs of struggle or fighting back in her room. We can only assume that she was taken by force,"

"It could be Takasugi's doing. No one else knows about Namaye. Kamui was here not long ago too. If someone wants to get her, it would be that man. Tell Sougo to come in my office. We're retrieving her at all cost."

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Her head was pounding. That's what brought Namaye back to her consciousness. She lifted her eyelids open and was immediately alarmed of her surroundings. Her arms and feet were tied down, and it's weird that she can tell that the knots were astonishingly well done. She can say it's awfully familiar, and whoever abducted her were really careful enough.

She observed more of her soundings, and figured that she couldn't be in solid ground. Is she... In a ship? She was thinking of an escape plan when she suddenly heard someone talking. 

 

"Well, was your running away from home experience fun? I seriously thought you ran away to elope and marry. I even went to double check if Sora is actually dead then destroyed half of your Shin-chan's ship. I couldn't think of anyone else. I began to think you've been hiding this secret lover and— well, anyway, you had your fun, yeah? Good, 'coz we're going home."

 

She couldn't believe it. Her mouth was left agape for the duration of the man's litany, and when it was over, she closed it to open it again to say something in response, but nothing came out at first. It took her another series of seconds before she managed to say a single word:

 

"Aniki..."

 

 

The man in question glanced at her with an unreadable expression with his dead fish eyes. It always reminded her of their old man. 

"Good, your head is still intact, and you can still remember me. Now let's go home."

"No," she firmly refused. 

"Ma—"

"I know everything aniki!"

"Oh yeah? Good, you can replace google now,"

"Aniki!" she yelled in frustration. How can he still take everything like it's all a big joke? How can he still treat her like a child? "I know what you did,"

"I've been told," Ichigo avoided her gaze. It made her scoff in response. It's bullshit to her. 

"All this time, you've been lying to me," a tear escaped from her eye, and she couldn't wipe the evidence away with her hands tied. "You knew it was all because of me."

"No. If the midget told you everything, you understood that it was my fault, you hear?" It was a hard NO, but she just squeezed her eyes shut as she shook her head, expressing her disapproval. 

"It's all because you had to let someone who was fated to die live. I'm trying to fix everything for us, aniki. Why can't you just—"

"This is stupid. You can't just hop inside Nobita's drawer and time travel like this. Stop messing with the timeline,"

"Why not? You did the same thing," She scoffed. 

"Oi," Ichigo's tone darkens with warning. She knew it wouldn't be pretty if she kept this up, but she still did.

"Aniki, I had to die... If you just think rationally, you'll understand that I still have to. We can't—,"

"The world can die for all I care!" Ichigo suddenly yelled at her, and it took the poor girl aback. They fight a lot, but Ichigo has never been like this towards her. Ichigo noticed it upon seeing his sister's reaction, and he slowly deflated with a heavy sigh. "I can't lose you too, okay? Oyaji— oyaji is gone.."

 

"A—," she was about to say something, but she bit back her words. And muffled her sobs. She didn't make it in time. The thought plagued her mind until she thought of an idea. Maybe she didn't make it happen earlier, but if she fixes it, Gintoki may not have to die. "Aniki, I can still fix this,"

"For the last time, NO!" He yelled out the last word for emphasis, but the girl didn't fallback. 

"Aniki, if you just listen—"

 

"You don't understand... I can't lose everything again,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for this major delay. My job has been stressing me out a lot to the point that I'm thinking of quitting the next month. I wonder if you guys are still here to follow this story haha. Thank you for all the comments. I really appreciate it and got me back to writing again. Looking forward to hear again from you guys as this story comes to an end!


	29. Unlike in TV, Nothing Goes Exactly as Planned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Aniki..," 
> 
> Damn it... What now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me more than two weeks, but hey! At least not a month yet. I didn't properly check this one as always, so please forgive my errors.

Namaye went out on the battlefield despite the fact that her brother never allowed her to. Almost everyone came back infected with the plague or defeated with death. It was an endless fight and everyone knew that they can't win. Among all the troops that went out, Ichigo was one of those who always came back safe. Not even once that he got any symptoms of getting infected. She was thankful for that, but she still can't help but worry. Everyone she held dear kept on dying. 

When Sora fought and returned, heavily infected, she made up her mind. She has to see what's out there, and she has to stop it. She's been looking for a cure without even seeing the source of the problem. All that she knew is that all of the infected ones had was bitten by sort of an insect and it started terrorizing the victim from the inside. 

Sora died, and she tried to set out along with the troops, but Sougo didn't allow her, following Ichigo's wishes of protecting his only sister. It never settled right with her. She set out secretly the next morning and secretly assisted the medical team outside. With Gengai's help, the haven was covered with a protective technology that prevents the parasites from penetrating inside. All the troops that set out had to wear a special gear so that they wouldn't get infected. Once the gear is off, they'd be vulnerable with the parasites. 

She always wondered what the enemy looked like. When she did see them with her own eyes, she understood that it's a fight that they can't win. After the parasite feasts over the body from the inside, it takes over the rotten lump of meat that was once someone's body. It's just an endless loop. Slice it up, it will just pull the parts together again. Turning it to dust has been the best solution so far, but they don't have enough resources to reproduce the equipment. 

Some of the residents chose to evacuate and left the planet dying while a few chose to stay also for the ones who were already infected. The planet was suddenly put into quarantine and no one was allowed to go to the outer space, because they might spread the plague, so most of them got stranded and died, which now turned into the endlessly rotting flesh that the troops are trying their best to eliminate. Even an idiot can tell that it's a lost cause. 

That wasn't what pushed her to the truth though. She accidently fell on a cliff and her gear was broken, so a part of her skin got exposed and a parasite did bite her. She freaked out, but what made her freak out more is when she saw the parasite dying as it immediately went out of the wound in desperation of survival. It evidently died in less than a minute after it tried to manifest inside her wound. It shocked her beyond belief, but she's a practicing doctor and she goes by the scientific way of finding things out. There's a hypothesis, of course she should experiment. She further exposed her arm to attract more parasites, and the same thing happened. They all died. 

She then understood. So that's why her brother was never infected. That's why he kept on fighting... He knew, didn't he? He just didn't want her to find out. Why is she and her brother immune to the plague? It didn't make any sense, until she realized a vital fact. Gintoki is the one who withstood the infection the longest. Most of them dies after a month, but Gintoki lived for almost a year even though he got bedridden and all. He survived the longest. She went back to her lab. She needs answers. 

With further research, she understood that it was her DNA signature. She successfully created a vaccine thanks to that, and decided to ask the person she knew, that wouldn't lie about this entire ordeal. 

 

"Shin-chan," She said, getting inside Takasugi's lair. Strangely, he chose to stay behind as well, saying that he prefers a front seat view of the world's demise. 

"I suppose they're not aware that you're here," Takasugi scoffed as he took a drag from his pipe.

"You know about what's going on, don't you? You chose to stay here. Aniki went to see you here before everything was this worse,"

"Of course, I need something from him to keep me from spilling anything out, well, since you found out on your own, there's no need for that, correct?"

"I studied the parasites. They all have a small fragment of a DNA that matches with mine and aniki's. It doesn't match my old man's DNA, but it has a slower effect on him. Tell me what's going on."

"Hijikata Toushiro died, and his amanto-infested corpse was nowhere to be found. Ichigo has been suspecting that the parasite evolved with Hijikata's DNA and for some reason, it all turned out into this," Takasugi said it in simple terms necessary. 

"So they die when they try to prey on us because we have stronger DNA signatures?" She confirmed her theory. 

"You're the doctor, you tell me. The only thing clear to me is that this present situation that we have, is the the future that your brother created when he went back in time and altered the past." Takasugi smirked. 

She was left gawking. Is he kidding? Well, he never did, but she didn't see that one coming. "What? I—. Why would he do that?"

"Because he lost everything. He lost both you and Hijikata when giving birth, then he lost Gintoki in a war that followed shortly after. Almost the same scenario. A lot of people died, and he's left with none."

"He..." she's looking for words that suddenly ran out of her brain. "We were all supposed to... die?"

"Are you familiar with the Butterfly effect?" Takasugi asked. "The concept is simple. A flap of a butterfly's wings causes the storm of tomorrow. How would you solve that?"

"Exterminate the butterfly? That's what aniki was trying to do? Get rid of the cause of his future? But..." she doesn't understand. So this isn't how it's all supposed to be. Ichigo endured all of it, knowing that it's his fault, and knowing that everything could've been worse on his end. 

"I'm the only one who knows because I'm the one he approached when he went back in time. It's hard to find someone in the past who would support him and just watch chaos unfold before their eyes." Takasugi chuckled at that. She didn't take the dark humor in it. 

"What... did my brother change? What's the cause of this future?"

"I can't say exactly. A small action like a single wing flap of a butterfly can do so much unimaginable change. But if you're asking exactly what your brother changed, it's you."

"What?"

"Your fate was death along with your mother. He said, Hijikata was supposed to have you stillborn, and he died shortly without Gintoki. Ichigo said Gintoki blamed himself about everything and he died in the war that followed shortly after you and Hijikata died. To change that, he had to make sure you will be born healthy and Hijikata will deliver you with Gintoki around. It had been hard for him, and despite all his efforts, he couldn't save both," she then felt a heavy weight tugging down in her chest with every word Takasugi said.  
"Hijikata asked to save you no matter what.. and Gintoki was left to choose between the two of you."

She was speechless then furious in a matter of a minute. She can't believe it was all like that. Ichigo may have appeared selfish, but to her, he never thought of himself at all.  
"Is this why he's endlessly fighting all out there on his own. Taking responsibility of the future he created! Is he an idiot?! He didn't have to do any of that! Everything still turned into chaos. He's still suffering! He can't do this to himself he—URGH!"

"Maybe it's still turned out chaotic but perhaps... He preferred having you and Gintoki than having the world he once had." Takasugi said, watching her lash out her frustration. 

"But our father is dying and now I'm.. Useless!" now she's mad at herself. This never should've happened like this. "ANIKI BAKA!!!"

"Then maybe he prefers a useless sister and a dying father than dead corpses as family." Takasugi sighed. "Now that you know, what are you planning to do?"

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"That's Hijikata-san's under shirt for his uniform," She said, making her brother glance her way. 

"I've always worn his clothes," Ichigo shrugged. Indeed, he does and Gintoki found it adorable the first time when the teenager Ichigo found Hijikata's old clothes that Gintoki neatly kept. 

"That one is not from home. It's from Hijikata-san's room. Don't even dare to lie because I've been hanging around there a lot." she could've sworn Ichigo cleaned Hijikata's room which was previously in a mess with all the paperwork and little Ichigo's toys and stuff lying around. 

Hijikata isn't usually messy. Since Ichigo came, everything just seemed out of place. When Ichigo took a glimpse inside, he couldn't fight off the strong sense of nostalgia with all his and Hijikata's stuff inside.  
_Ah, I wish I learned to clean up this room as a kid. Mama always scolded me for that,_ he thought. 

 

"Stop calling him Hijikata, you disrespectful brat. Besides, these clothes still smell like him. I almost forgot how he smelled like," Ichigo replied. His sister couldn't argue with that. She knew why her brother started wearing their mom's clothes. 

"What do you want me to call him then? Mama?" Ichigo have always called him that even through the years. Usually kids switch to something more formal and mature as they grow up, but Ichigo never did. He still referred Hijikata as mama.

"Why not? He's your mom,"

"He doesn't even know I exist," that left some pang in her own chest, and Ichigo didn't miss that faint expression of hurt on her features. 

"Who's fault is that? Let me introduce you to him if you're too shy—"

"Aniki, why do you always make fun about these things?" she whined. It's impossible to win against his brother in these kinds of fights. 

"I don't care. Just stop calling him Hijikata. I was Hijikata too, so it's weird," He justified. He's indeed still the little Ichigo who complains whenever Gintoki calls Hijikata by his last name. Point taken, again, it's Ichigo's win. And they said his sister was the genius one. Unlike popular belief, in the house, Ichigo wins every argument. It's not that his sister is dumber. Brainy is just different from witty. 

As soon as Namaye let her brother win the round, the chatter died at that and it gave them an uncomfortable silence. It's horrible, and neither of the parties found it likeable. 

"Aniki... I'm sorry," 

"I'm accepting that apology if it's for running away and coming here. What the hell did you to to this word? One day, I suddenly realized I had Mama's eyes instead of oyaji's. When I went to the young me's birthday, I confirmed that he had the same eyes too, so something was altered again." That took his sister's attention. So she really is making changes then.  
"Do you realize how dangerous this is now? Even without meaning to do so or even if it's not directly related, you can cause and entire nation to fall by just flicking your booger in the air. See what happened when I tried changing the past? That what we call butterfly effect, lil sis."

"That's exactly why I'm here, Aniki. I'm trying to fix the flaw in the timeline,"

"How many times do I have to tell you? You're not the damn flaw! If that's what Takasugi told you, then this should tell you why you should stop listening to him."

"Aniki, if I actually succeeded, you'll have both our parents alive. Oyaji couldn't save both of us, but he could've saved him instead. I can make sure that he'll survive—."

"Why are you like that? The old man never regretted choosing you! Mama never did! I never did! Why do make it seem like—"

"You're not the one who gets to be called Hijikata-kun whenever I pick his drunken ass in some oden place. You're not the one who gets to see him cry like a messy drunk he is everytime he rants about how sad that 'My Neighbor Pedoro' movie that he watched with Mom. You don't know how conflicted I feel when I first saw you wearing his clothes, or when you and oyaji reacted when you two caught me smoking. When I got here, I realized that it's not just that I looked more like him, but because we smoke the same brand too. You don't know.." she tried her best to hold back her tears, it seemed like it worked. Not a drop escaped, but her pained expression didn't need a tear as proof of her pain.  
"You don't know how it always felt like I've been trying to replace him, but I can never be enough."

Ichigo immediately hugged his sister to comfort her. He had no idea she felt like that all those years. "Who the fuck said you're his replacement? If anything, you're his living proof, idiot." Ichigo sighed as he gently rubbed his sister's back. "That's exactly why I'm keeping you, you hear? You're all I have left. The world can die. I already saw it die before, so I don't care if it end up the same, but I don't have a face to show our parents if I choose to give you up now."

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"Who the fuck took my clothes?" Hijikata asked, demanding an answer from Yamazaki. 

"Uh, I don't know fukucho. Why would Takasugi want to steal your clothes?"

"Don't you think Namaye took it?" Gintoki suggested a possibility, since it's the closest guess they have. Hijikata's speculation that the kidnapper took his clothes to disguise themselves. But seriously, even his day off kimono? He understands the uniforms (yes, a couple of them even the ones in his dirty laundry), but the day off kimono too?? Yup, it must be that Namaye took those as souvenir. Everyone would approve that guess. It goes without saying that the girl has been attached to him, but it's still a bit too much. 

For now, one thing is for sure. Takasugi is in no way responsible for this, but he could have an idea.

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"Sougo," Hijikata called, out of the blue while Sougo was making Ichigo pick up flat stones in a distance. 

"What now Hijikata-san? I told you, I don't know where she is," Sougo drawled as he watched the kid happily picking up stones far enough that the kid can't hear them. 

"You knew who she really is, don't you?" Hijikata asked, earning a glance from Sougo. Of course Hijikata had been suspicious, and Sougo already figured that the vice commander is now aware that Namaye is definitely not his alternate universe counterpart.

"Oh? Congratulations on finally catching up," Sougo said nonchalantly. "I still don't know where she is though,"

"I know. I already have a lead to where she could be," Another interesting stuff. Sougo lifted his brows on that. "And I think I already have a vague picture of what's about to happen."

"Hijikata-san—"

"When I was having Ichigo, you said you'll take care of him and teach him well, right? Can you live up to that?" the words caught Sougo off guard and it suddenly hit him. Whatever Hijikata is implying, he doesn't like it. 

"What the hell is that?" Sougo's face turned grim. "Don't tell me you're abandoning Ichigo. I knew you're a piece of shit, but I didn't think you'd go even below that,"

"I said I think I have a vague idea of what's about to happen," Hijikata remained calm, it unnerved Sougo. "I think you've been informed as well. When it comes to it, please take care of everything, fukucho," Hijikata smirked, and it pissed the hell out of Sougo. 

He was about to lash out at Hijikata, but the mayora then called out Ichigo and the kid happily went to him. Hijikata briefly played with the kid in piling up the stones before he gave the kid a long melancholic stare and a sad smile. It made the sadist's chest tight. He's never felt so useless since those nights at his sister's deathbed. Staring at the scene before him, he cursed underneath his breath. He can't do this. Something needs to be done here. 

 

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The ship was finally onshore, and it wasn't very surprising to Namaye that the crew were actually from Takasugi. She figured that he went to him as well. The island looked deserted with an old building that seemed like a factory of some sort and it's mainly surrounded by a dry forest. Some men from the crew started drenching the place with.. _wait, is that—_ Namaye couldn't understand her brother's idea of solution to all of this. Is he trying to burn the place down? He did say he's taking her home, but aside from that, Ichigo said nothing about how he's planning to resolve the conflict. 

"If you hate my idea so much, I'm assuming that you have a better plan in mind," she said. 

"Oh sure I do. First, finish the business here and go home,"

"What business—" she didn't get to finish the question once she saw what's waiting in the shadows of the island. These creatures looked awfully familiar, though not exactly, but still familiar. 

 

"Maaah they're persistent. I thought I took care of at least most of them," Ichigo sighed and drew his sword. 

"Aniki?!" she glanced at her brother with an accusing tone, demanding for an explanation. "Don't tell me you tagged them along here with you?!"

"Like hell I did. These are phase 1 of the plague parasites, little sis. They already exist at this point, so I did a little cleaning up before as well." Ichigo said, stepping out to the enemy. "Don't let it get in contact with your skin or anything. One wrong move and everything will end up a lot worse for us in the future." Ichigo is right, and she did not need any further explanation from her brother to understand that the plague can end up being a lot stronger and even they themselves will be vulnerable to it. The vaccines she created will be all for nought as well. 

Ichigo made his battle stance and as soon as the nearest one charged, the battle began. It wasn't exactly an easy win when they tend to just slowly regenerate on their own. To make sure they won't be going in circles, Ichigo took the lighter that he got from his sister's stuff. And set the forest on fire. 

"Okay, so this is what that was for?" she raised a brow at her brother. 

"Yup,"

"Well good, now give the lighter back to me," She demanded with her palm open. 

"This is not yours,"

"I know. I just borrowed it from him," she glared, "I should give it back to him,"

"Well, that can wait," Ichigo said as he continued to charge into the rotten lumps of flesh. "Don't get inside the forest! Just throw them into the fire!" Ichigo yelled out before just charging inside the forest. 

"Well wow. Talk about great leadership," she grumbled and tied her hair up like how Hijikata does it. Not a strand should escape. 

 

They never realized that they've been there for hours, endlessly trying to put an end to the undying rotten lumps of flesh. Namaye's movements started to slow down and she's getting tired. She's never the one with great stamina to begin with, though she has exceptional fighting skills. Even with more sloppy movements, she tried her best not to get in contact with the filthy things. 

It's been hard to do that even with 100% stamina, and she had to keep up while catching her breath. Now this is why she always preferred to finish her fights quickly. Ichigo never had problems about that. The idiot has been exposed to the battle field for quite sometime now, and he's programmed his body to be always in a battle mode. She, however, is a different story. For the padt few years, she's been cloistered and only does practice in yhe dojo with Hijikata. 

The next minutes, she wasn't as lucky anymore. She got her foot badly injured and she immediately rolled away to avoid direct contact with the parasite infested cadaver. She suddenly got cautious of her blood that dripped all over the ground. She tried getting up but her injured foot is taking a great toll on her speed and agility to maneuver herself in the fight. 

She refused to go down here. She still has something to do. Ignoring the screaming pain of her injury, she tackled the monster and tossed it in flames. Almost the entire island is in flames now, and it's not really an achievement when she never saw her brother again since he went inside the forest fire. 

Despite her efforts to ignore the pain and keep her head straight into the fight, she can't avoid the inevitable handicap. Her hand suddenly disappeared. 

 

Her sword was dropped on the ground and her entire arm soon dissolved as well. It caught her entirely off guard, and the distraction and panic weakened her defense. It then caused her another heavy injury and was about to receive another fatal final blow. Crap. 

"DO YOU GET IT NOW WHY I TOLD YOU YOU'RE NEVER ALLOWED IN THE WARZONE??"

Ichigo yelled out as he burned the piece of unidentifiable meat that was about to finish his little sister. Ichigo's eyes grew wide as he saw his sister's dissolving arm that is slowly materializing back into a tangible matter again. It alarmed him to see it with his own eyes. Whatever that's happening, it's already causing a major shift in everything. What did he do wrong?!

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE, BAKA ANIKI!" Ichigo finally snapped out of his thoughts and realized that his back was completely open, and it was an opportunity for the cadaver parasites to land a direct hit on him. His sister wouldn't let that happen so even with great difficulty, she collected her agile movements to try and block the attack even with evident sloppiness.

It wasn't enough. They were still going to get Ichigo... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

..If Hijikata didn't do what was needed to be done and finished off the thing. 

 

Both of them remained frozen, especially Namaye who saw everything. Ichigo had his back facing Hijikata so he didn't know it was him who saved his life. He was still under the impression that he's certainly gonna get himself killed right there, but thankfully, it wasn't the case. He was about to look behind his back when his sister pulled his head down to avoid exposing his face. Hijikata can't know. Wait... Why is he here? 

"Wha—" Ichigo was about to complain but then his sister spoke and he immediately silenced himself. 

"Hijikata-san... What are you doing here?"

 

Hijikata took a drag of the cigarette before disposing it on the ground and crushed it underneath his foot. 

"Not in my wildest dreams did I ever imagined that I'll be cooperating with Takasugi Shinsuke just to locate you," Hijikata replied, and Namaye knew that she's doomed. 

"Wha—"

"He said someone hijacked his ship along with his men in the same day you were abducted. Apparently, he didn't know about your whereabouts until we finally tracked down the ship. I think he already has an idea who abducted you though," Hijikata said, eyeing Ichigo who still has his back faced to him. 

Ichigo was frozen still and his sister tightened her grip on his natural raven perm. 

"I will explain everything later, Hijikata-san. But for now— we.. We have a mess to take care of. I know I caused you so much trouble, and I'm very sorry—"

"Don't apologize. Get yourself treated," Hijikata stepped closer to check on her injury. 

"But—"

 

"Don't look so scandalized. It's been taken care of," Takasugi then came and removed his straw hat. He then placed it on Ichigo's head before dragging the perm up. "As agreed Hijikata, I'm cooperating with you so I'm taking care of this guy over here."

Even Ichigo didn't expect that. Namaye was at loss of words, being fully out of control of the situation. 

"About her though," Takasugi said. "I think four years is enough," that earned a death glare from Hijikata and what else do you expect? Of course it smells like it will trigger another fight within a fight. They're not even finished dealing with the parasite infested cadavers. 

Ichigo was about to fight off Takasugi to defend Hijikata, but he couldn't do anything but attempt to stand when Takasugi placed him firmly on the ground with his hand on his shoulder and whispered, "Stay out of this, or else you and your sister are done."

Ichigo can only grit his teeth in frustration. He's pissed off with this. Nothing is going according to his plan with this. 

"Shin—" now it's Namaye who dared to simmer it down, but of course, she didn't do any better than her brother. Not when Takasugi already gave a look that spoke volumes. They're both being held on the neck and they can't lose the only asset they have to get everything work. 

"I'm not handing over her custody. Well, looks like deal is off," Hijikata said. 

"It's been long off," they don't have to speak further as they began to speak with their blades. Hijikata was keeping up at first, but the siblings knew he's at a disadvantage. They also noticed Hijikata's movements beginning to get sloppy. They can't help but get worried. The fight began to get more intense and while the two are distracted, Ichigo is trying to get his sister into safety, thus taking care of the parasite infested cadavers. An explosion from the middle of the island was heard, and Ichigo was sure that it was from the laboratory. He was about to get on with his plan and escape with Namaye, but he can't just leave Hijikata with Takasugi. Especially when his sister started to fade out into nothingness again. This can only mean one thing. He hesitated for a moment there, but he finally made up his mind. He can't afford anything more drastic. This isn't turning out to be anything better. He put his sister somewhere she should be fine for at least the time being then hurriedly went over to the fight Hijikata is losing. 

"TAKASUGI!"

Takasugi didn't bother to give him a glance as he was about to strike. Good thing there was another explosion, and this time, it's from a cannon to their direction. It missed on purpose, and was only meant to startle them. They all looked up and spotted a warship in the air where a certain man jumped down from. 

He landed roughly somewhere just around where the cannon was fired earlier, and as the dust settles, it revealed the man Takasugi expected. It made him smirk. 

"Why did you shake hands with the devil and acted like a knight in a shinning armor if you feel like shit?" Gintoki glared at Hijikata. The latter mirrored the glare and spat back as soon as he saw a couple of Katsura's faction charging into the fight with the rotten bundles of flesh. 

 

"What the hell are you doing here?! Who's left with Ichigo?!" He's well aware that Shinsengumi can't be dragged into this as well. He came here for personal reasons, and dragging Shinsengumi in would expose just how he cooperated to Takasugi just to find Namaye and—  
"Wait— how did you know—"

"You seriously want me to rub it against your face how you started keeping things to yourself **again** and I had to hear everything from Okita-kun of all people! He even said you gave him full custody of the kid like hello, are kidding me?! You're planning of dying before our wedding day you jerk!"

"I'm not planning—!"

"Then what do you call this suicide mission, genius? I thought we agreed about letting me know whatever the fuck you have in your damn mind! But what? It was still Okita-kun who you're sharing little secrets with!"

"That's what you're angry about?! I didn't say anything about this to Sougo! What are you so worked up for?"

"I've got a lot to be angry about! I have every right to be angry when you just considered turning me into a widower even before we get married!"

"Shut up! It's—" Hijikata was not able to finish his rebuttal when a herd of rotten flesh came charging at their direction. It's not exactly what stopped Hijikata from talking. What put an end to the argument was the moment he met Ichigo's eyes as the raven perm head helped them extinguish the unthinking beings that was about to attack Gintoki. Ichigo secretly thanked Takasugi for the straw hat. That must've stopped Hijikata and Gintoki's argument, but it started another. 

 

"Baka Oyaji! Don't let the parasites get in contact with your skin!" the raven perm head yelled at Gintoki. 

"Oi! Who are you calling baka? More importantly, do I look like an old man to you?! Why are you calling me Oyaji you punk!" as expected, Gintoki barked back. 

"Uh—well yeah!" Ichigo then realized his mistake and inwardly berated himself. "Just look at your hair, O-san!" 

"It's always been like this! Call me o-san again and I'll beat you up!" To Gintoki's surprise, the young man had the audacity to laugh so brightly at that. "Wow, you have a weird sense of humor."

"Thanks, I needed that." the young perm said as he put his focus back to the fight. 

"You mean a good spank? Like hell yes, you do!"

As much as Ichigo wanted to chatter more to Gintoki, they're in a middle of a fight here. Takasugi took the distraction as an opportunity to go over Namaye and just when he was about to get her, a random parasite infested cadaver got on the way. He almost punched the thing when Namaye stopped him. 

"Don't let it get in contact with you!" with that, Takasugi flipped the thing off and sliced it in half. He let his gaze linger on it and observed how it is slowly patching itself together again. 

"So this is the thing you've been talking about?" Takasugi asked. 

"It will turn into something a lot worse if you let it get in contact with you," she replied. 

Takasugi hummed at that then observed the chaos as the forest fire is slowly eating up the entire island. "You better have a plan B. Your brother is now here."

"Apparently, his plan would be the plan B. We eliminate the problem here," she replied. 

"This might be a part of the research, but you're both not even close to the source yet. Your brother knows that. This isn't the real thing yet,"

"What? How—"

"Leave her alone, midget!" Ichigo came storming to them.

"Oh great," Namaye groaned, and Takasugi didn't miss the glimpse of her arm dissolving into nothingness.

"Instead of trying to keep me away from your sister, why not go back to backing up Hijikata? Thank me for the hat later. Gintoki wasn't kidding when he mentioned he's feeling like shit," Takasugi said, and that got some senses back to Ichigo. The raven perm cursed underneath his breath and begrudgingly went back to cover Hijikata. 

"Wow, you suddenly cared for him?" Namaye scoffed. 

"If he'll die here, everything will be ruined. I'm sure you get that,"

 

Ichigo didn't get there on time when Hijikata got a direct hit on his left shoulder, but that didn't stop the demonic vice commander from his unrelenting counterattack. However, after he made the sloppy swing of his sword, his vision started to swim and he lost his footing. He staggered a bit and was about to get critically hit on his chest. He did will himself to move, but his vision blacked out before he could. Good thing Ichigo managed to deflect the attack and caught him before he hit the ground.  
The raven perm checked on him, and it appeared that he suddenly lost consciousness. Ichigo was overwhelmed with worry. 

"HIJIKATA!" Gintoki yelled from a distance and he was trying to get to them, but he then decided against it deciding to keep the monstrous thing occupied while Namaye got to check on Hijikata. 

 

"Mam— Mayora-san!" Ichigo bit his lip, and hurriedly corrected himself. 

"Hijikata-san!" Namaye hurriedly checked on him if he got infected. It must be his shoulder injury, so she checked on that. The wound was deep, and there's no way to tell if a parasite manifested his wound right now, so she hurriedly checked his pulse instead as an alternative to check any symptoms. When she did check the pulse however, she pulled a frightened look on her face. Ichigo didn't have to ask to tell that she found a clear indication why Hijikata suddenly lost consciousness. But what is it? Is Hijikata dying earlier than he's supposed to—

"What's going on oi!" Ichigo wouldn't let that happen. Namaye seemed petrified and frozen on her spot, so Ichigo also checked Hijikata's pulse in panic, afraid that they lost him just like that. He was relieved when he found a strong pulse from Hijikata. He let out a lungful breath of relief.  
"What's wrong with you?! Don't give me that look! I thought we lost him— fuck," He groaned. 

His sister wasn't in anyway relieved though. She still wore that frightened look on her face, so Ichigo was not even able to be relieved that much. 

 

"Aniki..," 

 

 

Damn it. 

What now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now down to the last remaining chapter. I hope I can wrap everything up in that. If it goes too long, I'll have to cut it into two. Wondering what's happening? Let's see what you have in mind with this. Thank you so much for sticking with this story! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!  
> Update will be up next week or sooner, promise!


	30. Best Solutions can be the Worst Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we reach the end and people have to say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh.. I know I promised... and I know it's three weeks late.. , but Please don't kill me.   
> This has been up for three days now and I was just waiting for the one who volunteered to beta it (u know about my errors) but I still didn't receive a response so yeah. I decided to post it and just update the betaed version once they respond.

Hijikata still didn't regain consciousness when they were on their way back. Namaye kept on checking on him, and apparently, he lost too much blood already.

Ichigo left with Takasugi's ship as soon as they annihilated the entire island. Namaye bit her lip, for the time being, Hijikata is not yet stable. First aid is obviously not enough. She just did what she can in the mean time to prolong Hijikata's survival until they get proper equipment and tend his condition. 

Hijikata regained consciousness as he was being rushed to the emergency room and a couple of Shinsengumi personnel accompanied them, including Sougo. 

 

"Sougo, where's Ichigo?" Hijikata asked, colors running out of his face. Sougo held his head down, not meeting his gaze with a gritted teeth. "Can I see—"

"I'm not letting Ju-yon see a bloody mommy." Sougo finally replied. 

"Sougo!" Kondo tried to pry him off, also hoping for him to stop. 

"If you want to see your kid, push your damn luck and survive." With those concluding words, he left the dying Hijikata in the hands of the paramedics. Kondo immediately went after him and grabbed his shoulder, totally against of his previous actions. 

"Sougo, I think we should let him see Ichigo-kun." Kondo suggested in a pained, yet serious note. 

"For what, Kondo-san? So he could go off in peace after seeing the child he chose to abandon?" Sougo glared daggers, emphasizing that his decision cannot be swayed. "The last thing that I want is for him is to die in peace."

 

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After the long painful hours of waiting, the door finally opened and the doctor came out. Everyone stood up and Gintoki immediately went to him and asked how Hijikata was. 

 

"He broke his shoulder blades and he lost too much blood. We have found another major concern as well, but I think we need to run a few more tests for that. For now, the patient is stable."

"Wait, when he fainted, but was because of bloodloss?" Gintoki gave a face of disbelief. 

"That's a possibility, but we'll have to do further examinations for that."

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Hijikata woke up seeing a white ceiling and a perm mop on the side of his bed. It almost felt like a dejavu. How many times does this have to happen? He slowly lifted his hand and gently stroked Gintoki's natural perm. Gintoki immediately flinched awake because of that. With concern and a bit of panic in his features, he then asked, 

"How are you feelling? Does it hurt somewhere?"

"Nah, I feel all numb actually," Hijikata replied.

"I'm getting the doctor. Gorilla and Sofa-kun will watch you in a bit, okay? I'll be back in a blink," Gintoki said, the he went out of the room. As soon as he went out, Sougo and Kondo then went inside the room without using any courtesy of politeness. 

"Ah, so you're really alive, Hijikata-san,"

"I lived. Can I see my son now?" Hijikata asked in a raspy voice. 

Sougo gave him a blank look, yet he went out of the room and the moment he's back, he's already carrying Ichigo in his arms. Hijikata was suddenly alarmed upon seeing Ichigo's swollen eyes. He obviously cried a lot. Knowing that his child almost never cried at all, the sight before him worried Hijikata a lot, so he attempted to hurriedly get up, yet he flinched in pain and collapsed helplessly back on the bed. 

"You shouldn't get up just yet, Toshi!" Kondo helped him position himself back on the bed. "Don't worry about Ichigo-kun. He's just really... Sad that he can't see you around."

"He never did before." Hijikata said, looking at Ichigo who is trying to reach out for him with his little grabby hands. 

"Maybe because poor Ju-yon felt that he was abandoned." Sougo suggested, effectively making Hijikata guiltier than he already is. Sougo have seen enough of Hijikata's pained expression and Ichigo's hands trying to reach out for Hijikata, so he carefully placed the child right next to Hijikata. 

"The next time you entrust him to me, I won't give him back ever again."

"There's no need for that," Hijikata replied, caressing his son's raven perm, knowing that it calms Ichigo. "I don't plan on entrusting you anything or anyone anytime soon." 

That's all that Sougo needed to hear before he left the hospital. 

 

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"So, how is he, sensei?"

"He's stable now. His shoulders should heal slowly. Good thing the major injuries are nowhere near his organs. Thanks to that, the baby is safe."

"Wait... Uh, I'm not sure I follow. What do you mean baby?" Gintoki asked. 

"I mean like that baby," the doctor gestured Ichigo who is peacefully sleeping next to Hijikata. 

"Eh?"

"HUH??!"

"Congratulations, Hijikata-san. You're a few weeks pregnant. Please refrain from doing anything dangerous like that again through out your pregnancy. By the way, have you been smoking?"

"I—"

"What the— yeah he's been smoking! He fucking bought a new pack the other day!" Gintoki can't believe this. 

"Please do stop. You are a very sensitive case and another wrong move will surely lead to miscarriage. I will have to take my leave for now." the doctor said and excused himself. 

"Wait, did you just seriously go out on a rescue mission without telling me, get yourself drastically wounded like that, and smoke while carrying my child?! Are you kidding me?!"

"I didn't know— wait. You! Did you just implanted your goddamned sperm in me?!"

"That's basically how procreation works, Hijikata-kun. It's not how it worked with Ichigo, but it is now when your body was already designed to conceive a baby."

"Wait— what??! How can that happen when I haven't even puked anything out like I did with Ichigo! A few weeks? How come I've never noticed?"

"You can't expect our second child to have the same picky food preference, you know."

 

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Sougo received an email from Kondo about the good news about the new baby, and he's not very surprised of course. He couldn't do anything much at this point. For now, he needs details and information. He can't just watch in the sidelines and let shit hit the fan. He won't let Hijikata have it his way. He walked a couple of blocks away from the hospital until he reached the park where he saw Namaye sitting alone on a bench. Sougo then went and sat beside her then he began eating his Shinsengumi sausage. 

"You know, people say congratulations to people who are having a baby. Go ahead and say your condolences because that baby is you," Sougo began to talk. 

"Aniki is here," she said, making Sougo pause on his food for a while to put things together. It clicked immediately in his head, so he resumed eating. "That I guess that explains Hijikata-san's clothes being gone."

"He's with Shin-chan right now. I'm not sure what they're up to, but I'm guessing they're looking for the main perpetrator of the entire parasite incident. That's the only thing I can think of for his next move to be." She said, not giving off any emotion. "The island was completely abandoned. The laboratory was already ransacked, and I can only guess that Aniki already tried salvaging what he can make use of the stuff he got there."

"If that's his plan, then yours is?"

"I'm not telling you," Namaye eyed him coldly, "I can't even show my face there now. What am I gonna tell them? About aniki? Shin-chan? Of what were we doing there and those things? I'm not sure if I wanna answer those things, Okita-san."

"Just go. See how he's doing. He's looking for you."

"I can't," she insisted. 

"It's not my request. It's bad to refuse pregnant people," Sougo said. 

.  
.  
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.  
.

Hijikata was not looking perfectly healthy when she got there. He was still pale, and it worried her. She wanted to check on him, but she's ashamed if can just do all that. She began searching for words, not knowing where to start, until Hijikata beat her to it. 

 

"Where is your brother?"

"He—," she stopped herself, realizing something. "Hijikata-san..."

"You can drop it. I know he's Ichigo," that was more than he should know. The poor girl stood there frozen. "He was wearing my clothes, some of the ones that went missing along with you. Ichigo... he always liked wearing my stuff even if they're still too big for him. It fits him perfectly now. At least I got to see that,"

"Stop. This is—,"

 

"I know who you really are, so just tell me your real name properly." Hijikata said, and words were suddenly all drain in her throat. Not a letter wanted to croak out. She did try though. Hijikata's gaze held her eyes, and she stood there petrified and rooted on the floor. She turned into a stammering mess and said finally willed herself to speak. 

 

"It's— I... It's Mayu.. Sakata Mayu (真優)," she couldn't meet his eyes, she just couldn't, until suddenly, for the first time in her life, Hijikata called her with her real name. 

"Mayu... It's a good name," Hijikata smiled, and it strung a warm sensation in her chest. "The natural perm sure did choose a good one. I'll leave the naming to him alright. It means genuine excellence. I don't even have to ask him why he named you that. You turned out just how he envisioned you to be."

With those words, she couldn't help but cry. She didn't even consider holding it in like she usually does. She can't hide anything now. 

"Why are you crying?" Hijikata chuckled at the sight, seeing her sober while letting everything go. How old was she again? Hijikata can only see a poor child trapped in a grown woman's body when she clung onto him while sobbing.   
"Come on, the stupid perm will think I suddenly died. I'm very suspicious he considered naming you Mayonnaise though. He did mention that once, come to think of it. It awfully sounds the same." she still didn't stop crying, so he gently caressed her hair as he continued to talk. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't know I'm already having you, so I thought I'm still good to smoke. I thought it would be the same way as how we got Ichigo. Another parasite amanto bite and yeah. I never realized." _wait, he knew?? Since when?_

"Since... since when?"

"When you accidentally told me your real name while having one of your episodes. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this,"

"No—! It's not your fault, I—"

"I'm sorry if I still won't be able to make it through after everything you had to sacrifice, but I'd still do the same thing and choose to have you."

"Why are you talking like this??" she whined. "It's like you're saying goodbye! I don't wanna hear it!"

"I'm already glad to see that you and Ichigo turned out really well. That's all a parent could ever ask for."

Outside the room, Gintoki was indeed just listening behind the closed door just as Hijikata suspected. His face was void of any expression and slowly, he closed his eyes.

 

.  
.  
.  
.

 

"Stop looking like a serious main character deciphering who's the culprit. It doesn't suit you," Hijikata said. He had enough seeing Gintoki peel the damn fruit like he's sculpting on it. 

"I _am_ a very serious main character," Gintoki responded. "A main character, who actually tops character ranking pols and doesn't get outshined by side characters in popular opinion, because I'm doing my job very seriously. I earn people's favor."

"Yeah right, " Hijikata rolled his eyes. 

It was suddenly silent again. Hijikata left him alone with his thoughts while peeling the fruit. Finally, Gintoki decided to speak.   
"It's scary, you know," Gintoki suddenly said. "How am I supposed to do that? How did the future me take that? Raising the two kids alone... without you.. I don't want that,"

Hijikata glanced at him. He knew it. He knew Gintoki has been thinking. He understands. He really does, and he's sorry he can't do anything about it. He sighed and gestured for the perm to sit on the bed with him, so Gintoki did. Gintoki was surprised when Hijikata placed his head against Hijikata's chest and both of them leaned against the headrest. Hijikata was caressing the back of Gintoki's head with light touches, and the perm head purred in satisfaction. It was soothing at least, though it did not erase the dread in his chest entirely.

"You did a really great job already. Did you see those kids? You raised them yourself. Your future self sounds really great from Mayu's stories."

Gintoki visibly stilled. Hijikata knew he stepped on a landmine. "I still wouldn't wanna take that route if I can, Hijikata."

"We're not sacrificing Mayu, Gintoki," Hijikata furrowed his brows. 

"I'm not saying we'll sacrifice her," Gintoki said with finality. "I'm saying I can't sacrifice any of you."

"You have to choose at some point," Hijikata sighed. He didn't want Gintoki to, and he knows it's so much burden for the natural perm, but when it comes down to it, he'd still want Gintoki to choose their kid.

"Remember that time when we opened the Shinsengumi gate together?" Gintoki asked, earning a glance from Hijikata who's wondering what caused him to talk about that. "That time, I told you.. I had to choose as well. I wanted to save both...and I ended up losing both. That time, I told you, you don't have to choose, because you can still save both. I was right, wasn't I? You saved the Shinsengumi and Kondo-san. Me too.. I want to believe that at this point, I can still save both. I'm not letting go of any of you, Hijikata."

.  
.  
.  
.

 

Hijikata was discharged in a few days, but every month he had to be confined in the hospital for at least a few days to regulate his body which started to go through changes again with the pregnancy. It's not even Mayu'd idea. It's Gintoki's. He's not taking any chances that may lead to miscarriage. He heard about the fact that Mayu was supposed to come out as stillborn if Ichigo did not interfere with the future. Gintoki was giving it a better preparation this time he needs to make sure Hijikata and the baby will be okay every step of the way, so that _hopefully_ , they wouldn't have to face any complications in the near future. 

 

"Do you want more mayo, Mayu?" Gintoki asked. 

"Eh?" she was caught off guard with the sudden question. They're having lunch in the hospital and Gintoki brought enough food for five people (Gintoki, Mayu, Ichigo, Hijikata, and the unborn Mayu). "I have my own mayo,"

"I'm asking the little you here. Ichigo was a picky eater, so I'm just checking," Gintoki said. 

"That's awkward. Don't talk to the unborn me with me in the room." Mayu gave him a straight face.

"What's the point if you're not in the room? Your unborn self still can't hear me anyway, so you, who can actually hear it now, listen." Gintoki justified. 

"I—" Mayu was at a loss for words at first, "It's better if the mayonnaise intake is also regulated. Too much calories is not good for Hijikata-san."

"Mama! Mama! Look! I got a strawberry milk!" Little Ichigo came running into the room with a bubbly face. 

"Oh? Where did you get that? Did they refill the vending machine? I checked earlier. I told you they ran out of those." Gintoki eyed the kid suspiciously.

"I didn't demand Jimmy-san to get me one!"

"Then where did you get that?" 

"Kurosaki-nii chan," Ichigo shrugged. Gintoki's features visibly changed, and Hijikata didn't miss the shift. 

"Why? Who's that?" Hijikata asked as Gintoki helped Ichigo insert the straw in his strawberry milk. 

"If I'm not mistaken, her brother." Gintoki answered, and he stood up. 

"Wait—" Mayu was about to head outside to see whether it really was Ichigo, but Gintoki stopped him. 

"No, you're staying here." Gintoki said and took little Ichigo's hand. "Ichigo, tell me where you found this nii-chan. Let's ask for another strawberry milk for dada,"

"Yup!"

As soon as the two were out, Mayu was left with no other choice but to comply and sit.

"You kids' secret has been out already. You know that Sougo told me everything by now. Gintoki just wanna talk to him."

"Hijikata-san.."

"Why are you still calling me Hijikata-san?" Hijikata asked. "What does Ichigo call me?"

"He still calls you mama,"

"He didn't grow out of it?" Hijikata eyed her in confusion. "He's a grown man now, isn't he?"

"He is, but when it comes to you, he never got over it," she answered. 

Hijikata nodded slowly then asked, "How do you refer me as then?"

"Uh, I call you mom whenever we talk about you— but I'm not sure if you want me to call you like that—"

"A grown man has been calling me mama, and you're conscious about calling me mom?"

They stared at each other for quite a feat of seconds before Mayu smiled and said, "Got it, 'ka-san" (oka-san = mom) 

Gintoki and little Ichigo returned without another strawberry milk. It was evident that they didn't get a hold of Ichigo. The rest of the day went on as usual, but Mayu felt a lot lighter. 

 

.  
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It was raining heavily outside the hospital and Hijikata was alone in the hospital room. Visiting hours was over and he was left alone to rest. He's guessing Gintoki should be just nearby, insisting that he can't leave him alone like that. Not long after the peaceful silence, he surrendered to slumber. 

Someone was inside the room. That, Hijikata was sure of when he regained his consciousness. Hijikata took a short peek at who it could be and found a male nurse with a facemask. His back was at him, busy with something on the side table. He's awake, but chose to act like he's not. The person just stood there. His presence was too eminent to Hijikata that he's so certain that he's just there burning holes staring at Hijikata. 

It took a while before he decided to go and leave. Hijikata didn't let him though. He then grabbed the edge of his nurse uniform and said, "If you wanna visit, you can just come straight right in. What else do you have to hide?"

The man sighed and the side of Hijikata's bed sunk. Hijijata opened his eyes and met the man's sad eyes.

"A bunch of stuff I'm not proud of," Ichigo replied. "Oyaji once said I got that trait from you.. Hiding things that shouldn't be left unsaid, to his opinion." Hijikata hummed. Typical Gintoki blaming him for something like that. 

"Remove the damn face mask. I never got to really see you properly," Hijikata demanded, which Ichigo complied. "You look just like him alright,"

"Aww, it would've been nice to look just like you mama,"

"Your father would be offended hearing that," Hijikata chuckled. His mirth died down once Ichigo leaned down to hug him. He placed his head on Hijikata's shoulder, and Hijikata was suddenly worried. "Oi,"

"I'm sorry," Ichigo said with a cracking voice, "I couldn't save you. Even if I wouldn't be able to save you both this time, I wouldn't stop. I'll keep on going through this loop until I find a solution and turn things around."

Hijikata sighed and gently caressed Ichigo's raven perm hair just like how he does it to little Ichigo whenever he's upset. It always gave a soothing effect on the kid, and apparently, it still has the same effect on the grown up Ichigo. 

"And Gintoki said you got it from me, when it's him who takes full responsibility and burden all to himself. It's not your fault.. it's no one's fault. It's not even your responsibility, but you're taking all the blame and fixing it all by yourself," Hijikata said. 

"You don't know that,"

"Yeah I do. I knew you've done a great job too. You grew up so fine." Hijikata felt Ichigo's hold tightened on his words. 

"Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?"

"You kids say the same thing," Hijikata chuckled, but Ichigo didn't want to take any humor in it. 

"You can't just— you can't just give up!"

"I wouldn't want not seeing you kids grow too. I hate the fact that you had to go through all this because I wasn't able to make it..." Hijikata sighed. "But if it comes to it, and there has to be one to go, you did a great job choosing your sister. You did well and stayed strong."

"I'm doing everything I can so that it wouldn't end up like that again. Please don't even think about giving up, because I wouldn't even after this lifetime." Ichigo met his eyes. Hijikata didn't need words to confirm how dead serious he is about it. 

"So stubborn. You're our Ichigo alright," Hijikata said with fondness evident in his features. Ichigo took pride on that. He really did. 

 

.  
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.

Hijikata then moved in again with Gintoki in no time. They took Mayu with them as well and the house that was once empty without Kagura and Sadaharu was once again filled with lively noises of them idly bickering, Ichigo playing, Mayu reading her jump that Gintoki regularly gets, and Shinpachi coming over everyday. 

 

Time flew, and Hijikata was on his third trimester when it happened. Everyone was sound asleep in the yorozuya household when Hijikata was experiencing an intense pain. They didn't waste any time and took the vice commander to the hospital with the patrol car that they have parked outside for emergency purposes.

.  
.  
.

They're left waiting in the hospital's waiting area. Gintoki has little Ichigo on his lap and Mayu wrapped in his other arm, afraid that at some point, she will start to disappear again. The fact that she's not showing any signs of that is Gintoki's last grasp of his composure. He can't be weak right now. He has the kids relying on him for their strength as well. 

....

 

"Sougo, aren't you getting inside?" Kondo said as they made their way inside the hospital. 

 

"I have to drop by somewhere first. Just getting something for Ju-yon." Sougo said, and Kondo just smiled and told him to hurry. 

He made his way into the darkness in the parking lot and there, a man was leaning against a car. He immediately recognized that it's the guy. 

"There's no sense in hiding at this point. You and your sister are completely busted to your parents," Sougo said. 

"It doesn't mean that I should stop looking for an alternative in the situation," Ichigo replied. "You wanna help me out a bit, Boss?" It made Sougo smirk. So this is what Mayu was talking about? He'll make sure little Ichigo will still walk with his guidance then. 

"Sounds good to me. I hope you disappearing for months has some eventful outcome."

"The alpha amanto parasite is here," Ichigo replied. "It changes its host from time to time. He couldn't find a body that wouldn't immediately rot once he infested it." 

"Is that why..."

"My mom withstood the parasite for years. He's the most suitable candidate for a compatible host. That's why... everything turned out the way it was in our future. His body was nowhere to be found after it was sent to the morgue."

"We need to keep an eye on Hijikata-san at all times even in toilet times then." Sougo understood without further elaborations. "Is that what you need me for?"

"Yeah... another is that.. I'm not sure, but we have to start now. If my sister is showing signs that—" Sougo stopped talking when he received a call from Kondo. It should be an emergency, so he immediately answered it. He wasn't wrong. 

**"Sougo! Mayu-chan is with me right now and she doesn't want Gin-san to find out that—"**

**"Okita-san, listen to me,"** it was Mayu. She obviously stole the phone from the panicking Kondo. **"I'm like a glitching mess right now. I may completely vanish any moment, so if you can contact my brother please—"**

"Onii-chan is here," Ichigo took the phone from Sougo. These siblings has some nasty habit of stealing phones from people. "You have one job, dear sis. Keep your existence and keep my sanity for me please. I'll be there in a bit."

"We don't have time," Sougo said and they both hurriedly went inside. 

"Boss, this is the plan," Ichigo said, handing over the camera to Sougo. "We'll make the alpha parasite infest me, I should be able to withstand it for an amount of time. The moment it does, use that. Capture my best angles." Sougo eyed him in confusion, though he accepted the camera without further questions about the thing. 

"We don't have time. Think! Who is the alpha host right now?"

"It could be anyone!" Ichigo replied. "It could be you for all I know,"

"Rest assured, I'm too intelligent to let a dumb parasite infect me." Sougo scoffed. "If Hijikata will still end up dead anyway, all we'll have to do is cremate him as soon as possible before his body gets stolen. Now where is his damn body? Boss should still be there waiting—"

"Wait," Ichigo stopped, and so did Sougo, patiently waiting for him to finish thinking it over. 

Ichigo was hit with a sudden realization. Someone who knows Hijikata's health records, condition, and even the one who they trusted when he was born. It all suddenly made sense. He pulled out the bottle containing the parasite that was in his sister's laboratory. 

"He was not supposed to die. Instead of simply removing this damn parasite after I was born, that guy implanted an egg—! Shit! Why didn't I see this one coming?!" Ichigo suddenly rushed to the operating room. Outside, Gintoki and the others are waiting. He didn't even bother disguising himself anymore. His younger present self even recognized him. 

"Ah! Kurusaki Nii-chan!" the little Ichigo pointed at him, making Gintoki face him and stand up. 

Ichigo's mindset faltered a bit at that. He almost stopped until Sougo dragged him forward and began to charge inside the door. 

"OKITA-SAN??" Shinpachi stood up, trying to stop him, or at least hear an explanation for this. 

"Okita-taicho what are you doing?!"

"The operation is still—"

The voices were too late to stop the sadist from tearing the locked door down. It revealed a room where Hijikata is completely unconscious and was about to be transferred into the other open door leading to the opposite wing. They knew it. 

"THIS IS THE SHINSENGUMI! Arrest everyone in this room! Those who resist, kill them." Sougo's eyes held no room for hesitations. 

His men were a bit confused at first, but the first division captain's order was absolute, and objections and questions have no room to squeeze in. Everyone then followed the order and the surgeons that looked frantic at first started to shed their masks, revealing rotting flesh. 

Gintoki didn't waste time either. Seeing the situation before him, he understood. He immediately took Ichigo protectively in his arms and handed him over to Shinpachi.

"Take him to an ice cream parlor, Patsuan." Gintoki instructed with all seriousness in his eyes, that Shinpachi didn't have the chance to object as well. "I'll get Toshirou, you go and find Mayu so that you can take her with you guys."

"Gin-san, I can't get inside the women's—"

"Her shit break is taking too long. Go get her a toilet paper. You don't know how it feels getting stuck in the toilet because there's no toilet paper!" Gintoki said, as he went to chase the one who was pushing Hijikata's bed out of the room. 

Gintoki was blocked by one of the rotting beings, and Ichigo took it down for him before it can completely hold him off. Gintoki took a note of the young man's movements, and he suddenly felt that warmth that he can call "being proud" in a very wrong timing. 

"I know I'm that gorgeous Oyaji, but get your damn self together! They're taking him away!"

"Oi! Watch your language you punk! I was only thinking how lucky you are that you got your looks from your stunning dad!"

"Who's stunning? You're the one who was obviously stunned by _my_ looks!"

"Can you two cut it out?" Sougo broke it to them.

"The straight man role doesn't suit you at all, Okita-kun," Gintoki commented.

"Wow, I'm surprised you still have the time to comment about that when we're losing Hijikata-san here, Danna,"

"No, we're not," they heard a voice and sure enough, the one taking Hijikata away flew out of the window. Mayu then took the bed Hijikata was in and said, "I need him in another operating room, quick! Get me a real doctor around here!"

"You! I knew you're not having a toilet break!" Gintoki pointed an accusing finger at her. Mayu just pouted at him. 

"Aren't you gonna do?" Ichigo complained. 

"Are you for real?" Mayu glared and pulled her brother down to give him a close glare. Ichigo then understood. She's being in and out like some sort of glitch. 

Ichigo sighed and turned to Gintoki who was walking towards them.   
"Oyaji, you heard her highness. Get mama to an operating and threaten a doctor into saving his life at all cost, or else we're gonna blow the entire place up."

"Ha?"

"She can't do it." Ichigo said, and Gintoki didn't have to be told twice. 

"Otou-san is gonna fix this, okay?" Gintoki gave a reassuring smile to Mayu then hugged her tightly before going to Ichigo and ruffled his hair affectionately, "It's great to know that I have the greatest genes just by seeing you." Hijikata said and he took Hijikata's bed to wheel it over to the nearest ER. "Okay, Hijikata-kun. You're coming with me, coz the kids wanna play,"

As soon as he was about to take Hijikata out of there, Yamada sensei came in a rush and said, "I'll take care of him, Sakata-san," and was about to take over when Ichigo charged at him, so Yamada had to take a great distance away from Hijikata in order to avoid getting sliced into half. 

"Stay the fuck away from him," Ichigo said with murder in his eyes. 

"Aniki?" Mayu asked, kind of confused. 

"Oyaji, go. Find someone to force them into saving mom. If they willingly volunteer like this idiot, kill them. That's how you can tell whether they're parasite infested or not." Ichigo said. 

"Of course I'd willingly volunteer! This is my job, and I've known about Hijikata-san's condition right from the start. Sakata-san, if you listen to him and prolong this, Hijikata-san wouldn't be able to make it," Yamada insisted with urgency.

"Shut up. I can only trust my brilliant genes, so you can shut it," Gintoki said and went on with wheeling the bed over to his location. 

"Don't trust anyone who looks infected. Anyone who looks like a rotten mess is infected so just kill them!" Ichigo called out. 

"Kill them, huh? You're one badass kid. Well, you're Hijikata's kid too, so it's not that surprising. You kids stay safe," Gintoki said before wheeling Hijikata's bed into the elevator. 

"Aniki, I investigated Yamada sensei. He's—"

"The alpha parasite took over his brain approximately... Just a few minutes ago, considering that he's not visibly rotting just yet. Who else would have implanted the parasite egg in mom's body? The doctors of course. Yamada sensei took out the parasite, but a surgeon by the name of Takeda Isui implanted an egg. He performed the surgery with Yamada but he was infested by the alpha parasite and died right after. A typical human body wouldn't be able to withstand the alpha parasite for long and it would immediately rot. He's just waiting for the unborn you to be out to fulfil this damn experiment." 

"Wow. How did you know all of that?" Mayu lifted a brow at him. Sougo and Takasugi came into picture and she immediately found the answer. "Nevermind. I actually think I know how."

 

Yamada's features darkened and Ichigo took it as the cue that he's now dropping the act. Yamada's hand grew out a blade that looks like an enormous and hideous nail. It broke out at that, and unexpectedly, the damn alpha parasite is strong. 

Mayu got his back when he got slammed against the hospital's while wall, making it crack. She's not doing that fine. It's evident that she's hurting while trying to keep herself materialized. Ichigo had seen enough so he took his sister away from the battle field. Mayu protested against it as expected. 

"Aniki! You can't take him on! He won't last long. The body is beginning to rot into a useless lump of flesh faster the more it uses more of its power. It's just looking for an opportunity to take over your body and go straight to—"

"Let your onii-chan take care of this," Sougo pulled her and Ichigo nodded in agreement as he went back to stop the alpha's attacks. 

 

"He's planning something. Okita-san, don't tell me he plans to get that thing infest him to begin with," Mayu hissed. 

"Have some faith on your brother won't you? He has a plan alright. You play your part and stay safe here." Sougo said and unsheathed his sword. Mayu watched him go and lent Ichigo a hand, but something caught her attention. That camera... She knows that camera.. It all suddenly clicked to her. 

_"That asshole!"_

 

Despite with her vision swimming, she pushed herself to stand up. Ichigo was then hand on hand with the filthy being. When Sougo was about to tear the thing away from him, Ichigo signalled him that it's about to infect him, so Sougo got ready and took the camera. 

 

Ichigo got himself ready for the alpha parasite to infect him, but he was suddenly collided into something and before he knew it, Mayu took his place and the parasite took the nearest entry to get into her brain. Mayu screamed in pain and clutched her right eye that bled.

"Mayu!" Ichigo immediately got back on his feet and was about to get to her sister but she told him to stay where he is, while holding in the pain she's experiencing all together. 

"If you're thinking of getting control of this fucker and getting yourself sent to another time with that camera, well I have a better idea, dear aniki," Mayu smirked, clearly still in pain though her smugness is evident as well. "The best option for us to get this thing away from here and the future or any other time frame is to take it with me as I disappear into nothing."

"Mayu NO! I—"

 

She fell on her knees, it was evident that the parasite was trying to get out of her, or take over her completely, but Mayu is trying herself to get it together. She stepped further away from them, knowing that Ichigo will get to her. She should cease to exist anytime soon. She couldn't make it far enough, while trying to keep her sanity, so she stopped. 

"Mayu!" Ichigo tried to grab her hand, but he grasped on nothing but thin air as his sister's hand started to dissolve. Mayu watched her own fading features with melancholy and flashed a smile at her brother. It tore Ichigo apart. He did take the chance when he still could and embraced his sister. It was the shortest minute they had in their lives until Mayu's entire presence vanished. 

 

 

Ichigo fell on his knees. He couldn't cry. His eyes were suddenly too dry to weep, and too bloodshot to shed further. He failed.. again. How many times does he have to watch this? People he loves dying all over again and again like an endless loop. It's like a curse. It could be a curse.. It must be that. 

 

 

In a distance, Sougo watched Ichigo's back, he then decided to leave. His job here is done. 

"Boss.."

"Get up. It has to be done. Hijikata-san's operation is not done yet." Sougo said, and tossed the camera to Ichigo. The raven perm was taken aback by the sudden action, albeit he effectively caught it. He stared at the item in confusion until he understood what Sougo meant. He isn't done. This isn't done. 

He collected himself together and willed himself to get to the operating room where Yamazaki reported them to go. Indeed, the operation wasn't done, and Gintoki was there outside. When he saw only Sougo and Ichigo coming, he was crest fallen. Ichigo avoided his gaze and Sougo shook his head then gestured the camera. Gintoki then understood. 

"Hey hey, we can still get this fixed okay. Otou-san is not the yorozuya boss for nothing. I can do anything. You're not inheriting the business yet, but you're taking all the blame and responsibility to yourself," Gintoki pulled Ichigo into his arms then took the camera and tossed it to Sougo. "I'm not losing any of you. Not again." He said then gave a gesture to Sougo. Gintoki then stepped back. Ichigo eyed him in confusion before he started to realize that he's starting to fade into nothing. He glanced at Sougo who has the camera pointed at him, and his eyes was blown wide. 

 

"OYAJI!"

 

"You kids had done enough," Gintoki smiled. "Let Otou-san do his thing, nah?"

 

Ichigo tried to get to him, but he already vanished before he could. Sougo put the camera down and asked, "You sure about this Danna?"

"Toshirou said that it's late. The the kids should go back home." Gintoki replied and took the camera from Sougo. "I'm taking things in my own hands this time. The kids suffered enough. Just like Ichigo said, we can't give up. Not even after this lifetime."

 

Gintoki stared at the camera on his hand. It looked different from how he remembered. So it's from the future huh? With this.. All he had to do is carry on Ichigo's plan...to go back in time even it it will turn into an endless loop...

 

 

Until he can make things right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, that's the end. But I bet u wanna check out the Epilogue   
> You have no idea how many times i rewrote the last chapter. I was always like.. "Hmmm it seems.. Uh.. Off." thus, I rewrote it again and again. Until I finally said, "fuck it!"   
> It's finally done! I know it still sucks but I'll never finish it if I keep on rewriting it lol.


	31. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few explanations that I'm sure you're asking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's have a glimpse of what happened in the future then. Its like a bonus chapter

Mayu gasped awake and she was struggling to catch her breath. It wasn't a dream. Everything is so damn real and clear for it to be a dream. What happened? The alpha— SHIT! She immediately looked around and looked for a mirror. She stumbled into some pile of Jumps and went over the mirror to check her eye where the parasite infested and— wait... WHAT? 

Her eye is perfectly fine, but that's not the issue. She looks... completely different from what she remembered. Her long straight hair is silver instead of the raven locks she remembered and her eye... They're red just like Gintoki. What's happening? 

It then opted her to check her surroundings and found out that she's in her room... Wait— her room?? As in her room back in their house above Otose-san's Snack Smile?? What's going on?! 

She rushed downstairs to check on her brother and Gintoki (they renovated the place and made another floor for the kid's room and move stuff). When she got downstairs, there was only one person in the living room slash makeshift yorozuya office. 

The person in question is lounging leisurely on the couch while watching TV as if he actually lives there. It's not what baffled Mayu though. This guy.. from what she recalled, is supposed to be dead. 

 

"So—Sora?" she spoke and the guy in question glanced at her. 

"What's with that kind of face?" Sora raised a brow on that and stood up then walked towards her. "Did you left your other pair of eyes where you also left your functioning brain?"

"Ugh, it's you alright," Mayu deadpanned. She then noticed something. "Since when did you become so tall? Do 15 year olds grow this fast nowadays?"

"Uh, hello? I just turned 18 last month? And you're never exactly taller than me, idiot." Sora scoffed. 

"18—"

"This is why I kept on telling you to stop hanging around Takasugi, Mayu," Gintoki said, having a mug of hot chocolate from the kitchen. "His midgetness is apparently contagious,"

"Oyaji—"

"Oi!" Gintoki then noticed something so he cut her off immediately. "He's gonna get mad if you don't change your—"

"What do you think you're wearing coming down here?!" Mayu whipped her head to the direction from the kitchen. There, Hijikata stood with a death glare and a steaming cup of his black morning coffee.

"Eh?"

"That's it, young lady. Go to your room and change!" Hijikata commanded and Mayu just realized that she's wearing her night clothes, which is an oversized shirt that reveals her shoulder and collarbone with a mayo pyjama. What is wrong with what she's wearing? Oh. She's not wearing a bra. The thin oversized shirt is making it so obvious—

"I said, get changed!" Hijikata threw a towel at her, effectively covering her. "You! What are you staring at?" Hijikata called out Sora. 

"As if there's something to stare at," Sora rolled his eyes. 

"Then why are you still here?!" it's Gintoki this time. "I thought I already kicked you out tem minutes ago!"

"Why are you still not changing?" Hijikata glanced Mayu while Gintoki is arguing with Sora. Hijikata didn't miss the fact that Mayu looked so confused and lost. He went over her to check on her then she said:

"Hi—Hijikata-san..."

"Ha?? You've got a nerve calling me Hijikata-san you damn brat!" Hijikata is definitely pissed again. 

"Ah, don't tell me..." Gintoki dramatically gasps. "Is this rebellious stage?"

"Like hell! I'm telling you, Gintoki, this brat right here," Hijikata said, pointing Sora, "Is really a bad influence!"

"You let Ichigo hang around Sougo too, you know." Gintoki replied. 

"This kid is a combination of that Sadist and China's genes! It's worse!"

"Don't go around badmouthing me like I'm not here, Hijikata-san." Sora said monotonously, though feigning hurt. 

"How many times do I have to tell you stop calling him that? He's married to me, so he's been Sakata for like— 20 years?" Now it's Gintoki again. 

"Tou-san still calls him Hijikata-san and Hijikata-san never complained. What's your issue?" Sora defended his case. 

"That's exactly my issue! The jerk never wanted to acknowledge the fact that this guy is already married to me! Don't go following around a bad example!" Gintoki insisted. 

"Sougo is a happily married man, Gintoki. You're talking to his actual demonic spawn, so stop that. You know that Sougo just likes getting into people's nerves."

 

"You're here... " A sudden realization sprouted with a rush of memories. Mayu realized... It's her current timeline now. 

She was frozen at first, but when she found the will to move, she hugged Hijikata like there's no tomorrow and it left everyone in the room confused. 

"O—oi. What's wrong with you? Calling me Hijikata-san and now clinging to me like I'd be away from —" then it hit him. Her memories are back. He gave Gintoki a look as he soothingly caressed her hair for comfort. Gintoki then understood. 

"Uh... What's happening?" Sora is completely at a loss. Mayu doesn't cry. Not since she's 7 at least. 

"Tadaima— oh. Mayu, what's wrong?" Ichigo scanned the room. Now this looks soooo weird and the theory that his brain is formulating sounds very unacceptable. He spotted the look on Sora's face. It gave Ichigo a completely different idea,  
"SORA! How dare you?! You're just a kid, but you already had a nerve to make a kid?! How dare you touch my sis—"

"Stop it, it's not what you think, idiot." Hijkata grabbed him before it turned into another mess. Gintoki has Mayu in his arm and then faced Ichigo. 

"She got her memories back," Gintoki said, and Ichigo stopped on his tracks. 

"Wait... you.. Aniki also remembers?" Mayu asked. 

"I got mine back around the age I first hopped through time. That's basically how it works. You get it back once you're in the age when you did it. I hopped over time like more times and earlier than you did, so it was like a double take to me." Ichigo replied. 

"Uh... I don't get anything," Sora said, completely confused about the conversation. 

"It's better like that," Gintoki deadpanned. 

"If you wanna know, go ask your old man," Hijikata said. 

"Are you just saying that to get rid of me?" Sora crossed his arm on his chest. 

"Maybe," Hijikata shrugged. "But in all seriousness, he knows everything we're talking about." 

.  
.  
.  
.  
.

 

Sora stood beside Mayu who was leaning on the railing of the bridge. She's staring at nothing in particular. Her eyes are just on the shallow river under the short wooden arc bridge.

"So I was supposed to be dead?" Sora spoke, breaking the silence. 

"It that all that your father said?" Mayu scoffed and glanced at him. 

"That's all he mostly cared about. I shouldn't end up dead at 15 so he did everything he could."

"He's lying," Mayu deadpanned. "He didn't even know that the Sora I'm talking about from this timeframe is his own son."

"At some point I think he got the hint. He's not an idiot. He's the first one who busted you after all." Sora scoffed. "So did you put your memories in sync now? Like your past memories synced with the ones you currently have?"

"They filled me in with the details so yeah. It's confusing at first, but it's better in my head now. They said I didn't actually cease to exist with the alpha parasite. Okita-san sent me back to my real timeframe and they sent aniki back after that as well. Oyaji went back in time twice like a trial and error just to find an outcome where me and Tou-san will make it through.

The best scenario he got was this. I was born prematurely and I had trouble breathing at first with my lungs barely formed. They got really worried at first, but Tou-san also recovered bit by bit together with my recovery and regular medication, so we considered that it's all good. No wonder I'm not as fit as I remembered. "

Mayu chuckled at the thought. "They still taught me their way of the sword, but I'm never allowed to spend too much time doing it. They didn't want me to exhaust myself, and I still ended up in the medical field, since they said It's the best route for me to take. Now, I understand what they meant by that,"

"You did great.. I couldn't imagine how things would've ended if you didn't go back in time," Sora suddenly said after a long stretch of silence, making Mayu glance at him.

"Wow, you never compliment me,"

"Save it in your memory then. You'll never get to hear anything else," 

"We'll see about that," Mayu gave a challenging smirk. "In some days I hope you'll die in a gutter somewhere, but now, I'm actually glad you're here too,"

"That goes without saying. You love me," Sora said with a smug face. "I'm an essential character,"

"I wouldn't put it that way," Mayu eyed him with disgust. "You may be worth something, but not to that extent,"

"Did you just reject me?" 

"Ha? Did you just confess to me?"

"I DID NOT!" They both said in unison. 

Now that's awkward, to Mayu at least. Sora shrugged it off as if it's completely nothing. Mayu stared at the very interesting water under the bridge again. This damn brat is not the brat she remembered. It's confusing now. He was a brat before with that 5 years gap. Now, if he's 18, then there's only a two year gap. He was suddenly born two years after that alpha parasite incident huh? What the hell Okita-san? Did you have a shotgun wedding with Kagura right after she got back?? 

"Hey, don't you think—" Sora was about to say something when Ichigo suddenly grabbed his collar to drag him away. 

"Here you are! Don't even think about trying to escape from work again. I need those paperwork done!" Ichigo said. 

"Oh.. ah. Wait, so he's officially in Shinsengumi now?" Mayu clarified. Her memories are not that coherent and organized yet. From the last timeframe she remembers, Sora was 15 and she was 20 so it was a 5 year gap. He was too young to be recruited in the Shinsengumi back then. She wasn't really sure what is the current standing at this point. 

"What are you talking about? Am I wearing that tacky uniform?" Sora asked. That's right. He's wearing the fashion code for the Yato clan. Just in black with edges of red. 

"Okay," Ichigo sighed, feeling that he's obligated to explain. "This moron is in a new unit that you can call like our SWAT team."

"How can you call it a unit when it's just me and Shimaru-san?" Sora deadpanned. 

"Shimaru-san was the only one in the third division before and his only member turned out to be afro Zura-san. I can't see why you're complaining." Ichigo said. 

"Still, I don't get why I have some paperwork and stuff. Give those to Shimaru-san. He loves writing." because he doesn't talk. "The only benefit I'm getting out of being in this unit is that I don't have to wear the same clothes as you guys!"

"Wait, Aniki. I forgot to ask. What's your job again?"

"I'm seriously hurt right now," Ichigo gave her a straight face, "Your cool onii-chan here is the first division captain of the Shinsengumi slash, the heir to the yorozuya family business." he said, as if the yorozuya is a very prestigious and rich family business. 

"Eh? How about Okita-san?"

"Tou-san is the vice commander, duh. Hijikata-san is the commander of course. Kondo-san retired already to focus on raising baby gorillas or something." Sora explained. "Do you remember your gorilla best friend?"

"I thought _you're_ my best friend," Mayu asked. "Riko-chan is like.. 14?"

"Don't put me in that zone, oblivious midget." Sora deadpanned. "I refuse to be called your best friend so give that title to Goriko, thank you very much,"

"Who are you calling midget you—"

"THAT'S IT! You're coming with me NOW" Ichigo grabbed Sora and dragged him away immediately. When they're far enough, Ichigo hissed at him. "You've got a nerve hitting on her while I'm here, you damn brat," Ichigo dragged him away. 

"What's the harm? She doesn't get it. She's as oblivious of this stuff as Hijikata-san." Sora shrugged. "Mami said he's really slow when it comes to these and no wonder Mayu is like that. He's surrounded by men in the household too. Mami said it's not healthy."

"I'll tell you what's not healthy. Her being with you is the unhealthiest thing for her," Ichigo replied. Of course Kagura would say something like that. 

"You should seriously consider letting her see other people. She's basically an adult now and—"

"Yes, she is, and you're still a brat at 18 who doesn't do his job properly. So nuh uh! Not you! No one! Ever!"

"Aww, I thought you liked me." Sora mocked hurt. 

"Not for my sister, nope,"

"Ouch, I thought we're best friends."

"I don't want to have a brat who's aiming for my sister to be called my best friend!"

"So you're disowning me now? That's harsh." Sora said, "Top ten anime betrayal: Your friend disowning you because of his sister complex,"

"Hey!"

"But seriously, Ichigo... You're crazy." Ichigo didn't get to reply to that immediately since Sora continued. "You really did a lot of crazy stuff and lept through time like it's just the next apartment's balcony. You're crazy. You two are crazy. Danna is also crazy. Hijikata-san is barely sane for making me do all the work in the barracks."

Ichigo chuckled. He knows exactly what Sora meant at that. He continued dragging Sora, (who didn't mind being dragged. He's too used to it to care) and said, "Yup. It runs in the blood. You sure you still want that crazy genes?"

"Oh? You're giving your sister to me now?"

"HELL NO!"

 

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**BONUS**

 

Gintoki is tired. He's so damn tired, but Hijikata just got back after uh.. Two weeks? Damn, that's too long. They should definitely do something. 

"You're tired. I'm tired from work too. We should just sleep," Hijikata groaned. They're already in bed and the kids are already asleep in their own separate rooms. 

"You're gonna have to leave again early in the morning." Gintoki whined. 

"I'm just gonna do the usual morning patrol. I'll be back after that," Hijikata said. 

"But—"

"Come on, just sleep. I know you're tired of following Mayu around in the school." Hijikata insisted. "Come to think of it. You should stop that. I think she's aware of it by now. You're embarrassing her."

"Takasugi visited her there once! He's been meeting our kid behind our back like— like a lolicon and I thought his subordinate was the lolicon! He doesn't even pass the height qualifications of being a lolicon!"

"Shut up. You know why Takasugi is visiting her from time to time. He got involved too much into this shit. Just keep him away in a safe distance before he could snatch our kid and make her produce drugs for him to smuggle."

"She's too young for that," Gintoki mumbled. 

"Exactly. That's why you can relax," Hijikata said. 

"So he'll kidnap her when she's old enough and—"

 

"Are you having sex?" Ichigo's voice behind the closed door suddenly broke the conversation. 

"Oi, language!" Gintoki sat up to open up the door. 

"I don't wanna catch you guys getting at it," Ichigo made a disgusted face as soon as Gintoki opened the door. Well, he's a growing teenager. What did Gintoki expect? 

"It's late. Why are you still up?" Hijikata sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to assess the situation. 

Ichigo stared at Gintoki for an entire minute without saying anything and suddenly headbutted him, making Gintoki curl in pain as Ichigo hopped to bed and to Hijikata's side.

"What's wrong with that kid going in puberty like this?!" Gintoki groaned, still clutching his head. 

"I'm sleeping here," Ichigo suddenly declared and snuggled into Hijikata. He clung to him as if he's gonna disappear if he didn't. 

"No, you're not cockblocking again young man. How are we going to fit with you in here? Hey, move over. Don't make me sleep on the spare futon. I missed him too, so don't hoard him all to yourself." Gintoki said. 

Ichigo didn't reply. He's obviously not asleep yet, he just chose to remain silent. Hijikata and Gintoki exchanged glances. The teenager apparently looks upset or troubled so Hijikata began to massage his scalp and ran his fingers through Ichigo's raven perm.

"Oi, Gintoki, what did you do?" Hijikata glared accusingly. 

"Don't look at me like that! I didn't steal his strawberry milk this time!" Gintoki held his hands up. "I told him to write his name on his strawberry milks!"

"Then why is he acting like this?" Hijikata demanded an answer, which Gintoki can't provide one. 

"What happened?" Hijikata asked Ichigo this time. His voice was low yet careful.

"You're here.. We're all here.. I... I actually have everyone now. You guys... Made it through. You, Oyaji.. and Mayu.." Ichigo's grip on Hijikata got tighter and the adults immediately understood. Ichigo remembered. Everything. Gintoki joined in and ruffed the young man's hair affectionately. 

"I told you Otou-san can do anything. I'm not the yorozuya boss for nothing," 

"Don't touch me. I'm still mad that you sent me back" Ichigo mumbled. 

Gintoki chuckled. "So that's what the headbutt was for then. I thought you got mad because I replaced your strawberry milk with my empty one."

"WHAT?! I KNEW IT! YOU DID IT! It was clearly your handwriting!"

"Who do you think is giving you the money to buy your strawberry milk? That's right, young man. That basically still my money, thus my strawberry milk." Gintoki justified. 

"Tou-san!" Ichigo resorted to Hijikata. Hijikata just sighed. At least he isn't troubled about his regained memories now. 

"Fine, fine. I'm giving you the money for the strawberry milk from now on. This stupid perm is dead broke again because of pachinko this week anyway."

"Hey!" Gintoki protested. 

"And _you_ ," gestured Gintoki, "I'm not Giving you money if you keep on stealing his strawberry milks, you hear?"

"What??"

"If you go back to that pachinko parlor again this week, I'll beat the shit out of you." 

"Ahhh that's why I love you Tou-san," Ichigo clung to Hijikata more. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm the best," Hijikata hummed in agreement. 

"Hey, this is why I told you to stop spoiling him!" Gintoki demanded. 

"I'm not spoiling him. You just clearly stole his strawberry milk, be rational and compensate for that,"

"You always take his side too! That's so unfair!" Gintoki protested. 

"How is it unfair? You just admitted you took his stuff." Hijikata groaned. He's too tired for this. 

"Tou-san! Oyaji!" Mayu then came running to their room. "Aniki is not in his room!" When Mayu saw the three of them, she tilted her head in confusion. "What's going on?"

"Oh. I'm sleeping here tonight," Ichigo sat up. "I'm sorry if I scared you."

"I wasn't scared. I was worried!" the 11 years old Mayu disagreed.

"Yeah, yeah. Worrying makes me scared too." Ichigo replied. 

"If you're sleeping here, I'm sleeping here too!" Mayu squeezed herself in and of course, it's impossible for all the four of them to fit. 

"You guys are kicking me out of the bed??" Gintoki said in disbelief. "This is supposed to be my alone time with your mom here and you guys are obviously taking him away from me."

"We miss Tou-san too!" Mayu pouted. 

"you too? Why is everyone against me today? That's it. I'm leaving!" Gintoki sulked, and Hijikata wasn't buying it, but he just want a peaceful sleep to rest from a long day, so he called Gintoki. 

"Come on, Gintoki. Let's just sleep. Let's just set the futons together so we'll all fit." with that arrangement, they all slept together. Gintoki got to sleep beside Hijikata with Mayu by his other side and Ichigo by Hijikata's other side. "Just sleep, Gintoki," Hijikata mumbled. Sensing that the perm isn't asleep yet while the kids already dozed off. 

"Thinking back about it... I'm really glad we managed to keep this family together, Toshirou." Gintoki said, making Hijikata glance at him. "You have no idea how painful it was to me that you had to die over and over again in my arms. It was even more painful than death itself. I barely managed to save Mayu and she ended up with a messed up lungs."

"Stop that. You did more than enough to get us where we are right now... it's nice seeing the kids grow. Though I feel like I'm raising three kids altogether."

"Ah?"

"Don't ah me. Stop picking childish fights with the kids, you idiot."

"I didn't start it!"

"Ah, seriously. What kind of a father would say that? You're like stealing your own kid's lollipop. Wait, you actually did. You stole the lollipop I bought for Mayu the other day." Hijikata can't believe this. 

"She doesn't like sweets anyway. Plus you wouldn't give me one." Gintoki justified. 

"You're on sugar watch, Gintoki. I told you to refrain from the sweets. What am I gonna do with you?" Hijikata groaned. 

"Fine. I get it. I'll stop. In one condition though."

"What is it this time?"

"We haven't done _that_ for a while now and I seriously—"

"Seriously! The kids are here! Like literally WITH US," Hijikata hissed, still managing to keep in like a whisper. 

"I didn't say now,"

"I said I don't wanna catch you guys getting at it. Spare my sister from the indecency too," Ichigo butted in. Apparently, he heard them. 

"Stop cockblocking you ungrateful kid," Gintoki deadpanned, pulling Hijikata close to him and away from Ichigo. "Be grateful to procreation. That's how we created your sister,"

"Ew, I don't want to hear it,"

"Aw, he's jealous we didn't make him through procreation, Toshirou. Don't worry. We can fix that. Does our little strawberry want a baby brother?" Gintoki cooed. 

 

"NO!" 

Hijikata and Ichigo said in unison. Yup, That is definitely not a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the half assed art I did with this chapter too here:[Epilogue Art](https://66.media.tumblr.com/be5f689c5f57bc62ec7adba486c2165b/tumblr_pmru6cloEE1vfzl9no1_400.png)
> 
> Uh, If you guys are wondering why they started calling Hijikata "Tou-san," it's because of Sougo, brainwashing the kids (especially Ichigo) to call Hijikata Mama Toshi. It slowly turned into Tou-san. That's why Hijikata was blaming Sora (who is Sougo's spawn) when Mayu suddenly called him Hijikata-san. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading along until this very chapter. I'm very grateful to those who stuck with the ride from the very beginning when I was still cramming for my undergrad thesis but ended up starting and updating a fic every three or four days instead of actually doing my thesis. You don't have to know but, I actually memorize all the usernames of the frequent commentators, so I recognize new ones. I love reading your comments really. (you must've already noticed that with how talkative I am in the replies) Thank you for all the bookmarks, subscription and the kudos too! That really motivated me a lot.


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